I Ate Nothing But Chili's for 1 Week

0:00 Chili's, an American institution for families, divorced dads that love Creed,

0:04 and stupid challenge creators like me that also love Creed.

0:07 Yesterday, my mom showed me my baby book,

0:09 and when asked if I was enthusiastic about eating, she wrote,

0:12 "Very." So, in a way, I was kind of born to eat nothing but chilies for a week.

0:16 And that's exactly what I'm doing for 21 straight meals

0:19 to see how good America's most popular casual restaurant chain really is.

0:23 I also appreciate everybody drinking Pepto-Bismol along in solidarity.

0:27 [music] Chili's has been around since 1975 when

0:31 it was founded in the Dallas, Texas area.

0:33 And it just so happened that I was in Dallas,

0:35 Texas because I was at the YouTube conference VidSummit

0:38 for a few days and was flying back to Cleveland that morning.

0:40 My first Chili's meal was at 6:00 a.m.

0:42 at the Dallas Fort Worth airport.

0:44 And yes, the only reason I scheduled a flight this early is

0:46 to show you that airport chilies don't abide by any laws or time.

0:49 They're open very early.

0:50 For meal one, I had a classic breakfast which just includes eggs,

0:54 sausage, patties, toast, and breakfast potatoes.

0:56 to my knowledge, which is very limited and ignorant.

0:58 I think Chile's airports are the only locations that serve breakfast.

1:02 Nothing crazy, but it was a solid breakfast that was prepared very quickly,

1:05 which is very much appreciated because I was running late for my flight and I

1:08 took a tram all the way over here from the other side of the airport.

1:11 Very on brand move for me.

1:12 The rules of this weekly eating challenge are

1:14 pretty much like the other weekly eating challenges.

1:16 I have to eat chili three times a day, 21 meals in a row.

1:19 I can drink anything I want outside of chili, and I will abuse that power.

1:23 And I don't know, third rule, have fun.

1:25 Don't drink as much Pepto-Bismol as the last video.

1:28 At the end of the video,

1:29 I'll let you know how much I spent here, what my favorite items were,

1:31 and anything else that I can think of that I'll shroud in mystery right now,

1:34 so you can continue to watch the video.

1:36 My stomach was not feeling good on my way back to Cleveland,

1:38 and I had heavily considered making today

1:40 a wash and starting the project tomorrow.

1:42 But, I kind of was just being a little

1:43 and these uh digestive problems are kind of good for the plot.

1:46 I'm going to take a nap right now and decide when I

1:48 wake up if I want to continue to eat chilies or not today.

1:51 Good night.

1:52 So, I just took a hot girl nap and decided

1:54 I would attack Chili's for meal two after that.

1:56 On the way to a nearby Chili's, I thought to myself, "Oh my goodness,

1:59 I think this is my first weekly

2:01 eating challenge that's at a sit-down restaurant." Oh my goodness.

2:03 I think this is my first weekly

2:04 eating challenge that's at a sit-down restaurant.

2:07 Hey, wow, I just said that.

2:08 The difference between sitdown restaurants and other restaurants that I've

2:11 done weekly eating challenges at that I'll call not sitdown restaurants.

2:14 Is at the sitdown restaurants, you sit down,

2:16 and at the notsdown restaurants, you don't have to sit down.

2:19 I just wasted like 8 seconds of your life.

2:21 You're welcome.

2:21 For meal two, I got the world famous triple dipper,

2:24 Chili's most popular menu item,

2:25 where you can choose three of their appetizer items for around $17.

2:29 I got the fried mozzarella,

2:30 Nashville hot chicken crispers, and their southwestern egg rolls.

2:33 [clears throat] I don't think I've been

2:35 to a non- airport chilis in an extremely long time.

2:37 And my expectations were pretty low.

2:39 But let me tell you, go off queen.

2:41 And this that queen is chili, by the way,

2:43 because chili went off because this meal shattered

2:45 my expectations like I shattered my gallbladder while doing it.

2:49 The cheese bowl and the mozzarella sticks was excellent and made me

2:51 look like an absolute idiot that I can't eat food, aka normal.

2:55 The Nashville hot chicken crispers had a nice kick and crunch to them.

2:58 And the southwestern egg rolls were so good that I told the chef to punch

3:02 me in the face to offset the joy I was feeling from eating them.

3:07 If it's not obvious, I did not say that.

3:09 After playing the table trivia and losing immediately,

3:11 I paid for my meal on the ZOS.

3:13 And this might actually be the first time I've

3:15 ever enrolled in a reward system for a restaurant.

3:18 very financially negligent, but again, very on brand for me.

3:21 I 100% was sleeping on chilies.

3:23 That was so good.

3:24 I will say though, it's going to be a long week.

3:28 It's going to be a long week.

3:29 This is going to be a long week full of fried bar food.

3:31 And since I have Achilles tendonitis, uh, cue the sentimental sound effect.

3:36 Thank you.

3:37 I'm going to have to get very creative and working

3:39 out this week to offset the bloatedness I'm going to feel.

