Nora Fatehi on the Success Mindset Behind Her Rise

0:00 How are you, baby?

0:08 Should we do it?

0:09 Should we dive in?

0:11 I'm going to ask you this first question,

0:13 which might be a heavy first question, but I'm going to do it.

0:16 Do you feel successful?

0:19 Do I feel successful?

0:23 I feel success.

0:24 I don't feel the full part yet.

0:27 Say more.

0:27 What do you mean by that?

0:28 Yeah, like.

0:29 I know that I've like accomplished so many

0:33 things and of some of the things I've accomplished,

0:36 like if you asked me 5 years ago they would have been possible,

0:41 I would be like “Nah, that's crazy.” But I know that I've been able

0:45 to do things that probably like seemed impossible at that time,

0:50 which are- is great for me,

0:51 but I don't feel like I've done everything that I want to do.

0:54 So that's why the full part is not really there.

0:58 I think...

1:00 I can do a lot more.

1:03 And that's what I'm trying to do right now.

1:04 That's why, you know, I'm always on the go and I'm always pushing myself.

1:10 And, you know, I'm not easy on myself at all.

1:13 Like probably the hardest person in my life on me is me.

1:17 You know, I'm so hard on myself and at the same

1:22 time I don't take no for an answer.

1:25 It's it's crazy and, and it's so inspiring,

1:29 but at the same time, I know that I'm meant for bigger things.

1:32 I enjoy dancing, I enjoy acting, I enjoy singing,

1:36 but like, my spirit tells me that the, the reason why,

1:40 like God brought me to India and did all of this and now I'm like

1:45 going on a more global scale is not just for dance and singing and acting.

1:49 I think there's like a bigger calling and I'm just trying to like.

1:53 Figure out what that could be.

1:55 But I have that feeling.

1:56 Yeah.

1:57 Very interesting.

1:57 So you don't actually.

1:59 No, you just feel like your purpose is bigger.

2:01 I do.

2:01 I feel like it.

2:02 And it's like the same feeling I had when I was

2:05 in Toronto when I was 22 and suddenly I was like,

2:07 yeah, I'm going to go to India.

2:09 It was like my intuition was telling me there's something there for me.

2:14 Like it's like something is spiritually pushing me to to find my my calling.

2:18 So I'm in that stage in my life where I feel it again.

2:22 I just don't know what it is.

2:24 And I'm going with the flow.

2:25 But I have a feeling.

2:28 It's way bigger than what I'm what I am right now.

2:30 Interesting.

2:31 Yeah.

2:31 How would you define a successful woman?

2:34 Well, that's tough.

2:35 I would say a successful woman is someone

2:38 that is able to balance everything in life,

2:41 which I'm still trying to figure it out.

2:43 You know what I mean?

2:45 I just had my mom the other day call me and be like.

2:48 When are you going to get married?

2:49 You know what I mean?

2:50 Are the kids?

2:51 Yeah, You know, like once a year, once every year.

2:54 Like she'd be like, where are the kids?

2:55 We're.

2:55 And it's almost like.

2:58 I'm on autopilot with my career in trying to prove myself and trying to like,

3:03 you know, accomplish the things that I really am hungry for.

3:07 But at the same time, I'm like, yeah, I want to have the family.

3:10 I want to have the kids, you know, very family oriented.

3:13 But I just don't know how I'm going to balance that.

3:15 And I think that's what a successful woman is able to do,

3:19 balance out the personal life with the professional life,

3:22 whether it's having kids or not, whether it's getting married or not,

3:25 but having a sense of stability in your personal life,

3:29 rather than just having one sided fulfilled,

3:33 I think that's what a successful woman is able to do.

3:35 And also a successful woman is someone who's able to break barriers,

3:39 who's able to create a space for herself and become an inspiration.

3:45 A lot of the times when I talk to like

3:47 my friends or even people who want to like understand my journey,

3:51 I don't want to just inspire someone who wants

3:53 to dance or someone wants to sing or act.

3:55 Even if you're like a dentist.

