Weekend Update: A Guy and His Girlfriend Who’s Always Cold on Dating App Fatigue - SNL
Saturday Night Live
0:01 -A new "Forbes" poll indicates
0:02 dating-app fatigue is growing
0:04 among many U.S.
0:05 singles, with many seeking to meet partners offline.
0:07 Here with more on this are a guy
0:09 and his girlfriend who's always cold.
0:13 -Hey.
0:14 -Hey.
0:15 Cheers and applause] -Wow.
0:18 So people are experiencing dating-app fatigue?
0:20 -Yeah, exactly.
0:22 Now, obviously you know nothing about dating apps
0:25 'cause you ain't meeting a dime like your wife on Bumble.
0:28 Am I right?
0:30 Pound that, dude.
0:32 That's incredible.
0:34 Laughter] Incredible.
0:36 Incredible!
0:39 -Yeah.
0:40 So, uh, cool.
0:41 H-How did you guys meet?
0:43 -Oh, we actually met through the ancient art
0:46 of mutual friends, but I honestly think
0:49 that's why we're still together after a year.
0:51 It's 'cause our initial connection
0:53 came from a real place.
0:55 -Yeah.
0:55 It's freezing in here.
0:57 Right?
0:58 -Yeah.
0:58 I told you to wear a jacket, but you didn't want to.
1:01 -'Cause I like my outfit.
1:03 Sorry.
1:03 It's, like, so cold.
1:04 -Alright.
1:04 Here.
1:05 Take my jacket.
1:05 I asked.
1:06 I said, "You want to take a jacket?"
1:08 -Are you sure?
1:08 -And you said, "No."
1:09 Yes, yes, I'm sure.
1:10 -You're gonna be so cold.
1:11 -I'm not gonna be cold!
1:12 'Cause it's not that cold.
1:13 Just take my jacket, please.
1:14 -It's a little cold.
1:14 Okay.
1:15 -Take my jacket, please.
1:16 -Thank you!
1:16 Is that better?
1:18 -Yeah.
1:18 -Alright.
1:18 You're not cold?
1:19 -No.
1:19 -Alright.
1:20 So, people lie on their profiles.
1:22 They use filters on their pictures.
1:24 -I'm cold.
1:25 -Alright.
1:25 Here!
1:26 Take my hoodie.
1:27 Take my hoodie!
1:29 Sorry.
1:29 Sorry.
1:30 I do this every day.
1:32 I do this every single day!
1:34 I do this every day!
1:37 -It's really cold.
1:38 -Sorry.
1:39 Sorry.
1:39 -Thank you.
1:41 Good.
1:42 This is what the people on the "Titanic"
1:44 must have felt like in the water.
1:45 -It's not at all like that.
1:47 Not at all like that.
1:48 -No, it is.
1:49 -It's not.
1:49 -Look.
1:50 No.
1:50 Look.
1:50 Exhales sharply] -You can't— -You can see my breath.
1:53 Look.
1:53 -You can't.
1:54 -Watch.
1:55 -You can't see your breath!
1:56 -It's like I'm smoking.
1:57 -Are you still cold?!
1:58 Do you want my shirt, too?!
1:59 -Yeah.
2:00 -Fine.
2:00 Oh, this is awkward.
2:01 I have a tattoo of your wife, and I'm sorry.
2:04 Laughter] I'm a fan.
2:16 I'm a fan.
2:17 I got it before you were married.
2:18 -He's a huge fan.
2:20 -I didn't know I'd be taking my shirt off, baby!
2:22 -I'm really cold!
2:23 -Just take my shirt!
2:24 -Thank you.
2:25 -Look at me!
2:28 How are you still shivering?!
2:30 -I'm cold.
2:31 -With more layers!
2:32 -My feet.
2:33 -I can't do it anymore.
2:34 I'm going crazy.
2:35 I love you, but you're never not cold.
2:37 -Sorry.
2:38 -Heat.
2:38 Heat at max!
2:40 Any room we sleep in.
2:42 Any season.
2:43 Any region.
2:44 Any climate!
2:45 I'm so hot at night!
2:47 -Just, like, literally— literally feel my hands.
2:50 They're like icicles.
2:51 -Oh, my— I can't do this.
2:53 We have to break up!
2:54 But she's so pretty!
2:55 I'll never do better than her!
2:58 Alright.
2:58 Fine.
2:58 I can't leave.
2:59 I can't leave her.
3:01 -Sorry.
3:01 I'm not crying.
3:02 It's just my eyes water
3:03 when it's, like, really cold.
3:04 -Okay.
3:05 What else do you want?!
3:06 You want my pants?!
3:06 It's all I have left!
3:08 I'm gonna take off my pants
3:10 in front of Colin Jost and Michael Che!
3:14 Don't look at me!
3:16 -Hurry!
3:17 -Don't look at me!
3:19 -Hurry!
3:20 -Don't look at me!
3:21 -Hurry, hurry!
3:22 -This is my life!
3:23 -Thank you.
3:24 It's like my butt's cold.
3:27 See?
3:28 You are cold!
3:31 -A guy and his girlfriend who's always cold, everyone.
3:34 -What do you want from me?!
3:36 For "Weekend Update," I'm Colin Jost.
3:38 -I'm Michael Che.
3:39 Good night.
3:39 -Good night.
3:40 Cheers and applause]♪♪