3:42 I bought a bike recently and did a little over 20 miles.

3:45 I finished my ride at my favorite pub and since it was Friday,

3:47 I treated myself to an ice cold beverage before heading back [music] to Chili's

3:51 for the final meal of day one with my friend who was also named Joey.

3:54 And just to be clear, I was born first.

3:56 I'm not a poser.

3:56 For meal three, I got three chips and salsa and queso.

3:59 Shout out rewards points, their signature margarita,

4:02 and a half rack of baby back ribs with salad and mac and cheese.

4:05 Chili is also famous for their baby back ribs,

4:08 which they also have a lot of songs and jingles for.

4:10 to show you that song without getting copyrighted.

4:13 I'll make a shitty rendition of it right now.

4:15 I want my baby back.

4:16 Baby back baby back.

4:17 Baby back babys.

4:20 [singing and music] [singing] The ribs are okay.

4:29 Like it's not my favorite thing on the menu so far.

4:31 They're they're fine.

4:32 You can get better ribs at like almost any barbecue location,

4:35 but hey, at least the song is catchy.

4:37 The rest of my food was good, though.

4:38 A margarita from here always rips.

4:40 Dude, I can't believe you had dinner 2 hours

4:42 ago and then came to Chili's me, you[ __] menace.

4:45 I wouldn't miss choice for the world.

4:47 You There's always room in your stomach for choice.

4:49 I then walked my parents dogs to get some more

4:51 moving in before catching some Z's before a brutal day two.

4:54 That's foreshadowing.

4:55 After one day of Chili's activities,

4:57 including tip, I spent $83.76 on three meals.

5:02 I didn't know I was going to pay this much, to be honest.

5:05 I burnt 1,673 calories, which is above my goal of 1,500 calories burnt a day.

5:10 And my favorite item of day one was by far the southwestern egg rolls.

5:14 [music] There were three things stacked against me at the start of day two.

5:17 First, I finished my last meal of day one at around 900 p.m.

5:21 And Chili's doesn't open until 10:45 a.m.

5:23 So, at the very least, I would wait about 14 hours before eating again.

5:27 Second, it'd be way more than 14 hours today.

5:29 as I went out to a brunch where my cousin's daughter Summer,

5:31 whose three-year-old birthday party was that afternoon.

5:34 My cousins Kayla and Rob had an awesome layout of breakfast food,

5:37 including pizza, donuts, and coffee.

5:39 But I couldn't eat any of that because I timed this project extremely poorly.

5:44 Tough scenes.

5:44 I'm sorry that I can't eat any of your food

5:46 right now cuz I'm doing a dumb eating challenge again.

5:50 But it looks great.

5:51 Everything looks great.

5:52 Delicious.

5:52 So, I just drank three cups of iced coffee instead

5:55 and gave myself a[ __] ton of anxiety and also the sh

5:59 the family time is very important and it was nice to see

6:01 my cousins who always support me in my [music] YouTube videos.

6:03 Do you have anything to say to the YouTube audience?

6:06 What's up, gang?

6:07 Hello.

6:07 What you know, my brother Johnny was also playing hungry hungry hippos,

6:11 which was a great euphemism for how I currently felt.

6:14 Okay, that was a super fun birthday party.

6:17 Had a lot of Had a great time.

6:18 I'm very hungry though.

6:19 I haven't eaten yet and it's 2 o'clock, so let's go get some chilies.

6:23 My first meal of the day started at 300 p.m.

6:25 Do you guys notice that I said there were three things standing

6:28 in front of me and chilies and that I only listed two?

6:32 Okay, just wanted to say that.

6:34 What is this?

6:35 College?

6:37 What?

6:37 I woke up really late in college.

6:38 I got eight honey chipotle bone in wings.

6:41 And if you think boneless wings are better,

6:43 then maybe you should focus on coloring in the lines before arguing with me.

6:47 The wings were incredible.

6:48 No joke.

6:49 The sauce is some of the best I've tasted on wings.

6:51 Also, I don't clean off wings.

6:53 Very good.

6:53 It should be illegal that for me to eat wings.

6:55 I can say without a doubt though that this place might

6:57 as well be my kitchen floor because I've been sleeping on chilies.

7:02 Sorry.

7:02 Sometimes I take a little too much melatonin.

7:04 Holy cow, everybody.

7:06 I love that place.

7:07 I got a great lift in after this, which

7:09 is honestly a miracle because I hate lifting

7:11 and also working out during these eating challenges is

7:14 really difficult because I'm just having fried bar food.

7:16 I'll take some sympathy claps, please.

7:18 That was a very solid workout and now it's time

7:20 to negate everything I just did and go back to Chili's.

7:23 Okay, so I'm at Chili's right now and it's great,

7:25 but I kind of want to have some dicks.

7:28 My second meal of the day came 2 hours after my first meal at around 5:00 p.m.

7:32 and I got my favorite item from day one, the southwestern egg rolls.

