Bruce's Best Character Development Moments | St. Denis Medical | NBC

0:01 -Okay, we have relative flexion.

0:02 Scalpel.

0:02 Surgeons are dragon slayers.

0:05 And this room, my lonely knight's quarters.

0:07 These, my humble swords.

0:09 And for each beast, a unique blade— ohh!

0:12 drawn from the scabbard.

0:13 And number ten, the Excalibur of my stronghold.

0:16 -Dude.

0:17 You're touching all that stuff?

0:18 -Uh, was I?

0:19 -It took us, like, 45 minutes to disinfect.

0:21 We're gonna have to clean it all over again.

0:23 You can't keep doing this, bro!

0:25 Be considerate.

0:28 Chuckles] My squire.

0:29 -What'd you call me?

0:30 -Nothing.

0:35 He's not that mad.

0:37 Whispering] Is he still there?

0:39 Keith?

0:39 Hey, Keith.

0:40 Uh, yo mama's so fat— -My mom passed away in July.

0:43 -Oh, sorry.

0:45 Okay.

0:47 Uh, yo mama was so fat— -Hey, Bruce...

0:50 -Hey!

0:50 Did you guys watch "Grey Mornings" last night?

0:53 -Oh.

0:53 -It was so good.

0:54 That ending?

0:55 -No, no, no.

0:56 Shh.

0:56 -Bruce, did you watch?

0:59 -"Grey Mornings"?

1:00 Yeah, of course.

1:01 I never miss it.

1:03 The greyer the better.

1:04 -Bruce has this annoying habit of bragging about

1:06 these high-brow British dramas that no one else has seen,

1:09 so we decided to start talking about a show

1:11 that we love that Bruce can't watch— because it doesn't exist.

1:15 And then, when Mr.

1:16 Potter took off his eye patch!

1:18 -Ah, yes, the eye patch!

1:19 It had to go.

1:20 -And that affair with the Duchess.

1:22 -With the Duchess!

1:23 -Scandalous.

1:24 -Okay, who's your favorite dame?

1:25 -Ooh, favorite dame.

1:26 Good question.

1:27 Great question.

1:28 Dame...Dame...

1:29 It's hard to choose just one.

1:31 Uh, who is the favorite?

1:33 Uh...

1:33 Clears throat] Sorry, I...

1:36 Oh, my God!

1:38 Keith died.

1:39 -Wait, what?

1:40 -What?

1:40 -Oh, my God, what happened?

1:41 -Keith who works here?

1:42 -No!

1:43 -What do you mean?

1:43 -Bruce!

1:44 -Keith's fine.

1:45 Yeah, I just needed to get out of there.

1:48 Sighs deeply] Yeah, I didn't really think this one through.

1:52 -Man, I didn't realise Matt has so many friends.

1:55 -Yeah, well he doesn't.

1:56 I blasted his invite to the hospital WhatsApp,

1:58 said there'd be free food and cash prizes, and lookie what happened.

2:02 -Oh, my God, I'm so glad you made it!

2:04 And um, I'm sorry.

2:05 Who are you again?

2:06 -Look, Matt's been dealt a tough hand.

2:08 Pale, weak constitution.

2:10 I mean, his hair is doing something absolutely unhinged this year.

2:13 It's all in the card.

2:15 All to say I just want to make sure he has a great birthday.

2:17 Poor kid.

2:19 Hey, you seen the Aquaphor?

2:20 Yeah.

2:20 I just need some for my arm here.

2:22 A little tender.

2:23 -There's one in zone B.

2:26 -So, that's over there, right?

2:28 -You don't know where Zone B is?

2:29 -No, I know w...

2:32 What, this thing?

2:33 Oh, it's nothing.

2:35 A little fresh ink.

2:37 No biggie.

2:38 Okay, I'll bite.

2:39 A couple weeks ago, I go backpacking in the woods,

2:42 you know, just to get away from the noise.

2:45 And somehow, I get turned around.

2:47 Soon, I'm completely lost.

2:49 I'm thinking I might be a goner.

2:51 Spoiler alert— I find my way back to civilization.

2:54 And that's when this appears to me like a...a vision.

2:57 I'm sure people are gonna have a lot of questions about it.

3:00 So annoying.

3:00 Snorts] But it's fine, it's fine.

3:02 It's natural.

3:03 I get it.

3:03 You know, people are curious.

3:05 Standard practice, initialing the site

3:07 of injury to safeguard against any mix-ups,

3:10 make sure we know exactly where— Damn it.

3:14 Groans] Come on.

3:15 Nope.

3:16 Chuckles] Out of ink.

3:17 You know what?

3:18 Screw it.

3:19 Left femur, I'll remember.

3:20 -You sure?

3:21 -Oh, yeah.

3:21 I'll just remember.

3:22 Left femur is right— for surgery.

3:25 And the right femur— not right.

3:27 No.

3:27 That's...

3:28 Clears throat] Okay.

3:29 Forget that.

3:29 I'll just lock it in.

3:31 Left femur, left femur, left femur, left femur.

3:32 Clicks tongue] Okay, it's in there.

3:35 Uh, and we're talking your left, right?

3:37 One sec.

3:38 There's this rat that's learned how to do laundry.

3:40 It's preposterous.

3:41 -Oh, can I see?

3:42 I love that stuff.

3:43 -Oh, yeah.

