Trump and Putin Hold 90-Minute Phone Call

0:01 Good evening, everybody.

0:01 I'm Seth Meyers.

0:02 This is "Late Night." We hope you're doing well.

0:04 And, now, if you don't mind, we're gonna get to the news.

0:05 During an Oval Office event yesterday,

0:07 President Trump said that in order to become an astronaut, quote,

0:11 "You have to do a lot of things

0:14 physically good." And added that he would have quote,

0:17 "No trouble making it." Oh, yeah.

0:19 You're the picture of health.

0:21 I'm surprised you don't need an oxygen tank on Earth.

0:27 President Trump spoke on the phone yesterday

0:30 with Russian President Vladimir Putin for roughly 90 minutes.

0:33 Until finally Putin said,[ As Putin] "Okay, I think I've heard enough about

0:40 ballroom." Britain's King Charles and Queen Camilla,

0:42 yesterday visited Rockefeller Center.

0:44 So, no, Wally, I don't believe you brought that from home.

0:48 Why?

0:51 Laughter] There's an extra fun part

0:59 of "The Monologue." Not for you guys at home,

1:01 but for people in the audience now have realized that Wally's wearing a crown.

1:06 He won't be able to take it off for a while.

1:09 Laughter] President Trump reposted an image yesterday on Truth Social,

1:14 The Strait of Hormuz renamed as the quote,

1:16 "Strait of Trump." Seems like a perfect

1:19 name for it considering it's completely shut down.

1:25 In a post yesterday on Truth Social,

1:27 President Trump defended the Justice Department

1:29 filing charges against former FBI Director

1:31 James Comey for posting a picture of 86 47 written in seashells.

1:37 And said that quote, "86 is a mob term for 'kill him'." Plus,

1:41 everyone knows the most dangerous mobsters communicate exclusively by seashell.

1:47 As mobster] I've gotta get a message to our friends in Philly.

1:51 Help me rinse these off.

1:53 Laughter] President Trump's to rally Miami Golf Club

1:58 recently put up a 15-foot-tall gold statue of Trump.

2:02 Well, at least we can rest easy knowing

2:04 that eventually Tiger Woods will crash a car into it.

2:09 Laughter] Donald Trump, Jr.

2:14 and his fiancée Betina Anderson are reportedly waiting for the Iran War to end

2:19 before getting married because they're worried about

2:21 the optics of a glamorous event during wartime.

2:23 Oh, don't worry.

2:24 It won't be glamorous.

2:25 He's already asked the band if they know

2:29 the theme from "Entourage."[ Laughter] That's right, Donald Trump, Jr.

2:35 and his fiancée are waiting for the Iran War to end before getting married.

2:39 because they're worried about the optics of a wedding during wartime.

2:42 Sounds like somebody's trying to get out of it.

2:45 Yeah, babe, we'll get married as soon as there's world peace.

2:51 A New Jersey pizzeria was robbed last month three times in four

2:55 days because in Jersey those have more money than the banks.

3:01 Laughter] Don't dismissively shake your head wearing that crown.

3:08 Oh, New Jersey Wally didn't care for that one.

3:15 Put a crown on and all of a sudden he thinks he has the right to judge the joke.

3:20 I also know it didn't go well.

3:21 I don't need to see you going...

3:24 Laughter] -It's different with the crown on.

3:28 Yeah, no, we all feel different.

3:31 And, finally, according to a new survey,

3:33 30% of respondents said that they have removed a friend

3:36 or family member from a group chat in last year.

3:40 And for those who aren't in a family group chat, it was you.

3:45 And that was "The Monologue," everybody.

3:49 Here we go.

3:49 We've got a great show for you tonight.

3:51 You know him from hit shows like "Big,

3:53 Little Lies," "Parks And Rec," "Severance." Currently,

3:56 he's in "Hokum," which is in theaters nationwide May 1st,

3:59 the fantastic Adam Scott is back, everybody.

4:02 Cheers and applause] She's an incredible actress.

4:06 You know from films like "Cape Fear," "Natural

4:08 Born Killers." Shows like "Yellow Jackets" and "Welcome

4:10 to Chippendale." She's making her Broadway debut in "The Rocky

4:14 Horror Show" at Studio 54 in New York.

4:17 Juliette Lewis is also back on the show.

4:20 We're so excited...

4:21 about both of our guests.