3:57 Like an aspiring lawyer or aspiring doctor.

4:00 An aspiring plumber.

4:02 I don't know whatever it is, but I want my journey and the way I've moved

4:07 to inspire them to do whatever they want in their life.

4:10 And I think a successful woman is someone who can serve as an aspiring figure.

4:14 Yeah.

4:14 You know, you've you've danced in a ton of songs.

4:17 I know first time because anytime I post with you,

4:20 people are losing their minds.

4:22 Crazy.

4:23 So you just talked about I want people to be inspired by how I move and how

4:27 I've has that been guided by instinct

4:30 or are you actually sitting there being like this?

4:32 These are what my moves are about to be.

4:34 My initial moves were definitely planned so when I came to India,

4:40 I remember sitting in, so basically when I moved, I moved with a like an agency,

4:45 like a modelling agency and they put you in a house of like

4:48 9 models and there's like a small house and 9 girls and you know,

4:51 you get your room, you share your room, all that stuff.

4:53 And I remember sitting in one of my, in one of the one of those days,

4:56 I was sitting in the room and I was like

4:58 planning out what I want to do in the industry so,

5:03 I first studied the industry really hard because like,

5:05 you know what's funny when you're in Toronto and I think you might

5:09 know the same thing we're so stuck on like the 90s of Bollywood.

5:12 So I was still watching Devdas in Toronto,

5:15 but the industry had evolved completely.

5:17 You had your Katrina Kaif, you had your Deepika,

5:19 you had all these new journeys and stories that I

5:22 wasn't really familiar with until I moved to India.

5:25 Then I was like, wow, the industry is really like on another level.

5:28 So I sat, I studied it and I tried to figure out what was missing

5:33 in the industry that I could kind of like

5:36 fill- not necessarily fill the void but step into.

5:39 So when I looked at Bollywood as a format for me,

5:43 what makes Bollywood different from Hollywood is

5:45 that it's an industry that is driven through dance.

5:48 All the movies are driven through dance.

5:50 The main hit songs that you associate any film with is driven through dance.

5:55 So I'm like, wow, dance is so integral to this industry.

5:58 Other than Madhuri ma'am or Katrina Kaif or a Helen Ma'am,

6:03 I didn't feel like there was somebody who could

6:05 create a massive impact with dance in the industry.

6:09 So I try to push myself through using.

6:12 Because the other avenues wasn't working like I was trying to act,

6:15 I was trying to audition, I was trying to do everything,

6:17 but it wasn’t working for me.

6:18 So I thought about it consciously and I said well let me try and do it through

6:22 dance and once I open the doors if they open and I'm known and people love me.

6:28 I can then try and open the other doors.

6:31 It just gets a little bit easier.

6:33 But then I didn't realize it doesn't get easier.

6:34 It's still hard.

6:35 Doesn't matter what you do, it's still hard.

6:37 You know, you still got to fight.

6:38 I always tell people, yeah, it's always going to be hard.

6:40 Always.

6:41 And I'm sure you know it.

6:42 Like you've done so many great things.

6:44 You had your own show you, you did the movie.

6:48 But still, you're still going to have the hustle.

6:50 100% It’s never ending, you know?

6:53 So that's the different story, right?

6:55 So I did plan consciously to use dance as a key.

7:00 But a lot of the moves I make in the last, I'd say 5 years,

7:05 I've planned them in my head, but I wasn't sure that they were going to happen.

7:09 So I'll give you context when in 2018, when Dilbar released,

7:13 that was my breakout year and everyone was like, “Oh yeah,

7:17 she's like the next like dance sensation and let's give her all the songs

7:21 in every movie.” But I know the danger and that is you become typecasted.

7:27 So after you take up all the songs in every movie,

7:30 people get bored because it's like, how much of me are you going to see, right?

7:33 And that's like, it's not just because of me,

7:35 but that's just how it works in the industry.

7:39 And then you enjoy the 15 minutes of fame and nothing happens after that.

7:45 And I'm always looking for conversion.

