Joe Rogan Experience #2488 - James McCann

0:01 Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.

0:03 The Joe Rogan Experience.

0:06 TRAIN BY DAY, JOE ROGAN PODCAST BY NIGHT.

0:08 All day.

0:12 Everything's great.

0:13 Thanks for having [music] me back.

0:14 Good to see you, my brother.

0:15 How are you?

0:16 Always great to see you.

0:18 I'm good.

0:19 It was fun having you at the club last night.

0:21 terrified.

0:21 I was[ __] terrified.

0:22 You just look like you're back, you know?

0:24 No, I thought I thought that's it.

0:25 I've been away for too long.

0:26 I'm going to suck.

0:27 None of the new stuff's going to work.

0:29 They'll see me, they'll go, Uh he was wrong to come back.

0:31 __] him off.

0:32 It was so nice.

0:33 It was so nice.

0:35 You were telling the story.

0:36 I I said, "Hold these thoughts."

0:38 Yeah.

0:38 What I didn't know you didn't I didn't know we'd never spoken about it.

0:40 No, tell me the story.

0:41 I Well, that's why I came to America to start

0:44 is uh I got offered a job hosting a Catholic podcast.

0:47 And they fired me as I had packed up everything in Adelaide.

0:51 This is like 2 and a bit years ago.

0:52 I had the kids and the wife and on the way to America I got fired.

0:56 And they said, "We'll still pay your rent.

0:58 It's in Steubenville, Ohio,

0:59 beautiful Appalachian town just outside of Pittsburgh.

1:03 And uh yeah, it's where we were 3 months I was there.

1:07 So what did they see that they fired you for?

1:10 A lot.

1:11 They made [laughter] a compilation video.

1:12 No, the guy the guy who showed up They were right to fire me.

1:15 They they were right to fire No, no, they weren't.

1:16 No, cuz it was a good clean Catholic podcast.

1:19 And then the the business manager was like,

1:21 "You There was a sketch about stabbing

1:23 someone in the throat with an AIDS needle.

1:25 They're they're like, "He uses the word[ __] all the time." They're like,

1:27 "This is a sponsorship nightmare.

1:29 Get him out." And I So I said, "Okay." But they still said,

1:32 "We'll uh we'll pay your rent for 3 months and you can figure something out.

1:36 You still got a visa." And I was terrified.

1:39 I was just in the snow.

1:40 and a wife.

1:41 Three kids, no job.

1:42 I didn't have the money to go back home.

1:43 Oh my god.

1:44 I couldn't afford to go back home.

1:46 Oh my god.

1:46 And I had I didn't know that I had been passed

1:48 at the mothership cuz I didn't know how the system worked.

1:51 So on the way in to go uh to Steubenville where I was like,

1:55 "I'll figure something out." I stopped in at Austin to see Shane.

1:58 Shane said, "Go and do the mothership open mic." I did it.

2:01 Adam Eget said, "If you're ever in town, come back.

2:03 We'll pay for space." I didn't know that meant I was passed.

2:06 I didn't know I could work here.

2:08 Oh.

2:08 I just thought he was like I could audition again.

2:11 And then uh so I had 3 confronting months in the snow.

2:14 Beautiful part of the world.

2:16 It was the most terrified I've ever been in my He says that as an Australian.

2:20 That's from from Ohio.

2:22 I'd say that's the most beautiful part of the world.

2:24 it.

2:24 I wish I went back.

2:25 I wish that white West Virginia Yeah, that's where you That's where

2:27 It looks exactly like that.

2:29 Well, that area is gorgeous.

2:32 It's I was God's country,

2:32 but also so abandoned by like the the potholes are crazy.

2:39 I saw real heroin addicts.

2:40 I'd never really seen heroin addicts before.

2:43 Just sleepy people.

2:44 I saw street prostitutes.

2:46 That's still going on?

2:47 And this is a small town, right?

2:49 a small town.

2:49 This is uh I I went to There are

2:52 Catholics who've moved there to try and like fix it.

2:55 It was where Dean Martin was from.

2:57 The Wu-Tang Clan kind of started out there.

2:59 They started in Ireland?

3:00 No, yes, but I think it's like the RZA's auntie lived there and they

3:05 moved out there and then they got involved in rap in the Pittsburgh scene.

3:09 to ask.

3:09 Was the RZA's aunt real soon?

3:10 I'll ask him about that.

3:11 I'm right about that.

3:12 They don't have a mural for them.

3:15 Wow.

3:14 Um but it's great.

3:15 There's uh Yeah, there's a lot of Catholic content creators there.

3:20 Um and they're trying to take over town.

3:21 There's I went there originally cuz my New Polity is like my favorite magazine.

3:26 And I got to meet the guys who made it.

3:27 And I was so excited.

3:28 So how did they hire you?

3:31 With Wu-Tang's RZA found a second chance in Steubenville.

3:35 And they all come over to visit him.

3:37 This he discussed a largely undocumented era

3:40 of his life in which Pittsburgh played a role.

3:43 Wow.

3:45 And that's one of the first conversations we had.

3:46 I was like, you said something about Pittsburgh that wasn't flattering.

3:49 I said, "I love Pittsburgh." You're like, "You don't know anything.

3:53 You're a foreigner.

3:54 You don't know anything [laughter] about America.

3:55 Pittsburgh is a horrible place." I was like, "I don't know.

3:58 I had a nice time there." I thought it was good.

4:00 Uh it's just a little depressing.

4:03 Do you see like the the thing about uh a lot of those sort

4:08 of industrial kind of towns There's not a ton of options for people.

4:14 No.

4:15 Pittsburgh more so than like the place that you were in.

4:18 But like when you get to a place where there's

4:19 not a lot of options and then you see real poverty.

4:22 Like this is poverty with no solutions.

4:26 You know what I mean?

4:26 Not Pittsburgh.

4:27 You know, Pittsburgh's

4:28 Oh no, just outside of Pittsburgh.

4:29 I was more For sure.

4:30 No, I saw I saw things in West Virginia that were uh pretty confronting.

4:36 Mm.

4:37 And like, you know, that are like And some of it's great.

4:39 Some of the things from the poverty are wonderful.

4:40 Drive-thru cigarette shop.

4:42 You don't like that?

4:43 I loved having drive-thru cigarettes.

4:45 So I got you know, just like trying to get the kids to sleep.

4:49 My wife's upset cuz I got her in a foreign Like again, she never signed up,

4:52 "Let's move to America." She was like, "We'll go for 3 months." Right.

4:55 And then I was like, "Oh[ __] I'm unemployed.

4:57 Uh I better quickly figure out how to be

4:59 a stand-up comedian." I was bussing out of Steubenville.

5:04 Just [laughter]

5:05 I would like I caught the I went I

5:07 I got it Someone gave me a lift to Pittsburgh.

5:09 This is when I saw the worst stuff.

5:10 I got a lift to Pittsburgh and then

5:12 I caught the Greyhound from Pittsburgh to Cleveland

5:15 to open for Sam Talent who let me open who unbelievably let me open for.

5:19 He's the best.

5:20 him in Australia.

5:20 Yeah.

5:21 Such a good guy.

5:22 And uh but like that bus trip from Pittsburgh

5:24 to Cleveland was it was the most upsetting Oh, man.

5:30 I was People were spitting on the ground at the bus station.

5:32 Like an immigrant like an illegal immigrant woman

5:34 came and tried to give me a phone.

5:36 I remember that vividly.

5:37 Give you a phone?

5:38 to give me a free phone.

5:40 She's like, "You can have this." Because she said she said,

5:42 "You're on benefits." Everyone on benefits gets a free phone.

5:46 It was some like policy.

5:47 She just assumed I was on benefits because I was at the Greyhound bus station.

5:51 And she was illegal?

5:52 I don't know if she was illegal,

5:53 but she had a strong accent and like a weird dress

5:56 and a baby on her back and a sack full of phones.

5:59 A sack full of phones?

6:00 Like a sack of phones.

6:01 So she was somehow in charge of distributing free phones to people?

6:04 I'll never truly know what that was about.

6:07 Boy, I would have investigated further.

6:09 There was uh [laughter]

6:10 I was scared.

6:11 I was just scared.

6:12 They were like __] Huge African guys sitting on the ground.

6:15 Give you a phone.

6:16 Uh it was And then after that I sat

6:18 next to a guy who's having a full psychotic episode.

6:20 I think we follow each other on Instagram now.

6:22 He's gotten rid of his Instagram.

6:24 Really?

6:24 But yeah, and he told me the secrets about Chris Benoit.

6:27 That he was a good man.

6:28 The wrestler?

6:29 He killed his family.

6:31 Yeah.

6:31 guy tried to tell me only he was I It's like burnt He said he only

6:34 killed his family to send them to God and you can't blame a man for that.

6:37 Oh.

6:39 All right, let's This is only a 3-hour bus trip.

6:42 We're going to get through this.

6:43 We're going to be fine.

6:44 Oh boy.

6:45 Oh, man.

6:45 But I did I did enjoy my time in that part of the world.

6:48 Well, you probably enjoy it now that it's over.

6:51 That you survived it.

6:52 a good point.

6:53 Yeah, there's some things asked me at the time Yeah,

6:56 there's some things that are not fun while they're happening,

6:58 but are really fun once you got through it.

7:01 I mean, I remember the people I met along the way.

7:04 Uh I remember [snorts] driving to Austin and like it

7:08 was like spring was start Like the further south we got,

7:11 the more lush it became.

7:12 Yeah.

7:13 It was like, "Fuck, I'm I might be okay."

7:15 And then someone let me stay in their house.

7:16 I didn't have a house to stay in so

7:17 my A podcast listener's friend let us stay in there.

7:21 With your family?

7:22 With my whole family.

7:23 Let us house-sit for them while they were in Japan.

7:25 Oh my god.

7:25 Um That's crazy.

7:27 I know.

7:27 The whole time it was like if I don't

7:29 get if I don't get passed at the mothership now,

7:31 I I don't think people should come here

7:33 and live in their cars with their family.

7:35 But it does you know, Well, that's a fire under your ass.

7:39 Well, that's the thing.

7:40 It's like if you're forced into action.

7:42 Yeah.

7:43 Like you had no Not just yourself.

7:45 Like you could go, "Woe is me." But when

7:47 you're a father and a husband, you have children.

7:51 And people who do not have children do not understand the drive

7:56 that it gives you to protect and care for those little people.

8:00 It's kind of crazy.

8:01 So if you'll find something Why I don't understand how people do

8:04 it without Like I meet men who are really driven and motivated.

8:08 And they have no kids.

8:09 But they're like every day they're working

8:11 I I don't know what their motivation is.

8:12 Before I had kids I was just

8:15 Money.

8:15 What are you going to buy?

8:16 They're in a They're in a game.

8:18 They're playing a game.

8:19 No.

8:19 Yeah, they're just playing this game of accumulate the most stuff.

8:23 Be able to brag about the most stuff you have and much rather lie down.

8:29 [laughter] I would rather not do anything if I had a choice.

8:31 But not really cuz you love doing comedy.

8:33 I love doing comedy,

8:34 but I never before I had kids was trying to do comedy that people would enjoy.

8:39 Do you know what I mean?

8:40 I think that is also though because you

8:42 were living in Australia and there was limited options.

8:46 Right?

8:47 I had kids.

8:47 I don't know Australian system is very different than American.

8:50 It's mostly festival driven.

8:52 It's festival driven and it's uh

8:54 to a much greater extent I've thought about this.

8:56 It's like industry driven.

8:58 Like Industry?

8:59 Yeah, we don't What Which industry?

9:01 Like uh managers and agents, which is one role in Australia.

9:05 But they they are deciding who's succeeding.

9:07 And TV people are deciding who's succeeding.

9:09 Whereas like in America, everybody is on the road.

9:12 Everybody has one or two openers.

9:14 Mhm.

9:15 And there are there's a whole lineage of who brought who up Right.

9:19 business.

9:19 Like uh Dan Soder had Nick Mullen, Tim Dillon, and Shane Gillis open for him.

9:26 Like those were his openers.

9:27 Right.

9:28 Um and not because they were successful or someone wanted them to thrive.

9:32 He just thought they were funny people.

9:33 And they got to be his openers.

9:34 You I don't know who you were opening

9:36 for, but you have people who come up and Well,

9:38 I didn't really do it I didn't have it that way.

9:42 I do it that way, but I didn't have it that way.

9:44 I didn't really come up with anybody where I opened

9:46 for any I just I had a very weird path to success.

9:49 you got to go to LA and just be in the middle Like there's a scene there.

9:54 There's a lot of people.

9:55 came out to LA with a job already.

9:57 Okay.

9:58 on a sitcom already.

9:59 You started in Boston though.

10:01 Yes.

10:01 Started in Boston.

10:03 Look, it's very embarrassing how lucky I am.

10:07 I'm like one of the luckiest people that's ever lived.

10:09 Like it's stumble upon success after success.

10:13 So, when I was 6 years into comedy, I was already on TV.

10:17 So, I was 3 years into comedy, I was basically barely getting paid.

10:23 I was barely a professional.

10:25 Like I was getting some spots in bars and stuff like that.

10:29 I was making money, but I was driving limousines.

10:31 I was doing odd jobs, doing different things.

10:34 And uh I was also still teaching at the time.

10:36 I was still teaching taekwondo for the first maybe 6 months or so when I was 21.

10:45 I I think I kept teaching.

10:48 And then I eventually had to quit because I

10:50 realized I could not commit to doing both things.

10:53 I don't want to half-ass my students.

10:55 Yeah.

10:55 And I don't want to So, so so for the first 2 3 years of comedy,

11:00 barely you know, I'm barely a comedian.

11:03 Just I'm trying.

11:04 I'm trying to do it.

11:05 I'm getting some laughs.

11:06 Met a manager as an open micer.

11:09 And he brought me to New York and he's still my manager today.

11:13 Wow.

11:14 The best.

11:15 know that.

11:15 Yeah, it's total luck.

11:17 Total No, you also are super handsome guy.

11:19 I've seen I've seen you then.

11:21 I was boy pretty.

11:22 You look like [laughter] a[ __] different person.

11:24 First of all, what was it is that it is crazy,

11:26 but also a lot of those comics you started

11:28 with who maybe it took longer I won't say hideous,

11:31 but they don't they didn't look Well,

11:32 that definitely helped me get on television.

11:34 It definitely helped me get on television.

11:36 So, I did the MTV half hour comedy hour um in 1993, I believe it was.

11:42 And next thing you know, I had a development deal.

11:43 Next thing you know, I was on a sitcom and living out here.

11:46 Living in but do you think it doesn't happen for people?

11:49 Do you think there's anyone in America who has a good work ethic

11:52 and is really talented that it doesn't work out for them in comedy?

11:56 Or does it work out every You'd have to have a health issue.

11:59 Health issues or a really horrible relationship.

12:01 Those things could do you in.

12:03 Or like you could have a drug problem.

12:04 Yeah, that'll do you in.

12:05 Gamble your money away.

12:06 That could do you in, too.

12:07 Yeah.

12:08 Yeah, there's a bunch of things that can do you in.

12:10 But it's crazy like that there are like not

12:13 a lot of undiscovered geniuses in America in the same way.

