I Hosted The Most Unhinged Talent Show
Zach Justice
0:00 Welcome to Impress Me.
0:01 Anyone can walk into this stage with any talent they want.
0:04 Good, bad, or completely bizarre.
0:06 They get one performance to impress the panel.
0:08 Jesse, that was one of the worst things I've ever seen.
0:10 And at the end of the show,
0:12 the highest score walks away with a cash prize of $1,000.
0:18 They got a guitar.
0:20 Marco Rubio times 2.
0:21 Ready to rock.
0:23 Uh, we're going to perform an original tune.
0:25 I wrote this um about a little French girl
0:28 I taught English to when I was living in France.
0:30 I hope she appreciates it now and I hope you guys appreciate it.
0:35 Thank you very at your little tender age when Barbie dolls are all the rage.
0:54 You just learned to turn the page and you can't see.
1:01 You've only just begun.
1:05 So much to come.
1:06 If you could stay this young,
1:12 the plot throwing me a little bit, but Oh, when you laugh, there's no reason why
1:19 you don't think, don't care to even try.
1:24 And then you'll you'll realize some lovers ties.
1:30 But now when life can get you down, you'll have all the fun.
1:36 If you could stay this young,
1:42 just before we score, I have a couple follow-up questions.
1:46 Yes.
1:46 Yes.
1:46 Um, on the nature of the relationship with this child,
1:51 I was her English teacher.
1:54 Nice.
1:53 Oh, so English as a second language in France.
1:55 That's right.
1:56 Okay.
1:57 Is it a love song or is it
1:59 Great followup.
2:00 No, it's like a it's like a like a coming of age song.
2:02 A coming of age.
2:02 Oh, coming of age.
2:03 Lunch gets us.
2:05 Uh, I'll start.
2:05 I gave you guys a nine.
2:07 Wow.
2:07 Thank you.
2:08 I'm going give my my score.
2:10 Um, I heard she was eight years old
2:14 and that the intimate is the one thing that threw me off,
2:17 but everything else was awesome.
2:19 The the serenating and all that was it's pretty sick.
2:22 Thank you.
2:22 Appreciate it.
2:23 I've got to remember who what you boys have done for me in my life.
2:26 And I had it at a six,
2:28 but I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to bump it up to a seven.
2:31 That's a phase symbol.
2:32 That's a phase symbol.
2:34 We're not doing brain rot stuff right now.
2:35 Okay.
2:35 You know, you're right.
2:37 Yeah.
2:38 Um Okay.
2:38 Oh, I I gave it a six.
2:41 Okay.
2:41 Wow.
2:41 Okay.
2:42 All right, gentlemen.
2:42 Your score is a 30.
2:44 You'll take the chair right here and you'll be
2:46 the defending champs and you're going to hold the four.
2:48 What's your score?
2:49 A 30 total.
2:49 Thank you, Better Help for sponsoring this episode.
2:51 To improve your body, you know, you need to go to the gym.
2:54 You got to work out.
2:55 You got to move your muscles around and you got to get the body going.
2:59 But what if there was a gym for your mind?
3:00 Zach, how do you work out your mind?
3:02 With therapy.
3:02 But Zach, what therapy is so hard?
3:04 I got to drive across.
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3:42 month of wonderful, wonderful therapy.
3:44 Shout out Better Help.
3:46 Oh god.
3:47 Back entrance.
3:48 Came in the back entrance.
3:49 I like that.
3:50 Like that.
3:51 Back entrance.
3:52 Some people's favorites.
3:53 What's up, dude?
3:54 What's up, guys?
3:54 What's your name?
3:55 You look like you it harder than anybody's ever it in their life.
3:58 Oh, that's funny.
4:00 What are you uh doing for us today, Jeff?
4:02 What are you doing?
4:02 Um, I'm going to rap ac capella.
4:04 __] yeah.
4:04 Oh, that's what I'm talking about.
4:05 Jeff, are you in any chat rooms?
4:08 No.
4:09 No chat room.
4:10 That's weird.
4:10 Are you singing Vanilla Ice?
4:12 No.
4:13 No.
4:13 It's called uh levels of emotion.
4:15 Oh.
4:15 Oh, we about to get deep here, Jeff.
4:17 Oh, it's my fault, son.
4:18 Go ahead.
4:19 Okay.
4:19 Ready?
4:20 Yeah.
4:21 Emotions can be like tiny explosions exploding.
4:23 Time it right can cause fright to those close to you.
4:25 Fight or flight depends on day and night.
4:27 The drapes are closed when I'm wielding a knife.
4:29 Shield your eyes.
4:30 You're in for surprise.
4:31 Spies outside.
4:32 Watch my behavior.
4:33 Sitting alone my blue blazer happy or sad about human nature.
4:37 Neighbors complaining that I'm inhumane.
4:39 Usually frame minds I'm[ __] insane.
4:41 That[ __] is mistaken for personal pain.
4:43 Curse words my brain calling[ __] names.
4:45 Sometimes my states lost in a maze.
4:47 Anger's like a goddamn torch grenade.
4:51 Freight truck runaway train crushing your brain.
4:53 Eyesight is locked.
4:54 Crushing your brain.
4:55 Crushing your brain.
4:56 It's all right.
4:57 Sometimes we lose the train of thought.
5:00 Crushing your brain.
5:01 I know you.
5:02 No, no, no.
5:02 I wrote that.
5:03 No name.
5:04 That was Hold on.
5:04 Let him finish.
5:05 Hold on.
5:06 Back.
5:06 He dang that bell and then I got all[ __]
5:08 up in my He threw the beat right into the brain.
5:12 Okay.
5:12 You want me to start over or just
5:13 No, just if you can get right back into the brain part.
5:16 Emotions could be like tiny explosions exploding.
5:19 Time right can cause fright to those close to you.
5:21 Fight or flight depends on day and night.
5:23 The drapes are closed when I'm wielding a knife.
5:25 Shield your eyes.
5:26 You're in for surprise.