3:44 Me, too.

3:44 He's about to fluff and fold.

3:46 Laughs] Yeah.

3:48 Hey, your charge nurse just gave you an assignment, slow poke.

3:51 -What the hell?

3:53 Okay, first of all...

3:54 [clears throat] ...it's Dr.

3:56 Bruce.

3:56 -Yeah.

3:57 Bruce.

3:58 Bruce the Moose.

3:59 -No.

3:59 -Big, dumb, and slow.

4:01 Get to work...Moose.

4:05 Thank you, Moose!

4:08 Laughs] -Uh, what are you laughing at?

4:10 -The moose thing.

4:12 Scoffs] -Everything went white.

4:15 Gasps] Maybe you died for a second.

4:17 -Did anyone grab my shoes?

4:18 They got blown right off my feet.

4:20 -By the lightning?

4:21 -Your shoes got blown off?

4:22 -It's not that big a deal.

4:23 -I heard when the current runs through you, it can be...stimulating.

4:28 That's what I heard.

4:29 -You know what?

4:30 That— stop, please.

4:31 You're pestering this poor gentleman.

4:33 And for no reason!

4:34 People almost die every day.

4:35 From lightning, from being lost in the woods...

4:38 -Yeah, but being struck by lightning is like one in a million.

4:41 -But [mumbles]— Wrong!

4:42 It's literally one in 15,000.

4:44 -Why do you know that?

4:45 -Because I looked it up recently.

4:46 Okay, the point is, it's not rare.

4:49 Alright, we all know someone who's been hit by lightning, right?

4:51 -Are we counting this guy?

4:53 -No, the doctor's actually right.

4:54 -Okay.

4:55 Thank you.

4:55 -I remember reading the statistic after I got struck the first time.

4:58 -The first time?

4:59 -You've been struck before?

5:01 -It came back to finish the job.

5:02 -Wouldn't last a day in the woods.

5:04 Look, at some point— and I don't want to victim blame here,

5:06 but if you're getting hit twice by lightning...

5:11 I mean, what's up with you?

5:13 -Oh, you can put your shirt back on.

5:15 -Nah.

5:15 I'm good.

5:16 -Okay...uh, well, your heart looks excellent.

5:19 No plaque, no evidence of a PFO.

5:22 -Stop it!

5:22 I'm blushing.

5:23 -Your muscle mass is really exceptional.

5:25 -Hey, come on.

5:26 What?

5:26 Stop filming this.

5:27 -As for your spine...

5:29 -Oh, wow.

5:29 That's gorgeous.

5:30 Yeah, look at that hot rod.

5:31 -Oh, no, no, this is just the stock image of a healthy spine.

5:34 This is your spine.

5:36 So, just over 10 degrees of curvature.

5:39 Nominal scoliosis, but absolutely nothing to be concerned about.

5:42 -Uh-huh.

5:43 Then, why is it red?

5:44 -Oh, that's just to highlight the deviation from the norm.

5:46 Again, it's really not a big deal.

5:48 -Then, why use red?

5:49 Chuckles] Okay, I gotta ask.

5:51 What do you do with your cash, old man?

5:53 Just park it in the market?

5:55 ETFs?

5:55 You a Vanguard guy?

5:57 -Well, it's savings, so it's in my savings account.

6:00 -Oh, a savings account.

6:01 Okay, so like an old shoe, but in the bank.

6:04 Oh, that's adorable.

6:05 -Take a look at this.

6:06 I have had my eye on this massage chair for months, so each payday,

6:11 I take a little bit of my money, I put it in my chair fund.

6:15 And in 12 to 18 months...

6:16 -Yeah, I just bought one.

6:18 So, I'll put it in my home office so I can write it off.

6:21 -What?

6:21 Groans] Guys?

6:23 Guys, I might need a little help here.

6:24 -God.

6:25 Bruce!

6:25 -What happened?

6:26 -I don't know.

6:27 Um, I think...

6:28 -Sit, sit, sit.

6:29 -I think I was attacked.

6:30 Someone just came up from behind me, and uh,

6:32 he hit me in the back of the head and knocked me down.

6:35 -Well, his head wound seems superficial.

6:37 Let's check him for a concussion, just in case.

6:39 -I just don't understand how this could have happened.

6:42 -It's alright, Bruce.

6:42 You're not the only one.

6:43 This has been happening more and more often.

6:45 -Yeah, but my reflexes are way above average.

6:48 Definitely above everyone here.

6:49 -Okay, he seems fine.

6:51 Sighs] -Thanks, Brandon.

6:53 -Alright, alright.

6:53 Mine next, mine next.

6:54 Uh, this is a very thoughtful gift

6:57 for my little Dorito-loving friend here, so...

7:02 -Hi, Matt.

7:02 On behalf of the entire Frito-Lay family, I want to wish you a happy birthday.

7:06 Stay snackin'.

7:07 -Oh, wow!

7:09 Chuckles] I know.

7:10 -Who was that?

7:11 -Well, I, uh, figured that, as a Dorito freak,

7:13 you'd get a kick out of a message from the CEO of Frito-Lay.

7:17 Chuckles] Uh, but I couldn't get him,

7:19 so that's the coordinating manager of online ad sales.

7:22 Wow.

7:23 -Wow.

7:24 And Doritos are the, um, triangle-shaped chips, right?