12:17 Like people will want to make money off of you if you've got it.

12:20 Yeah, but there's some people that are just really horrible at marketing.

12:24 Like Brian Holtzman for instance.

12:26 Yeah.

12:27 Right?

12:27 We we had to kind of like force Brian Holtzman into the modern era.

12:32 Yes.

12:33 Like and he's always been a comics comic

12:35 and he's always been a guy that we would

12:37 all sit in the back of the room at the at at at the store and watch.

12:41 But he was always getting these terrible spots and it

12:43 wasn't until we brought cuz he never went on the road.

12:46 Brian and I started out together.

12:48 So, at the store together in '94.

12:51 We were both like I think he came in '93 and I came a year later.

12:55 was working for like Pan Am or something?

12:57 He was a dog catcher for a while.

12:59 Yeah.

13:00 He was a I think he might have been a meter maid.

13:02 I see him here at the I haven't seen him yet.

13:03 Yes, he's here all the time.

13:05 He lives out here now.

13:06 I don't know if he goes back and forth, but he he lives out here all the time.

13:07 I don't know if he goes back and forth, he lives out here all the time.

13:10 He's the best.

13:12 We I went to church with him.

13:13 I don't know if I even know if I should tell this story,

13:15 but I we would we went to church together once.

13:17 And it was really lovely.

13:18 He took me out for breakfast afterwards cuz he's Catholic.

13:20 And it was so funny cuz the priest at the end

13:22 like gave the announcements and one of the things

13:24 he was like they're doing a parish they're doing

13:26 like uh what do what do you call it?

13:28 Like a like a talent show for everybody.

13:31 He's just announcing this to the whole like 300 people.

13:33 And Brian goes he goes there every week.

13:34 They go, "So, if anyone's got a skill, if anyone's a juggler,

13:37 anyone's a comedian, come and do that for the talent show for everybody."

13:41 [laughter] And he he he gave no impression that he would be doing it,

13:44 but I love he[ __] spoon face jabs.

13:46 I think he would be terrified and upset if he had brought that.

13:50 He's the sweetest man in the world.

13:51 I don't want to give that away.

13:52 If people don't know.

13:53 He's a lovely man.

13:54 He's a great guy in real life.

13:56 He always was.

13:57 Always was.

13:57 Like I've known him forever.

13:59 Um so we we were we So, he's an what what I would say is like an undiscovered

14:03 genius cuz he was a guy that was just[ __] killing it,

14:05 but never went on the road.

14:07 He only worked the store.

14:09 I rarely saw him even at like the Laugh Factory or the Improv.

14:12 I don't I don't I don't know if I could ever recall seeing him at those places.

14:17 But he had he had to consciously make the decision not to go on the road.

14:21 Well, it's hard because it's not offered to you.

14:25 You know, it's like how do you do it?

14:27 If you just do all your sets at the store,

14:29 you kind of have to have someone take you with them, right?

14:32 So, what I what happened with me is I

14:35 mostly did the road around New York and Connecticut.

14:39 So, when I moved to New York in I guess a '91-ish.

14:43 Yeah, so probably like '91-ish.

14:45 And so, when I moved there,

14:47 um the real money like to be able to pay bills was in the road.

14:51 It was not in New New York City.

14:53 New York City did not pay pay very well.

14:55 You can get a lot of spots, but also I was really new,

14:58 so maybe I couldn't have gotten a lot of spots,

14:59 but I could get a lot of spots doing gigs for like John Schuler.

15:04 He had a whole Connecticut run that you could do.

15:06 They were great gigs.

15:07 They paid like 300 bucks a night.

15:09 Or you could do Gonzo at a bunch of New Jersey and those paid really well.

15:14 collapse at some point?

15:15 No, there's still probably some sort of a network of road shows.

15:19 There's a Louis has a story on someone's podcast about

15:22 like crashing his motorcycle and then like a bubble bursting.

15:25 I don't know if he was speaking A bubble bursting?

15:28 like comedy all of a sudden clubs started to close.

15:32 Well, there's been ups and downs with that.

15:34 There was there was um I came in to comedy

15:38 in '88 and apparently in '84 in Boston, it was even better.

15:43 Like there was like a peak and but I'm like,

15:44 "Really?" Like cuz when I came in it was amazing.

15:46 There was clubs everywhere.

15:48 Like, "Nah, you missed it." So,

15:49 there's always been the this like up and down of clubs closing

15:54 and club but like New York is on the rise right now.

15:56 There's a bunch of clubs that have opened up in New York.

15:58 New York's comedy right now is[ __] doing great.

16:01 I hope Yeah, I hope they can figure it out.

16:03 What do you mean?

16:04 Well, I was in uh last time I was in LA

16:07 the spirit was so I was never in LA for it being great,

16:10 but I've heard all the stories about Yeah.

16:12 everyone's sports car at the back of the thing

16:14 and there's this gig and that gig.

16:15 And then I was everybody like has no

16:17 sense that it's ever going to work for them.

16:19 Like no one's even bothered to It's like three podcasts in LA

16:23 now that people don't I don't want to talk about that.

16:25 Like here, everybody is so hopeful in Austin.

16:27 And I I can look at like Peyton made it.

16:29 Like last night I'm looking at that green room.

16:31 I'm like all of these people have money and they're

16:33 touring and they came here and they got to do it.

16:36 Like and the hope and the adventure and when I was in LA

16:39 everyone was just You might have picked up on that at night,

16:42 but it's also like the Comedy Store has always been a top down vibe.

16:47 That seems like it's getting better.

16:48 it's definitely getting better cuz Rose is running it now.

16:51 She's awesome.

16:52 But I think the Comedy Store has always been a top down vibe.

16:56 And if there was a bunch of like big name national acts that were

17:01 really cool and fun to hang out with, then it was a great vibe.

17:04 And when they're gone, it always felt empty.

17:07 It always felt weird.

17:08 This is how it was with me in the '90s when I was there.

17:11 And I think that's how it is now.

17:12 We're all out here now.

17:14 Yeah.

17:14 You know, and it's like and then people

17:16 kind of feel abandoned, so they feel sad.

17:19 You know, it feels And then they get a little mad at you.

17:21 Like, "Yeah, you think[ __] me doing it in Austin." And so,

17:25 it develops a stupid rift, which is the dumbest thing ever.

17:27 We're all on the same team.

17:29 And also, you could work here, too.

17:30 Like it's so dumb.

17:32 Like but the rift is a real thing.

17:34 But it's like you have to be around a bunch of people

17:37 that are having a good time to have a good time.

17:39 You can't be the only person having a good time.

17:41 And the rift can be good.

17:42 The rift can motivate people to Have you seen La Merz Twitter?

17:47 No, what's he doing?

17:48 He's just going hard on New York people

17:50 and saying[ __] all of them and Austin's number one.

17:52 He's trying to he's doing the same thing they would do to him.

17:55 But I think I think he New York is[ __] great.

17:57 Your comedy is great.

17:59 There's so many great comics.

18:01 Norman and Soder and[ __] Andrew Schulz and David Tell's the best live.

18:06 There's great comedians in New York.

18:08 I don't see how you could have kids.

18:10 Uh Gaffigan raised all his kids there and he's like super Yeah,

18:14 and he's super clean Catholic guy.

18:17 Yeah.

18:17 I don't know how he's I've never met him.

18:19 First of all, he's got some money.

18:20 So, he Money has got to help.

18:21 Send him to a nice place to go to school where they're not going to get eaten.

18:27 [laughter] I think the trans thing is done in the schools.

18:29 Yeah, it's dropped off significantly.

18:31 I had really cuz we were home schooling and I I was just aware cuz my dad's

18:36 a teacher and he would he would say I don't want to get him in trouble,

18:40 but he would report he would report that the numbers were developing.

18:44 And I think as a social phenomenon,

18:45 it seems to have like Now everyone just says they have an anxiety disorder.

18:49 Well, um you know when it dropped off like noticeably?

18:53 When Elon bought Twitter.

18:55 We just stopped pumping the content to say it's good.

18:57 all of a sudden you could say whatever you wanted.

19:00 And so, you could make fun of it now.

19:02 And then people realized, "Oh,

19:03 this is is a completely falsely propped up narrative." I mean,

19:08 do you smoke cigars?

19:09 I quit all nicotine Do you have it?

19:13 Do you have alcohol?

19:14 I have a drink.

19:15 get you some alcohol.

19:16 If I could have a whiskey.

19:17 I quit I quit all nicotine uh What happened?

19:20 I I I just having heart palpitations.

19:23 I was doing it a lot.

19:25 [laughter] I had a problem.

19:26 I cannot do a little bit.

19:28 I see you you'll just like you'll be backstage,

19:30 you'll have one cigarette and you're fine.

19:33 Yeah.

19:33 I can't.

19:34 And I never smoke outside of right before a show.

19:37 I don't I mean, I But I'm More power to you.

19:40 I know how to shut things off and I I also regulate.

19:44 Like like I realize like when I when I have an issue.

19:47 Like the nicotine pouches, I can just stop them.

19:50 I've gone on vacation and just not take them and I'm fine.

19:53 I think but I think it's my biology.

19:55 It's almost time for spring break.

19:57 So maybe you're headed to the beach or maybe you're taking the kids

20:00 on a road trip or maybe you're just taking some extra time for yourself.

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21:02 I was quitting going back when I went back

21:05 to Australia and I came off nicotine at the same time.

21:08 I think that was the closest to serious unpleasant Really?

21:11 think I ever got through to abusive but man,

21:13 there was a lot of shouting at the family.

21:15 What the[ __] are you doing?

21:18 [laughter] PUT IT DOWN.

21:19 I WAS NOT A HAPPY MAN.

21:20 DID IT LAST?

21:22 It was for a month.

21:23 I was real bad.

21:24 Wow.

21:25 real bad.

21:26 That's crazy.

21:27 For me, um I don't know what it is, man.

21:30 I just I could just put it alone, leave it alone and I'm fine.

21:33 And now I monitored myself.

21:35 Like I went on vacation for like 8 days with the family and I said,

21:38 all right, no nicotine pouches.

21:39 Let's see what happens.

21:40 Just see if I see if I go crazy.

21:42 I was waiting.

21:44 Nothing.

21:44 Nothing hap- nothing.

21:47 Was it you with the pouches?

21:48 Was the pouches the thing?

21:49 patches.

21:50 And also, I mean I I got on the patches to get off the cigarettes

21:54 and then I had to go on the cigarettes to get off the patches.

21:56 Then I was having cigarettes and patches and the gum [laughter]

22:01 and my heart would start to go and my mood would like go way up and way down.

22:05 Wow.

22:05 Um but it was I got a lot done.

22:07 See, I I get addicted to things.

22:10 Yeah.

22:10 Like doing things.

22:12 Um like real bad.

22:13 Like uh I used to get used to get addicted.

22:15 Archery, sure, but the thing about archery is you can only do it so much.

22:19 Archery's good because it's you know, my bow is 80 lb to pull back.

22:24 And so if I'm pulling it back and I have another one that's 90.

22:27 And so when I'm pulling it back 80 lb, you can only do that so many times.

22:31 You know, I could do that maybe 100 times

22:32 in a day and my[ __] shoulder's blown out.

22:35 If you're hunting though, I mean you're not shooting very often.

22:39 But you wouldn't be able to get so

22:41 tired that if you got in a dangerous situation, No.

22:43 No.

22:43 No.

22:44 When you're hunting, first of all, you're jacked up with adrenaline.

22:47 Like like you could pull a branch off a[ __] tree.

22:50 You're you're so jacked up with adrenaline.

22:52 You're just trying to stay calm.

22:54 Like when you're about to pull your bow the bow come pulls back effortlessly.

22:58 It's like It's like you don't even notice that it's It pulls back so easy.

23:03 You're so ramped up.

23:04 You're not even thinking about are you doing that?

23:06 Bow hunting?

23:07 Yeah.

23:07 Seriously only a couple times a year because I'm elk hunting, you know.

23:12 And if I get an elk Seasonal?

23:13 Yes.

23:14 It's September.

23:15 September and October.

23:17 Those are the time.

23:17 But in in Texas we hunt pigs sometimes.

23:20 We have a a lease out here.

23:21 So we'll go and hunt with a few of my friends from archery country.

23:24 Shout out to Tyler.

23:26 Uh and my friend Evan from Black Rifle Coffee.

23:29 We'll go out to

23:30 pigs?

23:30 Oh, they're everywhere.

23:32 Okay.

23:32 They're infested with wild pigs are all over Texas.

23:36 you.

23:36 There's millions of them.

23:38 Like literally millions of them.

23:39 Like one time they opened up a highway.

23:41 Like they built this new highway and the day it opened up,

23:45 they had like this[ __] ridiculous amount of accidents cuz people were hitting

23:49 wild pigs cuz there were so many wild pigs out there that they're just

23:52 crashing into them on the road with this new highway cuz the pigs had

23:56 never seen cars before on this spot because they hadn't finished the road yet.

24:00 Then all of a sudden there's cars everywhere

24:02 and these wild pigs are just getting[ __] What

24:04 did they land on cuz in Australia when

24:06 they have a kangaroo problem in a similar thing.

24:08 Cheers.

24:08 God bless.

24:08 Thank you.

24:09 God bless.

24:10 They um they gatling gunned them from the sky.

24:14 Have you seen that here?

24:15 They do that here out of helicopters.

24:18 You could do it if you want while you're in town.

24:19 I'll set it up.

24:20 You know I All right.

24:22 If we can do it this way, I would feel I would feel guilty.

24:25 Yeah.

24:24 have been not a sporting way to start hunting

24:26 would be to It's a different kind of hunting.

24:28 Because it's a necessity hunting, right?

24:31 I want to eat what I kill.

24:33 If I kill something, I want to eat it.

24:35 Yeah.

24:35 And the thing about these wild pigs is they're gunning down 20,

24:38 30, 40 of them in a day.

24:39 They're doing them out of helicopters with machine guns.

24:43 There's a bunch of companies that do it.

24:44 There's There's a video of Ted Nugent and this guy named Pigman.

24:48 Pigman is like a famous bow hunter that lives in Texas

24:52 and they It's called Apocalypse Now and they're in a [laughter]

24:57 They're in a helicopter.

24:59 Ted Nugent and Pigman in a helicopter and they gunned

25:02 down like 240 pigs in a half hour pod not podcast.

25:07 Hunting show.

25:08 podcast.

25:09 He's called Pigman.

25:10 Yeah, that's He's a pig killing machine from

25:12 His name's Brian but it's Pigman is his nickname.

25:15 He just kills a lot of wild pigs.

25:16 And but it's a necessity out here.

25:18 Look at this is But do you have to understand how many

25:21 pigs they have out here and the kind of damage that's Pigman.

25:25 And the kind of damage that these pigs do to agriculture, you know,

25:31 they they go through fences and they[ __] up livestock

25:36 gets out and there's a lot of[ __] with these things.

25:39 Yeah.

25:39 Oh, it's crazy.

25:40 Is this the argument for bringing wolves back in?

25:43 No.

25:44 Do not bring wolves against it but I don't understand the What is the most pro

25:49 Is there one sensible argument for bringing back in apex predators to [sighs]

25:55 Well, there's arguments for it.