7:35 But also, I got one of Chili's seasonal margs, the witches brew marg.

7:39 And I think ding ding ding,

7:40 we have a winner on my favorite seasonal marg of all time from Chili's.

7:44 If I had to rank all the seasonal margs I've had from Chili's,

7:47 it would be the witch's brew marg and that's it.

7:50 Yeah.

7:50 Southwestern egg rolls.

7:51 What can I say?

7:54 Oh, you want me to say something?

7:56 No, I'm not going to.

7:58 Another unbelievable meal at Chili's.

8:00 They're so good.

8:01 Hey guys, I'm kind of pissed off not one of you

8:03 watching this video told me I had anything in my teeth.

8:06 That's super embarrassing for me.

8:08 Next time, could you please not wait for someone else to say

8:11 something and just tell me I have something in my teeth?

8:13 My friend Tim and I were going to downtown

8:15 Cleveland to see British comedian Jimmy Carr perform.

8:17 And being the human genius that I am,

8:19 I decided to get a to- go meal after my last Chili's

8:22 meal so I wouldn't have to fret about eating after the show.

8:25 You're going to have to stick around to see what I ate for meal six.

8:28 All right, going to a comedy show.

8:30 Not going to film because I'm not that guy.

8:32 Um, but I'll let you know how it was after.

8:34 I can never be a comedian for reasons why.

8:36 Let's Let's revisit my baby book.

8:38 Does babies suck vigorously?

8:40 Yes, sometimes.

8:41 It's kind of not true because I suck all the time.

8:44 Tim, what did you think?

8:46 That was amazing.

8:47 That was That was like one of the funniest comedy shows I've ever seen.

8:50 I got back to my parents house to hang with the dogs and for meal six,

8:53 I had the Big Smasher Burger with salad and fries to go.

8:56 And I'm not just saying this, it's not recency bias.

8:58 I ate 20 burgers across the country.

9:00 That's a YouTube video I did.

9:02 The Big Smasher Burger from Chili's is one of the best

9:05 restaurant burgers I've ever had in my entire life.

9:07 I would have eaten like a fried boot at that point.

9:09 I was really hungry.

9:10 I was expecting it to be so average, but you guys, it was so damn good.

9:14 2 days into this week of the Chili's Takeover, I've spent $138.36.

9:20 There's a shot that this might be as expensive as when

9:22 I ate the world's most expensive Five Guys for [music] one week.

9:25 So, how about this?

9:26 After the video, I will reveal if Chili's was more expensive for a week

9:29 or if eating the world's most expensive Five Guys in Hawaii was.

9:33 I burned 1,276 calories.

9:35 A little under my goal, but we'll get back at it tomorrow.

9:38 My favorite item of the day was a toss

9:39 up between the Witches Brew and the Big Smasher Burger,

9:42 but I definitely had to lean towards the Big Smasher Burger.

9:45 What is better than not great, you ask?

9:47 I would say bad.

9:48 I would say bad is a little bit better than not great.

9:51 And that's what I was feeling like.

9:52 Bad.

9:53 Fortunately, I went to church that Sunday morning and asked

9:55 God to help me through this challenge or at least

9:57 give me some uh some clarity on what Laxative

10:00 Brand is going to do the best for me.

10:01 All right, church is great.

10:02 I love coming to church.

10:04 Now, it's time to go to Chili's, which I also love going to.

10:07 Let's get after it, ladies and gentlemen.

10:08 For meal seven in the first of day three,

10:10 I got the shrimp fajitas with some free chips and salsa.

10:14 That is I think my plate might be on fire.

10:17 My friend Justin came to eat and he's always prepared to eat because fun fact,

10:21 in high school we did a Taco Bell 12

10:23 taco challenge and he ate his 12 tacos so fast.

10:25 I'm not kidding you,

10:26 he started eating everybody else's tacos because they hadn't finished them

10:29 yet and he was banished from joining the competition the next year.

10:32 That's not a joke.

10:33 Also, pro tip.

10:34 If you're just by yourself or with one other person, go sit at the bar.

10:37 The bartenders are typically pretty nice

10:39 and you're going to get served pretty quickly.

10:40 You're welcome.

10:41 Good job.

10:41 We'll come back.

10:42 We'll come back.

10:43 We'll come back.

10:43 All right, we'll be back.

10:47 [music] The Browns lost a football game for the millionth time this season.

10:55 I'm not good at detaching mental health from my unstable football team,

10:58 so I was very upset per usual.

11:00 Even though I have Achilles tendonitis,

11:01 I was so mad at watching the Cleveland Browns.

11:03 I wanted to run away from my problems and see if I could run a mile.

11:06 And yeah, that was a terrible idea because my Achilles flared up again.

11:09 Thank you, Cleveland Browns.

11:10 This is somehow your fault.

11:11 Before walking back, I at least got to see a beautiful view over Lake Erie.

11:15 And hey, wouldn't chili go so hard right here.

11:18 For meal eight, I got another Big Smasher burger with fries and a Coke.