5:27 Spies outside.
5:28 Watch my behavior.
5:29 I'm sitting alone.
5:30 My blue blazer happier said about human nature.
5:33 Neighbors complaining that I'm inhumane.
5:35 Use your frame mind cuz I'm[ __] insane.
5:37 That[ __] is mistaken for personal pain.
5:39 Curse words my brain calling[ __] names.
5:41 Sometimes mine stays lost in the maze.
5:43 Anger's like a goddamn tourist grenade.
5:45 Y the deck or stabs scorching flames.
5:47 Freight truck runaway train crushing your brain or like[ __] I forgot.
5:52 I I uh it's out of everything you've ever seen in your entire life.
5:56 I gave you a four.
5:57 And here's what I'll say.
5:58 I I like I like the effort.
6:00 I like the the the flowing ability.
6:02 I'll say personally some of the lyrics were they scared me a bit.
6:07 Okay, that's the idea.
6:10 Nailed it.
6:10 Uh I um did nail it.
6:13 And the[ __] insane part I thought for a second I was like,
6:15 "Fuck, this guy could be insane." And then you're talking about Yeah, you
6:20 Okay, I gave you a nine.
6:22 Listen, you are the white immortal technique.
6:25 I love what you were speaking about.
6:27 I understand it's hard to remember the lyrics like after a certain time.
6:31 A lot of cameras.
6:33 I also gave you an insane.
6:35 I did.
6:35 Yeah.
6:36 I just thought it was beautiful in every way.
6:38 And um if you want to get angry and come
6:40 in here and kind of just throw lead at people,
6:43 just know who your buddy was at that lunch table that day.
6:45 I asked you to sit with me, didn't I?
6:47 Right.
6:48 Absolutely.
6:48 Remember that?
6:48 Yeah.
6:49 And remember who gave you a four?
6:51 I gave you a five.
6:52 Um,
6:54 yeah.
6:54 I mean, Jeff, I I like the rap, but man,
6:56 I just I just need a little bit more confidence, man.
6:58 You got to know that you him, man.
6:59 That's your That's your rap.
7:03 Hello.
7:03 How's it going?
7:04 It's going good.
7:04 How are you guys?
7:05 Good.
7:05 How are you?
7:06 I'm doing good.
7:07 Okay.
7:08 I got a couple talents.
7:09 Can we ask what your name is?
7:11 Yes.
7:11 Jolie Usher.
7:13 Jolie.
7:13 Jolie.
7:13 Like Angelina.
7:14 Can I come over there?
7:15 Yeah.
7:17 Okay.
7:16 You You should show the camera, too.
7:18 Once you once you
7:19 Can you see?
7:19 Okay.
7:19 Hold on.
7:20 So, this is like
7:22 Hold on.
7:22 This is supposed to be Zach.
7:24 It's beautiful, man.
7:25 That look way better than Zach.
7:26 This is my uh I can I can I can uh draw an etch a sketch pretty well.
7:30 Wow.
7:30 Etch a sketch.
7:30 I should have drawn sketch.
7:32 That would have made a lot of sense.
7:34 My second talent's pretty random.
7:36 Oh, wait a second.
7:38 Oh, little break dance move.
7:40 Hold up.
7:40 Wait a second.
7:41 Kick flop.
7:42 OH,
7:43 IT GO A BABY FREEZE.
7:46 OKAY.
7:45 And also, it's Korean.
7:49 Oh, just kidding.
7:51 This is You got to remember this is out
7:52 of everything I've ever seen in my entire life.
7:56 So, when you see this score, you might scoff and go,
7:58 "Oh, no." But really, your brain should go, "Oh, yeah."
8:04 Okay.
8:04 Which is good.
8:05 That's pretty good.
8:06 Very good.
8:08 Yeah.
8:07 I thought the dance move was sick.
8:08 I'm a follower.
8:10 Six.
8:12 Okay.
8:12 I'll take it.
8:13 Gave a seven because I like the sketch thing.
8:16 I I could never do something like that.
8:18 I suck at art.
8:18 So, I was impressed.
8:20 That was sick.
8:21 Thank you.
8:21 Appreciate it.
8:22 That was impressive.
8:25 Perfect.
8:24 I I gave you an eight.
8:26 Okay, let's go.
8:27 I liked it.
8:28 That was There was uh the Etsy sketch thing.
8:30 I would never in my life have the time.
8:32 You had the time.
8:33 Not the time, the the the wherewithal to stick with it.
8:36 Like the patience.
8:37 The patience.
8:37 That's the good word.
8:38 Patience.
8:40 Um Okay, Joe, your score was a 27, which was is very good, but it did not top
8:44 our second highest score today.
8:46 It did not top the bad.
8:47 If you feel emotional, we have tissues.
8:52 What's going on?
8:54 Yes.
8:55 __] yeah.
8:56 He look like he break laws.
8:57 My name is Tomas.
8:58 Uh I go by Mossi.
9:00 Um my talent is sort of that I got into a motorcycle crash.
9:05 It's not really a talent.
9:06 That's not a talent at all.
9:07 It's like the anti of a talent.
9:09 Yeah, but I crashed at 170 mph.
9:12 Wait a second.
9:13 Into the back of a car.
9:14 You're supposed to be dead.
9:16 Exactly.
9:16 So, I brought my helmet that I was wearing.
9:20 There's some other stuff like my GoPro that I was wearing and everything.
9:23 And he's not walking right.
9:24 Yeah, I lost two inches off my right leg.
9:27 What?
9:27 Wait a second.
9:28 I got to go.
9:29 That's before and after surgery.
9:31 170 mph into a back of a vehicle.
9:33 And this is the bike.
9:35 And you went from Elto to
9:37 That's the bike afterwards.
9:39 I'm 6'2 on one side, 61 on the other.
9:41 You're not supposed to be here with us.
9:43 Tomas, I give you a three.
9:44 And I'm just And it's not because I You survived and I'm happy for that.
9:48 God, I'm happy.
9:51 Yes.