7:46 So if 2018 was my breakout year through

7:49 Dilbar and everybody loved it and I broke records, what are we doing after that?

7:53 Because I can't do another song like that and I can't dance again like that.

7:57 And you know what I'm trying to say?

7:59 So I sat home and I said, I sat at home and I said,

8:01 right, So I'm getting a lot of buzz.

8:03 I'm getting popular.

8:05 This is great but I'm still a dancer in their mind.

8:09 In a producer 's mind or a director 's mind, or even the audience is mind,

8:13 no matter how much they're going to love me,

8:15 they probably going to want me to do more.

8:17 So how am I going to do more?

8:19 I started funding my own international music career and I was “Okay, well,

8:23 I don't want to just dance,

8:24 let me try and sing while I dance.” That's like elevating a little.

8:28 So I always envision my career as steps.

8:31 So, if I'm right here, I'm always thinking, all right,

8:33 what do I do to get on to the next step?

8:35 And then what do I do again to get on to the next step?

8:38 So I looked at it like, OK, I'm not.

8:41 If I go to anyone right now and I say, hey,

8:43 I want to be a singer, can you like fund this for me?

8:46 They'll probably laugh.

8:47 So I just did it myself.

8:49 And I started making English music, which was funny because everyone was like,

8:53 hello, nobody cares about English music in India.

8:55 But I saw an evolution happening within the industry

8:58 and within the audience and because of social media.

9:01 I was so sure there was going to be

9:03 a generation of people that are going to crop up.

9:05 They're going to love English music in this side of the world.

9:08 So I started investing in my English music and I wanted

9:10 to be known for someone who can do more than one thing.

9:13 I didn't just want to be a dancer.

9:15 This is fascinating because you really are talking about

9:18 carving your own path and creating something that didn't exist.

9:21 And my number one question when I hear

9:23 this, where did you find the audacity and the fearlessness?

9:27 Because what you're talking about is scary.

9:28 It is here.

9:29 And I thought, I'm going to do this and.

9:31 What's going to do this?

9:31 So I'm going to do this was fear not a factor in any of us?

9:34 You know, it's funny,

9:35 like I'm talking to right now and I'm I have a little bit of a little bit.

9:38 The fear where I'm talking to you because I'm remembering how it felt.

9:41 It was so scary.

9:42 It was so scary because I left everything behind in Toronto.

9:46 Everything I left my my best friends that are so important to me,

9:51 my family, everything that I knew I left behind and I missed out on.

9:56 Some of the most important moments in our life,

9:58 you know, birthdays, anniversaries, weddings.

10:01 I missed everything, everything.

10:03 I disappeared for a decade.

10:04 Do you know what I mean?

10:05 Trying to make something of myself because I didn't want to be that girl who,

10:12 by the way, I was in rotation through working at a telemarketing place,

10:17 working at McDonald's, working at a shawarma place,

10:19 working as a waitress, dancing in this event, dancing in that event.

10:23 I didn't want to do that anymore.

10:25 And I think my spirit was telling me that.

10:27 So when I disappeared for 10 years, I was trying to make something of myself.

10:31 I was trying to make.

10:33 A legacy wanna go down in history as someone who was so fearless,

10:39 who even had the audacity to step foot

10:41 in a in a country that had she had no association to.

10:46 I didn't even have a friend here like I had nobody here.

10:49 I had to change myself so much like right now I feel comfortable

10:53 to be able to talk to you in this accent and, you know,

10:56 use my slang and and be me.

10:58 But I had to cut that down for a very

11:00 long time in order for people to accept me here.

11:02 I had to learn Hindi.

11:04 And I don't think that's a bad thing.

11:05 I think that's a sign of respect.

11:07 And I did that while I was here and 10 Years went by quick, but yes, I was.

11:14 I don't know if you can say this.

11:15 I was shitting bricks.

11:15 You can say you're shitting bricks.

11:18 I can imagine that's scary So it still is scary Lilly,

11:22 like still till today, like new,

11:25 new challenges crop up bigger and bigger and bigger.