25:57 You could make an argument for it.

25:59 The problem is you do not understand.

26:02 No one understands what the ultimate result

26:05 is going to be of introducing predators.

26:07 There is a very strong reason why they eradicated wolves from the West

26:11 Coast and from the United States cuz they[ __] kill everything.

26:14 They're super smart apex predators.

26:16 They work in packs unlike any other animal.

26:19 They're very different.

26:21 [clears throat]

26:21 And they kill everything and you can't do[ __] about them and they kill people.

26:24 Also like the in the UK they got rid of them hundreds of years ago.

26:27 This is like they celebrated it and also they seem to be fine.

26:31 Yeah.

26:31 I mean and now these[ __] greenies,

26:33 these softies that really don't understand nature want to bring them back.

26:38 So there's a good argument in some ways that having some predators would help.

26:44 But the predators were slowly moving their way back into these areas anyway.

26:50 Yeah.

26:50 So they never eradicated them from Canada.

26:52 So they would come down from Canada and make their way into Minnesota,

26:56 make their way into Iowa, make their way into not Iowa, Idaho, Wyoming, Montana.

27:03 They had like a small amount of wolves were kind of making their way in.

27:07 Then they reintroduced a bunch of them into Montana in the 1990s.

27:12 Yeah.

27:12 Into Yellowstone.

27:13 That changed everything.

27:14 That changed everything.

27:15 It dropped the elk population by down to like 40%

27:18 of what it used to be which many people argue is actually

27:22 a good thing because there was no predators in terms of like

27:26 like There's mountain lions but mountain lions don't kill that many elk.

27:30 They'll kill one like a week.

27:33 Like families go to Yellowstone.

27:34 Mhm.

27:35 Yeah.

27:35 So now there's just wolves.

27:37 Yeah, but the wolves are not[ __] with the people at Yellowstone.

27:40 They really are just concentrating on the animals

27:42 and they've like really knocked down the elk population substantially.

27:46 But now they have an open hunting season on wolves in Montana

27:50 because the the the numbers got a lot higher than they should be.

27:54 Right.

27:54 So now like I know guys who hunt wolves

27:57 and they go on wolf It's very difficult to hunt them.

28:00 say it sounds more dangerous and pleasant than hunting elk.

28:03 Well, it is dangerous that it is a predator

28:06 and if you do get surrounded by them,

28:08 they decide to eat you and you're out of bullets,

28:10 you could be[ __] But for the most part, they're very difficult to hunt.

28:13 They're very difficult to find.

28:15 They're also very difficult to get in range.

28:17 They're[ __] clever.

28:19 They're clever and once they realize they're being hunted

28:21 and they once they realize that people are a problem,

28:23 they[ __] steer way clear of you.

28:25 What's the ideological reason for wanting them back?

28:27 Just that they it's good to be in a country

28:31 I love Just Just focus on the bees, you know?

28:34 Well, Great flowers.

28:36 There's people that don't like hunting and for people that don't like hunting,

28:39 they want nature to balance itself out.

28:42 So the people that don't like the idea of humans killing and eating animals?

28:45 Yeah.

28:46 They don't like them going out into the wild and killing wild animals.

28:49 So they want something else to kill those wild animals.

28:51 So then they bring in mountain lions or then they bring

28:54 in wolves and then they think that nature's going to sort itself out.

29:00 It's a dumb idea.

29:01 [clears throat] Why is it okay for them to This is the vegetarian

29:04 argument that I never understand is that death occurs in nature.

29:08 Animals are eating other animals.

29:09 Right.

29:10 So we If it's wrong to kill any animals, should we intervene?

29:13 Should we

29:14 Right.

29:14 Should we kill all the mountain lions

29:17 the fox was one of my favorite bits that you ever did.

29:19 Oh, vegan cat.

29:20 Is it a No, was it not fox?

29:22 You know I'm talking about a fox?

29:23 No, it's about a vegan cat.

29:25 Well, it literally is a true story.

29:27 Yeah.

29:27 Like this lady was saying mean things to me on Twitter

29:31 or Instagram and I saw one of the things on her page.

29:34 I went to her page.

29:34 It said hashtag vegan cat and I was like, no.

29:38 And so then I clicked on it and it's all cats

29:41 that look like they've been stuck in a house with a gas leak.

29:43 Right.

29:44 Maybe that got me started searching vegan animals cuz vegan fox,

29:47 I definitely read a lot about after that.

29:49 Yeah, there's people that have vegan dogs.

29:51 They feed their dogs food,

29:52 but you're basically you can kind of get away with it a little bit with a dog,

29:57 but cats are what's called obligate predators.

29:59 They only eat obligated to prey?

30:02 Yeah, they only eat meat.

30:03 That's all they eat.

30:05 That's it.

30:06 They're just predators.

30:07 They're full-on murderous machines.

30:10 Like house cats are some of the most murderous creatures on earth.

30:14 They kill billions of Yeah, yeah, as soon as you die.

30:17 As soon as you die.

30:18 Like cuz dogs will give you an afternoon.

30:20 No, weeks.

30:22 [laughter]

30:21 I thought dogs gave you just a little head start.

30:24 But cats on how starving they are, you know?

30:26 If they If they're starving to death,

30:28 their instincts kick in and they'll eat you.

30:30 But cats just start eating you.

30:32 They're like, "Oh, look, eyeballs." We're yet to get We're yet to get an animal.

30:39 You have You have dogs.

30:40 Mhm.

30:41 You have one dog, two dogs?

30:42 Two dogs.

30:43 And you don't run the Instagram pages

30:45 for these Someone's running the dog Instagram page.

30:48 Yeah.

30:48 Um so, we got a little guy named Charlie.

30:50 He is a King Charles King Charles Cavalier Spaniel.

30:55 Yeah.

30:55 His This is the furthest animal away from wolf that is possible.

30:59 Like cuz they all came from wolves.

31:01 But he's the furthest from wolf.

31:02 He has no He is this big.

31:04 He's adorable.

31:05 like we're in the big week in the stockings and all the I mean,

31:08 you know, I was uh to be King Charles.

31:09 I just give him kisses.

31:12 [laughter]

31:11 He's a sweetie, though.

31:13 That's what they look like.

31:15 Yeah.

31:15 That's what they look like.

31:16 I mean, come on.

31:17 Look at that face.

31:18 They're just so sweet.

31:19 They're so happy just to be around you and they're just so loving.

31:22 And they like he makes sounds like a person.

31:25 Like he was doing something.

31:26 Like he was licking all this water that was coming off of a drain and I go,

31:30 "Hey, stop doing that." And I picked him up and he went, [laughter]

31:34 He makes a heart in that dog.

31:36 Oh, I love it.

31:36 But they don't They don't make me feel sad.

31:38 They're a little dog who look interesting.

31:40 Oh, that's him.

31:40 That's Charlie.

31:41 Yeah, that's Charlie.

31:44 Um And they upset me.

31:47 And the And the long dogs, like the sausage dogs with the back problems.

31:50 Anything that looks like it

31:52 Right.

31:52 It's ready to die.

31:53 No, no, I know what you mean.

31:54 I know what you mean.

31:54 Like a golden retriever is great.

31:56 Yeah, well, I have one of those, too.

31:58 Yeah, it's my favorite.

31:59 Those two dogs are great.

32:00 This is not like a pug.

32:01 They're very active.

32:03 They're really They're They're very It's like a water dog.

32:06 It's a[ __] dog that's just like a house dog.

32:09 They're just like a little love machine.

32:12 Just a little pat.

32:14 He's a sweet, sweet little guy.

32:15 Like he's the best.

32:16 He's so nice.

32:18 He's like so and he just relentlessly tortures my dog, Marshall.

32:22 The big dog?

32:22 Yeah, who's the most tolerant dog on earth.

32:25 He just lays there and the dog The puppy's

32:26 like like biting him and biting his ear.

32:29 He's a year old.

32:31 Okay.

32:31 So, we've had him for whatever, 8 months, I guess.

32:33 Like how How many months they give him to you?

32:35 3 months old?

32:36 Something like that.

32:37 How old are puppies when you get them?

32:39 should should be, I think, 8 weeks old, I think, maybe.

32:42 Yeah.

32:42 So, we probably had him for 10 months.

32:43 He's a[ __] adorable.

32:45 You cannot travel with a dog to Australia.

32:47 You have to get them all kinds of shots.

32:49 Right.

32:49 Yeah, he got in big trouble for that, right?

32:51 I think that was the beginning of the end of that marriage.

32:54 I think it was from the moment he said

32:56 They were happy They were happy until that dog problem.

32:59 But the guy who There was a politician who stopped Johnny Depp,

33:04 who was like he came out and said,

33:05 "We're going to destroy his dogs." And then everyone made fun of him in America.

33:09 But that guy is now doing He's like big in the pop

33:12 emergent populist right in Australia over the last 6 months.

33:15 And he got He wanted to kill Johnny Depp's dogs?

33:18 Yeah, he's a great speaker.

33:19 He was like, "I don't care if you are People magazine's sexiest man of the year.

33:22 Get your dogs out." Oh, why?

33:24 What's the big deal?

33:26 Uh we have no rabies.

33:28 We have We We're very precious about the border.

33:30 That's all we've got.

33:31 His name's Barnaby Joyce.

33:32 He is sick.

33:33 Demanded dogs leave the country within 48 to 50 hours or be put down,

33:37 citing strict quarantine laws designed to protect diseases like rabies.

33:40 But here's the thing, just test them.

33:43 How much does it cost to test a dog Can I Rabies is probably pretty quick.

33:46 Barnaby Joyce drunk.

33:48 So, this was short not long after that.

33:50 An issue with the If you Yeah, Pistol and Boo.

33:52 Yeah, go Barnaby Joyce drunk.

33:53 They caught him on the streets of Adelaide of Canberra,

33:56 which is where the capital is.

33:58 And he was just passed out [laughter] in the street.

34:03 There he is, down the bottom.

34:04 Barnaby Boo, yeah.

34:05 The bottom one.

34:08 Yeah.

34:07 But he's He's just He's just lying on the street.

34:13 [laughter] When was it?

34:14 It wasn't that long ago.

34:17 Joyce but [laughter]

34:19 That man was in the government.

34:22 Good.

34:22 What's wrong?

34:23 It's a safe place [laughter] to live.

34:25 I was walking back to my accommodations after Parliament rose at 10:00 p.m.

34:28 Oh, that's all he was doing.

34:30 Just walking back to his accommodations.

34:32 like him a lot.

34:33 Look, he's just taking a nap.

34:35 He's just chilling.

34:37 We have a strong a long walk.

34:39 Yeah, man.

34:40 Give the guy a break.

34:41 It's kind of weird finally We were the last

34:43 country to have like a right-wing populist thing happen.

34:46 You guys had the Trump and then England is having

34:49 it happen with like in a in a big way.

34:51 It's really starting to swing there.

34:53 It's still swinging right now in Australia.

34:56 And what's What's causing that?

34:57 Terrorist attack was not good.

34:59 Yeah.

35:00 Um and then also running out of petrol really has upset people.

35:03 Yeah.

35:04 Uh we don't have We don't make our own gas.

35:07 We had two refineries.

35:09 One of them accidentally blew up a week ago.

35:11 Do you think it accidentally blew up?

35:13 I have no comment to make on [laughter] What do you think, though?

35:15 No, I think probably someone Seems like real bad luck.

35:19 Seems like it.

35:20 I mean, they would have been doing it at like max capacity.

35:22 Maybe they did it past when it was safe,

35:24 but it's not uh I thought I wasn't going to make it out of the country.

35:27 Cuz they're out of gas?

35:28 Flights started to get canceled.

35:29 Yeah.

35:30 So, I made it.

35:31 We'll see if I can get back.

35:32 And if not Hope you can't.

35:33 Well, I'll just stay in Austin for another couple of months.

35:36 I'm sorry, honey.

35:37 Just we got a last spot for you.

35:40 choice.

35:40 You can work here.

35:42 It is so nice getting to do it.

35:44 It is so nice having a club that no It's like

35:47 there's four cities in the world where you can do it.

35:49 I think about this a lot.

35:51 There's nowhere like In America, there's three and there'd be London.

35:54 That's it.

35:56 That's it.

35:56 what?

35:57 That there's like multiple rooms with lineup shows every night of the week.

36:03 Right.

36:02 So, people can just go and run 10, 15 minutes.

36:05 Yeah.

36:05 And like at a good room with people And get paid.

36:08 And get paid.

36:09 I mean, you need all of those factors to be able to do it.

36:11 And you also need other comics around you.

36:13 Yes.

36:14 This is one of the things that we

36:15 were talking about last night in the green room.

36:17 Like you know, me and Ari Ari Shaffir's in town.

36:20 And we were saying you can't be like the best comic

36:24 in the world and just live in a small town in you know, Cincinnati.

36:30 It's like it doesn't exist.

36:32 By yourself, doesn't exist.

36:33 The comedy doesn't exist in the back.

36:35 it in a little town in Arizona and the pressure seems

36:37 to have driven that comedy club owner right over the edge.

36:41 Oh, yeah.

36:41 Yeah, Stanhope's boy.

36:43 But that guy was crazy already, right?

36:44 Okay.

36:44 I didn't know a thing about it.

36:45 I just saw him give the speech.

36:47 Well, if he's hanging with Stanhope, you know,

36:49 Stanhope tends to collect some people that are on the fringe.

36:53 I'm not blaming Doug Stanhope.

36:54 a different scene, right?

36:55 Like Stanhope, you know,

36:57 was just kind of being out there by himself and it didn't

36:59 even have a comedy club for the longest time while he lived there.

37:02 It wasn't like there was a whole comedy scene there in Bisbee.

37:05 It's like 20,000 people?

37:06 It's very small.

37:07 He knows everybody, right?

37:09 But the Austin thing was very different.

37:11 Like we were stuck here.

37:14 There was There was not a lot of options.

37:16 We could have gone to Houston.

37:17 Could have gone to Dallas.

37:19 Maybe Nashville.

37:20 No what Maybe Florida.

37:21 There was no place else that we were allowed to do comedy.

37:24 Nashville is would be the next one.

37:27 It's really trying.

37:28 Nashville's got Zany's, which is awesome.

37:30 It's a great club.

37:31 Um They have big They got Theo there.

37:33 They've got Nate there.

37:34 Nate and Theo both live there.

37:36 But I don't know how many sets they're doing in town.

37:38 You know, Nate is doing[ __] stadiums.

37:40 He's doing these giant places all over the world.

37:43 And Theo is killing it and he's got one of the best podcasts in the world.

37:47 But there are definitely there are like Nashville comics who are coming out

37:48 who I see around the place [clears throat] who are doing really well.

37:50 Sure.

37:51 I'm sure there's a smaller scene.

37:53 But in terms of like a lot of work, Austin's the spot right now.

37:58 Because there's seven clubs on our street.

38:02 Hold on.

38:03 That's nuts.

38:04 Within a block radius, you've got Creek and the Cave, which is over on Seventh.

38:09 You've got Sunset, which is right next to us.

38:12 You got Black Rabbit.

38:13 You've got the Velv the Room.

38:16 Yes.