9:51 Cuz that you shouldn't be alive.
9:52 Thank God you are.
9:53 Number two, when you show me the video of you riding around on your bike,
9:56 I[ __] hate it when bikers fly by.
9:59 I don't get mad at cars either.
10:00 So I
10:01 Lord, I hate it.
10:02 I'm not I hate those bikers.
10:03 I get mad at cars for even not seeing you.
10:06 I'm like, you're not going to see a bike going 180.
10:09 I don't I never got mad at
10:10 We see We see you for sure.
10:12 You do now, but
10:13 it's good.
10:14 Did you want to give your score then?
10:15 This is from the heart.
10:16 Okay, this one's from the heart.
10:18 And um I think congrats on surviving.
10:22 Um you said you did 215 after you crash.
10:25 Yeah, that was dumb.
10:26 Okay, zero.
10:27 Cuz you're either going to kill you or someone else.
10:29 So
10:30 from the bottom of my heart, you're going to kill someone else.
10:34 So my heart
10:35 similar score.
10:36 I got a one here
10:38 just cuz um the talent part I'm a little thrown off on.
10:42 Exactly.
10:42 There's no talent.
10:43 And it just it just seems like you're a a good guy.
10:47 No, dare I say a a lo a domestic terrorist a little bit.
10:52 Well, I gave it an eight because personally I was impressed by the video.
10:57 He was moving, grooving, vibing, sliding gangster.
10:59 It was in between.
11:01 I did crash.
11:02 I know.
11:02 I know.
11:03 But before he went to the hospital,
11:04 but I didn't I didn't I didn't just go straight one second to the back of a car.
11:07 I There was a car turning last second which made me turn into the car.
11:10 No, I mean, but I know I was No, I wasn't blaming the car.
11:13 I'm impressed by the speed, the survival skills,
11:17 and that you still not enough to do it again.
11:21 Yo yo
11:23 yo
11:23 yo yo yo yo, what up?
11:24 How's it going, Jazz?
11:27 Jazz, uh, I'll be rapping.
11:29 I make beats.
11:29 So, I've got a song about the Ray Band Meadows.
11:31 So, let's do that one.
11:33 I would have almost guessed that's what it was about when I saw you.
11:35 Are you recording right now?
11:37 May I?
11:38 I mean, it's up to you, bro.
11:39 I don't care.
11:39 __] it.
11:39 Okay, cool.
11:40 Yeah.
11:41 Hell yeah.
11:41 Now you can Man, I've always wanted to see what the POV of a performance like
11:45 I love getting POV.
11:46 Perfect.
11:48 Oh, look at that.
11:50 Shut up.
11:51 I ain't got time to sit still.
11:52 No chill.
11:53 Lyrics running through my mental dental.
11:55 Busy stacking my presidential.
11:57 Yeah, I need my breath for my studio rental.
11:59 Parental, that's my instrumental.
12:01 There's no room for you to be argumental or temperamental.
12:04 Sentimental, coincidental, transcendentalism.
12:07 I'm busy writing lyrics on a mission.
12:09 Every syllable of manalytic logarithmic lock in a rhythm lyricism.
12:13 Whole city full of tourism.
12:15 Don't want to go on.
12:16 I'm chilling.
12:16 Come to me.
12:17 I'mma put my money in my company.
12:19 Way more money, more fun for me.
12:21 Better rev than you ever wanted from me.
12:23 But it's something that I knew you needed from me.
12:25 Benevolent about to go and give you relief.
12:27 Keeping it brief.
12:27 Won't even repeat myself whatsoever.
12:30 Yeah, your tracks how mine is better.
12:32 What's your name?
12:32 I do not remember your last picture.
12:35 It was whatever.
12:35 My lady is sticking the thighs, but I still call her slender.
12:38 Okay.
12:39 Yeah, baby's got the forcy hair and I love texture.
12:42 I'll text her.
12:43 Last man really did it.
12:44 This my vendetta.
12:46 I'll be better.
12:46 Get to work and stack my cheddar.
12:48 Look, my flow stays cold like a snowy December.
12:51 Baby, let me get a POV with my mas.
12:54 Got the PO.
12:58 Oh[ __] Baby, let me get a POV with my mas.
13:03 I was hitting it from the back.
13:06 Don't want to go on tour.
13:07 I'm chilling up.
13:08 Come to me.
13:12 Uh,
13:12 nice.
13:14 Um, if you guys want one more,
13:17 you um, sorry, he was writing down notes.
13:19 Um, and he wrote down rapper but with one P.
13:21 I I gave it a seven cuz you said you made you made the beat too, right?
13:24 Yeah, I made the beat.
13:26 I made the lyrics.
13:27 I wrapped it for you guys.
13:28 Yeah.
13:28 Yeah.
13:28 No.
13:28 Okay.
13:29 That's what I'm saying.
13:29 So that's that.
13:30 Yeah.
13:30 That's you able to make the beat and you rap.
13:33 Had a good little flow, good lyrics.
13:36 I can rock with that.
13:37 I actually I did a seven as well.
13:38 I I really appreciate that.
13:39 It was a fun It was a fun out of the rappers we've had today, you're talking
13:44 You guys are talking bad about Jeff when Jeff get out there.
13:46 I like that.
13:47 And you did stage.
13:48 I like I like the production side is impressive.
13:51 I know that's difficult
13:52 versus the the rap we heard previously.
13:54 You had such an optimism about you.
13:55 I don't know if that was with your smile
13:57 and your and the way you were uh uh rhyming,
14:00 but it was I liked it.
14:02 I gave it a five.
14:04 Okay.
14:06 Because I don't I He wants me to go on tour, guys.
14:10 I want him.
14:11 Yes, that was the big thesis.
14:14 I did nine.
14:15 I appreciate that.
14:16 You did your own beat.
14:17 You did your own performance.
14:19 You had stage presence, confidence.
14:21 I loved it.
14:22 You got a sick fit.
14:24 You even complimented.
14:25 You complimented Zack pretty good.