11:29 But it taught me so much and now that I look back.

11:31 I was, I was so scared, Lilly,

11:33 but I feel like I have an alter ego that pushes me through.

11:36 It's like a sound in my ear that goes go, keep going, keep going.

11:40 Something is about to happen.

11:42 And if it wasn't for that sound, I don't think I'll be here today.

11:46 Wow, that's really cool.

11:48 Talk to me about when you were younger,

11:50 like where did you learn this type of drive and ambition?

11:53 Who did you look up to when you were younger?

11:55 I looked up to a lot of artists to be honest with you.

11:59 I looked up to people like Beyoncé and Shakira.

12:03 Jennifer Lopez and I studied their stories, but now that I look back,

12:08 I feel like my mom, lowkey was a driving force.

12:14 And I never thought a bit about that at that time, you know?

12:17 But now?

12:19 When I look at it, I'm like, damn, you know, she probably low key inspired me.

12:23 She was like a single mom pushing through, working multiple jobs,

12:27 trying to bring me up and my brother up.

12:30 And you know, she went through a really,

12:33 really hard life herself and She brought me

12:36 and my brother up in the best way possible.

12:39 So when I look at her, I'm like, she's definitely inspiration,

12:42 which is hard to accept because it's like, you know,

12:44 we have this ego as like a as a daughter and you always want

12:48 to like give the props to a celebrity or props to an iconic figure.

12:53 But really it's the people around you that inspire you.

12:55 I definitely, I've been surrounded with women who've had it so rough,

13:01 but still keep a smile on their face.

13:04 Still keep driving, you know the boat.

13:07 Still trying to take care of the people around them,

13:09 even sometimes they might forget themselves.

13:11 But they'll love the people around them and nurture the people around them.

13:14 And that that I think has has really left

13:17 a mark in my persona and the way I move.

13:20 Yeah.

13:20 You mentioned being raised by a single mom, which I'm sure is not easy.

13:24 Yeah, did that ever impact your relationship with men?

13:29 Yeah.

13:30 Oh my God, so much.

13:31 Let's talk about daddy issues.

13:32 So I have daddy issues.

13:33 Same.

13:34 I really do.

13:35 Like I'm talking about all brown families,

13:37 but it's hard to get them to understand us.

13:41 It's hard to get them to understand that we're a different generation,

13:44 we have different goals,

13:45 we we want to do things differently, our mentalities different.

13:49 And sometimes you get that push back from your family

13:53 members who could possibly be conservative coming from a different country,

13:57 especially immigrant families.

13:59 All my friends have this issue, not just me, not just you.

14:02 All our friends who have immigrant parents have

14:05 tried to really And that's out of protection.

14:09 They try to totally them close and then you start to battle with what

14:14 you're learning at school and the environment you're in outside of the house.

14:18 And then you come back at home and it's like a different world.

14:20 And that could really like challenge you

14:23 mentally when you're trying to find yourself.

14:25 And when you do try to find yourself and you want to be accepted,

14:28 you have that fear of how they're going to feel and where

14:31 they're going to say and how they're going to treat you.

14:33 So I think we've all gone through that for me when I saw my mom.

14:37 Moving as a single mom, you get you do start to resent, you know,

14:42 your father unfortunately,

14:43 and then and that kind of just to give context- are they divorced?

14:46 They got a divorce and then he kind of just like disappeared,

14:50 you know, for the longest time.

14:52 And when you see that initially and you you get older,

14:56 you start to resent men and the way they treat women and I

15:00 have met a lot of men in my life who have been great,

15:05 don't get me wrong, but when you

15:07 have daddy issues that comes to abandonment issues.

15:10 And if someone doesn't want to be with you, for example,

15:13 or if it doesn't work out, it's it's really hard on you.

15:18 It's hard to move on.

15:19 It's hard to swallow that pill.

15:21 And sometimes that person is not even good for you.

15:24 Like I've been with people who are not good for me in hindsight,

15:27 now that I look at it,

15:28 but I didn't take the break up easily only because I didn't

15:32 resolve my abandonment issues and you only realize as you get older.