4:24 Before we get to all that, Donald Trump

4:26 posted an unhinged meme of himself with an assault

4:29 rifle threatening Iran as oil prices soared

4:31 to their highest point since the war began,

4:34 and Pete Hegseth was grilled by Congress about

4:36 the administration's failure to reopen the Strait of Hormuz.

4:39 For more on this.

4:40 It's time for "A Closer Look".

4:45 Say what you will about Donald Trump, but one thing we can all agree on is

4:49 that he is an empathetic person with a high emotional IQ.

4:53 Don't laugh.

4:54 He knows when to tread lightly, and he treats everyone with dignity and respect.

4:58 Bear with me.

5:00 Like when he was in the Oval Office yesterday with the NASA administrator,

5:04 a billionaire who got the job because he's friends with Elon Musk.

5:07 And sure, Trump had a falling out with Elon,

5:09 but that doesn't mean he'll take it out on Elon's friends.

5:12 In fact, Trump went out of his way to make his billionaire NASA

5:15 buddy feel welcome by avoiding any

5:18 potentially awkward remarks about his personal appearance.

5:21 -Are you considering relocating NASA's headquarters out of DC?

5:25 Once the lease is up, states like Texas, Ohio and Florida.

5:29 -Well, the best man to tell you that is the man sitting right over here.

5:32 You heard that question with those beautiful ears of yours?

5:35 He's got great hearing, you know, super.

5:38 -He's got super hearing.

5:39 -Trick of the trade, Sir.

5:41 Laughter] -The [bleep]?

5:43 Don't call him out on camera!

5:47 Dude's in the Oval Office with the President of the United States

5:49 for what I'm sure is one of the most memorable milestones of his life.

5:52 And Trump decides to turn it

5:54 into the "Comedy Central Roast Of This [Bleep] Guy"?

5:58 As Trump] Quick ask him your question before he flaps his ears and flies away.

6:03 You know, he used to carry the feathers so he could fly,

6:06 but then it turned out— it turned out he never needed the feather.

6:10 He never needed it.

6:12 This poor guy.

6:13 Although I bet Trump actually believes he has super hearing.

6:15 When Trump first met him, I guarantee he asked if he's an X-Man.

6:21 As Trump] Are you a mutant?

6:22 Because we already have one of those.

6:25 As Robert Kennedy] I ate a raccoon testicle

6:27 and it gave me the power of night vision.

6:32 Laughter] Also, let me just say to the camera operator, how dare you?

6:37 You did my man— Why the zoom?

6:41 Who's doing cameras for CNN now?

6:43 Is it whoever used to direct "The Office"?

6:47 Don't zoom in on a physical feature right after someone makes fun of it.

6:51 I'm sorry, Wally, I can't see the cue cards.

6:53 -You can't?

6:55 They're almost as big as your forehead.

6:56 -What?

6:58 Audience boos, laughs] Oh, I'm sorry,

7:01 I should point out we now share a camera operator with CNN.

7:04 He's real sassy.

7:06 But when Trump isn't mocking other people's appearances,

7:08 he's focused on his own.

7:10 Not in real life, but in memes.

7:12 -President Trump delivering another social media threat to Tehran.

7:16 This middle-of-the-night post featuring what appears

7:18 to be an AI-created image of Trump

7:21 holding a rifle amid a backdrop of explosions with the words, "No More Mr.

7:26 Nice Guy!" -What appears to be.

7:31 Laughter] I don't think he went into his backyard.

7:38 I'm sorry.

7:38 Is this supposed to make you look cool?

7:40 Sorry, man, but you're not John Wick.

7:41 This looks like one of those movies where a bunch of old

7:44 guys break out of their retirement home to do one last bank robbery.

7:48 But the craziest, craziest part of this meme is when Trump posted it.

7:52 4:05 a.m.

7:55 that's the most unhinged time to post anything,

7:57 let alone a meme of yourself as some

7:59 sort of super soldier blowing up an entire country.

8:01 I mean, even if you just got a text from a friend at 4:05 that said,

8:05 "Hey, what's up?" You'd immediately write back,

8:08 "Is everything okay?" And they'd say, "I just heard you wake up." And you'd say,

8:10 "How did you hear that?" And they'd say, "I have super hearing!"[ Laughter] Now.

8:17 No, no.

8:20 If it worries you that this is the man

8:23 in charge of our military at a time of war, let me put you at ease.

8:26 There are plenty of adults in the room, experienced military leaders,

8:29 tacticians who have studied the history of armed conflict.

