Mariska Hargitay Can Kick Conan's Ass | Late Night with Conan O’Brien

0:00 [applause]

0:01 All right, everybody.

0:02 We are back.

0:03 Let's just quickly check in with the robot on the toilet.

0:05 I understand he's near the Lincoln Tunnel, I believe.

0:07 Can we just see where he is, Liz?

0:10 I don't see him.

0:12 There we go.

0:13 Terrific.

0:14 All right.

0:14 It's nice to [music] know that he's

0:17 [applause]

0:19 He's going to be just fine.

0:21 All right.

0:22 That's right.

0:23 I went to college.

0:24 Okay.

0:26 [laughter]

0:26 Ladies and gentlemen,

0:26 after making numerous appearances on ER or Ur, as we call it,

0:30 uh my next guest moved on to star in the hit new series Law& Order:

0:34 Special Victims Unit, which is a spin-off of Law& Order.

0:37 Please welcome Mariska Hargitay.

0:41 [applause] [cheering] [cheering] [applause] [cheering] [applause]

1:00 Hello, everybody.

1:01 That is uh uh John, if you had dressed like this

1:05 I didn't know you were going to wear Fruit Roll-Ups.

1:10 I'm excited about that.

1:11 Good.

1:12 That's good.

1:12 It's very nice.

1:14 [cheering] [applause]

1:15 It just makes me mad cuz John and I we spoke before

1:18 the show and he said that we were going to wear the same thing.

1:20 So, I think it's I'm just wearing it underneath.

1:23 Okay.

1:23 It's very It's beautiful what you are wearing.

1:24 Thank you for coming by.

1:25 Thank you so much.

1:26 to have you here.

1:27 I can't believe you just said the thing about Ur.

1:29 Yeah.

1:29 Because my grandmother,

1:31 who's 95 years old when I was on the show every day would go "How's Ur?" to me.

1:37 And so, it just

1:38 I have the sense of humor of a 95-year-old woman.

1:40 You remind me of her.

1:41 I kill with old people.

1:43 If I could get the rest of America Oh my gosh.

1:47 [gasps] Back to the interview.

1:47 Uh your name Your name Mariska.

1:49 Now, I have an odd name.

1:50 I was I was beaten as a child because of my name.

1:52 Mariska is very unusual.

1:54 It's very Yes, it is.

1:56 Is it Is this I mean, is other people in your family have odd names?

1:59 Nobody else in the world thinks it's weird.

2:00 I don't know why you do.

2:01 That's so weird.

2:02 Uh Mariska No, no, no.

2:06 I bet a 95-year-old woman would agree with me that it's odd.

2:09 Let me tell you about my 95-year-old grandmother.

2:11 She doesn't like Mariska.

2:12 She calls me Maria.

2:13 Oh.

2:14 Okay, so that that's about her.

2:15 My name [laughter] I I keep bringing it back to my grandmother.

2:19 you're but you're Your name is Mariska.

2:20 You have a brother with an odd name, right?

2:22 My name is Mariska.

2:23 My brother's name is Zoltan.

2:25 No, it is not.

2:26 Yes, it is.

2:26 What What are you talking Oh, I swear to god.

2:29 How's his overthrow of Earth going?

2:32 Is that Is that working out for him?

2:34 Well Zoltan, you have DISPLEASED THE COUNCIL OF NINE.

2:38 [laughter] MARISKA AND I HAVE BEEN HERE FOR 9 YEARS.

2:41 They're onto our Fruit Roll-Up pants.

2:44 That explains so much now.

2:45 The outfit, everything.

2:47 You know what?

2:47 What do I do?

2:48 Where do I go?

2:49 Andy, help me out here.

2:51 I say booze it up.

2:54 Yeah.

2:53 Cut the sauce?

2:54 Uh but his name is really Zoltan.

2:56 His name is really Zoltan and his whole life people have asked

2:59 Oh, I'm sorry.

3:00 Please, sweetheart.

3:02 I thought he had a dumb name.

3:03 [laughter] Uh No, it's Zoltan.

3:06 It's Hungarian and it's a big like macho name in Hungary.

3:08 cool I would not mess with a guy like You know,

3:10 if someone said you're to fight someone tomorrow, I'd be like, "Okay, let's go.

3:12 What is his name?" He is Zoltan.

3:15 I would not show up for the fight.

3:18 Exactly.

3:18 Or Mariska.

3:19 No, I'd fight Mariska.

3:20 You would?

3:21 Yeah.

3:21 Cuz I could kick your ass.

3:22 I know you could.

3:23 I brought the leather pants.

3:25 Later.

3:25 But that's a sex crime.

3:26 No, wait a minute.