15:37 O, it's not a him problem.

15:38 It's technically a me problem,

15:40 but it is kind of a him problem because it came from a from man.

15:44 Do you see what I'm trying to say?

15:45 Yeah.

15:45 Yeah, totally.

15:45 So I have to, I have to deal with them.

15:47 I still deal with that, to be honest with you.

15:49 And I don't really talk about that because people don't ask me.

15:52 But I I'm still trying to figure out how I navigate

15:57 a male relationship only because I do have unresolved issues with my dad.

16:03 Yeah.

16:04 I told you I was going to ask you things that would.

16:06 Yeah, that's the truth.

16:07 Yeah.

16:07 You know, I respect that a lot.

16:08 Talk to me if you're comfortable a little bit

16:10 about Was there shame associated with having divorced parents?

16:15 You know what?

16:16 Yeah.

16:17 Actually, not anymore.

16:18 Not everyone is getting divorced.

16:19 When I talked to my mom, right?

16:21 And I don't like to put her business out there much,

16:24 but it took her 14 years to leave my dad.

16:27 14 years, not 4, not 5, 14.

16:30 When I asked her why?

16:31 Because she knew she didn't want to be with him from the beginning.

16:36 Her answer is like my grandma and my aunts

16:39 and everyone would say just be patient.

16:42 Just be patient.

16:44 What are the people gonna say?

16:45 You know what I mean?

16:46 Like in Hindi “Log kya kahenge?” know, as only we only worry about people.

16:50 Even though this people I'm like, where's these poeple??

16:52 I don't understand.

16:53 Who are they?

16:53 They're not paying your rent.

16:55 They're not paying.

16:55 They're not filling your fridge up.

16:56 They don't care about you when you're sick, you know?

16:58 So who are they?

16:59 But they came from a different mentality where

17:03 they felt like there was shame attached to it.

17:06 What are people going to say?

17:07 What are people going to think?

17:08 Isn't we going to want to marry you after you get a divorce?

17:11 They come from a different world and that's why

17:14 she couldn't make the decisions that I think she should

17:17 have made way earlier for her mental health

17:20 and for her growth and probably even for our mental health,

17:23 you know, because obviously we saw things that we

17:26 shouldn't have saw or seen at that time.

17:28 But you can't really blame them because that's all they knew.

17:31 That's the resources that they had.

17:33 And I think that's why it's so important for a woman

17:35 to take care of herself and to have a backup

17:38 and to make sure that she has her foundation solid

17:40 that even if she wants to be with a man and.

17:43 Maybe stop working and take care of her kids or be a housewife or be a wife.

17:48 If anything goes down, she should be able to pick up and leave to to protect

17:53 her mental peace and her sanity because she's sorted already,

17:57 you know, and I know a lot of people weren't.

17:59 So they have to say in situations I don't

18:01 want to stay in just because they feel like,

18:03 what am I going to do if this doesn't work and I leave?

18:06 I'm not, I don't have like a backup, you know?

18:09 So that's why I always tell people we need to do a better job.

18:11 Of teaching girls that money and power is not a bad thing.

18:14 I think we associate those bad things.

18:16 But you should get your bag.

18:17 You should have your power, definitely and financial independence.

18:20 No, I agree.

18:22 I totally agree with you.

18:23 I know that some people are going to watch

18:25 this who are going to say in the comments,

18:26 no, she doesn't she's like, she doesn't like feminism and feminists.

18:30 And why would they say that?

18:31 Well, because I'm, I had a podcast I did

18:33 last year where we spoke about feminism and then,

18:36 you know, certain small cuts come out on Reels and TikTok and they get blown up.

18:40 But people miss the context.

18:42 And what I advocate for Lilly,

18:44 is that extremism is something that I'm totally against.

18:49 Hear me out.

18:49 So I come from a single parent, right?

18:53 And I've missed out on a nuclear family.

18:55 And I know how important it is to have the presence of 2 parents,

18:58 whether it's a mom and a dad or 2 moms or 2 dads, whatever it is, right?