38:17 I'm going to count Shakespeare's next door.

38:18 Yeah.

38:19 I'll allow that.

38:20 comedy?

38:20 Um I love the Velv the Room.

38:23 I love I That place been around forever.

38:26 forever and uh is the gay cabaret next door.

38:29 I don't think it's expressly gay.

38:30 I just call it a gay cabaret.

38:31 You like going in there?

38:32 I went there one one evening.

38:34 I was having a full mental breakdown.

38:36 I don't know why.

38:37 Just a classic, you know, Out of nowhere?

38:40 Uh you know, the kids, it's a lot of pressure.

38:42 Maybe the act wasn't working.

38:43 Maybe I've been on the road.

38:44 I don't know.

38:44 And I was down.

38:45 I was depressed.

38:45 And I wandered into them doing their the Esther's Follies show.

38:49 I just sat up the back and I had a pina colada.

38:52 And they were all like There was a magician.

38:55 There was [laughter] just a very camp magician.

38:57 And then they're singing like campy show

38:59 tunes about the Supreme Court or something.

39:01 Like they're still doing SNL style sketches.

39:03 And it was like You know, it was dumb and it was hokey, but it made me so happy.

39:08 Oh, that's nice.

39:08 Just to like have people having a good time.

39:11 Razzle dazzle, smiling.

39:12 There was no bitterness.

39:14 Happiness.

39:14 Yeah.

39:15 And it made me want to fix my act so that I wasn't You know,

39:17 like sometimes I feel I get up there

39:18 and I'm just like screaming and I look unpleasant.

39:20 And these people like You owe people a show.

39:23 Yes.

39:24 I don't think you look unpleasant.

39:26 You but you're just very self-conscious.

39:27 That's all it is.

39:30 sometimes I did the Creek and the Cave last

39:31 night and I did a lot of screaming into

39:34 [laughter] Did you abyss?

39:35 I was like, yeah.

39:38 Another great club.

39:39 __] great great Great Creek and the Cave is a great club.

39:43 It's a fun place.

39:44 When it's packed, it's rocking.

39:47 And you know, there's a lot of good comedy coming out of that.

39:50 But I mean, that's where she was at.

39:51 New York is on the up again.

39:52 New York is finally Everybody that I talked to, all my friends from New York,

39:56 I'll say that there's a lot of clubs opening, there's a lot going on.

39:59 It's It's It's hopping.

40:01 Didn't they just open up an Was it an Improv in Brooklyn?

40:05 Did they open up an Improv in Brooklyn?

40:07 I know that Top Secret Comedy has just like a London club has just moved there.

40:12 Hmm, interesting.

40:13 [clears throat] I don't know how it's going,

40:14 but they're doing like a free model.

40:15 If people They're trying to do They were trying to do a UCB in Austin.

40:18 I don't know if that's still happening.

40:20 The problem with UCB is UCB in LA didn't pay at all.

40:25 Is this Improv?

40:26 No, Upright Upright Citizens Brigade?

40:28 They have some improv, but they do that was like Second City.

40:30 I didn't know.

40:31 They [clears throat] do stand up shows.

40:32 Yeah, but they don't pay you.

40:34 They don't pay?

40:34 No, which is crazy.

40:36 There was a history of that at the store.

40:38 Sure.

40:39 That was the the There was like this big protest.

40:43 What does it say?

40:44 Improv Brooklyn.

40:45 There you go.

40:45 That's a strong zone.

40:46 Well, I was just Yeah, I think Joey said he was going there.

40:50 It's It's a completely new place.

40:51 All right, this I don't know if this is completely correct.

40:54 But this is what I'm saying.

40:55 It's like it's popping.

40:56 Some of them are coming back.

40:57 Some Improvs are black and some are not.

41:00 What?

41:01 Like some Improvs around the country are like just black rooms.

41:03 If I look at the lineup.

41:05 Not saying here You sound You sound like

41:06 a In Cleveland the Improv is just a black club.

41:12 I've done the Improv in Cleveland, I think.

41:14 It's a black club.

41:15 Really?

41:16 I'm not negative.

41:16 I like I like I would like I like playing black clubs.

41:19 Improv in Cleveland It sounds racist.

41:21 So, it's Cleveland is That's one It's close to Kentucky, right?

41:24 getting this right?

41:25 Maybe it's Pittsburgh.

41:26 I don't think there is.

41:26 No, Pittsburgh's not but I've been in that place No, I've done that one as well.

41:29 Improv in Pittsburgh is great.

41:30 That's coming up there as well.

41:32 I'm telling Well, Hilarities was the non-racially

41:36 Go back to that website real quick.

41:38 Look at all the different ones.

41:39 Wow.

41:40 There's not one in Cleveland, though.

41:41 There's a ton of them.

41:42 Is one of those fake Cleveland Maybe it shut down.

41:44 So, the other There's a club in Cleveland.

41:46 There is a club in Cleveland that I went to way back in the day.

41:51 Um but it's really You land in Kentucky and then you drive to Cleveland.

41:56 What?

41:56 Yeah.

41:57 No, Cincinnati.

41:59 Oh, is it Cincinnati?

42:00 Yeah, that makes more sense.

42:00 Okay, that's it.

42:02 You're right.

42:02 to drive out.

42:03 Ohio is more built up than people give credit before.

42:06 Three huge cities.

42:08 They got that chili that they love.

42:10 It's great.

42:11 Columbus is Cincinnati has the most beautiful skyline.

42:14 You ever do the Funny Bone Columbus?

42:15 Yes.

42:16 __] great club.

42:17 Oh, it was very nice.

42:18 That's Does it have a balcony?

42:20 I'm pretty sh- Yes.

42:21 Columbus Funny Bone has a balcony?

42:23 They would have definitely changed it since you've been there last.

42:25 Is it a new one?

42:26 No, not Oh, they just I don't know.

42:27 Has it a balcony?

42:28 renovated the whole room.

42:30 Oh.

42:30 [clears throat] having the balcony.

42:32 They must have had to add seats.

42:33 It was killing it.

42:34 Everywhere that has a balcony is my favorite.

42:36 Once you have a place that's a club

42:37 that gets good acts in every weekend Okay, okay.

42:41 Shut the[ __] up.

42:42 What's that?

42:42 [laughter] They love going to see Eddie Griffin at the Cleveland Improv.

42:45 Come on.

42:45 This is 2020.

42:47 Maybe it closed.

42:49 This is 2020?

42:50 Oh, six years ago.

42:51 know.

42:51 It's like when I typed in Cleveland Improv So, who's that?

42:54 Lou Nell's there?

42:55 And Tony Baker was there?

42:56 Bone is what comes up, though.

42:57 I will not be besmirched for [laughter] making a very

43:00 genuine observation about how black the Cleveland Improv was.

43:04 That's hilarious.

43:06 Cuz I tried to get on.

43:07 I was [clears throat] trying to do black rooms when I

43:09 I got to uh I got to open for Finesse Mitchell.

43:11 That was the first black room I got to play.

43:13 Nice.

43:13 I've slowed down.

43:14 There's not heaps of black rooms in Austin.

43:16 I should go over to Houston sometimes and Yeah,

43:18 where are the black rooms in Austin?

43:20 I think the mothership.

43:22 Yeah, probably, right?

43:23 lineups at the ship, yeah.

43:25 I still I still think Chocolate Sundays could work at the mothership.

43:29 I can't run it.

43:31 You could.

43:31 That would be fun.

43:33 I feel like you should just have shows.

43:35 I think themes are[ __] They tried to do

43:36 an Italian theme at the Comedy Store for a while.

43:40 Like Night of a Thousand Guidos, I think they called it.

43:43 And I did it and I was like, [snorts] what am I doing?

43:46 I'm on this show with all these other Italians just because they're Italian.

43:49 There is something different about a black audience.

43:51 Yeah, sure.

43:52 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

43:53 That's a different skill set, I found.

43:55 It's a different skill set and they they won't tolerate nonsense.

43:59 They won't tolerate all this like what else?

44:01 What else?

44:02 No, no, no, no, no.

44:03 They're not here for that, which I think is good.

44:06 even make fun of gay You can't just You can't mention gay stuff at all, I think.

44:12 Really?

44:11 Oh, man.

44:12 I I had a trans bit.

44:14 Just people were not happy to hear it.

44:16 Like, why is he talking about that?

44:17 Why [laughter] are you bringing that up?

44:20 We're out here to have a nice night.

44:22 It was like on a dime it turned.

44:24 Really?

44:24 Yeah.

44:25 And then people told me afterwards they don't want to hear

44:28 about They don't want to hear that word from you.

44:29 Really?

44:30 Interesting.

44:31 It was uh It was fun.

44:33 If I felt very alive when it was going well.

44:35 And also black people giving you compliment I just an Aussie boy coming

44:38 off stage and have a black [laughter] guy You got a good stage presence.

44:41 I was like, oh,[ __] Thank you so much.

44:43 That's awesome.

44:44 I um Yeah, black people are That was

44:47 That was very eye-opening when I came to America.

44:49 You don't have a lot of that in Australia.

44:51 We have Africans and we have Aboriginal people,

44:52 but we have no If you wear a cool coat in Australia,

44:55 no one will tell you about it.

44:57 Hmm.

44:57 There will be no one to say

44:58 Yeah, there's a very big difference between African Americans

45:02 Yeah.

45:02 and black people worldwide.

45:04 Like African Americans are responsible for so

45:07 much of the culture, music, comedy.

45:13 There's like so much of an impact that African Americans have had on the world.

45:17 Think about just just hip-hop music.

45:20 Yeah.

45:20 Right?

45:21 So, hip-hop music doesn't even exist until I was in middle school.

45:26 Like late '70s?

45:27 Yeah.

45:27 So, I was in middle school.

45:28 I went to high school in '81

45:30 and when was Sugarhill Gang's hip-hop hibbity dibbity hip-hop?

45:35 What was that song called?

45:37 Rapper's Delight.

45:38 So, that song came out when I was I think I was 13.

45:44 I think I was 13.

45:45 I think I was in middle 1979 is when it Yeah, okay.

45:49 Yeah, they formed.

45:50 That makes sense.

45:51 So, when I was in When we first moved to Boston,

45:55 my family didn't have much money.

45:56 We we lived in a place called Jamaica Plain.

45:58 And it's since been kind of gentrified, but that back then it was not.

46:02 It was the first time I'd ever been around scary kids.

46:05 Yeah.

46:05 Like violent, delinquent kids who had all had sex.

46:08 I hadn't had sex.

46:10 All these kids had They're like, you don't even know where a[ __] is, do you?

46:12 I'm like, it's down there.

46:14 [laughter] They're like, you probably think you go right into it, right?

46:16 You got to go up.

46:16 I'm like, okay.

46:18 I don't[ __] know.

46:18 I I never even kissed a girl.

46:20 I was like, what the[ __] are you guys talking about?

46:22 But they were like lighting fires, doing crazy[ __] Like they were delinquents,

46:27 stealing things, breaking and entering.

46:29 Yeah.

46:30 And so, I went to this high school middle school, rather.

46:33 And this middle school was in a poor neighborhood.

46:36 And I remember there was a kid that was in my class.

46:39 I was 13.

46:39 He was 17 years old and he kept failing.

46:42 He kept failing and coming back.

46:44 He would come back for like a couple weeks or two and then he would quit.

46:46 And I remember seeing him at the beginning of the school year and I'm going,

46:50 I can't believe he's 17 and he's in class with me.

46:53 This is nuts.

46:54 And then I was filled with this like

46:55 this sense of dread for him, for his future.

46:59 Like this[ __] guy's never going to graduate middle school.

47:02 So, he's never going to go to high school.

47:03 He's[ __] 17.

47:04 Like will they even allow you to go to high school if you're 21?

47:07 Like what What year do they say you can't come here anymore?

47:10 You failed nine years in a row.

47:13 At some point it was that kind of kids.

47:15 It was that kind of kids.

47:16 And then there was like kids making out in class.

47:20 I remember this Puerto Rican girl, she asked a question to the teacher.

47:24 She said, "If I'm making out with a guy and I'm and he's breathing

47:29 into my mouth and I'm breathing into his, can we stay alive LIKE THAT?"

47:35 [laughter] I I KNOW I KNOW.

47:37 NO, IT'S carbon dioxide.

47:39 I never forgot that question.

47:41 Can we stay alive like that?

47:43 It was the craziest question.

47:44 She was like, can we breathe each other's air and and not open our mouths?

47:47 And I was like, what are you doing, you[ __] dirty freak?

47:51 So, a lot of girls dropped out like while I was there because they got pregnant.

47:56 Sure.

47:57 It was dangerous.

47:58 Where were you before then, though?

47:59 Were you in a more middle class You

48:00 were in a more middle class place before then?

48:02 Yeah, I was in Florida.

48:03 I was in Gainesville, Florida, which was like way safer.

48:06 It was It was pretty cool.

48:08 You may have moved around more than anyone I know.

48:10 I moved around a lot.

48:11 So, I lived in New Jersey until I was

48:13 seven and then lived in San Francisco from seven

48:16 to 11 and then lived in Florida from 11 to 13 and then Boston from 13 to 24.

48:23 Do you I mean, cuz you're you're now Your kids are growing

48:27 up in They were in LA and then they're here part time.

48:29 Do you think I I worry about my kids cuz I've I th- I

48:33 don't think they've ever been in the same house for more than one year.

48:38 Like I have a 7-year-old daughter.

48:39 She's been in seven houses now.

48:41 Uh cuz we've had to move a lot and I wonder what impact that is making.

48:44 Well, as long as they're young, I honestly think it has a positive effect.

48:50 This is my take on what it did for me.

48:53 Um I was forced to form my own

48:55 opinions instead of adopting the opinions of a group

48:59 of people that were around me because I never

49:00 had a consistent group of people that were around me.

49:03 I met a bunch of new people everywhere I went and I

49:06 had new friends everywhere I went

49:08 and completely new environments everywhere I went.

49:11 So, I went from San Francisco in the 1970s right into Florida.

49:17 And Florida was so backwards in terms

49:20 of their mentality in comparison to San Francisco.

49:23 San Francisco We lived in Hippieville.

49:25 It was all like anti-war people and it's San Francisco in the 1970s.

49:31 And so, then I moved to Florida and it

49:33 was like I had this friend, his name was Candy.

49:36 His last name was Candido.

49:38 Everybody called him Candy.

49:39 And his dad was like this really angry Cuban guy.

49:43 And I remember him slamming a newspaper on the table.

49:47 And he was like, "These[ __] want to marry.

49:49 This is crazy.

49:50 Like they're going to let[ __] marry each other." And I remember thinking like,

49:54 "What do you care?" Cuz I lived in San Francisco.

49:56 We're surrounded by gay people.

49:58 Our neighbors were gay.

50:00 My aunt used to smoke pot with them

50:01 and they'd all get naked and play bongo drums.

50:04 Cuz like she felt comfortable being naked around these guys

50:06 who had no interest in that sort of thing.

50:07 it in now.

50:08 I would say having now seen San Francisco bit.

50:11 But that's not It's not the gays that caused

50:12 San Francisco to go down the way it is.

