20 Times Sheldon Forgot Leonard Was Not an NPC

0:00 Sheldon, why is this letter in the

0:02 trash?

0:03 Well, there's always the possibility

0:04 that a trash can spontaneously formed

0:06 around the letter, but AAM's razor would

0:09 suggest that someone threw it out.

0:12 It's from the Institute for Experimental

0:13 Physics.

0:14 They want us to present our

0:15 paper on the properties of super solids

0:17 at the topical conference on Bose

0:18 Einstein condensates.

0:20 I know.

0:21 I read it before I threw it out.

0:23 Okay, if I may drill down to the bedrock

0:25 of my question, why did you throw it

0:27 out?

0:28 Because I have no interest in

0:29 standing in the rose room of the

0:30 Pasadena Marriott in front of a group of

0:32 judgmental strangers who wouldn't

0:34 recognize true genius if it were

0:36 standing in front of them giving a

0:37 speech which if I were there it would

0:39 be.

0:41 I don't know Sheldon.

0:42 Those topical conference on Bose Einstein condensates

0:44 parties are legendary.

0:46 Forget the parties.

0:48 Forget the parties.

0:49 What a nerd.

0:52 Are there any other honors I've gotten

0:54 that I don't know about?

0:55 Did UPS drop off a Nobel Prize with my name on it?

0:58 Leonard, please don't take this the

0:59 wrong way, but the day you win a Nobel

1:00 Prize is the day I begin my research on

1:02 the drag coefficient of tassels on

1:04 flying carpets.

1:07 The only thing missing from that insult

1:09 was your mama.

1:12 I got one.

1:12 Hey, Leonard.

1:13 Your mama's research methodology is so flawed.

1:15 Shut up, Howard.

1:18 Sheldon, we have to do this.

1:19 No, we don't.

1:20 We have to take in

1:21 nourishment, expel waste, and inhale

1:23 enough oxygen to keep our cells from

1:24 dying.

1:25 Everything else is optional.

1:27 Okay, let me put it this way.

1:28 I'm doing it.

1:29 You can't.

1:30 I'm the lead author.

1:32 Come on.

1:32 The only reason you're the lead

1:34 author is because we went

1:35 alphabetically.

1:36 I let you think we went alphabetically

1:37 to spare you the humiliation of dealing

1:39 with the fact that it was my idea.

1:40 Not to put too fine a point on it, but I was

1:43 throwing you a bone.

1:45 You're welcome.

1:46 Excuse me.

1:47 I designed the experiment to

1:48 prove the hypothesis.

1:50 It doesn't need proving.

1:51 Well, so the entire scientific community

1:53 is just supposed to take your word.

1:55 They're not supposed to, but they

1:56 should.

1:58 All right.

1:58 I don't care what you say.

2:00 I'm going to the conference and I'm

2:01 presenting our findings.

2:02 And I forbid it.

2:05 You forbid it.

2:06 If I'm not taking credit for our work,

2:08 then nobody is.

2:09 So, you admit that it's our work?

2:11 No.

2:11 Once again, I'm throwing you a bone.

2:14 And once again, you are welcome.

2:19 Oh, no he didn't.

2:22 Leonard, I don't mean to alarm you, but

2:24 the Chinese food smells funny.

2:26 That's because it's barbecue.

2:29 But it's Chinese food night.

2:31 I picked it.

2:32 You're the one who told me

2:33 to stop being such a satisficer all the

2:34 time.

2:35 What?

2:35 I did not.

2:36 I just pointed out that

2:38 you were one.

2:38 It's what I like best

2:39 about you.

2:41 Well, that and those little

2:42 notes you leave in my lunch.

2:45 I leave those.

2:48 Well, that's disappointing.

2:50 I already know that you heart me.

2:51 Now I don't know

2:52 if Leonard does.

2:54 Well, this is what we're having for

2:55 dinner.

2:55 You can eat it or not.

2:56 I don't care.

2:58 I guess that answers the heart question.

3:01 It's fine.

3:01 We'll have barbecue.

3:02 Oh,

3:03 of course.

3:03 I am nothing if not flexible.

3:05 I am sure that at some point in the

3:07 3,000-year history of the Chinese

3:09 Empire, a cavalry man crossing the Gobi

3:11 Desert was forced by hunger to eat his

3:13 own horse and roasted over a campfire,

3:15 hence Chinese barbecue.

3:17 Let's eat.

3:19 Did you I'm sorry.

3:21 I didn't watch the

3:22 news today.