19:03 But a nuclear family where you have the presence

19:05 of 2 parents and security and a home and love.

19:10 Attention and discipline.

19:11 I advocate for all of that there.

19:13 Unfortunately, right now certain people who have platforms will advocate for no,

19:19 you don't need that.

19:21 You can do everything by yourself and in my mind I'm like,

19:25 yes, you can you can do anything you want right,

19:28 But is it good for the child is always look at that because I always look

19:32 at the the the child version of me I would

19:36 have loved to be in a home with 2 parents.

19:39 Because eventually when you get older, that excess luggage, you know,

19:44 the emotional luggage and all of that emotional damage,

19:47 it does spill over in your life as an adult.

19:51 And I would hate for a world, I would hate for us to live in a world

19:56 where people don't care about nuclear families anymore.

19:59 As we get older, we respect our moms more, We love our moms more.

20:03 We, we understand the sacrifices they made and we love our dads more.

20:09 But if we don't advocate for a nuclear family.

20:13 And we only say, yeah, yeah, yeah,

20:15 just work and just do your thing and F men and ta, da, ta.

20:19 Get that bag.

20:21 It becomes a little dangerous.

20:23 So I want us to advocate for balance.

20:25 Get your money, fulfill your dreams, work hard, create a foundation.

20:30 But at the same time, let's create an environment where men are accountable,

20:34 where men are should step up, men should be responsible.

20:39 I think we don't have that environment right now.

20:41 This is what we're going through right now.

20:44 And because we've created this environment that we're

20:46 so independent and so strong, we don't need you.

20:49 Why can't we be independent?

20:51 Strong and still need you.

20:53 Why can't you step up when we share and we balance, That may be your nurturer.

20:57 Let you be a provider.

20:58 You want me to be a provider too?

20:59 Fine.

21:00 Let's balance it out.

21:01 But I feel like we need to advocate for that more.

21:05 I am not going to disagree with you.

21:07 I think in my opinion, the definition of feminism is giving women choice.

21:13 It's if a woman wants to be a housewife, go off.

21:16 If you want to have kids, great.

21:17 If you don't, fantastic.

21:18 But I think I agree in the sense of I've

21:21 never believed that feminism is about, I hate men.

21:23 We don't need men.

21:24 In fact, we very much so need men.

21:26 But they think we don't need them.

21:27 So then they they, they don't want to be anything.

21:30 Right.

21:30 You know, you know, the patriarchy negatively impacts everyone,

21:33 and we need men to be allies.

21:35 We need everyone to be allies when it comes to the causes of feminism.

21:38 And so I'm not going to disagree with you.

21:40 I think and listen, I think that there's a lot of beauty

21:42 for those people that are privileged enough to be in a nuclear family.

21:45 I think that's a really healthy environment to be.

21:47 So I would never advocate for a version of feminism that is we don't need men.

21:51 Men, if you're watching this, we need you actually.

21:53 We need you really badly.

21:54 We need them to come through.

21:55 And also you.

21:57 This is correct.

21:57 That's exactly what I was missing when I was trying to explain this.

22:00 We need them to be allies.

22:02 And I think they aren't so much right now.

22:06 And I would say what you just described is what I believe feminism is.

22:10 But because the Internet is is almost free and air, the air is free.

22:14 And everyone has this, by the way,

22:17 you know you come across certain videos and certain podcasts

22:20 where people would describe feminism in a whole different way.

22:24 And I have been exposed to that.

22:26 And that's why in my mind I'm like, well,

22:28 this must be an extreme version of it, which is not OK.

22:31 And in everything, whether it's religion or I think there's always going to be,

22:35 I agree of everything, yes.

22:36 But I'm glad we could reset this now to be

22:38 the feminism is choice and we absolutely need men.

22:40 And I promise I won't be a podcast that takes snippets of.

22:43 Could you believe it?

22:44 And then it goes viral again.

22:46 I'm like, here we go.

22:47 How do I clean this one up?