14:26 I I can tell you don't understand the the value in production.
14:29 That's not easy to make a beat and then rep it and remember it.
14:33 Yeah, Jeff didn't Jeff didn't remember to have the[ __] song.
14:37 But Jeff showed up with an essence of
14:40 You gave Jeff like an eight or nine.
14:42 It was
14:42 You gave him a six in the original.
14:44 I just like archetypes that understand their mold they're supposed to fit into.
14:48 That's the perfect mode.
14:49 What do you mean?
14:49 This the nerdy black dude that makes fun music and he hit that on the
14:54 We don't know if he's black
14:55 and he's gonna go watch some anime later.
14:57 Do you watch anime?
14:59 You watch anime too?
15:00 Yes, sir.
15:00 What do you mean?
15:01 This fits the archetype.
15:02 I'm starting to realize you don't know black archetypes.
15:05 No, dude.
15:06 And so Jazz, we appreciate you that I think your total score was a 7, 5, 12, 9.
15:11 Uh, it was a 28, which is two below you the defending champ.
15:15 I'll give him a six.
15:17 Okay, so 29 still.
15:18 Uh, so you come in second so far for the day.
15:20 We really appreciate you.
15:22 Hey, thanks for having me, guys.
15:23 The whole day.
15:24 Hi.
15:25 Hi.
15:25 Hi.
15:25 What's your name?
15:26 Lisa.
15:26 This is Grimer.
15:28 Uh, Grim.
15:30 How did you come up with that?
15:31 He's battling.
15:31 I don't know.
15:32 He just That's his name.
15:35 Grim.
15:35 Grimifer doesn't like Asians.
15:37 He said that's a camera and in my face.
15:40 There you go.
15:41 Are you guys ready?
15:42 I'm born ready.
15:43 Okay.
15:43 Um, I don't know.
15:44 Do skateboards do well on this surface?
15:47 Yeah.
15:47 I have no idea.
15:48 Okay, great.
15:49 So, we'll all find out together.
15:52 An escape.
15:53 Grimy, griptoer.
15:55 Good little boy.
15:58 Yeah.
15:57 That's a good boy.
16:00 Yeah.
16:00 Good boy.
16:03 Okay.
16:04 Okay.
16:04 Okay.
16:04 Come here.
16:05 Does he pedal or does he just
16:06 He does.
16:07 Yeah.
16:07 But
16:08 we got to give him some more space.
16:09 He only does one or the other.
16:10 Yeah.
16:10 Maybe maybe we do a diagonal type of vibe.
16:12 You got Is it We have a ramp in here.
16:14 Let's go.
16:16 Yeah.
16:15 Does he jump off things?
16:16 Oh, wait.
16:16 That's sick.
16:17 Oh, wow.
16:18 That's impressive.
16:19 Good job.
16:20 He's got good balance.
16:21 Good job.
16:22 Being low to the ground, having no legs really helps.
16:25 And then he can make it look like he's going to pee on something.
16:29 Oh, wait a second.
16:30 Fake fake fake fake.
16:32 I like that one.
16:33 Fake pump fake.
16:34 Little fake territory work.
16:36 How'd you learn?
16:37 Okay.
16:37 And then um I do need a volunteer for one.
16:40 Skyler's ribbon ready.
16:41 Skyler loves his legs out.
16:45 I have pockets.
16:45 Okay.
16:46 He's going to pick your pocket.
16:47 Ready?
16:51 Okay.
16:49 Get it.
16:51 Good.
16:51 Go.
16:51 Put it in.
16:53 Good boy.
16:54 Okay.
16:54 Okay.
16:55 We go.
16:56 So, technically
16:57 Good boy.
16:57 I get it.
16:58 I get it.
16:58 Okay.
16:59 You want to see him do a trust ball?
17:00 Yeah, for sure.
17:01 Watch this dog do anything.
17:02 Okay.
17:03 Ready?
17:04 Trust ball.
17:06 Good boy.
17:07 That was sick.
17:07 That was my That was That was a very good trick.
17:10 Grimifer.
17:12 Yeah.
17:11 I gave you a seven.
17:14 Wow.
17:14 Okay.
17:15 Grimser, I gave you a six.
17:16 Oh my god.
17:17 Whoa.
17:17 Okay.
17:20 I mean, you know, I I was impressed.
17:22 I thought Grimifer did a good job, but I I wanted to see a little bit more,
17:26 you know, moving, grooving, vibing, sliding on the skateboard.
17:30 Yeah.
17:29 Oh, you wanted to see?
17:31 Yeah.
17:31 I want to see like, you know what I mean?
17:32 Like zoom a little bit or like Yeah.
17:35 Not maybe a little 360 or something.
17:38 Okay.
17:37 I love everything going on here before I show my score.
17:40 I love it.
17:41 I love I love it.
17:42 It sounds like it's about to be a really bad
17:44 love.
17:44 I give it a five.
17:46 I give it a five.
17:47 It felt like it felt like I don't want to say like he didn't want to be here,
17:51 but it felt like he had ulterior motives for being here.
17:54 Well, like he does know a language that's not bark.
17:56 And I don't know what it is.
17:59 Yeah,
17:58 but he stole my[ __] wallet.
18:00 He He did do that.
18:01 That's true.
18:02 I gave Grimtopher and you a 10.
18:05 Thank you.
18:07 Wow.
18:06 Because Grim did a lot of things I wasn't expecting.
18:10 The trust fall caught me off guard.
18:13 Mhm.
18:12 I did like the fake.
18:14 It was almost like a fake seizure.
18:15 You fake a seizure.
18:16 They pit pocket someone.
18:17 That's very smart.
18:18 There you go.
18:18 Yeah, it is great.
18:19 All right.
18:19 Thank you guys so much.
18:20 Thank you very much.
18:23 Hello.
18:24 Hello.
18:24 Hello.
18:24 How's it going?
18:25 What up, brother?
18:27 Awesome.
18:27 Everything is going well.