3:22 Has the whole world gone

3:24 mad?

3:26 It's my house.

3:27 I'm tired of being told

3:28 where I can and can't sit.

3:31 You did this, Amy.

3:34 Grab your meat.

3:35 We're leaving in a

3:35 huff.

3:39 I'm sorry if I don't go now.

3:40 It's not a huff.

3:41 So,

3:45 don't take this the wrong way.

3:46 But that was even more exciting than the sex.

3:50 Don't take this the wrong way.

3:52 But yes, it was.

4:06 I knew it.

4:11 Give us the precious.

4:14 Give it to me.

4:15 Get off OF ME.

4:16 GIVE ME THE BREAK.

4:16 IT'S MINE.

4:18 Got to go back to dating dumb guys from

4:20 the gym.

4:21 Give me the Give it to me.

4:23 Give me the Give it to me.

4:25 Okay.

4:25 I got to I I I I just I got to

4:27 ask.

4:29 What makes you think that your

4:31 relationship is so wonderful and ours

4:33 isn't?

4:34 For starters, we enjoy spending time

4:37 together.

4:42 So do we.

4:43 And I've seen you guys ignore

4:44 each other for hours doing totally

4:46 different things.

4:47 It's called parallel play.

4:51 Yeah, toddlers do that.

4:53 Not as well as we do.

4:57 You believe this guy has to be the best

4:58 at everything?

4:59 So what?

5:00 Why do you even care?

5:01 Oh, listen to them.

5:03 Not even married and

5:04 the honeymoon's over.

5:07 Whatever.

5:07 You can't even go on a date

5:08 without checking your relationship

5:10 agreement.

5:11 If you've got a problem basing a

5:13 relationship on a contract, I'd like to

5:15 tell you about 13 pluckucky colonies

5:18 that entered a relationship agreement

5:20 called the US Constitution.

5:23 And it may not be cool to say so, but I

5:25 think that love affair is still pretty

5:26 hot today.

5:30 It's a good thing I'm not wearing flag

5:32 underwear right now, cuz there's about

5:33 to be a fire.

5:38 You went first after only two weeks.

5:40 That's bold.

5:42 It's not bold.

5:43 It's a mistake.

5:44 I didn't change my status.

5:46 Well, then who did?

5:52 I had no choice.

5:54 He cried in front of

5:55 her.

5:57 You hacked my Facebook account.

5:59 Oh, it's hardly hacking when you use the same

6:02 password for everything.

6:03 Call.

6:05 Are you insane?

6:07 Now she's going to think

6:08 I'M DESPERATE.

6:09 YOU'VE DESTROYED THIS RELATIONSHIP.

6:11 And you want to know the

6:12 WORST PART IS YOU DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND

6:14 WHAT YOU DID WRONG BECAUSE you can't

6:16 conceive of something THAT YOU ARE NOT

6:18 AN EXPERT IN.

6:20 in which I am not.

6:21 Don't even don't want to hear another word out of

6:27 you.

6:31 What's wrong, Lassie?

6:32 Timmy fall down the well.

6:38 Oh, wow.

6:39 She just updated her Facebook

6:40 status.

6:42 Stephanie Barnett is in a relationship

6:44 with Leonard Hoffsteader.

6:48 Really?

6:51 Oh, look at that.

6:52 I have a girlfriend.

6:55 If I'm permitted to speak again, Dr.

6:57 Sheldon Cooper for the win.

7:00 Are there any questions?

7:02 Yeah.

7:02 What the hell was that?

7:07 Any other questions?

7:09 Dr.

7:09 Sheldon Cooper here.

7:10 I am the lead

7:11 author of this particular paper.

7:15 Thank you.

7:17 And you, sir, you have completely

7:20 skipped over the part where I was

7:21 walking through the park and I saw these

7:23 children on a merrygoround, which

7:25 started me thinking about the moment of

7:27 inertia in gases like helium at

7:29 temperatures approaching absolute zero.

7:31 I didn't skip it.

7:31 It's just an anecdote.

7:32 It's not science.

7:34 Oh.

7:34 Oh, I see.

7:34 It was the apple falling

7:36 on Newton's head.

7:37 Was that just an

7:37 anecdote?

7:38 You are not Isaac Newton.

7:39 No, no, that's true.

7:40 Gravity would have been apparent to me without the apple.

7:43 You could not possibly be that arrogant.

7:45 You continue to underestimate me, my

7:47 good man.

7:48 Look, if you weren't happy with my

7:50 presentation, then maybe you should have

7:51 given it with me.