7:27 -Yes, Matt.

7:27 You're obsessed with those.

7:28 You love those.

7:29 -Yeah.

7:31 -Bruce and Matty hitting the road.

7:32 Yeah, when I heard Matty's number got called, I knew I had to tag along.

7:36 I used to do these back when I was a young cub, and they were always insane.

7:39 -Ah, awesome.

7:40 -Yeah, a friend in med school had to reattach

7:41 a guy's thumb right there on the highway median.

7:44 -Wow.

7:44 -Yeah.

7:45 Added about an eighth of an inch in length.

7:46 -Why is that— why is that good?

7:48 -Well, guy's got a longer thumb now.

7:50 Yeah, this is where heroes are born, war stories immortalized.

7:54 Today, it's our turn, man.

7:56 Strap in.

7:57 -Awesome.

7:59 Oh!

7:59 Uh, should I take a Dramamine?

8:00 I've never looked backwards in a car before.

8:02 Sighs] -I'm gonna do some blood work, and then we'll check your blood pressure.

8:06 -Yeah, we know the drill.

8:07 We're doctors.

8:08 -Okay, sassafras.

8:09 -And just FYI, I'm not great with needles, so if we could just take it slow.

8:13 -You're already taking it too slow!

8:15 -It's okay.

8:16 Just look at me, Bruce.

8:17 I want you to listen to my voice.

8:19 I want you to look deep down into my eyes.

8:23 Do you see the tiny golden fleck floating around in the pool of my eye?

8:28 I want you to find it for me.

8:31 I need you to.

8:33 Do you see it, Dr.

8:35 Bruce?

8:36 -Yeah, I see it.

8:38 -And done!

8:38 Easy peasy mac and cheesey.

8:41 -What kind of sorcery...

8:42 Did you see that?

8:44 -Yep!

8:45 Here you go.

8:46 What's next?

8:48 -Bruce, your cardiac patient in 104 woke up.

8:50 She's asking for you.

8:51 -Ah.

8:52 Okay.

8:52 Well...

8:53 Clears throat] Here we go.

8:55 I had kind of an interesting morning.

8:56 Patient brought in, no pulse.

8:58 Gone 6 minutes, but somehow, I brought her back.

9:01 Uh, you should probably wait here.

9:03 It's kind of a personal moment.

9:05 Or you could pull back,

9:06 do one of those far-away shots where you're hiding and it's respectful, and...

9:09 You got it.

9:10 -Just so you know, she's pretty upset.

9:12 I guess she had a do-not-resuscitate order.

9:14 -Uh, do you know where Joyce is?

9:15 I need to speak to her.

9:16 There you are!

9:18 Hey, you can't be on break all day, Al, come on.

9:19 We really gotta move this lightning guy.

9:21 He's pulling focus from the whole floor.

9:22 -I am clearly busy!

9:24 Alright?

9:25 Hey!

9:26 is that my lunch?

9:28 Are you eating my [bleep] lunch?

9:30 Stammers][ Glass shatters] -Thanks for your help, everybody.

9:36 Thank you so much!

9:39 -Okay, so, lightning-guy-wise...

9:42 Uh, where did we land on that?

9:44 Found out I have some negligible curvature in my spine.

9:47 So, taking a few corrective measures.

9:49 No biggie.

9:50 -No way.

9:50 -Yeah.

9:51 -I have scoliosis, too.

9:52 -No!

9:53 My thing is different.

9:54 -I ordered something called a pelvic clock.

9:56 -We're not the same, Keith.

9:58 Oh, Sharice, could we get some chux pads in 12?

10:01 -Yeah.

10:01 -Great.

10:02 -Anything for the moose!

10:04 Laughter]-[ Laughs loudly] That's great.

10:07 That's great.

10:08 Though, not exactly sure that nickname has caught on, so...

10:11 -Moo-oo-oo-se!

10:12 Laughter]-[ Laughs loudly] We're all laughing.

10:16 Me the most.

10:18 Hey, Sharice, think we could get those chux pads today, ya big [bleep] moose?

10:23 Laughs] So many lives saved in here.

10:26 And many more lost, right where we're sitting.

10:29 Mmm.

10:29 Smell of death in the air.

10:31 -That's just an air freshener.

10:33 I click it onto the vent right here.

10:34 -Okay, let's just go.

10:35 Let's hit it, guys.

10:36 -You gotta buckle up.

10:37 -Uh, nah.

10:38 We'll rawdog it.

10:39 You know, gotta be ready to leap out.

10:40 -I'll normal-dog it.

10:41 -Not me, bud.

10:42 I eat danger.

10:43 Come on, let's go!

10:44 -We can't leave until you buckle up.

10:46 -What?

10:46 Seriously?

10:47 Oh, my God.

10:48 Clears throat] Okay, uh, we're all good back here.

10:53 -We gotta hear the click.

10:56 -Okay.

10:57 Click] There you go!

10:58 Let's go!

10:58 Hit the lights!

10:59 -We can't.

11:00 We had a whole meeting about it.

11:01 -Let's play some music, then.

11:03 -Nope.

11:03 Too distracting.

11:06 -There is just something about Kelly, you know?

11:09 I mean, goosebumps!

11:10 Feel this.

11:10 -No.

11:11 -I don't mind, really.

11:13 -Dr.

11:13 Leonard, I have your results.