11:21 I'm I'm pretty sure I've had a Coke for like every meal I've had so far.

11:24 So, for some reason, uh this is the first time I listed in my notes.

11:27 My bad.

11:27 My parents used to give me a bunch of grief

11:29 for how messy of an eater I was as a child,

11:32 but they stopped when I became an adult and gave

11:34 up any hope that their son would eat politely.

11:36 There's not really much else to say.

11:38 This place is doing me pretty well.

11:42 It's going to get bad here in a couple days, though.

11:43 I know that.

11:44 Hey everyone, it's me here from the future.

11:46 It's not going to get bad in a couple days.

11:48 It's actually going to get bad in like uh 20 minutes.

11:52 Call me Lizo because it's about that time.

12:01 Tough scenes.

12:02 Hey everyone, it's me here from the future again.

12:04 I told you I then went on a 15-mi bike ride in some really tremendous weather.

12:09 [music] [music] The winter is coming in Cleveland, Ohio,

12:16 and I'm trying to take advantage of the nice weather.

12:18 Why are you doing that while I'm talking?

12:23 Small Fresh air is super good for the soul and it felt good to get

12:30 some cardio in, especially since again I'm having a lot of fried bar food.

12:34 For my last meal of the day,

12:35 I got the chicken bacon ranch quesadilla and a very controversial item,

12:39 the southwestern queso.

12:41 Okay, bag secured.

12:42 While the southwestern queso itself isn't super controversial,

12:46 what it replaced was very controversial,

12:48 which was the very popular skillet queso.

12:50 My neighbor Maddie is a devoted Chili supporter and she was so mad when

12:54 she heard the skillet queso was gone that she never went to Chili's again.

12:57 Even though I'm pretty sure that was a lie because I

12:59 just saw her with the to-go chili's bag 2 days ago.

13:01 The southwestern queso is not bad though.

13:03 The viscosity is a little runny.

13:05 The flavors there though, so we'll take it.

13:06 The quesadilla was fine.

13:08 It was kind of bland to be honest with you,

13:09 but the queso really took it over the top.

13:11 Please don't show this to my parents because the dogs are on a diet,

13:14 but I did feed them some chilies.

13:15 I then went to sleep peacefully that night,

13:17 but not before putting out a Cleveland Browns rant

13:19 because I was still angry from earlier that day.

13:22 What the[ __] ARE WE DOING?

13:23 THIS HAPPENS EVERY DAMN YEAR.

13:25 NINE MEALS IN AND I'VE spent $200.40.

13:29 Why is every food item on the planet expensive now?

13:33 If you thought Five Guys would ruin me,

13:35 wait till you see what happens when I triple dipper.

13:37 Hey yo.

13:38 But on a positive note, I burnt 1,897 calories today.

13:42 And my favorite item was probably the southwestern [music] queso.

13:48 Day four could not have started off any better as I got the closest

13:51 parking [music] spot at Chili's and I didn't have to flush twice this morning.

13:54 I wanted to eat something relatively healthier

13:56 than what I had the first three days.

13:58 So for meal 10, I got the chicken

13:59 enchilada soup and a Santa Fe grilled chicken salad.

14:02 The salads at McDonald's are not really healthy at all

14:04 and I think the the salads at Chili's might not be either.

14:07 I I assume anytime there's like green involved like health is in play.

14:10 But also, if something tastes good,

14:12 I automatically assumed it isn't healthy for you.

14:15 And this salad wasn't great, but it wasn't bad either, so I don't know.

14:18 I then got a coffee from the pharmacy.

14:19 Play.

14:20 Please stop booing me.

14:21 I'm tired.

14:21 I need energy.

14:22 Hey, how's it going?

14:23 It's Sir Yacht, the guy who's making this video right now.

14:25 Just wanted to check in.

14:26 I've done a lot of boring errands in the past 2 to three hours.

14:29 I even made a costume change.

14:31 Uh, I didn't feel like any of those boring

14:32 errands should be in the YouTube video, so I didn't record it.

14:35 For meal 11, later that afternoon, I got chips and salsa.

14:38 There's shrimp cajun pasta and a Coca-Cola.

14:40 My cool friend Nick joined me again after

14:42 meeting up with me in the Taco Bell video.

14:44 And him and I both eyed down the peanut

14:46 butter pie that Chili's has on the dessert menu.

14:48 And I didn't get it because I was going to ride my bike after this.

14:51 And Nick got it because he has no self-control.

14:54 But I also will have no self-control later because I'm

14:57 going to get it tonight because damn did that look good.

14:59 And the shrimp cajun pasta was so solid.

15:01 It was the exact opposite state of matter that it would be leaving my body.

15:08 [laughter] Kawasaki.

15:10 Nah, more like Kawasexi.

15:12 Oh, after stealing Nick's bike for internet clout, before I knew it,

15:16 I was over halfway of another stupid,

15:18 pointless weekly eating challenge against the betterment of my health.

15:22 So far, in comparison to other weekly eating challenges,

15:24 I would say this is like smack dab in the middle.