7:52 As I've explained repeatedly, unlike

7:54 you, I don't need validation from lesser

7:56 minds.

7:57 No offense.

7:58 Really?

7:58 So, why did you come?

7:59 Because I knew you'd SCREWED THIS UP.

8:01 MAYBE I didn't go to college when I was

8:03 11 like you.

8:04 Maybe I got my doctorate at

8:06 24 instead of 16.

8:07 But you are not the

8:08 only person who is smarter than everyone

8:10 else in this room.

8:12 No offense.

8:14 And and I am clearly not the only person

8:16 who is tormented by insecurity and has

8:18 an ego in need of constant validation.

8:21 So you admit you're an egotist.

8:24 Yes.

8:24 My name is Dr.

8:25 Leonard Hoffsteader and I

8:26 could never please my parents.

8:27 So I need to get all my self-esteem from strangers

8:29 like you.

8:30 BUT HE'S WORSE.

8:32 OKAY, THAT is it.

8:33 Stop it.

8:37 You cannot blow up my head with your

8:39 mind.

8:39 Then I'll settle for an aneurysm.

8:42 Stop it.

8:43 You hit me.

8:43 You saw that?

8:44 He hit me trying to blow up my head.

8:46 So it was working.

8:47 It wasn't.

8:48 IT WAS NOT.

8:48 BUT YOU ARE A

8:49 NUTCASE.

8:49 OH, SEE ABOUT THAT.

8:51 HEADS UP, YOU PEOPLE

8:51 in the front row.

8:52 This is a splash zone.

8:53 It's not.

8:54 Stop it.

8:55 Quit it.

9:02 Is this usually how these physics things

9:04 go?

9:05 More often than you think.

9:11 I don't understand why you're not

9:12 enjoying this.

9:13 Together in this car with my enhanced

9:16 capabilities, we're like Nightrider.

9:21 Except in Night Rider, the car isn't a

9:22 yammering sphincter.

9:26 You mock the sphincter, but the

9:28 sphincter is a class of muscle without

9:30 which human beings couldn't survive.

9:36 There are over 50 different sphincters

9:38 in the human body.

9:40 How many can you

9:40 name?

9:43 I was wrong.

9:43 This is exactly like Night

9:44 Rider.

9:47 Perhaps you'd be interested in a

9:48 different game.

9:50 No, this is a photograph of the 1911

9:52 Soul Conference on the theory of

9:54 radiation and quanta.

9:56 Using Photoshop, I've introduced a few anacronisms.

10:00 See if you can spot all 24.

10:02 I'll give you the first one.

10:04 Madame Cury should not be

10:06 wearing a digital watch.

10:09 And go.

10:12 That's it.

10:13 Byebye.

10:17 Bazinga.

10:21 I have an override switch.

10:23 I almost died.

10:25 And I'm safe and sound in bed.

10:27 Who's crazy now?

10:29 I'm still going to go with you.

10:34 About the month Sheldon spent grinding

10:36 up insects and mixing them into

10:37 Leonard's food.

10:38 Well, excuse me.

10:40 That was not a betrayal.

10:42 That was an experiment to determine at what

10:44 concentration food starts tasting moy.

10:57 Hey, you got Snoopy out.

10:59 Can I have a

10:59 snow cone?

11:00 Well, sure.

11:05 This is pretty good.

11:06 What flavor is this?

11:07 Guess

11:10 papaya.

11:11 No.

11:12 Guava.

11:12 You're so close.

11:14 Why give up?

11:15 Mango caterpillars.

11:19 What are you doing,

11:24 Glender?

11:23 Check it out.

11:24 I bought an endgauge

11:26 locomotive.

11:26 Half the size of HO.

11:28 Look, it fits in my mouth.

11:33 Sounds like you had a great night.

11:35 I did.

11:38 How was yours?

11:39 Not bad.

11:39 I had a lot more fun with Amy

11:40 than I thought I would.

11:42 What exactly do you mean by that?

11:44 Turns out she really knows how to help a

11:45 guy loosen up and have a good time.

11:48 Although, truth be told, my groin's a

11:49 little worse for wear.

11:58 Why'd you do that?

11:59 To send a message.

12:00 She is not for you.

12:05 What?

12:04 Not for you.

12:06 Leonard, are you in the shower?

12:08 I can't hear you.

12:09 I'm in the shower.

12:12 I asked if you were in the shower, but

12:13 that's moot now.

12:16 What?

12:17 MOOT?