11:14 So, your blood pressure came back just a teensy bit high.

11:17 With your age and cholesterol, we're going to need to do an echocardiogram.

11:21 -Well, I can't do an echocardiogram.

11:23 That's going to take at least an hour.

11:25 -Oof!

11:25 Tough break.

11:26 God, I can hang, though.

11:27 -Oh, you're free to go.

11:29 -Nah, I should stick around for moral support and emotional support.

11:32 I've been told I'm extremely emotional.

11:34 -Let's redo it.

11:34 I'm sure my blood pressure was a little high because

11:37 I've been so stressed out about missing my fishing trip.

11:40 -Oh, you're going fishing, right!

11:42 I thought those were your church clothes.

11:44 Okay.

11:45 -Bruce?

11:46 Bruce!

11:47 Bruce?

11:48 -Hey.

11:49 -What happened to Zoyng Coin?

11:50 I lost my whole ten grand.

11:51 -What?

11:51 You're still holding Zoyng?

11:53 From, like, this morning?

11:54 Oof!

11:55 Okay, you didn't get my Signal chat?

11:57 -The signal what?

11:58 No.

11:58 -Ron, I told you to zero out your Zoyng.

12:01 You held too long.

12:02 -What?

12:03 -Oh, my God.

12:03 Ten grand.

12:04 Woof.

12:04 -Yeah, but what about the...

12:06 Damn it, man!

12:08 -Still waiting on labs.

12:09 -That's interesting...

12:11 -Oh.

12:13 Here you go.

12:14 -He's using his thighs almost like a squat.

12:17 -Sorry, what?

12:17 -Hmm?

12:18 Huh?

12:18 Nothing.

12:19 No, just keep going.

12:23 -What are you doing?

12:24 -Just live your life, Matt.

12:25 Laughs] Oh, forget it.

12:27 Knock it off with the peacocking.

12:30 -Joyce Henderson, I'm the administrator here at St.

12:33 Denis Medical.

12:34 I'm also a licensed physician, but more importantly,

12:37 a fellow human being who is deeply sorry

12:40 that you did not get the care that you deserved.

12:43 You had a do-not-resuscitate order in place, and we did resuscitate.

12:48 -I am so sorry.

12:49 You know, honestly, I wish I wasn't such a gifted surgeon.

12:53 I tell you, if it had been one of my colleagues that had tried to revive you,

12:56 this would be a very different conversation.

12:58 Well, it wouldn't be a conversation at all.

13:00 It would be...

13:01 -Attention, everyone.

13:02 I have an announcement.

13:04 Bruce Schweitz is dead.

13:06 Gasps, murmurs] ...to us.

13:08 He's not "dead" dead.

13:09 I don't know why I said that.

13:11 But he is thinking of leaving us for Portland General.

13:14 And that's just fine with us because if he doesn't want us, we don't want him!

13:18 Carry on.

13:20 Click][ Feedback whining] Come on!

13:24 -Okay.

13:25 I see what she's doing.

13:26 Yeah, it's the old "dump him before he dumps me." Well, I'm not new to this.

13:30 It's literally how every one of my relationships ended.

13:33 Don't get too emo, okay?

13:35 But yeah, it looks like I'm headed for greener pastures.

13:38 Oh, it is going to be tough to leave you.

13:40 Some of you.

13:42 Stella, I know we've had this...

13:44 unacknowledged attraction.

13:44 I mean, you've acknowledged it in your own way.

13:46 -I have a boyfriend.

13:47 -And if he knew the psychosexual games we play, he'd end it all.

13:51 Dakota, if you can believe it, I'm gonna miss you, too, dude.

13:55 -Dude is a gendered term, so— -Okay.

13:56 Have a nice life, Dakota.

13:58 Brandon.

13:59 Chuckles] You dog.

14:01 Good luck with the ladies.

14:02 -What?

14:03 -Bruce!

14:04 I came as soon as I heard.

14:05 -Oh, Matty, you got nothing to worry about.

14:08 As soon as I get set up at Port Gen,

14:10 I'll start laying the groundwork to bring you over.

14:12 Not right away.

14:12 Maybe 5, 10 years.

14:14 But then...

14:14 I'll get you a meeting.

14:16 Obviously, no promises.

14:17 You know, we don't do nepo hires at PG.

14:19 -Yeah, I-I'd want to earn it.

14:20 -And you will, buddy.

14:21 Okay?

14:22 You will.

14:24 -Years of aikido training.

14:27 Years.

14:27 -It's okay.

14:28 -No, it's not okay, Matt.

14:30 I wish he'd just finish the job and killed me.

14:33 -Bruce, don't say that.

14:34 -And you, Matt.

14:35 Yeah!

14:36 Laughing] I wish he'd killed us both!

14:37 -I wasn't even there.

14:39 Like— like this was a wheat thresher.

14:42 And then, I got bucked off a horse.

14:43 And this was from a cat that had the plague.

14:46 So, you know, they all have their own story.

14:47 It's a— it's sort of neat.

14:49 -Yeah, great story, cooking the halibut special.

14:52 -Mark of a badass chef.

14:53 You know, it comes with the territory.

14:54 It's a— it's a battle wound.

14:56 You know, you should own it.

14:58 -Yeah.

14:58 I guess it's kind of a cool way of looking at it.

15:00 -Wait, wait, wait, wait.