18:29 My name is KJ Rashid and um I'm going to sing if u if you'll bear with me.
18:37 Come on, KJ.
18:38 And I'm going to do ac capella because I
18:40 want to do an original song that I wrote.
18:42 Okay.
18:43 Back in 1986.
18:44 It's sort of jazz RB.
18:47 Okay.
18:47 And so I'm going to start off singing the
18:50 chorus and then I'll slide into the melody.
18:53 Mhm.
18:53 Okay.
18:53 And that's Give me Yeah.
18:54 Give me that.
18:55 Give me that.
18:55 I can't trust these right now.
18:58 And I always love you lately.
19:01 You know I'm always thinking of you.
19:04 Thinking about you and I always love you lately.
19:08 You know I'm always thinking of you.
19:12 I've been thinking about the way you used to say rise and shine.
19:23 We'd make love then start another day.
19:27 Then I'd see the shower sprinkling from up above your satin hair.
19:34 and how I'd kiss your lips so gently.
19:37 Every moment you are near.
19:40 And I've been thinking.
19:43 And lately you're all that's on my mind.
19:47 And I' been thinking little girl that living without you is a waste of time.
19:54 And I've been thinking, girl, how I wish you still were mine.
20:05 So now I'm thinking, and lately you're all that's on my mind.
20:12 And I been thinking, little girl, that living without you is a waste of time.
20:19 And I've been thinking, oh, how I wish you still were mine.
20:33 So, I'm talking about KJ.
20:35 That is an original song by KJ Rashid written in 1986.
20:40 I thought 1986.
20:42 What's the What's the name?
20:43 The name of the song is I've been thinking.
20:46 I've been thinking.
20:47 You ever get like some production behind there?
20:48 is always m capella.
20:50 It's uh well I wrote the song and it kind of like
20:52 it was about uh what I was going through at the time
20:56 a breakup uh but I've since move I since shortly after
21:01 kind of moved on and made amends to that person and
21:05 you still trying to get this girl back?
21:07 No actually I'm
21:09 happily married now.
21:11 Let's go.
21:12 So beautiful.
21:13 Did do you create a song for your now wife?
21:16 Uh, yeah.
21:16 I I Well, I have a song that I sing for her on her birthday.
21:19 It's already been created by somebody else.
21:21 I don't know.
21:21 Is it Happy Birthday by Jorge?
21:23 The woman you married.
21:25 Sometimes it takes Sometimes I'm working on her song now.
21:28 In fact, her birthday is coming up.
21:30 Uh, and I'm working on a song to sing to her.
21:32 I'll expose it only to her.
21:35 That's beautiful.
21:35 On March 3rd,
21:36 I give you a six.
21:37 I really I liked your I liked your vibe.
21:39 You seem like a nice guy.
21:41 Um, I thought it was good.
21:43 Six.
21:44 Then that's
21:45 six is a great score.
21:46 I also gave it a six.
21:47 G felt some Alexander O'Neal type of vibes with it.
21:51 Big fan.
21:52 It's good.
21:53 I gave it a six.
21:55 You did amazing.
21:56 That is one of the higher scores I've given today.
21:59 And you're you God, you remind me so
22:02 much of the the old program Reading Rainbow, and that really brings me joy.
22:05 Thank you.
22:06 I love the suit.
22:07 I gave you a six as well.
22:08 Thank you, KJ.
22:09 Thank you, KJ.
22:10 Appreciate you coming, big dog.
22:13 Hello.
22:13 Hello.
22:14 Hello.
22:15 How are you doing on this fine?
22:17 What is it?
22:17 Tuesday.
22:18 Good.
22:18 How are you guys doing?
22:20 Good.
22:20 Great.
22:20 Good.
22:20 What's your name?
22:22 Cat.
22:21 And what are you doing today, Cat?
22:23 Um, I do stand up comedy.
22:24 I also write funny songs.
22:26 Songwriter.
22:28 I'm a writer.
22:29 So, what are you doing today?
22:30 A standup or a song?
22:31 I'm going to do a little bit of standup comedy like maybe like couple lines.
22:35 The the jokes related to the song I just wrote.
22:38 Uh, my name is Cat C.
22:40 My prong is Pussycat.
22:42 Actually, people like to laugh at my accent.
22:46 They're like, "Cat, you have accent." I'm like,
22:49 "Shut up,[ __] I do not have accent.
22:52 I speak perfect English." And
22:59 English.
22:58 Yeah.
22:59 So, couple years ago,
23:00 I got a Tesla because all my friends suggest me get a Tesla.
23:04 They're like, "Tesla has full self-driving mode.
23:08 It's perfect for Asian female driver like you." That's why I got a Tesla.
23:13 Actually, now I got a punished.
23:14 You guys heard about all the protesting against Elon Musk, right?
23:18 Lots of Tesla owner have to rebrand their Tesla to Toyota.
23:22 Last week, I drove my Tesla passed by this Burbank Tesla charging station.
23:27 There were a bunch of like protester was like screaming.
23:30 They're like, "Send Elon back to Mars with all his ugly cars." I was like,
23:35 try to cover my face, drive away, and there is a woman.
23:39 Wait, there's a[ __] She start knocking on the car window.
23:43 __][ __] She's like, "Why are you still driving
23:46 the most hated car in America?" I was like,
23:49 "I'm not driving the car." The car drive itself.
23:53 Oh, I like that.
23:54 Pop off on them.
23:55 The drivers probably are the cars driving me, you know?
23:58 I like that.
23:59 Do you think you'll participate in the Taiwan takeover?
24:02 Wow, that's very political, Zach.
24:04 That's a joke I don't do.
24:05 I don't do political jokes, but I didn't know.
24:08 Oh, driving the most hated car in America.
24:12 I'm not driving the car.
24:14 The car drive itself.
24:16 Is this[ __] I do not have accent.
24:18 I speak perfect English.
24:20 My therapist asked me who I spent most time.
24:23 I was like,
24:32 that's like the cat's eye lyrics to be honest.