15:26 The menu has enough variety on it for me to be fine.

15:28 The only problem is I don't really ever eat more than a few items during a week.

15:32 I just like fixate on a couple.

15:34 I then only rode 13.6 6 miles before

15:37 sunset because a[ __] train was going so slow.

15:40 How on earth is a[ __] train moving this slow right now?

15:45 Why?

15:45 Why?

15:46 There's only so much sunlight left.

15:48 I need to get a workout in.

15:49 I've had a lot of chilies.

15:56 [music] Okay, 13.6 mile bike ride.

16:00 The slow train absolutely[ __] up the vibe.

16:03 Okay, you're not going to make me feel bad about this.

16:05 I'm having a protein shake.

16:06 This is liquid.

16:08 Okay?

16:08 It's not food.

16:09 It's liquid.

16:10 I'm not going to let you gaslight me here.

16:12 At the conclusion of consuming this extremely obvious liquid, what?

16:16 Stop booing me.

16:17 Even though I put those effects in myself, I went back to Chili's for my final

16:21 meal of day four with my creative partner, Bill.

16:23 Brace yourself here because I got a lot of things for meal 12.

16:26 The triple dipper, which I elected to get in at Nashville hot fried mozzarella,

16:30 southwestern egg rolls, and honey chipotle bone and wings.

16:33 a witch's brew mg, a Coke, and of course the peanut butter pie.

16:37 And I really wonder sometimes why I gain weight this year.

16:39 Like that's not that's not shocking to anybody.

16:42 In some countries, it's polite to sip.

16:43 So you could say I was super polite here.

16:47 The Nashville hot fried mozzarella was amazing.

16:49 I want to make that really clear here.

16:51 Man, after like reviewing this footage and looking at this plate of food,

16:53 I'm like, "Oh my gosh, I've already done this 11 times.

16:56 That can't possibly be good for me." But then I think about the baby book

17:00 my mom showed me and I was like it's like the prophecy wants me to eat.

17:04 Like I was chosen to do this.

17:05 [music] I have to fulfill the prophecy.

17:07 Also, could someone please explain why Bill always

17:09 sticks a[ __] camera this close to my face?

17:12 Dude, what do you think of the peanut butter pie?

17:14 Hey buddy, have a good night.

17:19 See you later.

17:20 Four days down and I've spent $284.38 on 12 meals,

17:25 which is an average of $23.70 per meal.

17:29 Damn, I only burnt $1,070 calories today.

17:31 I blame the Slow Train.

17:33 And my favorite item of the day goes to the peanut butter pie.

17:35 No doubt.

17:36 Good morning.

17:37 It is day five.

17:39 I was going to go on a bike ride this morning, but I was really,

17:41 really hungry and decided that that would be a terrible idea,

17:45 so I opted to sleep instead.

17:47 I'm going to take a shower now and get some work done

17:50 and then I'm going to go to Chili's and do it all over again.

17:54 I wasn't feeling too great to start day five,

17:56 the least shocking thing of all time.

17:58 But the vibes were great this morning because I was meeting my friend Scott,

18:01 who actually is the number one Chile supporter of all time.

18:04 I need you to show everybody why you're the number one chili.

18:07 Oh my god, that's the logo.

18:11 This man literally wears chili on his heart.

18:14 Well, I guess technically on his arm.

18:16 Oh my I didn't even notice that.

18:17 Your own president.

18:18 No way.

18:19 So, I thought you'd enjoy that.

18:21 Thanks, man.

18:21 I appreciate that.

18:22 I got another big smasher burger because I'm allergic to variety.

18:25 A side salad, which I barely touched,

18:27 and their southwestern queso, which I did touch with my mouth.

18:30 Other than interrupting our lunch to destroy Chili's toilet,

18:33 Scott and I had a great time.

18:34 All right, man.

18:35 Just like good old times.

18:36 The best.

18:37 But I hope you're enjoying this a lot.

18:38 I'm I'm definitely enjoying it.

18:40 Chili's is cooking me right now.

18:42 I was going to go back and take a nap because the indigestion was killing me.

18:45 But then I thought, huh, if I occupy my brain instead, maybe that'll help.

18:49 I don't know.

18:49 I'm I'm not I'm not qualified to make any decisions here.

18:52 I went out to Quarry Hill Orchards in Berlin Heights,

18:54 Ohio to get their apple cider, which is the best in the world.

18:57 A bunch of pumpkins.

18:58 This is what I spend my YouTube checks on.

19:01 Way too many pumpkins.

19:02 I then did some apple picking.

19:04 Use your height to your advantage, baby.

19:06 Look at that.

19:06 This is mine now.

19:07 I can I can have this now.

19:09 Like, this is awesome.

19:11 Imagine if Chili's had a tree.

19:13 And 75% of the reason why I went there

19:15 was actually to pet the family six-month-old puppy named Ramy.

19:23 Even though I have one of the greatest jobs

19:25 in the world where I just like, you know, eat food for a living,

19:28 sometimes I can get in my head during these weekly eating challenges.