15:01 Hold on, hold on.

15:02 I just realized something.

15:05 Our imperfections tell our story.

15:08 -Yeah, that's what I was jus— -Matt, please.

15:09 I'm a surgeon, okay?

15:11 So, I twist and contort my body to save lives.

15:15 Oh, my God!

15:18 My spine's not deformed!

15:20 It's my...ugh, I don't know.

15:22 My battle wound.

15:23 Right?

15:24 -I just...

15:25 -Of course, you're not better than me!

15:28 Laughing] Oh, my God.

15:31 -What the...

15:32 Hey, don't do that!

15:34 -I wish I had a choice.

15:35 Whew.

15:37 Grunting] -What the hell are you doing, man?

15:41 -Suck it, Dave.

15:42 Some of us are heroes.

15:45 What?

15:45 Why is this window locked?

15:47 -Uh, I guess so people don't walk along the ledge and try to break in.

15:51 -Well, it's gonna take more than a locked window to stop Bruce.

15:56 Oh, two locked windows?!

15:57 Are you kidding me?

15:59 Alright, what if I, uh...

16:01 Oh, God!

16:02 Okay.

16:03 Wow.

16:04 It's pretty high up, actually.

16:05 -You okay, Bruce?

16:05 -Huh?

16:06 Yep.

16:06 I might take a step back towards you, okay?

16:09 -Okay.

16:11 Easy...

16:11 Exclaims] Oh, God.

16:14 Alright.

16:14 Great.

16:15 Good first step.

16:16 That was great.

16:17 -You know, Joyce said you could leave if you need to process the trauma.

16:20 -Oh, can I go process in a safe space?

16:22 -Yeah, I think that'd be the perfect kind of space.

16:25 -I was mocking you, man.

16:26 Bruce Schweitz doesn't do trauma.

16:28 I mean, I do trauma, like, job-wise.

16:31 I mean, in surgery, obviously— Matt, come on!

16:33 -I wonder who it was.

16:35 Oh, maybe that boat accident guy.

16:37 He seemed pretty mad when he left.

16:38 -He did?

16:39 Why?

16:39 I saved his leg.

16:40 -Yeah, but he was annoyed about the recovery time.

16:42 -Yeah, but that's not my fault.

16:43 -Yeah, but sometimes,

16:44 patients get mad and they're looking for someone to take it out on.

16:47 And you know, you're a pretty easy target.

16:48 -Right, a target...

16:49 -Yeah.

16:50 They can turn on us and just— snap.

16:52 -Mm!

16:54 Holy moly.

16:56 Have you guys seen Matt in glasses?

16:57 -Yes!

16:58 -Ay, chihuahua!

16:59 -I know, right?

17:00 Maybe I'll make a move at happy hour tonight.

17:03 -Ooh, yes!

17:03 You got to.

17:05 -Bruce, chill.

17:06 -You chill.

17:07 Holly's life sucks, okay?

17:08 This could be huge for her.

17:10 -What?

17:11 -Holly, focus.

17:12 This is it!

17:12 You gotta shoot your shot!

17:13 -Go get that farm boy D.

17:15 -Oh, my God, stop.

17:16 -Your babies will be so cute.

17:17 -Yes!

17:18 -Guys, come on.

17:19 It's just glasses.

17:20 -We don't agree with you.

17:22 Okay?

17:22 We all don't agree with you.

17:23 Chuckles] Oh, my God.

17:25 I think it's, like, the first time I've noticed his face.

17:28 -Bruce, you doing okay?

17:29 -I'm not scared.

17:30 What?

17:30 Because of what happened earlier?

17:32 No, no, not scared at all.

17:34 I don't even know why you'd ask that.

17:35 -Hey, Bruce.

17:36 Screams]-[ Groans] -They got pizza Combos?

17:43 Uh, yes, please!

17:45 Chuckles] -Give me a couple bucks.

17:46 -Yeah, juggling multiple dudes in my life is getting a bit tricky.

17:51 Matt used to have a big old crush on Serena.

17:53 Now, Steve's with her, and Steve's pretty mean to Matt,

17:57 so a part of me is almost like...

18:00 [inhales sharply] ...I'm not sure Matt will love that.

18:05 Hums] Your breakfast lasagna is gonna be here any minute.

18:09 You're gonna be glad you stuck around!

18:10 -Yeah.

18:10 Trust me, it sounds gross, I know, but it's a real crowd pleaser.

18:14 -Can you guys just leave so I can watch TV?

18:17 -Can I say one last thing, please?

18:19 -Okay.

18:20 -I've looked at your chart.

18:22 No chronic pain, no lifestyle restrictions.

18:25 You could still have some good years.

18:26 Can't you just try to frame this extra time as an opportunity?

18:30 -For what?

18:32 -Well, I mean, there are all kinds of new and exciting things out there.

18:35 -Like?

18:35 -You know what?

18:36 Check this out.

18:37 I was just reading about this.

18:39 An underwater hotel in the Maldives.

18:41 Psychedelic blues, and greens, and...

18:44 Wow, okay, it's $8,000 a night,

18:46 but you slap that on a credit card and what do you care?

18:49 -Oh, well, that does look fun.

18:51 Chuckles] There you go!

18:52 -It does, doesn't it?

18:53 -Who would I go with?

18:54 My kids?

18:55 -Yeah!

18:56 -That sounds great.