24:34 That's it.
24:36 Okay.
24:36 You dim some, you lose some.
24:38 That's like sounds like cat eye.
24:41 I like it.
24:42 I do like dim sum.
24:44 You made that with Sonos on AI?
24:47 Uh, yeah, I use AI autotune, did it?
24:49 But those are some of my heard I gave you a four.
24:52 I um I thought it was a good effort.
24:54 I It just wasn't my sense of humor, I don't think.
24:56 I think I missed some of the jokes and that's probably on me.
24:59 But I'm going to go four.
25:04 Sketch.
25:04 Go three.
25:06 because I thought he wrote a two over there
25:09 and I was going to go one higher than him.
25:11 And I thought you did a great job.
25:13 I loved the jokes.
25:14 I wish you would have done more.
25:17 I gave you a 10.
25:19 Oh, thank you.
25:20 Because I know you guys are going to take us over one day and I
25:23 just want to be on the right side of whatever you guys are cooking.
25:25 You're very smart.
25:26 Thank you so much.
25:27 It's this and the robots.
25:28 I don't mess with you guys and the robots.
25:30 Yeah.
25:30 Oh, I gave it a six.
25:31 Um, thank you so much for your time.
25:33 Oh, thank you guys.
25:34 Thank you.
25:37 Oh.
25:38 Oh, she's back.
25:39 Oh my goodness.
25:41 What's up, y'all?
25:41 What's up?
25:42 I had a We'll clear some Oh my goodness.
25:45 What's going on here?
25:47 Oh my god, it smells amazing.
25:48 Smells great.
25:49 She does smell amazing.
25:50 I happen to be a woman of my word, so I love women.
25:54 Bella.
25:54 Bella's back.
25:55 She had baked goods last time and now I I can only assume it's meat.
26:01 You saw You knew Sketch was coming.
26:02 You're like, I I've seen the memes.
26:04 He loves the gay jokes.
26:06 So, when I overheard some people say they don't
26:08 like sugar or they can't have sugar, I'm sorry.
26:11 Forgive me.
26:11 Oh, yeah.
26:12 He was doing that whole I don't want to be fat.
26:13 I was like, well, what can I do to make
26:15 it better as a good person would to, you know,
26:18 work on their craft.
26:19 That's right.
26:20 So,
26:20 when a man doesn't want something from you, you change your life.
26:22 You're getting it.
26:24 You're picking up on it.
26:25 Okay.
26:25 Let's start with the food first.
26:26 How about that?
26:27 You can open that one.
26:28 I made some protein brownies and I made a cinnamon roll protein.
26:32 They have no sugar.
26:34 And these are the big one are the big ones.
26:36 Open this too.
26:37 They are ribeye skewers.
26:38 Oh[ __] Pass down.
26:40 A little wet.
26:41 But I also bought barbecue sauce.
26:43 I think the soy should give it a nice cooked very well.
26:46 Very tender.
26:48 Yes.
26:48 Well, I tried to undercook it, but then with keeping it heated,
26:52 it might have cooked a little bit over what I personally like.
26:55 No, no, no.
26:56 You You did that right.
26:57 We don't take that into account.
26:58 Praise God.
27:00 Praise God.
27:00 It's like if like you door dash Chick-fil-A, you don't expect it to be warm.
27:03 You know what I'm saying?
27:04 This is perfect.
27:07 That's a very good reference.
27:08 I'm glad you guys are enjoying.
27:10 These are protein.
27:11 They are protein.
27:12 There's no added sugar, nothing.
27:14 Go ahead.
27:15 Take the take the protein.
27:16 She made that especially for you, Zach.
27:19 Yeah,
27:19 the protein brownie is good.
27:21 No, I think you want gluten gluten-free.
27:23 I'm not a a a person that like I don't
27:25 like it when people try to make sweets healthy, you know?
27:28 But it's a pretty good one.
27:30 The kebab was phenomenal.
27:31 My mouth may be full, but I gave you an eight.
27:35 Okay.
27:34 I went with an eight.
27:35 I really really enjoyed it.
27:38 Okay.
27:39 Um
27:41 Um
27:40 I might bump it up to a nine.
27:41 Who knows?
27:43 Bump it up to a nine cuz I give it an 11.
27:45 Wow.
27:45 Okay.
27:46 I said I said F the rules.
27:48 That was fire.
27:49 That was fire.
27:50 That was a real challenge.
27:51 I'm glad you guys love it because when I cook and other people like it,
27:54 it makes them feel like home.
27:55 So I give it a five.
27:58 Okay.
27:58 Somebody need to check on you.
28:00 So his is a 10 cuz you can't actually go to 11.
28:03 31.
28:04 That's a new score.
28:05 Wait, that's with a
28:06 That's with a 10.
28:07 Okay.
28:07 So then for future reference,
28:09 you won.
28:09 You won.
28:10 You dethrown the meat was fire.
28:16 Okay.
28:16 All right.
28:16 This one's going to get me in trouble.
28:19 Wonder Woman just entered the building.
28:21 What's happening?
28:21 How you doing?
28:22 Good.
28:23 Good.
28:24 My name is Yaya.
28:25 I'm a bodybuilder, a personal trainer,
28:28 and I just came here just to like just pose, I guess.
28:32 Okay.
28:32 I mean, I'm not going to lie.
28:33 I have no idea how to judge a body
28:37 like where
28:38 Wait, what does that what does that sign say?
28:41 Uh, impress you.
28:43 Oh, Lord have mercy.
28:44 I was um I was looking.
28:46 Do we Yeah.
28:47 Like what's the what's cordial about this?
28:49 How do you
28:50 I mean I mean like honestly it's like you're looking at the muscle groups.
28:53 You're not looking at me like, oh, you know, like is she a baddie?
28:57 Um, I was gonna be here.
29:00 Yeah.
29:00 But, uh, yeah.
29:00 I mean, what muscle group are you most proud of?
29:02 Like, what do you think your My back.
29:04 I feel like my back and shoulders.