8:32 And they know how to get us out of this.

8:34 -Singer Kid Rock joined Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth

8:37 for a ride along in Army helicopters yesterday.

8:40 Hegseth posted photos calling Kid Rock a patriot.

8:43 -I mean, we're so [bleep]!

8:45 I mean, why is Kid Rock going for a joyride

8:48 in an Army helicopter and addressing members of the military?

8:51 Oh, no.

8:51 Is this going to be the new military uniform?

8:55 I mean, don't get me wrong, it's great camouflage.

8:57 Except the only place you can hide is one of those roadside firework stores.

9:01 Trump's getting increasingly desperate when it comes to Iran,

9:03 because for weeks now,

9:05 he's been bull [bleep] us and claiming the war he started with no exit strategy.

9:10 is basically over.

9:12 -You know, you never like to say too early, you won, we won.

9:14 We won the bet.

9:15 In the first hour it was over.

9:17 We've had total regime change.

9:18 You can call it what you want, but I call it regime change.

9:21 And I think most people are giving us credit for that.

9:23 Well, they're agreeing with us on— on the plan.

9:26 I mean, we asked for 15 things.

9:28 It seems to be going very well in the Middle East with Iran.

9:31 -President Trump saying he expects a swift deal with Iran,

9:34 possibly in the next day or two to end the war.

9:36 He also just told CBS News Iran has agreed to everything.

9:39 Those are his words.

9:41 -We have a very good relationship with Iran right now.

9:43 As hard as it is to believe.

9:45 -It is hard to believe.

9:47 You just threatened Iran with a meme

9:50 of yourself starring in "The Bourne Stupidity".

9:53 That's not a good relationship.

9:54 Here's what makes a good relationship...consistency.

9:56 You are all over the place.

9:58 You're like a husband walking in at the end of the day saying,

10:00 "Hey honey, it's good to be home, but it's better to be at work,

10:02 because you're not there and I can't stand your guts.

10:05 But I love your face.

10:06 And I love it most when you're crying because I'm happy when you're sad.

10:09 I'm also sad when I'm happy because you have to be alive to feel happy.

10:12 And I wish I was dead." We have a good relationship.

10:17 Trump keeps waffling between deal maker and madman

10:19 because he doesn't know which one will work, and he's just grasping at straws.

10:23 He started a war he reportedly thought would be quick,

10:25 and now he can't figure out how to end it.

10:27 Right now, his team is trying this bizarre strategy

10:30 of blockading Iran's blockade of the Strait of Hormuz,

10:33 a strategy that is getting mocked by Congress.

10:36 -How is this war going?

10:37 Do you think we're winning?

10:38 -Militarily on the battlefield?

10:40 It's been an astounding military success.

10:42 -No, but are we winning the war?

10:44 -Absolutely.

10:44 -Okay.

10:46 So do you call Iran closing the Strait of Hormuz winning?

10:48 -Well, I would say the blockade that we hold that doesn't

10:51 allow anything to come in or out of Iranian ports— -Okay,

10:54 so we've— so we've blockaded their blockade.

10:57 So they blockaded us, and then we blockaded their blockade.

11:00 That's like saying, "Tag, you're it." Or, you know,

11:03 if President Madison had said, well,

11:05 the British just burned down Washington, but don't worry,

11:07 we're going to burn it down as well.

11:08 -I mean, that is what they're doing.

11:11 Have you seen the east wing of the White House?

11:13 The redcoats could have never dreamed

11:15 of doing this much destruction to Washington, because the only thing worse than

11:18 a burned-down building is one mid-construction.

11:22 In British accent] General, I have an idea.

11:23 Perhaps instead of burning down the building, we just knock out a wall,

11:26 dig a few holes here and there, and then just sort of leave it like that.

11:30 In deep voice] That is an excellent idea.

11:31 Do you have a man for the job?

11:33 In British accent] Yes,

11:33 he's one of our best redcoats because he also has the pants.

11:38 Laughter] -But at least...

11:42 Cheers and applause] -But at least Hegseth was laser focused on America's foes,

11:49 the Ayatollah and the Iranian regime.

11:52 Right?

11:52 That's the world leader he was most focused on, right?

11:55 -Reverse the four years of underinvestment and mismanagement of the Biden

12:00 administration because of the austerity of the Biden administration...

12:02 Joe Biden, Joe Biden, Joe Biden, Joe Biden, Joe Biden.