18:57 -I don't have kids.

18:58 Oh, maybe my husband.

19:00 -Yes!

19:01 -It's a trap.

19:01 -It is.

19:02 -Gotcha.

19:02 -Look.

19:03 That's okay.

19:04 I don't have kids or a partner, either.

19:06 In fact, I just broke off my engagement, and I'm doing just fine.

19:09 -At your age?

19:11 Oof.

19:12 Listen, I have no one.

19:14 I worked like crazy for years.

19:16 And then, I looked up and my life was empty.

19:19 But it was too late to do anything about it.

19:22 Do you have any idea what that's like?

19:25 Huh?

19:25 -No.

19:28 No.

19:28 -Yikes.

19:29 You okay?

19:30 I mean, that must have been hard for you.

19:32 Workaholic, no husband, no kids.

19:34 I mean, she was basically describing your life.

19:36 -I'm sorry.

19:38 Didn't that sound a little bit like your life, too?

19:42 Scoffs] -No.

19:45 -Yes.

19:46 -Well, firstly, no broken ribs, so all good.

19:49 Second thing, don't sneak up on people, you nut.

19:53 -Ah, gotcha.

19:54 Sorry.

19:55 Are you sure this doesn't have anything to do with the attack?

19:57 Like, maybe it's affecting you more than you think?

20:00 -Oh, yeah!

20:00 You got me, Matt.

20:02 All day long, I've just been churning about what's happened to me.

20:04 Chuckles] Everyone's a threat!

20:06 What?

20:07 Is that what you think?

20:08 -Uh, I don't— I don't know.

20:10 -I don't think I can do this anymore, alright?

20:12 And my self-worth is in this job,

20:13 so if I don't have this, I don't have anything!

20:17 I'm scared, Matt.

20:17 Help me.

20:18 -Wow.

20:18 -I'm kidding!

20:19 That's what you're saying.

20:21 -Wow.

20:22 Laughing] That's literally what you just said.

20:24 Both laugh nervously] Hey, pal, how you doing?

20:31 -Not good, man.

20:33 Zoyng Coin crashed and I lost everything.

20:35 -Well, you really got to be more careful with that stuff.

20:38 Hey, I tell you what, I'm gonna have my massage chair shipped

20:42 to your house so you don't hold this against me.

20:43 -Oh, Bruce, you don't have to do that.

20:45 -I insist.

20:46 Alright?

20:46 You're my friend.

20:48 And I made a killing on Zoyng Coin.

20:51 Cellphone chimes] There.

20:52 I mean, you'll have to pay the— you know, redirection fee...

20:55 if there are stairs, it's gonna be— but it's the least I can do.

20:58 Wait.

20:59 I just wanted to quickly bark at you, big dog.

21:01 Hey!

21:01 Dakota, I got you!

21:03 Stop covering your sensor!

21:05 That's cheating!

21:06 -I'm not covering!

21:07 -It's a game!

21:08 Just play by the rules and have fun!

21:11 God!

21:11 So, yeah, look, I know you're not Matt's biggest fan, but uh,

21:15 I just thought you should know between us

21:17 that Matt actually used to have feelings for Serena.

21:20 -Get outta here.

21:21 -No.

21:22 -Really?

21:23 Matt?

21:23 -Yeah.

21:24 So, uh, you know, this might just be a little weird for him.

21:27 You might want to tamp down the PDA on his birthday.

21:30 You know, I think those feelings ran pretty deep.

21:32 Know what I mean?

21:33 -Got it.

21:34 -Yeah.

21:37 -Hey.

21:38 -Hey.

21:39 Sighs] That Pam.

21:41 Chuckles] She's a real firecracker, huh?

21:44 -Yeah.

21:44 They don't— they don't make 'em like that anymore.

21:47 -Nope.

21:47 They sure don't.

21:48 -Yeah.

21:48 Yeah.

21:48 You know, she can be, um...

21:51 a little...

21:53 -She [bleep] sucks.

21:54 -She sucks!

21:55 -Oh, my God!

21:55 -She's cruel.

21:56 I forgot how cruel she was.

21:57 She's making everybody miserable.

21:58 -Yeah, how about I give her a nickname?

22:00 See how she likes it.

22:00 -Yeah.

22:01 Yeah!

22:01 -Miss [scoffs] fart?

22:02 -Oh.

22:02 -Uh, I don't know.

22:03 Has she ever farted?

22:04 -Oh, I am sure she's farted.

22:05 -Right?

22:06 She'd have had to.

22:07 -Yeah.

22:07 -Yeah.

22:07 She's sick.

22:08 -Pam is awful.

22:08 -Oh, God.

22:09 -Okay.

22:09 Everyone hates her.

22:10 It's because she sucks!

22:11 -Yes!

22:11 -Hey, Pam.

22:12 They're asking for you in 2.

22:14 Indistinct chatter] -Dancing in the middle of the day?

22:20 I've got to say, Bruce, you've got some moves.

22:23 -Well, you— you...

22:24 look like you did not care what anyone thought.

22:27 I envy that kind of confidence.

22:29 Crazy idea— what if we brought Eleanor down there?

22:32 -Oh, yeah.

22:32 She might get something out of it.

22:34 -I thought so, too.

22:35 You know, dance is a central component of many indigenous ceremonies.

22:39 -Absolutely, absolutely.