29:06 Uh, if you so happen to look, you know.
29:09 So, you be doing like a lot of pull-ups, lots of a lot of like I guess lats.
29:14 I don't know if you can see.
29:15 Oh, frame.
29:15 Your frame.
29:16 Yeah, frame moing for sure.
29:17 I'm a natural bodybuilder, so it doesn't look like much.
29:20 I'm like designed to be like a little 12-year-old boy in this like figure,
29:23 but I'm I'm just trying.
29:25 You look strong.
29:26 I mean,
29:28 um,
29:28 sorry, Sketch.
29:29 So, I guess I'll just like This is I guess what you
29:31 could focus here on is like more of my quads popping out.
29:35 Okay.
29:35 Locked down the quads.
29:36 I'm very Yeah, I haven't ate food, so I haven't drank water or had any carbs,
29:40 so I'm kind of dried out right now.
29:42 But or you could kind of see more on my like glutes to hamstrings.
29:46 So, if I do like this pose, like you'll see a little bit of like hamstrings.
29:53 Mhm.
29:53 I feel like I'm not qualified to look at that.
29:55 Like it doesn't I don't know what I'm looking at.
29:58 I'm looking at it.
30:00 Yeah.
30:00 I appreciate you guys being respectful, but um I guess like
30:03 your brother's right there and he's the size of a freak train.
30:06 So,
30:07 also was a very good point.
30:08 He he scares off like half the guys at the gym.
30:11 Yeah.
30:11 When I do
30:12 Hell yeah.
30:13 He also takes up the gym.
30:15 No.
30:15 Yeah.
30:16 I don't know how to score this because I don't know what I'm looking for.
30:19 I I gave a six because I uh I'll be honest,
30:22 I didn't want to look too much in anything.
30:25 Uh so, but I am very uh I like your story.
30:28 I like what you're going for.
30:29 I like I like um you seem like a very nice person and I'm rooting for you.
30:33 Thank you so much.
30:34 I'm rooting for you as well.
30:35 I You're a great person.
30:37 I personally am not not allowed to look.
30:40 So, I just I I wasn't I didn't I didn't watch the show,
30:44 but I was I I did you think you did a great job.
30:47 Thank you so much, G.
30:48 I I uh if I I give you a 10.
30:53 Okay.
30:52 And that that is for your performance
30:54 and also um your brother entering me prison style.
31:00 So, that's something I thought of before before I give Miss Core and it helped.
31:04 I gave it seven cuz I feel like the confidence
31:08 cool if you just walk in here, do some poses.
31:10 Yeah,
31:10 you know your brother as well.
31:14 Thank you so much.
31:15 Good luck in 18 weeks.
31:19 Hello.
31:19 One point for the shirt.
31:20 Oh, thank you.
31:21 Hello.
31:22 How are you guys doing?
31:23 Man, you just seem so innocently nice.
31:24 What's going on, brother?
31:26 Um, I'm I'm going to sing a song.
31:28 But like, okay.
31:29 Like, so
31:31 I was going to I had a song prepared, but guess what?
31:33 They told me cuz of copyright they had to print something else.
31:35 So, I'm going to sing it from the sheet cuz I didn't know the song,
31:37 but I'm just going to sing it for the Halloween.
31:39 My name is Jesse Phoenix.
31:42 Jesse Phoenix.
31:42 That's a good name.
31:43 That's not a god-given name, but I love it.
31:45 JP is a stripper name.
31:47 What?
31:47 In a cool way.
31:49 Hey, listen.
31:49 I think it takes one to know one.
31:53 Let me freestyle like some.
31:54 So, this is called the the Zack Justice Show.
31:59 Yep.
31:58 Zack Justice.
31:59 Okay.
31:59 We on the Zack Justice Show.
32:02 Yes, we are doing our thing.
32:04 We cooking.
32:05 All of us.
32:06 We're cooking.
32:08 Okay.
32:08 Okay.
32:09 Anyways, enough of that.
32:11 Freestyle action.
32:11 Okay.
32:12 I do this.
32:13 That was cold.
32:14 Come on, JP.
32:15 All right.
32:16 I'm going to Okay.
32:17 We're in for you.
32:17 If But if you mess up, just And
32:19 you know what?
32:19 I want you guys to go in on me.
32:21 I want you to go hard because you know because you want to know
32:23 why I'm a student of life and I believe all criticism can make you better.
32:28 Okay.
32:28 Well, the I want to be the best I can be.
32:31 The freestyle was pretty acting terrible
32:33 through my music.
32:34 I just want to be the best that I can be.
32:36 Yeah, that freestyle was ass.
32:37 The freestyle soft, but we're turning around with the song.
32:40 All right.
32:40 One of the worst freestyles I've personally ever heard.
32:43 And we had a guy earlier that I thought was going to kill us,
32:45 and that was a better freestyle.
32:46 But go for it, JP.
32:48 Have a pocket knife.
32:48 He had a pocket knife, and he was a little sketchy.
32:51 The singing you did moments ago made me want to kill myself.
32:54 Go ahead, Jesse.
32:55 But besides that, you're killing it, dude.
32:58 Yeah.
32:58 Now Jesse's probably like, "All right, go ahead.
33:00 Go ahead.
33:01 See about this,
33:02 Jesse.
33:02 That was one of the worst things I've ever seen." All right.
33:05 __] it.
33:06 Hell yeah.
33:07 Now he's ready.
33:08 Now he's ready.
33:08 GET IN THE[ __] BOAT.
33:10 I LOVE IT.
33:11 You guys are funny as[ __]
33:13 You're awesome.
33:14 You awesome, too, man.
33:18 Amazing grace.
33:21 How sweet the sound.
33:24 Do you not know the words that save a rich like me?
33:33 Wow.
33:34 Shoot in the air a couple times.
33:35 I was was lost, but now I'm was blind, but now I'm going to sing.
33:55 That was beautiful.
33:56 Thank you, Jesse.
33:59 I didn't want to do that.