19:30 So coming out here was really therapeutic.

19:33 It's about that time.

19:35 Sadly, no amount of golden retriever puppy pets can cure indigestion.

19:38 So, my strategy was to get a really intense

19:40 biking workout in so I could basically eat anything later.

19:42 [music] Why, hey, even chilies, which I'm required to do by law.

19:54 [music] 20 mi later in the Cleveland Metro Parks, I had done just that.

19:59 This uh this chili is about to hit so hard.

20:01 It's about to be the greatest chili of my entire life.

20:03 And got super hungry for my second meal of the day.

20:06 My vision is blurry, but I made it to Chili's.

20:08 A triple dipper that included honey chipotle chicken crispers,

20:11 southwestern egg rolls again, and big mouth bites,

20:14 which are their burger sliders.

20:15 I deleted everything faster than you could say.

20:18 The fitness gram pacer test is a multi-stage aerobic

20:21 capacity test that gets progressively more difficult as it continues.

20:25 The 20 m pacer test will begin in 30 seconds.

20:28 Line up at the start.

20:29 The running speed starts slowly but gets

20:31 faster each minute after you hear this signal.

20:35 A single lap should be completed every time you hear this sound.

20:38 Ding.

20:39 Remember to run in a straight line and run as long as possible.

20:43 The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over.

20:47 The test will begin on the word start.

20:49 On your mark, get ready.

20:52 Start.

20:53 Okay, I didn't eat it that fast, but it was still good.

20:55 Chili's to go meal for tonight's in the fridge.

20:58 Going to work out again and then go see Surfer Girl, one of my favorite bands.

21:02 I've totally neglected Achilles strength training,

21:04 so I kind of halfassed a workout before Matt came to pick me up,

21:07 as well as my friend Tim.

21:08 We were going to a concert to see my other friend Carter,

21:11 who is the man behind the band Surfer Girl,

21:13 one of my favorite bands of all time.

21:14 They had pizza at a spot right across the street from the venue.

21:17 And they also tried gaslighting me into eating some,

21:19 which I really wanted to, I'm not going to lie, but I didn't.

21:21 Surf Girls out the jams, and it was a lot of fun going to see them.

21:25 And I think I might have had a little too much fun,

21:27 aka I may have had a few few beers.

21:31 Carter invited us to the green room after the show.

21:33 Give any say to the YouTube audience?

21:35 Yo, we going to have to treat Mac with a little more respect.

21:37 He's more than just a man with a hammer and nails.

21:39 [laughter] And I didn't bring him chili

21:41 because he definitely eats healthier than I do.

21:43 I got back home and I don't really remember

21:45 the rest of the night to be honest with you.

21:47 But I guess I'm pretty good at staying true to these challenges because

21:49 I reviewed the footage from the previous night on the morning of day six.

21:53 I'll be so chill there.

21:54 But what what was what was that?

21:56 What did I just say?

21:57 And I saw that I had the Cajun shrimp I ordered to go from Chili's.

22:01 15 meals in 5 days in.

22:02 I've spent $35747.

22:06 That's not a real number in my head.

22:08 I burned a weekl long high 274 calories, which is awesome.

22:12 And my favorite item of the day was definitely the shrimp cajun pasta.

22:17 Yep.

22:18 This is exactly how I thought I'd be starting day six.

22:24 I look awful.

22:25 Hey.

22:26 Hey, cheer up, Joey.

22:27 That's how you always look.

22:30 For no particular reason whatsoever, I was not feeling great day six.

22:35 And I Yeah, I was getting pretty close

22:36 to caving and finally getting some laxes from the store.

22:40 I still look awful.

22:41 But for now, I went to Chili's and I got

22:43 the Chipotle fresh mex bowl and a water with lemon.

22:46 And I also made a note to write uh hung over, which is probably obvious.

22:50 Admittedly, I didn't eat most of the fresh mech bowl,

22:52 which is okay because I'm the one that made the rules to this challenge.

22:55 I'm also the sicko that's doing it.

22:58 [music] In a completely shocking twist of events,

23:04 it seems like the chilies I just consumed uh didn't help.

23:08 So, to get some positivity my way, I walked my parents' dogs,

23:11 bought some insoles for my shoes to help support my Achilles,

23:14 and listened to some Bob Marley.

23:16 I don't know if Bob Marley went to Chili's or not,

23:17 but if I had to say, he probably would have loved Chili's.

23:20 Chili's rocks.

23:21 I don't even want to eat anything right now.

23:23 Like I don't want to eat.

23:25 I just have to eat because that's the rules.

23:29 I made them up and it's biting me in the ass.

23:32 For meal 17, I got eight honey chipotle bone and wings.

23:36 Don't talk to me if you love boneless wings.

23:38 And a Coca-Cola again.

23:39 And you might be looking at all the meat

23:40 that's on the bone still and making fun of me.

23:42 Please don't do that.

23:44 I'm an adult that has a tummy ache currently.