12:18 RENDERED UNIMPORTANT BY RECENT EVENTS.

12:21 I can't hear you.

12:22 I'M IN THE SHOWER.

12:24 I have to skip the chitchat.

12:26 Emergency.

12:27 What kind of emergency?

12:30 Mathematical.

12:30 32 oz banana smoothie, 16

12:32 bladder.

12:35 You might not want to do that.

12:36 Oh, I assure you I do.

12:39 I'm not alone in here.

12:41 The what?

12:44 Hello, Sheldon.

12:45 What are you doing in there?

12:47 She can't be in here.

12:48 We were in here first.

12:49 You can't be in here.

12:51 According to the roommate agreement, paragraph 9,

12:53 subsection B, the right to bathroom

12:55 privacy is suspended in the event of

12:57 force majour.

12:58 And believe me, I'm

12:59 experiencing a very majure force.

13:03 Come on.

13:04 You can't wait 2 minutes.

13:06 Leonard, let the man be.

13:14 Penny.

13:14 Penny.

13:16 Penny.

13:20 What?

13:19 Move.

13:19 Move.

13:19 Move.

13:22 Leonard.

13:22 Excellent.

13:23 I want to show you

13:23 something.

13:24 Can it wait?

13:25 I need to talk to you.

13:26 Just look.

13:26 I've designed the perfect

13:28 uniforms for our team.

13:29 The colors are based on Star Trek, the original series.

13:32 The three of you will wear support red

13:34 and I will wear command gold.

13:37 Why do they say AA?

13:40 Army ants.

13:42 Isn't that confusing?

13:43 AA might mean something else to certain people.

13:47 Why would a physics bull be called

13:48 anodized aluminum?

13:51 No, I meant Never mind.

13:55 Check it out.

13:57 I got you a Batman cookie

14:00 jar.

14:00 Oh, neat.

14:02 What's the occasion?

14:03 Well, you're a friend and you like

14:05 Batman and cookies and you're off the

14:08 team.

14:13 What?

14:13 Howard, Raj, and I just had a team

14:15 meeting.

14:15 No, you didn't.

14:16 Yes, we did.

14:17 I just came from there.

14:18 Okay.

14:18 I don't know where you just came

14:20 from, but it couldn't have been a team

14:21 meeting because I'm on the team and I

14:23 wasn't there.

14:23 Ergo, the team did not

14:24 meet.

14:26 Okay.

14:26 Uh, let me try it this way.

14:29 I was at a coffee clatch with a couple of

14:31 friends and one thing led to another and

14:33 it turns out you're off the team.

14:37 Why?

14:37 Because you're taking all the fun

14:39 out of it.

14:40 I'm sorry.

14:41 Is the winner of the physics

14:42 bowl the team that has the most fun?

14:44 Okay, let me try it this way.

14:46 You're annoying and no one wants to play with

14:48 you anymore.

14:49 Leonard disproved my element.

14:50 Now all the attention is going to go away.

14:53 Oh, that's great.

14:53 You must be thrilled.

14:54 Oh,

14:55 that's it.

14:55 I'm down to seven friends.

14:57 He's counting hobbits and superheroes, right?

15:02 When I thought the element was real, I

15:04 didn't want it.

15:05 But now that Leonard

15:06 made it not exist, I want it more than

15:08 anything in the world.

15:09 The

15:09 the element never existed.

15:11 I didn't take it away.

15:12 Science took it away.

15:13 Be mad at science.

15:15 Yeah.

15:14 Don't you dare use science against me.

15:17 Science is my best friend.

15:19 Oh, good.

15:20 I'm back up to eight.

15:22 Will you tell him he's out of his mind?

15:24 Actually, I get WHAT HE'S SAYING.

15:26 YES.

15:26 NINE.

15:27 WELCOME BACK, BUDDY.

15:30 It's like if you're dating someone

15:32 you're not that into and then they break

15:33 up with you and then you want them more

15:34 than ever.

15:35 Yeah, I have no idea what she's talking

15:36 about.

15:37 But we're ganging up on you, so I

15:38 agree.

15:41 Okay, Sheldon, what do you want me to

15:42 do?

15:43 Uh, hide the information?

15:44 If I don't publish it, it's just a matter of time

15:46 before someone else does.

15:47 But no, no, of course you have to

15:49 publish.

15:49 That's your responsibility as a

15:50 scientist.

15:51 Doing otherwise would be

15:52 unethical.

15:53 You have no choice.

15:55 It's

15:55 fine.

15:55 I'll publish.