34:00 Thank you.
34:00 It was a lot.
34:02 Jesse, I'm I'mma give you a three just cuz you a nice dude.
34:06 You You seem cool as hell.
34:08 You just got to have some more confidence.
34:09 Come in here and sing that[ __]
34:11 And then if you think about it,
34:12 just Zach Justice freestyle just before you get in here,
34:14 just start thinking of things that rhyme with Justice.
34:16 All right,
34:17 that got me fired up.
34:18 Just uh I give you a 10, dude.
34:20 Oh, thank you.
34:21 I'm all in on you.
34:22 I'm all in on you, too.
34:23 10.
34:24 Oh, thank you.
34:25 You are the only thing I've enjoyed today.
34:28 Oh, best thing today besides our kebab.
34:31 Well, I don't like kebabs.
34:32 Nothing against her.
34:33 Nothing.
34:34 She's an excellent baker.
34:35 Thanks, Jesse.
34:36 All right.
34:37 Thank you, Jessie.
34:40 Your skateboard do a couple tricks.
34:42 You guys rock with skating?
34:44 Yeah.
34:44 Play Tony Hawks Underground 2 all the time.
34:46 I'm Tony Pro Skater original.
34:48 You guys got You guys know anything about skating like like tricks or whatever.
34:53 I I know a couple little things.
34:54 Trey flip kick.
34:55 I'm going off vibes of what I see.
34:57 If I'm like that shit's cool, you know what I'm saying?
34:59 Can I um I don't know if I unless the girl wants to Ryan Checkler.
35:03 All right.
35:03 I don't know if I got um that ground may be better or switch Ollie.
35:08 I'm going do like like a little nollie flip.
35:10 See if I got it.
35:14 Oh.
35:13 Oh my god.
35:14 It's okay.
35:16 That's That's part of skating though, huh?
35:17 Part of
35:18 Right.
35:18 You got to get back up.
35:19 The PB was in here earlier.
35:21 That's why it's so scary.
35:21 Got a second try.
35:23 Yeah.
35:23 Got it.
35:23 You got as many tries as you need, brother.
35:25 All right.
35:25 Let's see.
35:28 Oh,
35:30 bam.
35:34 Yeah, there you go.
35:35 Third try.
35:36 And all you did was bake a cookie.
35:39 All right, you guys.
35:41 Suggestion tricks.
35:43 Whatever you think hardest trick that you could do.
35:44 Like if you was about to play um skate,
35:47 we're going to give somebody a letter immediately off rip.
35:50 Just be care careful of the curve.
35:52 The curve.
35:53 Okay, let's go backwards.
35:57 Faky flip.
35:59 Okay.
35:59 Fakey flip.
36:01 Fakey flip.
36:01 A fakey flip.
36:04 Let's do You guys are uh familiar with like switch skating and all that?
36:08 Of course.
36:09 Yeah.
36:09 All right.
36:09 Let's do a little switch heel probably.
36:14 Oh yeah.
36:15 That was That was pretty That was hard.
36:17 Yeah.
36:18 Say you did fall your very first trick and then bounce back like crap.
36:21 So I'm impressed by that.
36:22 I give you a seven.
36:22 I love that[ __]
36:24 I appreciate that.
36:25 I'm all in on Let's try flip it.
36:27 Last one or something.
36:28 Go for it.
36:28 Oh, yeah.
36:29 Trey.
36:29 Yeah.
36:29 Yeah.
36:29 Hold on.
36:30 Trey flip.
36:30 That That would raise my[ __] up at least one.
36:35 There it is.
36:37 Yes.
36:38 In a near miss.
36:39 I give it an eight.
36:41 Eight.
36:41 Eight for me, too.
36:43 Seven.
36:42 Get a high five or something.
36:43 Hell yeah.
36:44 Come on.
36:45 What's the math on that?
36:46 What's the math?
36:47 16+ 14.
36:50 31.
36:49 That's 30.
36:52 15+ 16, that's 31.
36:54 31.
36:54 I'll take it.
36:55 I'll take it.
36:56 We have a tie.
36:58 Hey, what's up?
36:59 Yeah,
37:01 nice, man.
37:03 This is cool.
37:04 Hi.
37:05 Hi.
37:05 How's it going?
37:06 What's going on?
37:06 Nothing much.
37:07 Nothing much.
37:08 We're just hanging out.
37:09 Sorry, John.
37:10 Sorry.
37:10 John doesn't[ __] Hey, that's all right.
37:12 I was just hanging out at the beach and I
37:14 heard about this thing that brought me up here.
37:16 I thought I'd do a little talent.
37:18 Yeah.
37:19 All right.
37:19 Cool.
37:19 Cool.
37:20 Let's do it.
37:24 What's your name?
37:25 Sorry.
37:26 Oh, Chris.
37:28 Chris.
37:30 All right.
37:29 All right.
37:29 Let's go.
37:38 We got a winner.
37:55 Caribou Victoria.
37:59 Allah glor.
38:05 Allah glor.
38:18 Thank you.
38:19 THANK YOU.
38:20 THANK YOU.
38:20 THANK YOU.
38:23 OH YES SIR.
38:24 THE OPERA.
38:25 I LOVE IT.
38:27 SO, what's up?
38:29 That's a 10 for me, Chris.
38:30 We got a 10.
38:36 BRING IT ON.
38:38 YEAH.
38:39 YEAH.
38:38 TAKE ANOTHER HIT AT DMG.
38:40 COME ON.
38:41 TAKE ANOTHER RIP.
38:45 SMOKED.
38:45 You won.
38:46 You win.
38:47 Any follow up?
38:49 Uh, thank you guys so much for watching.
38:51 Like and subscribe.
38:52 These are our two biggest losers today.
38:54 They were this close to $1,000,
38:56 but Chris came in and took it from their grubby hands.
38:59 And he just hits one more time.
39:01 Very.
39:03 That's what I'm talking about.
39:03 Fade to black.
39:05 Fade to black.
39:06 Yes.