50:14 It's this crazy progressive politics where they

50:16 allow people to camp on the streets.

50:18 I just I went to a diner and I saw

50:20 a man He was wearing assless chaps and sitting on that.

50:22 That upset me.

50:23 Apparently If you're gay, it'd be a good spot.

50:25 The public nudity is your You have to cover the urethra.

50:29 Oh.

50:30 But if you cover the urethra, everything else is fine.

50:32 Oh, so you just like put a piece of tape over the hole?

50:34 eye over the jack eye.

50:36 Nice.

50:36 Maybe you can't call it that.

50:37 You can.

50:38 You just did.

50:39 Okay.

50:40 [laughter] No, but that's So that that would have That helped you

50:42 become more cuz you would have like a weirdly independent mentality.

50:45 That's why.

50:46 Yeah.

50:47 So that I think going to a bunch of different places and seeing that oh,

50:52 people think completely differently over here than they think over here.

50:55 This is weird.

50:57 You know, I remember when I lived in Florida,

51:00 I had to ask my mother what the N-word meant cuz I heard it at school.

51:04 And she got upset with me.

51:05 She goes, "You know what it means." I go, "I don't.

51:07 I don't what it means." And she's like,

51:09 "It's a It's a bad word for black people." I was like,

51:11 "Whoa, really?" Like it made no sense to me.

51:14 Cuz the formative years I think were really important.

51:17 And I think 7 [clears throat] to 11

51:19 in San Francisco was really important for me.

51:22 Because in a way, at least for me, it was a very much a utopian city.

51:30 It was like very open-minded.

51:33 It was very peaceful.

51:34 There was very little crime, like real crime.

51:37 beautiful place in It was gorgeous.

51:39 It was gorgeous.

51:40 We'd I'd go fishing.

51:41 I had this guy There was like this community

51:43 center and this guy named Cliff would take us fishing.

51:46 It was really cool.

51:47 Like there was a lot of like good things about San Francisco back then.

51:52 And there was a lot of artists.

51:54 And there was a lot of like It was a cool vibe.

51:57 You know, it was a It was a very open-minded vibe that was

52:02 A lot of it was centered around the anti-war movement and peace.

52:06 You know, there was a lot It was like It was a different kind of And they

52:09 were sort of just like just getting

52:11 over the psychedelic wave of the 1960s, right?

52:15 So this is like they were still in that mode.

52:18 It was still like an artist-driven Yeah.

52:20 [clears throat] A lot of open pot smoking.

52:22 It was a lot of like It just hippies.

52:26 But But in the best way.

52:28 It wasn't camping on the streets.

52:29 It wasn't There was no fentanyl back then.

52:31 There was no And there's no homelessness.

52:33 Like homelessness was super rare.

52:37 Yeah.

52:37 Like in the 1970s, like when I was a kid,

52:39 I never saw people camped out in the street.

52:42 You never saw any of that.

52:43 You occasionally saw a bum.

52:45 And it was usually some poor[ __] who's It's like a drunk guy, right?

52:49 Or lost his way.

52:50 if you if you look at Dirty Harry or On the Waterfront,

52:53 whenever there is a like a depiction of Like

52:57 whenever they're doing vagrants in the '50s and '60s,

52:59 it's like a drunk guy stumbling around.

53:01 Like in Rambo, he just wants a sandwich and they chase him out of town.

53:04 Right.

53:04 And then, you know, it's it's trouble.

53:06 But now there's like They're everywhere.

53:08 It's like kung fu skeletons moving around the place.

53:10 Like full of drugs.

53:10 Like what is the end point of that?

53:12 No one's running on that.

53:13 I remember Trump talked about a little bit the need

53:15 to have asylums again cuz they closed the asylums.

53:18 Yes.

53:18 Uh I mean, there are more therapists now than there ever were before,

53:21 but they're helping like corporate people.

53:22 They're not helping schizophrenics without a home.

53:26 Like at some point You saw Trump bring the army in to places

53:31 like Portland or the the National Guard to clear it out.

53:35 And I think people were quietly kind of pleased that that was happening.

53:38 Uh there was people pushed back.

53:40 why they cleared it out?

53:41 There was a homeless situation in Portland?

53:42 it was homelessness that they were was protests.

53:45 No, I think that was I think that And Washington as well,

53:48 I think they came in to was crime.

53:50 homeless people.

53:51 crime as well.

53:52 Like Washington was like crazy with crime.

53:54 And they were all kind of happy about it.

53:56 The Well, the mayor of DC was happy that Trump brought in the National Guard.

54:01 But this is not It's not a nice You can't lose the downtowns across America.

54:08 You know how bad LA's gotten, right?

54:10 Uh yeah.

54:12 LA Yes, I do.

54:12 Do you know how big skid Skid Row is?

54:14 Take a guess.

54:15 I What do you mean?

54:16 How many people?

54:17 How many blocks?

54:18 I've no idea.

54:19 Take a guess.

54:20 Two.

54:21 50.

54:21 Well, that's too many blocks.

54:23 50.

54:24 That's That's not a road anymore.

54:26 just completely claimed by homeless zombies.

54:29 No, how big are the blocks?

54:30 I'm thinking about LA downtown.

54:31 Big Big as[ __] away from there.

54:33 It's huge.

54:34 to the Hollywood Hills and Malibu and had a nice time.

54:36 Downtown is nuts.

54:37 Downtown LA is the only downtown of any major city that sucks.

54:41 Like downtown New York is great.

54:43 New York is incredible.

54:44 Right.

54:45 Downtown San Francisco is[ __] with homeless people,

54:48 but it's still you got great restaurants.

54:50 Downtown LA is a ghost town.

54:53 I said Portland Portland is so beautiful in the downtown,

54:56 but then you will turn down the street and it's terrifying.

54:59 50 to 54.

55:00 Oh, it's growing.

55:02 Skid Row [snorts] in Los Angeles,

55:03 officially known as Central City East, covers approximately 50 to 54 blocks.

55:10 15,000.

55:11 Yeah.

55:12 They don't know how many people are there.

55:14 There's just wild guesses in terms

55:16 of what the populations of homeless people are.

55:18 Even in terms of the population of the entire city,

55:20 the high number is over 100,000 in the city.

55:24 It's crazy.

55:25 Look how big it is.

55:26 All that whole area is completely lost.

55:28 a road.

55:29 I thought it was like one street.

55:31 I didn't know was back in like the 1960s.

55:36 [sighs and gasps]

55:36 There's a It's like a map or something they've drawn on a picture there.

55:39 I think it's been that way for a long time.

55:41 Look at this proposed area.

55:43 Affordable housing.

55:44 Affordable housing is just a joke.

55:46 It's not what the problem is.

55:48 They're all drug addicts.

55:49 They're drug addicts and mentally ill.

55:51 Yeah, but what do you do there?

55:52 Well, you can't let it get that bad, first of all.

55:55 And if you do let it get that bad, you got to treat it like it's a catastrophic

55:58 failure and throw as much resources as possible at it.

56:01 But the problem is these people are incentivized to keep

56:03 the problem going because that's how they make their living.

56:06 Absolutely.

56:07 They don't have any motivation whatsoever to fix it.

56:12 Because if the homeless population drops down to like a very small number,

56:16 and then they don't need all these people that are

56:18 making half a million dollars a year on the homeless commission.

56:21 It's complete grifting.

56:23 I I don't I don't have a It's not my country.

56:26 I don't have any big problem with Gavin Newsom.

56:27 You know, I don't understand how LA has Every

56:30 story that comes out of California seems to be Okay,

56:34 so here it says between 1960 and 1975,

56:38 50% of the housing in Skid Row was demolished,

56:40 reducing the total number of units from 15,000 to 7,500 and displacing

56:45 thousands of poor residents with nowhere else to go but the street.

56:49 While Skid Row was never a wealthy neighborhood,

56:51 its current status as the homeless capital of America is the result of decades

56:54 of policy choices which has simultaneously

56:57 encouraged the destruction of existing afforda- See,

56:59 this is By the way, this is a very progressive perspective.

57:02 Yeah, cuz it's a different perspective.

57:04 The real perspective is that what they used Skid Row for was when

57:09 they would find vagrants in Beverly Hills and vagrants in Holly- in Hollywood,

57:13 they would move them to Skid Row and then

57:16 they would kind of contain them in that area.

57:18 So they were right here.

57:19 Yeah.

57:20 Yeah.

57:20 Dumping.

57:21 So encouraging practice.

57:22 Yeah.

57:23 the homeless.

57:23 With homeless medical patients.

57:26 Like other See, this is a very progressive perspective.

57:29 Homeless medical patients.

57:30 How about vagrants who are drug addicts?

57:33 You can call them medical patients.

57:35 Like you're just being kind.

57:37 This is just too charitable.

57:38 From the across the region.

57:40 So they would dump them there.

57:41 And then they also had like food kitchens there and stuff like that.

57:44 So they they had a incentive to stay, but they kept them there.

57:49 And so then it kept growing because

57:50 the homeless problem keeps growing and growing and growing.

57:52 psychosis and drugs.

57:54 That's the ultimate.

57:55 Yes.

57:55 Drugs are the big one.

57:56 It's And drugs are the the drug use in Skid Row is probably 100%.

58:03 It's not like regular homeless people literally.

58:06 and I saw I was I had walked into the train station through the downtown,

58:10 which I No one told me not to do it.

58:11 And I saw all these very sad homeless people.

58:14 And then one guy with a big smile.

58:16 He was so happy.

58:17 Probably got his fentanyl.

58:18 Well, no.

58:18 That's the first time I saw crack being smoked.

58:20 Yeah.

58:21 It has a great smell.

58:22 Smells kind of sweet.

58:23 Yeah.

58:24 Like What what like Smells like sweet, like a rotten apple.

58:27 That's how it felt at the time.

58:29 Huh.

58:29 I don't know if that was the crack or if I mean,

58:30 he was smoking crack and I could smell that, but he

58:32 was so happy and I didn't want to take his crack away.

58:35 You know, it's like he's the only thing you've really got going for you today.

58:38 Yeah, I think crack Obviously we should take it away.

58:40 not good for you, but probably better for you than fentanyl.

58:46 It's all I think with crack, you're active.

58:49 Crack makes you go do a bunch of stuff.

58:52 Yeah.

58:53 [laughter] This is weird seeing heroin people for the first

58:54 time cuz they're not like a threat.

58:56 Australia's still a very meth country.

58:58 We're like Uh meth is a problem.

58:59 It's a lot of like skinny shirtless men on the bus.

59:03 Angry.

59:03 Yeah.

59:03 Crack.

59:04 twitching.

59:05 Yeah.

59:05 So we're still very methy.

59:07 But meth doesn't seem to be as big here now.

59:08 Oh, it's big.

59:09 It's big in certain communities.

59:11 Yeah.

59:11 Meth is still big.

59:13 It's like, you know, what what you've got in ho- I mean,

59:16 the the homeless situation in Skid Row wasn't always fentanyl and heroin.

59:20 I mean, at one point in time it was meth.

59:22 You know, it's it's a gang of different things.

59:24 I'm sure there's people there that are doing ketamine.

59:26 you just start killing drug deal Do you do like in Singapore,

59:30 you just have a zero tolerance policy?

59:33 No.

59:33 I don't know long term what the answer is because

59:35 look, you could do it that way,

59:36 but it would be very inhumane and it would also set

59:39 a precedent for how you treat a bunch of other situations.

59:42 Yeah.

59:42 And that's not good.

59:43 It's dangerous.

59:45 when they had an opium problem in China, they just put them in the military.

59:49 They like give people a new sense of purpose.

59:51 You've got a uniform now.

59:52 We're going to blame someone else for the problem.

59:53 This is Western imperialism did this to you.

59:55 Yeah.

59:56 And that seemed to help.

59:57 Like they don't have a big opium problem in China anymore.

1:00:00 Mhm.

1:00:00 Um also, I don't know how official that is and how

1:00:02 many people they did just kill cuz it's the communist government.

1:00:05 Yeah.

1:00:06 They're allowed to They lie.

1:00:08 They might lie.

1:00:09 They definitely lie.

1:00:10 Although last time I was a couple months ago I was here

1:00:12 and Kurt Metzger was telling me the Tiananmen Square was not all that bad.

1:00:18 Yeah, I don't know if I would have listened.

1:00:19 I didn't do [laughter] enough digging.

1:00:22 From everything he says from a short Google search, I can agree with it.

1:00:26 But I'm sure if I dug down, I'd have more questions.

1:00:28 I haven't seen him actually since I got back.

1:00:30 Is he still here?

1:00:30 Oh, yeah, he's out of his[ __] mind.

1:00:32 He's great.

1:00:32 Most people are still here.

1:00:33 He's the best.

1:00:35 He's been on.

1:00:35 He but he you can't talk conspiracies with him cuz it'll just

1:00:39 kill chain them one after another after another and then 3 minutes

1:00:43 in, you forgot what you're even talking about cuz he's he's moved

1:00:46 on to some scandal in the 1970s with call boys and Congress and

1:00:51 Oh, you expect him about Reagan?

1:00:52 Yeah.

1:00:53 Yeah, what was what is it called the Franklin Is tapes.

1:00:56 Assange was talking to me about Franklin scandal.

1:00:58 Franklin scandal.

1:01:00 Assange was bringing that up last night.

1:01:01 He's reading a book on it.

1:01:02 I want to think that Reagan was a good guy.

1:01:04 I always like I don't think it's Reagan.

1:01:05 I think it's whoever's in his cabinet.

1:01:07 I mean It was Well, he's dead.

1:01:09 He can't He was saying things about Reagan getting pegged.

1:01:12 What?

1:01:13 Who was saying that?

1:01:15 Kurt was talking about that there was a tape somewhere of Reagan getting pegged.

1:01:19 I was like, I don't want to know that.

1:01:20 These guys don't even think the Artemis flight went past the moon.

1:01:24 They didn't?

1:01:25 Kurt thinks there's a secret space program and that this space program is[

1:01:31 __] There's a real space program

1:01:32 and they're using this space program to obfuscate.

1:01:36 It just seems very complicated for people to do.

1:01:38 might be saying it incorrectly.

1:01:40 He knows a lot of things about a lot of things.

1:01:42 then when I dig in, often it seems true.

1:01:44 A lot of it is true.

1:01:45 I don't I think the government is incompetent everywhere.

1:01:48 Mhm.

1:01:49 And if they were able to get that one thing of you know,

1:01:53 building a fake space program to conceal

1:01:55 a truth space program, it seems unlikely.

1:01:58 Yeah, well, do you know the how much money

1:01:59 you'd have to have to run two space programs, one real one and one fake one?

1:02:04 That's crazy.

1:02:04 Just the Nazi real one cost so much.

1:02:07 Well, the Nazi one was real.

1:02:08 Yeah.

1:02:09 Yeah.

1:02:10 That's come out.

1:02:10 Everyone seems Some people are still not aware of it.

1:02:13 I've had conversations with people where they they don't want to admit it.

1:02:17 Where they they can't believe it.

1:02:19 Do you know NASA was run by Nazis?

1:02:20 They're like, what?

1:02:22 You can't tell me about Wernher von Braun.

1:02:24 And they they want to like there's a lot

1:02:25 of people that are like Nats NASA fanboys.