23:46 What a time.

23:47 I am in a lot of pain right now.

23:49 I really want to thank everybody at this time

23:51 for whoever gave me Pepto-Bismol during my BIES trip.

23:54 I'm almost through all of it right now.

23:56 This is one of like nine things I got.

23:58 This is me before doing 15 miles.

24:01 [music] This also could be me before doing 20 miles.

24:04 This also could be me before doing 10 miles.

24:07 I did 20.

24:08 20 m felt right because 20 is bigger than 15

24:11 and 15's bigger than 10 and 20 is bigger than 10.

24:14 Shout out to Transit of Property.

24:16 Shout out Matt.

24:16 I was hungry again and biking for a very long time certainly helped.

24:20 Our podcast, Ship Ads,

24:21 was recording at Bills that night and I of course volunteered to get food.

24:24 Should I have spent the GDP of the Turks and Caos on chilies?

24:28 Uh, no.

24:29 But I did.

24:29 And also, my CPA hasn't started watching these YouTube videos yet,

24:32 so I think I'm okay for a little bit.

24:34 Lacking any variety or creativity, I got another triple dipper,

24:37 including southwestern egg rolls, big mouth bites, and fried mozzarella.

24:41 Some people say if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

24:43 I say if it ain't broke, you might still want to fix it cuz you

24:46 should probably check to see if it's broke or not.

24:48 The boys and I enjoyed our chili's consumption on the podcast.

24:51 I spilled so much on my pants.

24:54 You need to lick it up.

24:55 I my pants.

24:56 You need me to lick it up?

24:58 Whoa, dude.

24:59 Uh save it for later.

25:00 Good episode, boys.

25:00 How How was the chilies?

25:03 [groaning] I'm so sad I didn't get Baby.

25:10 Then we went to a nearby bar for a little night cap.

25:12 Even though early in the show I said I would never drink again.

25:14 I'm officially announcing on the show that I'm never drinking again.

25:18 But being around my friends gave me good spirits while

25:21 simultaneously torturing my body for another stupid weekly eating challenge.

25:25 And Jack gave me a few pull tabs and I won $50.

25:28 That's like two meals at Five Guys or chilies.

25:31 18 meals down and there's only three to go.

25:33 I spent $41727.

25:37 Crazy how that number just keeps going up.

25:39 I burnt 1,818 calories on day six,

25:43 and my favorite item was the honey chipotle bone and wings.

25:46 I was so excited that today was the final day, even though, spoiler alert,

25:49 the next few days I had like four pints

25:51 of ice cream and I did not eat very well.

25:53 Still, at the present moment though,

25:54 the vibes were high and my strategy was to get my meals out

25:57 of the way earlier in the day so I could enjoy the rest of the day,

26:00 aka like uh sleep on the couch.

26:02 Chili's opens at 10:45 according to their website.

26:05 But according to me, a live reporter around the scene.

26:08 They were not open at 10:45.

26:10 Fraud.

26:10 So, I walked around a parking lot and occupied myself with looking

26:13 at places I might film some future content at, but that's also foreshadowing.

26:18 Before going back a little after 11, and yes, they were finally open.

26:21 Thank God.

26:21 For meal 19, I mixed it up and got the Cajun shrimp pasta.

26:25 Oh, sorry.

26:26 I meant I mixed the plate of food up.

26:28 I didn't I didn't There was no variety.

26:29 The chips and salsa, by the way,

26:31 some of the most salty and delicious chips and salsa I've ever had.

26:34 It was a great meal and it set the tone for the rest of the day.

26:36 My favorite worker there was Denise who told me to call her D nice,

26:39 like the key and peel skit.

26:41 So, I wanted to show her some love on YouTube

26:42 because she really took care of me this week.

26:44 You've been my favorite person here.

26:45 I just wanted to say that.

26:46 Thank you so much.

26:47 Thank you for putting up with me this week.

26:49 A you've been amazing.

26:50 I paid her $20 to say that.

26:51 Even though I only had 2 minutes left and I could see the finish line,

26:54 I was not doing great.

26:56 I've done this before in my challenges when I've really needed it.

27:00 And I'm really hesitant to do it right now because it'll absolutely ruin me,

27:05 but eventually make me feel a lot better.

27:07 But I'm really clogged up.

27:09 I think I'm going to go to the store and take some laxatives.

27:11 But for some reason, I wanted to be dumber.

27:14 And I didn't stop there cuz I did three

27:16 things to help flush out everything out of my system.

27:18 First was take the laxatives.

27:20 All right, let's get weird.

27:21 Second was to go get a coffee to help really clear myself out.

27:24 And third is to have an olive pop, aka 32% of my daily fiber intake.

27:28 Consuming those three things,

27:30 there is no way I'm going to be clogged after today.

27:32 But wait, I could be even dumber.

27:33 I looked up how long it takes for laxatives to kick in on Google's AI,

27:37 which to my knowledge has never had a laxative

27:39 because it said it takes 1 to 3 days.