22:48 That's not my intention at all.

22:50 We're here to progress.

22:52 We're here to have a safe space conversation.

22:54 And I really like that you said, you know, sure,

22:56 the woman can be the nurse or the man can be the provider

22:59 or the woman could be the provider and the man could be the nurture.

23:01 Because I think that's an important part

23:03 of breaking down the patriarchy is understand that men

23:06 can be vulnerable and they can be the nurturers

23:08 and women- Look at us two We're badasses.

23:11 You got the bag.

23:12 I got the bag.

23:13 We're providers, baby.

23:14 Yes, we are.

23:15 But hold on.

23:15 Yes.

23:16 Hit me.

23:16 I'm in the middle of dating, right?

23:18 So like I'm in the whole like let me see them options like the best man win.

23:23 That's the space I'm in right now, right.

23:25 The thing about them knowing that we have the bag and we're you know,

23:30 we're a go getter and some of them be low key trying to find a sugar Mama.

23:35 You know, and I'm not here for that.

23:38 You know what I mean?

23:38 I'm just like, hold on.

23:39 So you don't want to pay for dinner.

23:41 Do you need the guy to pay for dinner?

23:43 Be honest.

23:44 Here's the thing.

23:44 I don't need him to I have my card.

23:47 I can afford this dinner.

23:50 But there is a feminine side of me because I'm like,

23:53 I got a lot of feminine energy where I would like

23:56 to see him do that because then I would like him more.

23:59 I don't know.

24:00 It's it's like a masculine thing where he's like, Oh my God, I got you.

24:04 I got you.

24:05 I have a lot of friends that say this exact

24:06 same thing and I was like, oh, you do.

24:08 Yeah.

24:08 Oh, wow.

24:10 Here's the thing.

24:11 I've been struggling since I was 16 on my own, Lilly.

24:15 OK?

24:15 I didn't have a man to help me.

24:18 I've done everything by myself.

24:19 I took care.

24:20 I still take care of my family.

24:21 I take care of my friends.

24:22 I've been a breadwinner and an independent figure for way too long.

24:28 And I feel like I've been in my masculine energy for too long, also.

24:31 Recently I've been trying to tap in back to my feminine energy.

24:35 And yes, I do need a man to step up a little bit so that I feel like,

24:39 OK, yeah, I feel like a girl.

24:41 I feel family and I feel wanted.

24:43 You know, I feel like someone is thinking about me,

24:46 is taking care of me because I've been doing that with people all my life.

24:49 I really respect that.

24:50 And I applaud that honesty because I do think, like, even me.

24:54 I'm generally pretty masculine,

24:56 like I'm usually 99% of the time masculine energy but every once

25:00 in a while I'm like I would like someone to open the door for me.

25:04 Yes, it's so small in hindsight,

25:06 but like it makes you feel sane, it makes you feel important.

25:10 And for me, the ideal man is a man that wants to step up

25:14 and I feel like he has the ability to take care because then I.

25:18 Know if I have kids with this man,

25:19 he's going to be able to take care of them too.

25:21 So it's, it's really a mindset thing.

25:23 I think at the end of the day,

25:25 there's nothing wrong and we shouldn't conflate the 2 things.

25:27 There's nothing wrong with wanting to be taken care of.

25:29 I think it's like very human need to want

25:32 to be with someone that can take care of you.

25:34 It doesn't mean that you're never going to pay for dinner.

25:36 You don't have no, I mean- Are men scared of you?

25:39 Probably, I don't know.

25:41 Probably like, I've heard so many people say that “Oh yeah,

25:45 you're just so intimidating.

25:46 And that's like why I didn't approach you.” I'm like, the coolest, I don't know.

25:52 You think to get intimidated by- -I don’t mind

25:54 though Exactly what you described to me in this conversation,

25:57 your ambition, your relentlessness with your career.

26:00 Do they get intimidated by that?

26:01 Probably.

26:02 I mean, we live in a world where guys will still tell you,

26:04 “Yeah, I’m so modern and,l ike, feminism, woo, woo, And I'm for the cause.