1:02:29 And these NASA fanboys don't want to believe that NASA was run by literal Nazis.

1:02:35 Yeah.

1:02:35 Yeah.

1:02:35 I mean, not necessarily like there were scientific Nazis.

1:02:38 There were Nazis.

1:02:39 Wernher von Braun used to hang the slowest uh the five

1:02:42 slowest Jews at his uh his rocket factory in Berlin.

1:02:48 The Simon Wiesenthal Center said that if he was alive today,

1:02:50 they would have prosecuted him for crimes against humanity.

1:02:53 I mean, do you think that story got out when

1:02:54 he was at NASA and everyone worked a little harder?

1:02:57 well.

1:02:57 There was no Freedom of Information Act releases.

1:03:00 There was no internet.

1:03:02 When Operation Paperclip was first initiated,

1:03:05 they got I don't know what the number is of Nazi scientists,

1:03:09 but it was more than a thousand.

1:03:12 How how many Nazi scientists put this into our wonderful AI sponsor Perplexity.

1:03:16 [clears throat]

1:03:18 [laughter] Our AI sponsor that gives me all my information.

1:03:21 How many Nazi scientists were brought over

1:03:23 by the United States uh for Operation Paperclip?

1:03:27 It's I don't know that there's an official number.

1:03:29 This is what led me to do my research like 10 years ago.

1:03:31 It was this exact question.

1:03:33 Well, but let's just see what Perplexity has to say.

1:03:37 I'm guessing.

1:03:37 I'm better I'm going to guess about 1,500.

1:03:39 Also, I as I'm looking this up,

1:03:41 I will note that supposedly they were split [sighs]

1:03:43 up like evenly between the Soviets and the United States.

1:03:46 true.

1:03:47 Yeah, the Soviets took a bunch of them as well.

1:03:48 know that I didn't know they divvied it up.

1:03:49 Yeah, I I read a book about it um a long time ago.

1:03:54 I I just started getting into the Soviet space program.

1:03:57 It's great.

1:03:58 Oh, yeah.

1:03:59 Like the is it the Venus missions?

1:04:00 Am I getting that right?

1:04:01 Were they Oh, yeah, they got a thing

1:04:02 on Venus and took pictures and sent them back.

1:04:04 But then it was so it was so hot that everything would like 1,600.

1:04:08 1,600s.

1:04:09 Right.

1:04:09 Typically stated about 1,600 German scientists, engineers,

1:04:12 and technicians were brought to the United States under Operation Paperclip.

1:04:15 So, I was pretty close.

1:04:16 Um to reel back though,

1:04:19 I was trying to dig through this article as you guys are talking.

1:04:21 About Nixon getting pegged or Reagan?

1:04:23 Political article.

1:04:24 The plot to out Reagan.

1:04:26 A group of Republicans tried to stymie what they alleged was

1:04:29 a nefarious homosexual network within

1:04:31 the campaign of their own party's standard-bearer.

1:04:34 This is what I made.

1:04:35 He says something that sounds crazy and then you do a search.

1:04:37 You got was trying to pick a vice president,

1:04:39 there's somewhere in here and I'm trying to find it.

1:04:41 It says that someone had a tape of an orgy.

1:04:43 Uh Yes.

1:04:44 No.

1:04:46 Yeah.

1:04:46 Well, didn't Reagan Reagan frequented Bohemian Grove?

1:04:51 Isn't that correct?

1:04:58 Uh I believe he did.

1:04:59 Everybody.

1:05:00 Yeah, a lot of people did.

1:05:01 Right.

1:05:02 But Reagan did.

1:05:03 But you remember what Nixon said about Bohemian Grove?

1:05:05 The faggiest place I've ever seen.

1:05:06 The goddamn faggiest thing I've ever seen.

1:05:09 Have you heard Alex Jones talking about it?

1:05:11 Yes.

1:05:11 Well, Alex Jones went.

1:05:13 Alex Jones told me about it right after he went.

1:05:16 I thought you engaged in a homosexual act with Reagan.

1:05:19 Okay, it was not until a boozy lunch with a man

1:05:22 claiming to have been a long time Reagan associate.

1:05:24 However, the best found what he believed to be

1:05:27 the smoking gun proving that Reagan was controlled by homosexuals.

1:05:32 Bill, you don't understand the problem, the man told Best.

1:05:35 I once engaged in a homosexual act with Reagan.

1:05:39 That's a different time.

1:05:40 Yes, I'm I don't know.

1:05:41 This These are all up until now in this article, these are rumors.

1:05:45 Uh Right.

1:05:46 know that this video ever came out, but there's Interesting.

1:05:51 long article about it.

1:05:52 Interesting.

1:05:53 Yeah.

1:05:55 Interesting.

1:05:57 I was trying to find an answer and I didn't really get to this.

1:06:01 This is a different time period in life

1:06:02 too that I don't I wasn't even alive for.

1:06:04 Right.

1:06:06 Wow.

1:06:08 I don't believe it.

1:06:09 I do.

1:06:10 I love Reagan.

1:06:11 I do too.

1:06:11 I love him too, but I think there's a lot of those guys

1:06:14 that are like staunchly conservative and very

1:06:17 buttoned-down that are that way for a reason.

1:06:19 And one of the reasons is they're trying to hide the fact that they're gay.

1:06:22 I never understand this stuff cuz we've there are lots where I'm from.

1:06:26 Gay?

1:06:27 And South is uh like conservative party.

1:06:30 Definitely gay guys.

1:06:31 But thin but like so like everybody knows.

1:06:34 Everybody's aware.

1:06:35 Mhm.

1:06:35 But they don't want it coming out and they never acknowledge.

1:06:38 But [laughter] like it just seems so strange.

1:06:41 You would want to not have a secret if you're a politician

1:06:44 cuz otherwise people would just get you to do what they want.

1:06:46 Yeah, but they have secrets and then they want to be politicians and then they

1:06:49 just deal with all the people that know their secrets and then they make deals.

1:06:54 But like like there That's how you stay in business.

1:06:57 even say there are people in the United

1:06:58 States Congress and Senate who are conservative.

1:07:01 So, we all got Yeah, that guy's gay.

1:07:03 100%.

1:07:04 Everybody knows.

1:07:05 So, it's you know.

1:07:06 So, I asked for the accuracy of this article

1:07:08 and Perplexity gave me a like summary,

1:07:11 I guess, that makes more sense than trying

1:07:14 to make sense of a 20-page article in 2 minutes.

1:07:16 Mhm.

1:07:17 Okay.

1:07:18 It comes from my phone.

1:07:18 Factual grounding and sources.

1:07:20 One key factual back Scroll up a little bit.

1:07:23 On the No.

1:07:24 Up uh on the key factual backbone,

1:07:27 the article lines up with other publicly documented material.

1:07:31 Uh Kerchik refers repeatedly to memos and notes

1:07:35 from the Washington Post editor Ben Bradlee's papers,

1:07:37 including summaries by reporter Scott Armstrong and Ted Gup.

1:07:41 These papers are held in institutional archives and have

1:07:44 been referenced in other discussions of Secret City.

1:07:48 The 1967 homosexual ring allegations connected to Reagan's Sacramento staff

1:07:52 and Jack Camp's is independently attested in contemporary press accounts,

1:07:57 including reporting that Reagan's security

1:07:59 chief investigated alleged homosexual activity

1:08:03 and that columnist Drew Pearson raised these charges at the time.

1:08:08 The So, here's the thing about gays.

1:08:10 ring.

1:08:10 There's always a certain amount of gay people in a population.

1:08:15 And then it's whether or not the culture accepts them.

1:08:19 Yes.

1:08:20 There's always a certain percentage.

1:08:22 There's yes, people who are attracted to Yeah.

1:08:24 No matter what you do, there's a certain percentage.

1:08:27 And so, if you've got enough people in Congress and enough people

1:08:30 in the Senate and enough enough people just in government in general,

1:08:34 you're going to have an equivalent percentage of people that are gay.

1:08:38 And if you are a person who wants to get to the top of the charts,

1:08:42 like here's the thing you don't think of.

1:08:44 What is You think Hollywood is very open, right?

1:08:49 Very non-homophobic.

1:08:50 In fact, celebrates diversity and celebrates LGBTQ people, right?

1:08:56 Yeah, I mean, openly.

1:08:56 But but not.

1:08:57 So, here's the thing.

1:08:58 One thing you can't be is an openly gay person and be a a male lead in films.

1:09:06 Uh I mean, that would make sense as to why people keep that quiet.

1:09:10 I'm trying to think of one You can't be You're an actor.

1:09:13 You can pretend to be a werewolf, Yeah.

1:09:16 but you can't pretend to be straight.

1:09:18 You can't pretend to be straight.

1:09:20 Yeah, they won't allow you.

1:09:21 So, if you're gay, you have to pretend.

1:09:24 Yeah.

1:09:24 You have to pretend you're not gay because you can't act in a movie

1:09:28 where we know you're gay and you pretend to be straight, we won't buy it.

1:09:31 there is a movie where there is gay person they get it obviously straight.

1:09:34 Like like in Milk.

1:09:36 They don't get a gay guy to play that role.

1:09:38 They get a straight guy to be gay for it.

1:09:39 One example.

1:09:40 Yeah, but that's from that show.

1:09:41 He was never a TV He was never a movie leading man.

1:09:44 Just what's just one example though.

1:09:45 I know, but he's a TV guy.

1:09:47 But then people make allegations about

1:09:48 it's like he's got a It's a cartoon character.

1:09:51 Like that How I Met Your Mother, that's a cartoon character.

1:09:56 Like like straight guy.

1:09:58 Like you don't believe it at all.

1:10:00 Like first of all, he's not attractive like in that way.

1:10:03 He's not masculine.

1:10:04 And the fact that he gets all these hot girls to have sex with them,

1:10:07 none of it makes any sense.

1:10:08 Did you see Gone Girl?

1:10:08 It's just writing.

1:10:09 Yeah, I did.

1:10:10 He where he's playing the He was excellent.

1:10:12 Yeah, he's great.

1:10:13 I wish that movie like eight times.

1:10:14 __] awesome.

1:10:15 I really That helped me work through a lot of trauma with women.

1:10:19 Bro, that movie was crazy.

1:10:20 But the point is like you can't be an openly gay guy and be a movie star.

1:10:24 Yes.

1:10:25 Cuz you won't be able to kiss women on stage.

1:10:27 Can you think of one?

1:10:28 Uh on screen rather.

1:10:29 There's not one.

1:10:31 There's I know a bunch of closeted ones,

1:10:33 but there's no openly gay action movie star.

1:10:41 Well, there were No, actually there's there would be none.

1:10:44 There's none.

1:10:48 There's There's stars who have played played gay people.

1:10:51 guys play gay people.

1:10:52 You know, like um what's his face?

1:10:55 James Bond, English guy.

1:10:56 Daniel Craig.

1:10:57 Daniel Craig.

1:10:58 Knives Out, he plays a gay guy.

1:10:59 Yeah, that's right.

1:11:00 Um Yeah, I was thinking of Milk.

1:11:03 Yeah, he plays a gay guy in Knives Out,

1:11:04 but he's not like making out with anybody.

1:11:05 He just like lives with a guy.

1:11:07 I never I never watched Knives Out cuz I

1:11:08 was so angry at the second Star Wars movie.

1:11:12 I loved It's the [laughter] same director.

1:11:14 Like I was just so And I loved Looper.

1:11:16 I thought Looper was fantastic.

1:11:17 I hated that movie.

1:11:18 I was one of those guys who was like Which one was that?

1:11:23 What was it called?

1:11:24 Uh man, it was not Force Awakens.

1:11:27 It was the one that came after that.

1:11:29 It was um What year is this?

1:11:32 2017.

1:11:35 I'm all over the place with dates.

1:11:36 But don't you think though that I didn't watch any of the new ones,

1:11:39 but don't you think though that when you were dealing

1:11:42 if you're dealing with a Star Wars those franchise movies,

1:11:45 you're dealing with an There's no way they just give you carte blanche.

1:11:51 There's no way they just let you write a script, let you produce it,

1:11:53 let you put it together, let you direct it the way you want.

1:11:56 They have insane amounts of input.

1:11:57 one was so stylistically strange and such a departure.

1:12:01 He was making a Rise of Skywalker is Yeah, maybe it's that one.

1:12:06 Yeah, is that it?

1:12:08 Is that the No, the second one.

1:12:10 Does anybody really give a[ __] about these new Star Wars movies?

1:12:13 Uh not anymore.

1:12:15 But it was you know, it was exciting.

1:12:17 When George Lucas was doing it,

1:12:18 at least he was like We're going to have a Jew alien and a Korean aliens.

1:12:24 It's about trade wars.

1:12:26 And he was like They did that?

1:12:28 Episode one.

1:12:29 Oh man, episode one is a nightmare if you go back and watch episode one.

1:12:32 Which one's episode one?

1:12:34 Episode one is like little Anakin and the pod racing.

1:12:36 Jar Jar Binks.

1:12:37 Jar Jar Binks is like a hugely troubled Like 1999 when it

1:12:41 He's just speaking in a patois the whole time.

1:12:43 But uh I mean it all has to end.

1:12:44 I think I think it's finally winding down like

1:12:46 the Marvel Cinematic Universe seems to be coming to a close.

1:12:50 No, they[ __] back up.

1:12:51 No, no, Marvel's not, but Star Wars they woke They[ __] it up.

1:12:56 Yeah.

1:12:57 They They made it all like this stupid woke message.

1:13:00 was the woke one.

1:13:01 That was the one where it was like It was there were

1:13:03 ladies who couldn't do anything wrong and all the men were worse.

1:13:06 And the ladies generals and the men are all terrified of them.

1:13:08 Yeah.

1:13:09 So save it.

1:13:10 This is nonsense.

1:13:11 It's all It's a These But these woke messages just destroy the actual film.

1:13:17 Like I We were talking about this the other day that a feminist show

1:13:21 that no one thinks of as a feminist show is how is Game of Thrones.

1:13:26 Because [snorts] she turns into a No, it's a completely feminist show.

1:13:29 The women women are all badasses.

1:13:31 Yes.

1:13:32 Every woman Arya Stark, badass.

1:13:34 Daenerys Targaryen, badass.

1:13:36 Cersei Lannister, badass.

1:13:38 Yeah.

1:13:39 Uh Brienne of Tarth, badass.

1:13:42 Kills I mean almost kills the Hound.

1:13:45 They're all women.

1:13:46 Yeah.

1:13:46 The women run everything.

1:13:47 They're beasts.

1:13:48 Sansa Stark, badass.

1:13:50 And a lot of the men that don't

1:13:51 see things coming that don't know how Yeah, yeah.

1:13:53 Idiots get their heads chopped off.

1:13:55 Yeah.

1:13:55 They're[ __] The The The women keep the[ __] civilization

1:13:59 together and they're the the most dominant forces in the show.

1:14:02 Yes.

1:14:03 Yeah.

1:14:03 Sometimes they're lying like that nasty prostitute who hurt that[ __] man.

1:14:07 Yeah, she but she was unfortunate in her choices.