22:40 -Cardiogenic shock.

22:41 Dr.

22:42 Andrews is gonna call it, shouldn't be long.

22:44 -Oh.

22:45 -Huh.

22:46 -Well, that's...that's good.

22:49 Right?

22:50 -Yeah.

22:50 No, yeah.

22:51 That's what she wanted, so...

22:53 -Okay.

22:54 -You know, I'm just gonna wait here until she goes.

22:57 -Of course.

22:58 Um, you know what?

23:00 I'm gonna...just stick with you.

23:03 It's good to have company, huh?

23:05 -Yeah.

23:09 Just so you know, nothing is ever going to happen with us.

23:14 Sighs] -You're gonna need a triple bypass.

23:19 -How soon?

23:20 -It's kind of a...

23:22 "how's your week looking?" type of thing.

23:25 -I'll do it.

23:27 -What?

23:28 -I'll perform the surgery.

23:30 It should be me.

23:31 -You're not a heart surgeon, so that makes no sense.

23:34 -Well, with all due respect, Dr.

23:35 Emerson, I think it's up to Ron.

23:37 -That's insane.

23:37 -Fair enough.

23:38 I'll assist.

23:39 -No.

23:39 -Well, then, I'll watch from the hallway.

23:41 You can't stop me.

23:42 You're not allowed.

23:43 -That's fine.

23:46 -Hey, it's gonna be okay.

23:49 What is it, her voice?

23:50 Her hair?

23:50 The way she pronounces "ex-specially"?

23:52 -No.

23:53 Holly's fine.

23:54 I just don't see Matt going for her.

23:56 -Huh.

23:57 Interesting.

23:58 Okay, uh...

23:59 -Sharice?

24:00 -For Matt?

24:02 -Ohh, okay.

24:04 So, you'd prefer Matt to go for, like, more of a Serena type?

24:09 -What?

24:11 No, no, that wasn't what I'm saying at all.

24:12 -So, just to recap, when Matt was crushing on you, you weren't interested,

24:16 but now that Holly wants him,

24:17 it's "hands off my man."[ Chuckles] Very "Vampire Diaries." -Oh, my God.

24:23 Stop trying to get me to watch that show.

24:26 -I'll get my stuff.

24:29 You know, you turned out to be a real turd.

24:31 By the way, I heard everything you said about me.

24:34 -I don't care.

24:37 -Farewell, Madam Fart.

24:41 Sniffs] Roasted.

24:44 Alright, check this out.

24:45 Clears throat][ As David Attenborough] Here, we find a very rare species.

24:49 The nursius thirstius.

24:51 She's in her natural habitat doing...whatever nurses do.

24:56 But what is she distracted by?

24:58 There.

24:59 Ah, the male nurse.

25:01 Weak and pale, his spectacles make him irresistible to the female in heat.

25:06 -What are you doing, freak?

25:08 -We've spooked her.

25:09 An outburst of hostility like this, when threatened,

25:11 is typical for the—[ Normal voice] Hey!

25:14 Dude!

25:14 That almost hit my eye!

25:16 -So, I heard you're going with a no-touch vein harvest for Ron's surgery.

25:20 Nice.

25:21 Classic.

25:21 -Yep.

25:21 Pretty standard at this point.

25:23 -Yeah.

25:23 For sure, for sure.

25:24 And I assume you've read Dr.

25:26 Hayashi's study on increased risk of graft failure.

25:28 -No.

25:28 Why?

25:29 What did it say?

25:30 -Ah, it was paywalled, so I didn't...

25:32 But the headline was pretty— -Bruce.

25:33 -Yeah.

25:34 -I need to catch up on notes and prep for Ron's procedure later,

25:36 so if you could, please...

25:37 -Whoa, whoa, whoa.

25:38 The surgery's today?

25:39 -Yes.

25:40 And I'm behind on paperwork 'cause I was

25:42 out of town at my sister's bachelorette all weekend.

25:44 -Oh, okay.

25:44 Bachelorette.

25:45 Nice.

25:45 Where'd you go?

25:46 -Vegas.

25:47 -I'm sorry.

25:48 Vegas as in Las?

25:50 -That's the one.

25:51 Anyways, I'm sure you have some more social cues

25:53 to not pick up on, so I'll leave you to it.

25:57 -Sin City— not really a destination known

25:59 for a good night's sleep and getting your head right.

26:02 God knows what drugs Emerson was snorting

26:04 off a stripper's gyrating pelvis at 5:00 a.m.,

26:07 and now she's going to operate on Ron— my Ron?

26:11 Over my dead body.

26:12 Or Ron's if I don't get to the bottom of this.

26:16 -Even if you win this game, Serena's still gonna be with me.

26:19 -What?

26:20 What are you talking about?!

26:22 Laser zaps] -Dude, what are you doing?

26:26 We're on the same team!

26:28 -No, we're not, brother.

26:30 No, we're not.

26:33 Laser zaps] That was for you, Matt!

26:36 -Who was that?

26:38 Keith?

26:38 -What?

26:38 Keith?

26:39 Are you kidding me?

26:40 Exhales deeply] This is so embarrassing.

26:43 I was supposed to be the hero today, and now I'm being rescued?

26:45 All because I'm...

26:47 Well, not scared, you know.

26:49 Just jammed up.

26:51 -Hey, I get scared all the time.