27:41 So I thought, okay, that's future Joey's problem.

27:44 So how about I go on a bike ride in the middle of the countryside right now.

27:48 And yeah, you may see where this is going.

27:50 Uh the laxatives might have just kicked in.

27:53 So, this is a tree.

27:55 I'm sorry, tree.

27:57 I really need to take a[ __] So, I'm going to do it right here.

28:00 Please forgive me.

28:02 Okay.

28:04 [music] Okay.

28:07 Not going to lie, that went infinitely worse than I ever could have imagined.

28:10 So, yeah.

28:11 So, like that random giant tree that I defecated in front of.

28:14 Like, I'm so sorry.

28:16 I hope you can use my post chili's excrements

28:18 as a fertilizer for you to grow and prosper longer one day.

28:23 Um, anyways, I ended up finally being able to bike 15 miles,

28:28 including a pit stop halfway at Quarry Hill,

28:30 where I mostly went to go pet Ramy again.

28:32 Can I have a shake?

28:34 Good boy.

28:35 Nice.

28:35 No.

28:36 Nice.

28:38 You bit my he was even harder.

28:39 Oh, okay.

28:40 So, Ramy gets to go to the bathroom everywhere he wants,

28:42 but I can't like take a[ __] in front of a giant

28:45 tree in the middle of the countryside without getting some slack.

28:47 I went back to Chili's after experiencing

28:49 digestive trauma and got a mushroom Swiss burger.

28:52 Oh, look.

28:52 That that was a different item.

28:53 Nice.

28:54 Hand fries and a Coke.

28:55 Sorry, I don't want to swear, but my freaking goodness,

28:57 these hecking burgers at Chili's are so gosh darn good.

29:01 I know I made a lot of jokes in this video,

29:02 and most of them are probably not funny to anybody else besides me,

29:05 but seriously, the burgers at Chili's are generational.

29:07 You should go to Chili's at least once in your lifetime and get a burger.

29:10 They're that good.

29:11 I'm going to miss you, Chili.

29:12 But oh my goodness, I am so excited that I only have to eat

29:16 chilies [music] one more time and I can have a salad tomorrow allegedly.

29:20 I just realized I didn't change before going back to chilies.

29:22 That's gross.

29:23 Uh guys, the laxatives are hitting me again.

29:29 This is not good.

29:33 I need to get home now.

29:34 I then only had one more meal to go.

29:36 But before I could get to that final meal,

29:38 there were still a lot in front of me.

29:40 or should I say behind me.

29:42 And just a little bit of advice for the audience keeping score at home.

29:45 If you're going to take some laxatives, two things.

29:47 One, don't.

29:48 But two, if you're actually going to do it, make sure to prepare for it to go

29:52 into effect a lot quicker than what Google's AI says.

29:55 After a good workout and some Pepto Swigs,

29:58 finally, there was only one thing left to do,

30:00 and that was to dress up for the baby back ribs funeral.

30:04 Oh, I'm so ready to be done with this and have a salad.

30:06 I want salad.

30:08 Hey everyone, it's me here from the future.

30:09 one final time.

30:10 I haven't had one salad since finishing this project and it's been 5 days.

30:15 [music] Let's do this quickly because the laxes are kicking in again.

30:23 For my final meal in America's Greatest Chain restaurant,

30:26 I got a full rack of baby back ribs and a Coke.

30:28 And to be honest with you, I did not eat a lot of this.

30:31 I was generationally unwell.

30:32 But after having enough ribs to feel somewhat full,

30:35 I could finally say I ate nothing but chilies for one week.

30:40 Oh, and now here are the results that nobody asked for.

30:43 After 21 meals at Chili's I spent, drum roll please,

30:46 $49,423, which included tip, an average of $23.54 per meal.

30:53 Not as much as the $544.88 I spent eating

30:57 the world's most expensive Five Guys for one week.

31:00 I forgot how expensive it is to consume Five Guys.

31:03 Hey yo, what the[ __] I burn an average of 1,660.71 calories per day,

31:09 which is well above my goal of 1,500 calories per day.

31:11 I'm not like super sure of this.

31:13 This is just like a rough estimation,

31:15 but I think I lost one lb, which is like a miracle.

31:18 Absolute miracle for this challenge.

31:19 My favorite item of the project was by far the southwestern egg rolls.

31:23 Real ballnowers know.

31:24 And do I recommend anybody to go to Chile sometime soon?

31:28 Heck yeah.

31:29 Should you eat this 21 meals in a row?

31:31 __] no.

31:32 I know what I like.

31:33 Baby, I like you.

31:35 This American pie with the high [music] queue.

31:38 Oh my, I do.

31:39 Just fly right through.

31:42 [music] I want my baby back, baby back,

31:45 baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby.

31:48 Chillies, [singing] baby [music] backs.

31:52 Baby, baby, baby backs.

31:57 I'm editing a YouTube video at the library.

31:58 You guys want to be in the video?

32:00 5 6 7 or 41.

32:03 Which one?

32:04 All right.