1:14:10 You thought it You think the Marvel thing is

1:14:11 going to keep it I think this at some point to ramp it back up.

1:14:14 They'll have a new one.

1:14:15 They brought back the Russo brothers and Robert Downey Jr.

1:14:18 Doctor Doom's coming.

1:14:20 Isn't it Isn't[ __] Robert Downey Jr.

1:14:24 playing Doom as well?

1:14:26 How does he do that?

1:14:27 Well, you got to see the movie, man.

1:14:29 No, no, no, no, no.

1:14:30 How is he[ __] Iron Man and Doom?

1:14:32 Well, they both have iron.

1:14:34 No.

1:14:35 No, get a new guy.

1:14:37 I know Robert Downey Jr.'s great.

1:14:38 You don't have to kill Iron Man.

1:14:39 Bring Iron Man back.

1:14:40 Don't you have a multiverse?

1:14:42 Can't you pull him back and put him into this current timeline?

1:14:46 I'm looking forward to it.

1:14:47 I just don't like when you have a whole like universe

1:14:52 and you have one guy playing two characters in the universe.

1:14:54 As much as I love Robert Downey Jr.,

1:14:56 he bothers the[ __] out of me as a comic book fan.

1:14:59 They've already had that though.

1:15:00 Chris Evans is in Fantastic Four and he's Captain America.

1:15:04 Who is he in Fantastic Four?

1:15:06 The first Fantastic Four.

1:15:07 No, there've been like four or five Fantastic Fours.

1:15:10 2004, three Really?

1:15:11 There've been so many Fantastic Fours.

1:15:13 You're right.

1:15:13 I never even remembered that.

1:15:15 get that one working.

1:15:16 Who does he play in Fantastic Four?

1:15:18 in the Spider-Man movie,

1:15:19 the multiverse one cuz like they're they bring them all back in the same[

1:15:22 __] movie and it's all confusing and they bring all the bad guys back.

1:15:26 Jamie Fox is in the new Spider-Man and like he was that was old movie.

1:15:29 Do you think they'll be post-woke at this point?

1:15:31 That's I'm I got to watch movies for the first time on the plane over.

1:15:34 I watched like five in a row.

1:15:35 their[ __] money And that's starting to happen.

1:15:37 and then start to come back.

1:15:39 see Begonia?

1:15:40 No.

1:15:41 It was good.

1:15:41 It was Stahvi was in that and Emma was the guy who made the Lobster,

1:15:44 but that was there were problems with it,

1:15:46 but it was like a pointedly like a post

1:15:48 in the in the same vein of like White Lotus.

1:15:51 Okay.

1:15:51 I think yeah, Hollywood is trying to make self-consciously post-woke movies.

1:15:55 I got really annoyed by it and I thought some of it was cheap,

1:15:58 but like I liked what they were going for.

1:16:01 Um I thought the ending was Fun spoiler alert.

1:16:04 I won't No, I won't spoil nothing.

1:16:06 I won't spoil nothing.

1:16:06 But I did I got to I would never have

1:16:08 seen it if I wasn't on a flight watching 57 movies.

1:16:10 American Fiction was like a post-woke movie.

1:16:12 They're like at the moment on Delta flights they're What is American Fiction?

1:16:16 American Fiction is a book about a It's a black

1:16:18 author who doesn't want to be considered a black author.

1:16:21 He just wants to be an author.

1:16:22 He's sick of And then he keeps seeing all these like

1:16:25 terrible black books full of stereotypes that white liberals adore.

1:16:29 So he writes a fake book called My Pathology.

1:16:32 And I think he later changes it to[ __] He's just trying

1:16:35 to like[ __] with people go I'll just write the blackest dumbest book.

1:16:38 Right.

1:16:39 So the white And then white liberals do love it.

1:16:41 Um And it was good It was like

1:16:43 but it's like pointedly like mainstream and indie you know,

1:16:47 big studios are trying to make They're trying

1:16:50 to find some continuity from being woke to now.

1:16:54 Is this That's box This is a mainstream film.

1:16:57 That one looks like it's independent.

1:16:58 It won an Independent Spirit Award.

1:16:59 Okay.

1:17:00 But Begonia wasn't.

1:17:02 Uh But this other movie What What is it called again?

1:17:04 The one you were just talking about?

1:17:06 Begonia.

1:17:06 No, the other one.

1:17:07 Oh, which one?

1:17:07 American Fiction.

1:17:08 Yeah.

1:17:09 So American Fiction's independent.

1:17:10 If that was it might I didn't know if it was independent.

1:17:12 I looked it up.

1:17:12 It made like tens of millions of dollars.

1:17:15 Yeah, but sometimes independent films that catch on make good money.

1:17:18 No, they did a deal with Amazon to make a limited theatrical release.

1:17:22 Okay.

1:17:22 So they they partnered with Amazon.

1:17:24 That's I know that's slightly I don't I don't

1:17:25 know if I would count that as a big studio.

1:17:27 No.

1:17:27 No, if you started it by yourself.

1:17:29 You started it by yourself and then you distributed it to Amazon.

1:17:31 But who paid for it?

1:17:32 Who was the Somebody probably financed it.

1:17:34 The director was Was he the Onion guy?

1:17:37 $10 million budget.

1:17:38 So the thing is if you want to do something right,

1:17:40 you kind of have to do it that way now.

1:17:42 Like make it yourself and then bring it as a fully completed project.

1:17:45 That way you don't have a bunch of people like the Star Wars guy

1:17:48 like in your ear telling you what to do and how to direct it.

1:17:51 Can I I recorded a comedy special years ago for Australia.

1:17:54 Yeah.

1:17:54 And I thought I'd just do it on my own and then I would sell it to the network.

1:17:58 How'd that go?

1:17:59 They said we like it.

1:18:00 It was one of the most embarrassing phone calls I've ever had.

1:18:02 They said that we like it.

1:18:03 It's very white.

1:18:04 It's very male.

1:18:06 I'm like, yeah, it's me.

1:18:07 It's just me.

1:18:08 And he they said, can you go out and find like

1:18:11 find five or six diverse comedians and record their specials as well.

1:18:15 And then we could buy all six of them.

1:18:18 As I was like,[ __] it.

1:18:19 I'll just I'll put it on YouTube.

1:18:20 I could like I've but that was the real request

1:18:22 was would you find find a find a aboriginal fella,

1:18:26 find a lady in a wheelchair, find some Chinese people and then you can have

1:18:29 your one as well and we'll buy all six.

1:18:32 It was uh Yeah, that was probably the end of me thinking I

1:18:36 could work with That was You can't work with people that aren't creatives.

1:18:42 And that's what those people are.

1:18:43 They're a bunch of people that are caught up in whatever the cultural moment is.

1:18:47 Whatever they think that the winds

1:18:49 of The winds of discontent blow the hardest, right?

1:18:52 So the people that are going to get the most upset are the wokies.

1:18:56 They're the ones that are going to complain the most about a lack of diversity.

1:18:58 So to satisfy those people, they'll torch their own art.

1:19:02 They'll They'll[ __] up the thing that they do best.

1:19:05 I mean you can work with totally non-creative people.

1:19:07 This was like uh There's a Frank Zappa line about how working in the music

1:19:12 industry was great when it was just a guy in a suit who didn't care.

1:19:15 And as soon as people had some ideas, it was hard to make things.

1:19:18 Right.

1:19:19 When someone would tell you what to do and what not to do.

1:19:21 it's a profit motive, that's great.

1:19:23 You can work with those people.

1:19:24 Yeah, right.

1:19:26 But there's no pure profit motive people

1:19:28 anymore in in in terms of entertainment.

1:19:31 They're all thinking about the cultural like tone and what you're supposed

1:19:36 to and not supposed to do and what you're being on the right

1:19:39 side of history now and Did you Did you see the Patrice

1:19:43 bit where he talked about how he liked working with mid-level Jews?

1:19:46 No.

1:19:47 "I like mid-level Jews.

1:19:48 I make them the money, they leave me alone." That makes sense.

1:19:54 Yeah, the people that get in your way,

1:19:56 they all think they're doing it for a good cause and we experienced

1:19:58 that like Stanhope and I were doing the Man Show on Comedy Central.

1:20:01 There was a lot of that.

1:20:03 Was there?

1:20:03 Yeah, dude.

1:20:04 I don't even I don't even want to go into it,

1:20:06 but there was Whenever you're like Ari

1:20:08 experienced it when he was at Comedy Central.

1:20:10 I know a lot of people that have experienced it at various networks where

1:20:14 there's always some[ __] executives that want

1:20:17 to impose their and it's always liberal.

1:20:19 They want to impose their progressive values on comedy.

1:20:23 And it's like you can't[ __] do that if you want it to be funny.

1:20:27 If you want it to be funny,

1:20:28 you have to it has to be in the language

1:20:30 and in the mind like from the viewpoint of one person.

1:20:34 One person's unique vision.

1:20:36 One person's unique vision that they think is

1:20:38 hilarious and as soon as you start monkeying

1:20:41 with that, as soon as you start adding stuff

1:20:43 to that, as soon as you start watering it down,

1:20:45 you're going to kill it.

1:20:46 You compromise it, it becomes a candidate for mediocrity.

1:20:49 But how did they Where did they start on the Man Show?

1:20:52 They're like, "Get the girls off the trampolines?" What No,

1:20:55 it was like one of the things was they didn't want Joey Diaz coming out naked.

1:20:59 Okay.

1:20:59 Okay, so we we had an intro and I said,

1:21:02 "This is what I want to do for the intro.

1:21:03 I want Joey Diaz to come out.

1:21:05 He's going to burst through the door naked with Timberlands

1:21:08 on with a baseball hat on and just say,

1:21:11 'Let's get this party started' and start dancing." It

1:21:13 was hilarious and they didn't want to do it.

1:21:16 So this is uh the scene, I guess.

1:21:21 But you did get to put your dick in

1:21:22 Yeah, well we we had to do it two ways.

1:21:24 We had to do [laughter] it their way.

1:21:26 We did it their way first and then when their way was uh was done,

1:21:32 we did it with Joey.

1:21:32 [laughter] Everybody went[ __] nuts.

1:21:37 They all went nuts.

1:21:38 It was awesome.

1:21:39 But it's like they they so strongly resisted that.

1:21:42 That was the only way I wanted to do it and I said, "Listen,

1:21:45 we'll do it your way first and then we'll do it our way." Meanwhile,

1:21:47 that version with Joey was what they used in all the promos.

1:21:50 Yeah, of course.

1:21:51 They used that when they were like, "This season of the Man Show" and then

1:21:54 Joey comes out naked with[ __] blurred out.

1:21:57 Um [laughter] but but you're just going to get a bunch of people

1:22:01 who also want to have their fingerprints on what you're doing.

1:22:05 So they want to they want to somehow or another change it.

1:22:08 Even if it doesn't make sense,

1:22:09 they would have "What if your neighbor is a black guy who grew up with a white

1:22:14 family?" I "What if your neigh" And then they they want to like change it.

1:22:18 And then they have "How do you do How you doing with the black

1:22:20 guy who has the white family?" Like I didn't even add that.

1:22:23 Come on, man.

1:22:24 Yeah.

1:22:24 Come on, man.

1:22:24 We got to play ball.

1:22:25 Like these[ __] want to add their own little[ __] ingredients into the soup.

1:22:30 Well, this I mean it's never been cheaper to make your own thing.

1:22:32 I would have to think.

1:22:34 Never.

1:22:34 You can do it on a cell phone.

1:22:35 You can upload it to YouTube.

1:22:37 And AI is incredible.

1:22:41 Yeah, there's a use for it.

1:22:42 I hope it doesn't [sighs] I'm still uncomfortable about it.

1:22:47 You're you're aboard.

1:22:48 You've You're playing new music backstage.

1:22:50 I didn't I couldn't I didn't pick it.

1:22:51 That was good, right?

1:22:52 It's all good.

1:22:53 It's I find it frightening.

1:22:55 Yeah.

1:22:56 It's White Rabbit.

1:22:57 It's a the Jefferson Airplane version of White Rabbit,

1:23:01 but it's a this bluesy new version of it.

1:23:05 It's all AI.

1:23:06 It's fantastic.

1:23:07 where you can upload You just upload your your music

1:23:10 or someone else's music and it like it does all the mastering.

1:23:13 Beautiful.

1:23:15 Mhm.

1:23:15 It's spooky.

1:23:15 I mean it's the end of It is the end.

1:23:18 It's the end of something.

1:23:19 It's the beginning.

1:23:19 There are technical jobs that are just gone now.

1:23:21 Like That's true.

1:23:23 Yeah, but there's not a lot of Morse code operators either.

1:23:28 I think they should bring it back.

1:23:29 I think the Morse code people are happy.

1:23:31 We need to have coal-powered[ __] locomotives.

1:23:35 Listen.

1:23:36 The Amish, they seem happy.

1:23:37 They got their buggies.

1:23:38 They got their big houses.

1:23:39 a conversation with them about space.

1:23:41 They don't know jack[ __] They don't have autism, so they can't do it.

1:23:45 [laughter] They haven't had their vaccine.

1:23:46 them about butter.

1:23:48 Yeah, they don't have a churn.

1:23:50 I think you're going to you're going to experience great change.

1:23:54 There's not a damn thing you can do about it

1:23:56 and so you just have to be zen about it.

1:23:58 I mean some of the I It's been like

1:24:00 over a year since the driverless cars came to Austin.

1:24:03 Mhm.

1:24:04 And I've been in a bunch of them, the Waymos.

1:24:06 And they're not spreading out across the country

1:24:08 the way that I thought they would.

1:24:09 Oh, they're in a lot of places.

1:24:10 They're all over Los Angeles.

1:24:11 They're in a lot of places.

1:24:12 They're in they're in about three or four places,

1:24:14 but like they should have dis Obviously,

1:24:16 the technology is there that no one should have to drive for a living.

1:24:19 Like it would be cheaper to have the Waymo.

1:24:21 The the technology is there.

1:24:22 They're on the freeway now.

1:24:24 Mhm.

1:24:24 I've never had one problem in a Waymo.

1:24:26 I don't know how many I've been in.

1:24:27 They've had problems here.

1:24:29 They've all got cuz there's so many of them,

1:24:31 they all met up in an intersection and got locked up.

1:24:34 funny.

1:24:34 Hilarious.

1:24:35 Yeah.

1:24:36 There was like a bunch of streets going into each other

1:24:38 and they all came and then no one knew what to do.

1:24:40 not as bad as like drunkenly tea bagging somebody.

1:24:43 Sure, but the thing is don't drink and drive,

1:24:49 not let's let robots take our lives the freedom of being

1:24:52 able to hop in a[ __] car and drive wherever I want.

1:24:55 to take it.

1:24:56 That's the problem.

1:24:57 That's the problem.

1:24:57 The problem is it's going to be Exactly.

1:25:00 Exactly.

1:25:01 Exactly.

1:25:01 They're going to say statistically, you're more likely to die in a car accident

1:25:05 if driven by a normal person than a robot.

1:25:08 they'll, you know, they'll give you they'll offer little bonuses.

1:25:12 They'll say, "When all the humans are off the road,

1:25:15 speed limits are going up two or three times what it could you know,

1:25:18 whatever they can handle.