26:52 -Jammed up, I said.

26:53 -I'm just trying to tell you, people already look up to you.

26:55 You know?

26:56 People already see you as a hero.

26:57 You don't have to walk around pretending to be brave all the time.

27:00 -Oh, I walk around pretending?

27:01 What about you?

27:02 -Hey, why are you mad at me?

27:03 -It's called lashing out, Matt.

27:05 -I'm trying to help.

27:06 -Yeah, well, you're the pretender.

27:07 You are!

27:08 "Oh, I'm so scared of an ambulance." "I'm so

27:10 scared of life." "I'm scared to pursue Serena." -What?

27:13 Serena?

27:13 I don't— I don't like her like that anymore, man.

27:16 -Matty...

27:16 -I don't!

27:17 I don't.

27:17 -Matty!

27:18 -We're friends.

27:18 -Hey!

27:18 You can lie to the world.

27:19 You can lie to yourself.

27:21 But don't lie to Bruce.

27:22 Not right before we both fall to our deaths.

27:25 -What does it matter, anyway?

27:27 We're clearly not a match.

27:29 -Stop that!

27:29 Enough with the sad sack act.

27:30 You know, I'll admit, you had me fooled.

27:32 I used to think you were weak, too— in body and mind.

27:35 But look at you.

27:36 Your mind is strong.

27:37 You crushed it today.

27:39 And now, you're out here risking your life,

27:40 all for the sake of your mentor and role model?

27:42 You're strong, Matt.

27:44 And we can work on the body.

27:45 -Okay.

27:46 -The point is, if you're feeling jammed up about Serena,

27:49 maybe take a walk on that ledge.

27:52 -Huh.

27:54 -Well, I tried to do things the right way.

27:56 I questioned Emerson directly, I went up the chain of command,

28:00 I threw candy at her.

28:01 Well, now, I got to take matters into my own hands,

28:03 as have so many heroes from history.

28:05 A hair sample will show everything in Emerson's system.

28:09 Now, don't ask me how I got it, but let's just say that I have friends who

28:13 are always down to do old Brucey a favor.

28:16 Okay, guys, I'm gonna take off.

28:19 Bruce is loose, alright?

28:20 Unless...anybody has anything they want to ask before I, uh...

28:26 Anything at all?

28:29 Okay.

28:30 -Tell me about the tattoo, Bruce.

28:32 -So, I'm lost in the woods.

28:33 I can hear the parking lot.

28:35 -Huh.

28:35 So weird.

28:37 The lab just e-mailed me my full drug panel results?

28:40 -Huh.

28:40 That is so weird.

28:42 Geez.

28:43 What did it say?

28:44 All negs, nothing pos?

28:45 -So, you don't know anything about this?

28:47 -No, I don't, I'm sorry.

28:49 -See, that's funny 'cause it says ordered by Dr.

28:52 Bruce Schweitz.

28:53 -Well, you just tricked me there, so I think that makes us even.

28:56 -Alright, I'm so over this.

28:58 Are you seriously questioning my integrity?

29:00 -Look, I had to make sure that, you know, you were on top of your game today.

29:04 Vegas, the Jabbawockeez...

29:06 -I would never compromise a patient's safety.

29:08 -I know.

29:09 How could you even say— -I can't lose Ron.

29:11 Okay?

29:13 I-I-I mean, I like the guy.

29:15 We're close.

29:15 And I've lost people close to me, and it sucks,

29:18 and I don't want to go through that again, so I'm sorry, but...

29:23 I had to check.

29:27 Knock on door] Hey.

29:29 Burning the midnight oil?

29:31 -It's 4:30.

29:32 Chuckles] I've been traveling all day, so I lost all sense of time.

29:37 Hey, these rats are nice, huh?

29:41 When'd you do that?

29:42 Warm touch...

29:43 -They're possums, and I did it 9 years ago.

29:46 -Nueve años.

29:49 Um...

29:49 Clears throat, splutters] Well, I am gonna miss this old broad.

29:53 Yeah.

29:54 Well, it's been fun.

29:56 Just wanted to say...

29:59 -Gonna have a heck of a time replacing you.

30:01 -Ah, you're gonna be fine.

30:05 -Yep.

30:05 -Yep.

30:06 -Yep.

30:07 -Yep.

30:08 -Yep.

30:11 -Five grand.

30:14 -What?

30:15 -You offered me two grand.

30:16 I'm countering.

30:17 Five grand.

30:20 -I can do three.

30:22 -Four?

30:23 -Do three and uh...

30:25 Three.

30:26 -Yeah.

30:26 Deal.

30:27 -Deal.

30:28 -Yeah.

30:30 Chuckles][ Exhales sharply] Alright.

30:39 Yeah, Portland General was crushed.

30:41 But uh, for better or worse, I'm attached to this place.

30:45 You know, and the people here need me.

30:47 Heck, if I left, think about Keith.

30:49 There's no way he makes it through the year.

30:51 Oh!

30:52 Chuckles] Alright, buddy.

30:54 Alright.

30:55 -I'm so glad you're staying.

30:57 -Yeah.

30:57 Me, too.

30:58 Hey, get outta here, you chipmunk!

31:00 -Love you, Bruce.

31:01 -Love you, Matty.

31:06 Uh, alright.

31:06 Uh, should we get one where Matt doesn't [bleep] up the take?