15:56 Can you believe this

15:57 guy?

16:04 Bazinga punk.

16:05 Now we're even.

16:07 You can start sorting protons and

16:09 neutrons while I build carbon atoms.

16:12 No, I don't think so.

16:13 We need to go home

16:14 now.

16:16 But I'm still working.

16:18 If you don't come out of there, I'm

16:19 going to have to drag you out.

16:22 You can try, but you'll never catch me.

16:28 For God's sakes, Joe, come here.

16:38 Bazinga.

16:42 Bazinga.

16:45 Bazinga.

16:48 Bazinga.

16:51 Bazinga.

16:56 Come, come here.

16:59 Bazinga.

17:08 Bazinga.

17:13 Bazinga.

17:16 Bazinga.

17:21 Bazinga.

17:23 She's the best fit for our little, how

17:25 shall we call it?

17:26 Rebel Alliance.

17:28 Oh, I never identified with the Rebel

17:30 Alliance.

17:31 Despite their tendency to

17:32 build death stars, I've always been more

17:34 of an Empire man.

17:37 Yeah, not my point.

17:38 I know what your point is.

17:39 You're intimidated by Amy's intellect.

17:42 To that, I say, buck up.

17:45 Okay, let me just get right to it.

17:46 Amy is judgmental, sanctimonious, and

17:49 frankly, just obnoxious.

17:53 So,

17:55 so we already have you for all that?

17:59 Are you suggesting I terminate my

18:01 relationship with Amy?

18:02 No, no, of course not.

18:03 Just have your relationship someplace else.

18:06 Be sure to check the mail.

18:07 How many times are you going to tell me

18:09 what's with you?

18:10 Nothing.

18:10 It's not suspicious that I'm

18:12 fixating.

18:12 It's consistent with my

18:13 personality,

18:16 right?

18:16 Hey guys,

18:17 more Halloween candy.

18:18 Didn't you just buy a bunch of it yesterday?

18:20 Oh, yeah.

18:21 Yeah, that's gone.

18:24 It's a rough month when Halloween and

18:26 PMS sit at the same time.

18:29 Leonard doesn't have time to chat.

18:31 He has to get the mail.

18:32 Will you relax?

18:33 I'll get it in a minute.

18:34 Hey, I was work.

18:35 Open the mail.

18:37 Excuse me.

18:46 Couple of circulars.

18:47 Nothing important.

18:49 What's with him?

18:50 Hang on.

19:02 You might be from Texas, but I'm from

19:04 New Jersey.

19:21 Sheldon, we're working here.

19:24 That's all right.

19:24 I can barely hear you

19:25 over my the

19:34 Well, that was a little uncalled for.

19:37 No, that was completely called for.

19:38 We need quiet.

19:40 So, your project is more important than

19:42 mine.

19:42 Well, seeing as your project is to

19:44 sabotage my project?

19:46 Yes.

19:46 Don't beat around the bush, Leonard.

19:48 If you don't want me here, just say the word and I'll

19:50 leave.

19:56 Could have beaten around the bush a

19:57 little.

19:58 Tonight is pizza night.

20:00 I'd like to refer that to my attorney.

20:04 According to what I see here, Thursday

20:06 nights are Francone's pizza night.

20:08 Yes.

20:08 And when Francone went out of

20:10 business, we switched to Graciano's.

20:13 That's interesting.

20:14 Can you just switch

20:14 restaurants like that, Priya?

20:20 A good question, Howard.

20:22 Turns out you can't.

20:23 According to the document you

20:25 drew up, Sheldon, the selection of a new

20:27 takeout restaurant requires public

20:28 hearings and a 60-day comment period.

20:31 Were those criteria met?

20:41 No.

20:47 This is Greek food.

20:48 Leonard, you hate Greek food.

20:50 Not as much as you.

20:53 Amy is the one constant I can count on.

20:54 And now she's changing.

20:56 It's just a haircut and some clothes.

20:58 No, it's the last straw I can't take

21:00 anymore.

21:09 Can you believe it?

21:10 They finally fixed the elevator.

21:15 This is a nightmare.

21:17 What's with him?

21:18 He won a Nobel Prize and his wife looks

21:20 amazing.

21:21 Oh, yeah.

21:22 Got it.

21:43 How did you get down here?

21:45 The elevator.

21:45 It's really fast.

21:48 I I need to be alone right now.

21:50 Don't try to follow me.

21:51 All right.

21:51 You need a ride?

21:52 That'd be great.

21:52 Thank you.