1:25:19 Their reflexes are better." Well, you know, a lot of kids today are not driving.

1:25:22 You know that?

1:25:22 A lot of kids today are just they're just ordering Ubers and driving

1:25:26 Waymos and I mean I only got my driver's license at like 27.

1:25:31 Really?

1:25:32 Yeah, I was just on buses and then we had a child and I was like,

1:25:34 "I better do it." Now it's my favorite thing in the world.

1:25:36 Wow.

1:25:37 driving.

1:25:38 Did you not want a driver's license or you just couldn't be bothered?

1:25:41 good at it.

1:25:42 My parents were scared.

1:25:44 My parents were like,

1:25:44 "I don't want to get in the car with you." Uh so my brother got so good at it?

1:25:48 I I don't know.

1:25:50 I don't know.

1:25:50 [laughter] I was very like I was uncoordinated until

1:25:54 like I was at a late puberty at 16,

1:25:56 17 and then I became coordinated.

1:25:59 But for a while there Interesting.

1:26:00 Yeah.

1:26:01 I don't know what I got dropped on my head as a child.

1:26:03 you how to You were dropped on your head as a child?

1:26:05 Interesting.

1:26:06 Then I think with like and then in my late teens you dropped on your head?

1:26:09 Fell out of a pram out of a stroller.

1:26:11 Unbuckled myself and I stood up and fell down.

1:26:14 I don't think it had any brain impact.

1:26:16 People disagree.

1:26:18 100% it did.

1:26:18 Big scar.

1:26:19 Oh, no.

1:26:19 You[ __] your head up.

1:26:20 That's why you're funny.

1:26:22 Uh maybe.

1:26:24 100%.

1:26:25 I got the coordination back at some point,

1:26:26 but I like So you really think it affected

1:26:28 your coordi- coordination all the way up into puberty?

1:26:31 Yeah, cuz it was I was able to play sport at high school after I hit puberty,

1:26:35 but only only after puberty and only sports

1:26:37 that didn't really matter if I had all the skills.

1:26:40 So like football, everyone's been doing it since they

1:26:42 were four and they really know how to do it.

1:26:44 So I was just like, "No." It didn't matter that I could figure it out now.

1:26:47 Everyone had 10 years on me.

1:26:48 Right.

1:26:49 But I became an okay field hockey goalkeeper.

1:26:52 Oh, no.

1:26:52 I had one season in the top team as the field

1:26:55 hockey goalkeeper cuz no one wanted to do it.

1:26:56 No one's really trained to do it.

1:26:58 It's just having fast reflexes.

1:27:00 So that was fine.

1:27:00 Or like bad- I became okay at badminton.

1:27:03 Oh.

1:27:03 Cuz it was just me and the Asians.

1:27:07 [laughter] You know?

1:27:06 Like tennis, there was no way to get good at tennis.

1:27:09 Right, you need a head start.

1:27:10 Squash, I could do a little bit, but badminton's a great game.

1:27:14 Met a lot of Malaysians.

1:27:16 did you have a hard time moving your body correctly until you hit Yeah,

1:27:20 like I couldn't catch a ball.

1:27:22 Huh.

1:27:22 Uh And you think it had to do with your head injury?

1:27:25 I Well, I have no idea.

1:27:27 Do you have brothers or sisters?

1:27:28 I have a brother, he's fine.

1:27:29 Is he an athlete?

1:27:30 Uh no, I mean he he was he he also he was younger than me,

1:27:34 so I was in badminton, so he was and he was really good at badminton.

1:27:37 Mhm.

1:27:38 Um yeah, he's a hyper competitive.

1:27:40 He's it was always good at sport compared to me.

1:27:43 He was much better.

1:27:43 But just

1:27:44 I could Like when I came to America and I started throwing

1:27:46 a foot- when I figured out I could throw a football, that was huge.

1:27:49 Is your brother funny?

1:27:51 Yes.

1:27:51 Yeah, he actually he got me into I thought comedy was over.

1:27:55 Uh This is how I met Shane.

1:27:58 Is he took me to go and see Shane.

1:28:00 I was sort of This was I don't know how many years ago, four years ago.

1:28:04 And I was sort of I didn't know what was I'd had

1:28:06 a three-year-old by that point and a new baby on the way.

1:28:09 Uh And just in Australia,

1:28:12 nothing was interesting to me and my career wasn't happening.

1:28:14 And he said, "You should come and see this guy

1:28:16 who got fired from SNL." I didn't know him.

1:28:18 And I I sat in the audience and I watched

1:28:20 Shane perform for three or 400 people in our hometown.

1:28:23 And it I was like, "Ah,[ __] It's back." Like it's happening.

1:28:28 I knew there were a couple people on Net- I

1:28:29 knew like you had Netflix specials and Bill Burr and Louie,

1:28:33 but it was like what These people are grandfathered in.

1:28:35 No one is ever going to be able to come through and be, you know, controversial.

1:28:39 No one in my generation is going to be given an opportunity.

1:28:41 At all?

1:28:43 You just thought that new comedians were not going to make it?

1:28:46 In Australia, I can't I can't say enough how there's there's a like

1:28:50 a there's it's been 20 years since someone got to be successful.

1:28:55 Jim Jefferies.

1:28:56 Never in Australia.

1:28:57 He had to leave.

1:28:58 Really?

1:28:59 Even now, the Melbourne Comedy Festival notoriously will not

1:29:04 work with people who have worked with Jim Jefferies.

1:29:06 What?

1:29:07 That's a black stain on your character.

1:29:09 So if you opened for him, you can't work at the They don't like

1:29:12 you and they're not going to give you opportunities.

1:29:13 That's what people say.

1:29:14 That's what I've heard and I everything Why?

1:29:17 seen leads me cuz he's not their person.

1:29:19 __] him.

1:29:21 They think of him as an extra In America,

1:29:22 he's like a liberal and in Australia, he's far-right dangerous man.

1:29:27 How could he say that?

1:29:28 That's what it is?

1:29:29 That's what it is.

1:29:30 It's his politics?

1:29:31 Oh, yeah.

1:29:31 It's not that he didn't come up through their system?

1:29:34 Uh Well, he didn't come I mean, he just left.

1:29:37 Right.

1:29:37 But he I think um he didn't like them, they didn't like him.

1:29:42 I mean, there are people who have left and not

1:29:43 been part of their system that they've totally gotten around.

1:29:45 But they say what he is is like a manly man.

1:29:48 And they don't like that.

1:29:49 Oh, no.

1:29:50 Oh, no.

1:29:51 No, they want you to be a cardigan.

1:29:53 Excuse me, I won't go on and on.

1:29:55 Go on and on.

1:29:56 It's there's like there was a generation of lost talent in Australia.

1:29:59 Like great John Cruickshank, fantastic.

1:30:01 Where's his show?

1:30:03 Um I could you could name 15 people,

1:30:05 but like There was no opportunities for them.

1:30:08 It was hilariously gatekept.

1:30:11 Yeah.

1:30:11 Um Never good.

1:30:14 No, so I I didn't I just thought So, this is your perspective from Australia.

1:30:19 You never thought there was ever going to be

1:30:21 an opportunity to make it as a comic.

1:30:23 brother likes I had kids.

1:30:24 I had stopped paying attention to the outside world.

1:30:26 My brother had not and he took me to go and see Shane.

1:30:28 He was like, "You should see this man." And it was fantastic.

1:30:32 Um and I talked my way backstage cuz I knew the opener.

1:30:35 Cuz I didn't get to I knew the opener and then I got to meet

1:30:38 him and Matt and then I got to go to Melbourne and open for him.

1:30:41 And then I came then I came to America.

1:30:43 doing any stand-up before you opened for him in Melbourne?

1:30:45 Have you been practicing?

1:30:46 Yeah, I I was doing stand-up around constantly still.

1:30:48 But I would do uh I would just have 50 or 100 people in a different city and I

1:30:52 would show up and make enough money for the flight

1:30:55 and like an extra thousand bucks or something,

1:30:57 but it was like I couldn't pay rent that way.

1:31:00 I Right.

1:31:00 You were scratching by.

1:31:01 It was uh yeah, it was it was struggling.

1:31:04 This is why when we did come to when I got the Catholic

1:31:06 job and I came to America it was all I'd borrowed from everybody.

1:31:10 Like I was in thousands of dollars of debt to family and friends.

1:31:13 How did Arj Barker make it in Australia?

1:31:16 He did a show called Flight of the Conchords.

1:31:18 He was on that.

1:31:19 Um and he was beloved by the festival and he did lots of gala spots.

1:31:22 And we really There's a couple So, it's the festival.

1:31:25 The festival broke everybody, yeah.

1:31:27 So, that controls comedy in Australia.

1:31:29 Yes.

1:31:29 There's a guy called Rodney Rude who's really funny who was before that.

1:31:33 Um Is he in the festival?

1:31:34 He's not in the

1:31:36 [laughter] festival.

1:31:36 He can't be in the festival.

1:31:37 go to like RSLs and thing.

1:31:38 He has great Get out of here, you homeless[ __] That's a great bit.

1:31:42 Okay.

1:31:43 Kevin Bloody Wilson Um but these are like that all the generation.

1:31:47 Yeah, after that though it was So, it's captured, it's gatekept by one ideology.

1:31:53 Like one lady running one festival.

1:31:56 Oh.

1:31:56 No disrespect.

1:31:57 I'm sure she's very nice.

1:31:59 I don't want to talk her down.

1:32:00 I would have loved an opportunity once anyway.

1:32:03 It doesn't matter.

1:32:04 I don't need you anymore.

1:32:06 [laughter]

1:32:08 Wow, that's never good.

1:32:10 It's never good cuz people with that kind of power, they also abuse it.

1:32:12 They they really enjoy it.

1:32:15 Actually not.

1:32:16 You don't have to.

1:32:18 You got hundreds of desperate people who are please give me an opportunity.

1:32:21 I've got that.

1:32:22 I don't do it.

1:32:24 No, but you're a very strange person and you're alone.

1:32:27 Not [laughter] alone.

1:32:29 That's why people love you.

1:32:30 But there's definitely there are casting couches.

1:32:32 Yeah, but you can just be nice and being nice and helping people,

1:32:36 especially talented people, it gives you great satisfaction.

1:32:39 You feel great about it.

1:32:40 It's

1:32:40 Yeah.

1:32:41 It's I always tell people it's really selfish to be generous cuz it feels great.

1:32:45 Yeah.

1:32:45 It's wonderful to help people.

1:32:46 Feels[ __] awesome and it's great to see people thrive and and take off.

1:32:51 It's fun.

1:32:52 It's exciting and then you hang out with them

1:32:53 in the green room and it's just all joy.

1:32:55 I also I don't want to say that they don't do that.

1:32:57 They're helping a lot of people who have a very specific ideology.

1:33:01 Listen, that we don't have that.

1:33:03 Like our ideology is the opposite.

1:33:05 Our our ideology is are you funny?

1:33:07 I don't give a[ __] if you're liberal and funny or like It was very nice.

1:33:12 Brian Holtzman What are we sitting at was on Last

1:33:14 Comic Standing and she was like she's a big lefty.

1:33:16 She's a dear friend and she's going to open for me this weekend.

1:33:19 But uh she was like in New York she was raised in Sacramento.

1:33:23 She went to New York.

1:33:24 She was like a very lefty progressive person and I remember like

1:33:27 even nights at the mothership where she would scream at the audience,

1:33:30 "You're a[ __] fascist.

1:33:31 __] you." Like she was really like back then and they loved it.

1:33:34 People they say lefty lady just like off her nut angry at everybody.

1:33:38 Just if you're funny.

1:33:39 were it was fun you there is no equivalent of that.

1:33:41 No, you just have to be funny.

1:33:43 Yeah.

1:33:43 Like it's all just funny.

1:33:44 Like if you're funny, lefty funny, funny,

1:33:47 Brian Holtzman funny, Tony Hinchcliffe funny, doesn't matter.

1:33:51 Just be funny.

1:33:51 Just work on your stuff, work on it.

1:33:54 Like really put a lot of time and energy into your craft.

1:33:57 Become up with great bits.

1:33:59 When I'm on these flights,

1:33:59 I'm watching like all the official sanctioned like non-Netflix specials,

1:34:03 but some of them are on HBO and some are

1:34:06 on Hulu and it's people who There's a weird way

1:34:08 that audiences Like I'm watching like official mains whatever like

1:34:12 it's not mainstream cuz the audiences are tiny by comparison.

1:34:15 Mhm.

1:34:15 But do you know what I mean?

1:34:16 Like sort of like orthodox comedy sanctioned comedy

1:34:19 in America and the jokes are so mild and so but then the audience is like

1:34:25 It's mostly the lot of women in the audience.

1:34:27 Yeah.

1:34:28 They're all on anti-depressants.

1:34:29 They sound crazy.

1:34:30 They are crazy.

1:34:31 And it's like cheap nothing Uh punchlines Exactly.

1:34:34 and it's just at the slightest my boy [laughter]

1:34:37 I don't know I couldn't even Yay!

1:34:40 Well, it's also it's clap trap, right?

1:34:42 So, you're also reinforcing their ideology so they're very excited about it

1:34:46 because they kind of realize their ideology is very fringe and dying out.

1:34:50 As much as it's perpetrated through Hollywood,

1:34:52 it's rejected by a lot of rational people.

1:34:55 over.

1:34:56 Yeah, it's over.

1:34:57 I was watching I went to a bar last night

1:34:59 and I watched The Tonight Show and God bless everybody involved,

1:35:02 but it's like okay, well this is done.

1:35:04 This is winding down.

1:35:05 This is not a cultural This was the most like The Tonight Show is winding down?

1:35:10 Just in terms of how many people are watching it and like, you know,

1:35:13 going doing a set on a Tonight Show used to be that was it.

1:35:16 Yeah.

1:35:17 You could move tickets on the road on Johnny Carson

1:35:19 and now people are going that's his 15th Tonight Show appearance.

1:35:22 [laughter] It's like kind of died out even before then.

1:35:24 Like the impact of the Jay Leno sets,

1:35:26 like if you did a set on Jay Leno's Tonight Show,

1:35:28 it didn't have nearly the impact that Johnny Carson did.

1:35:31 And that's just because by then there was so many channels.

1:35:34 Yeah.

1:35:34 So, when Johnny Carson was on The Tonight Show,

1:35:37 there was three channels in the country.

1:35:39 Yeah.

1:35:39 You know?

1:35:40 Yeah.

1:35:40 That's how crazy it was.

1:35:41 And then slowly but surely cable came around, Fox came around,

1:35:46 all these other networks and then everything just expanded

1:35:49 and now you have streaming and now it's insane.

1:35:50 Now the numbers are absolutely at the end of Carson for that?

1:35:54 Yeah, I believe so.

1:35:55 Okay.

1:35:55 I believe by the time Jay Leno came around,

1:35:58 like when did Jay Leno first start hosting The Tonight Show?

1:36:01 Let's guess.

1:36:01 Early '90s?

1:36:03 Yeah.

1:36:03 Mid-'90s, '94.

1:36:04 Probably.

1:36:05 So, that was right around the time cable was coming out.

1:36:07 Yeah.