3:28 Now, let's talk about I really like your be on my show.

3:30 I think you should be on my show because

3:31 going to really help the ratings on your show.

3:33 I feel like you're one big sex crime waiting to happen.

3:37 I do.

3:38 Compliment, insult, who knows?

3:39 I What does that mean?

3:43 It means so many things.

3:44 your planet it makes sense, I'm sure.

3:46 Zoltan will beam in.

3:48 Uh you uh you know, I I actually met you.

3:51 How long ago was it?

3:51 It was like three or four months ago.

3:53 You did.

3:53 at the Upfronts.

3:55 At NBC upfront.

3:56 That's where they you know, talk about all the new NBC shows and everyone

3:58 gets together and I met you and you said

4:00 said that you were going to find me an apartment.

4:03 Because I told you that I was a girl

4:04 from California and I was the new kid in town.

4:06 And you said, "Oh, I know everybody.

4:07 I'll find you an apartment."

4:08 "Do you want to SEE MY APARTMENT?" I KNEW I MISSED SOMETHING.

4:14 YEAH.

4:15 I'm sorry.

4:15 Remember then I yawned and put my arm around you?

4:18 And you maced me, remember?

4:19 I'm sorry.

4:20 And then Zoltan appeared.

4:23 [laughter] Uh but but did you find an apartment?

4:26 I found It's very hard in the city right now.

4:28 I had to have an interview to get my apartment, by the way.

4:30 We don't do that where I'm from.

4:32 But it was so amazing.

4:33 I found the greatest apartment.

4:35 And being from California and everyone's so

4:37 friendly and everything and people warned me about,

4:39 "Oh, New Yorkers are different.

4:40 It takes a lot of time to get to know them." I moved into this neighborhood.

4:44 The day I moved in, I fell in love

4:46 with all my neighbors and they me, from what I gather.

4:49 Gave them my keys.

4:50 They make me dinner every night.

4:52 My My neighbor Deb, who I love more than life itself, takes all my deliveries,

4:56 makes me dinners, bought me took me to buy my TV, takes me shopping.

5:00 They have a party every Monday night with my show.

5:01 kind of scam they're pulling, first of all.

5:04 That's not really happening in New York.

5:05 And wait a minute.

5:06 Let me guess, it's primarily guys who are being really friendly.

5:09 I just take a wild stab.

5:11 I don't even wear dry cleaning.

5:13 even wear the Fruit Roll-Up pants at night there.

5:15 Really?

5:15 No, but still I would think it's a lot of guys being nice to you.

5:18 You're going to be treated a little better than the rest of us.

5:20 I just think so.

5:21 York.

5:21 I love the New Yorkers.

5:22 All right.

5:23 than people in California.

5:25 I do.

5:27 [applause]

5:26 I'M SURE.

5:30 AMERICA, GREATEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD.

5:35 [cheering]

5:35 WAIT, YOU KNOW WHAT?

5:37 [applause] THAT'S AMAZING that that got lukewarm applause.

5:41 [laughter]

5:41 Um Law& Order: Special Victims Unit.

5:43 This is on Mondays at 9:00.

5:45 Mondays at 9:00.

5:47 And it's a um it's a spin-off of Law& Order.

5:49 It is.

5:50 Uh Which is You're You're quick.

5:52 I tell you, you are quick the way you put that together.

5:55 Don't mess with me.

5:55 I won't.

5:56 Okay, that's a big mistake.

5:58 Cuz when I get my 95-year-old friends together Uh and it's also What What is it?

6:03 It's on 9:00 on NBC.

6:04 It's on 9:00.

6:05 Mondays at 9:00, but it's also on 11:00 on USA on Sunday nights.

6:09 I don't understand that.

6:10 How does that work?

6:11 They show it on NBC and then they immediately start showing it on USA.

6:14 Well, they show it on NBC on Mondays and then 2 weeks later on that Sunday,

6:17 they they they show that episode.

6:19 So, it's like 2 weeks later it's a repeat of 2 weeks ago.

6:22 Okay.

6:22 And this is All right, very cool.

6:24 though.

6:24 It's a good thing.

6:25 paid twice, probably, right?

6:26 This means get paid, by the way.

6:28 Okay.

6:30 Didge.

6:29 All right.

6:29 Well, Mariska Hargitay, I'm saying it right?

6:33 Okay, perfect.

6:33 Thank you very much for stopping by.

6:35 My best to your brother.

6:36 I will fight him soon.

6:37 Zoltan, I'm going to tell He's going to be happy about this.

6:39 Yeah, very cool.

6:39 He'll be embarrassed.

6:40 Mariska Hargitay, everybody.

6:41 We'll take a break.

6:42 When we come back, the Paul Colman Band.