12:05 Joe Biden.

12:05 Was it Joe Biden?

12:06 The Biden administration, Joe Biden, by the way, Joe Biden, Joe Biden.

12:09 -You talk about Joe Biden more than Joe Biden talks about Joe Biden.

12:14 Joe Biden talks about Joe Biden a lot.

12:16 And at least Biden could pull off a pair

12:18 of aviators without looking like an off-brand Terminator.

12:22 Trump's strategy of blockading Iran's blockade isn't helping anyone.

12:25 We're just hurting ourselves.

12:27 Gas prices are still soaring and so are prices for pretty much everything else.

12:31 -Tonight, no official talks.

12:32 The Strait of Hormuz remains closed, and gas prices here in the U.S.

12:35 marking a new high tonight.

12:37 Now at their highest point in four years.

12:39 And of course, it's not just gas.

12:41 It's diesel used to deliver goods

12:42 and groceries and the prices you're now paying.

12:44 -Gas prices today hit their highest level in four years.

12:47 The average price for a gallon of gas now $4.20.

12:51 That's up $1.26 since the start of the Iran war, with peace talks stalled,

12:56 and no sign that oil tankers will start

12:58 moving anytime soon through the Strait of Hormuz, oil prices are still climbing.

13:03 -I just talked to a veteran analyst, Andy Lipow,

13:05 and he said that in the next 7 to 10 days,

13:07 he thinks the national average will go to 4.25 to 4.30 a gallon.

13:12 -That's insane.

13:13 Gas is at its highest point since COVID,

13:15 and COVID was something we couldn't control,

13:17 though, based on the fact that Trump blockaded a blockade,

13:19 I wouldn't put it past him to try and bring COVID back,

13:21 so he had something to blame it on.

13:23 As Trump] Look who got out again.

13:26 You better not mess with our gas prices, you rascal, you.

13:30 And the crazy thing is,

13:31 gas prices were like the one thing Trump could actually brag about.

13:35 His proudest accomplishment.

13:36 The thing he's talked about more than anything else.

13:39 -Gasoline is less than $2 in many places...a gallon,

13:43 which nobody expected to see, but I did.

13:45 We had yesterday, three states where oil was at $1.99 a gallon.

13:51 I was in a beautiful place called Iowa two weeks ago,

13:55 $1.85 a gallon for gasoline.

13:59 When I visited the great state of Iowa just a few weeks ago,

14:03 I even saw $1.85 a gallon for gasoline.

14:08 We have people now getting gasoline for $1.99, $1.96, $1.95, $1.92 yesterday.

14:17 -He wants all of us to be so impressed.

14:19 He can keep listing numbers under $2.

14:23 As Trump] $1.90, $1.95, $1.92.

14:25 Get ready for this one.

14:27 If you think I've run out, I have it at $2.05.

14:30 [Bleep]!

14:30 Wait...$1.91.

14:34 Of course, none of this was a problem.

14:36 Before the war started, the Strait of Hormuz was open.

14:38 Tankers could sail through it with ease.

14:40 We did this to ourselves.

14:41 Although Trump's allies on Fox News really wish he would stop saying that.

14:45 -I wish the talking point of that the strait was open before the conflict.

14:50 People got to stop doing it.

14:52 It was a beautiful day the morning of 9/11.

14:55 -Sorry...

14:57 If you're ever thinking of comparing anything to 9/11,

14:59 a good rule of thumb is to just stop talking.

15:03 Especially since in that analogy, you made us 9/11.

15:06 In fact, that should be someone's job.

15:07 We should appoint someone to be on alert for bad 9/11 comparisons.

15:11 Someone who can hear those analogies, no matter where they are.

15:14 Someone in the world with super hearing.

15:16 Oh, I think I know the perfect man for the job.

15:18 There he is!

15:20 Cheers and applause] -You know,

15:21 for anyone who thinks it's mean, I keep doing that.

15:25 I don't care, there's nothing anybody can do to me.

15:27 Oh, they're zooming in again, aren't they, on my forehead?

15:29 All right, all right.

15:30 I learned my lesson.

15:32 Americans are furious with Trump's handling of both

15:34 the economy and the war in Iran,

15:36 which is why he keeps hitting new lows in polls.

15:38 But Trump doesn't care.

15:39 He's not listening.

15:40 That's why he needs someone with...

15:42 -Super hearing.

15:43 This has been "A Closer Look."♪♪