26:09 And I love girls and I love a strong independent woman.” But, do they?

26:14 Really?

26:15 Like maybe they love it from a far, but sometimes when it comes to them

26:20 having to associate with that kind of person,

26:23 they probably do feel intimidated like I've had

26:26 guys who wanted me and like I wanted them

26:29 to and it didn't work out and they ended up

26:32 with someone who isn't as ambitious and isn't as independent.

26:37 I'm just like, oh, maybe, maybe in the end they don't really want

26:41 someone like me or you because it scares them, you know, it's an ego thing.

26:47 And there are some guys obviously who don't feel scared.

26:51 They're so secure and they get it, but it's a handful.

26:55 Have you ever, and this is a safe space

26:58 conversation Have you ever tried to make yourself smaller?

27:02 To to be less ambitious, not be everything you are for that.

27:06 I can't make myself less ambitious because they'll just go to my Instagram page.

27:11 Do you know what I mean?

27:12 So they'll go to Instagram and be like, you know, what is this?

27:16 Like one day she's in Morocco,

27:18 the next day she's in Toronto and New York and Bombay and what is going on here?

27:22 So I get it.

27:23 But maybe when I'm talking to them, yeah.

27:28 sometimes and then sometimes that doesn't work and my real

27:32 side comes out and then I'm just like,

27:36 “Wow, okay, that’s why it didn't work out.” I love you.

27:41 I'm obsessed with you.

27:42 I'm obsessed with how honest you are.

27:43 I have to say I'm absolutely obsessed with you.

27:46 But you know what, sorry, I'm cutting you off.

27:48 So many people are going to look at this and be like,

27:49 “Wow she's so pretty, so hot, and why would she have any issues with guys?

27:53 But this is exactly why I want to be transparent,

27:56 because it has nothing to do with how you look

27:59 or how much money you make or how desirable you are.

28:03 It really is as it's like a social construct, like there are just.

28:08 It's a more psychological thing.

28:10 You can't really change how a man feels about certain situations.

28:15 And even if I make myself small,

28:17 if that man doesn't want someone who's better or more independent financially

28:22 or strong with their opinions or very vocal with how they handle certain things,

28:28 you can't really change that no matter how much you like that guy.

28:30 So you just gotta like, deal with it.

28:33 Facts.

28:34 That's what I'm saying.

28:34 We need men to step up as well.

28:36 They're part of the equation.

28:37 They're part of the equation.

28:39 All right, I'm gonna keep my eyes peeled for you.

28:41 I have so many people saying this right now.

28:43 Really?

28:44 I swear are any of them an “Indian aunty”?

28:46 What up t shirt reference?

28:47 Because I- Yes!

28:48 Some of them are.

28:49 Some of them are Moroccan and Indian aunties OK, yes, like the whole,

28:53 you know, how many of them will set, like, pictures in front of me?

28:56 But like, stop it.

28:57 Yeah.

28:57 “Tell me which one you like.” And I'm just like, come on.

29:00 I'm like, I think I cannot tell you which 1I like, that's weird.

29:03 You know, my mom used to do that.

29:05 She’ll like, WhatsApp me pictures of people and be like, “His mom is very nice.

29:09 She's my friend.” But you're not marrying his mom.

29:12 I’m just like, right.

29:13 Okay, I'm not doing that.

29:15 You know, so many times.

29:16 Oh, my God.

29:16 My mom's gonna hate seeing this interview so many times like back in the day,

29:20 she'll send me a picture and then she

29:22 will like convince me why he's the right match.

29:25 And her main point is- he's educated,

29:27 he went to school and he has a job and I'm like, “Mama, I went to school too.

29:33 I also have a job.

29:34 So like, what are we doing here?” The bar’s too low, baby.

29:38 The bar is in hell.

29:41 Literally my mom.

29:41 Oh, she all the amount of times during this initial

29:44 I heard my mom comment on the height of a man.

29:45 I'm like, “That can't be the only criteria!” It was for me for the longest time.

29:49 Oh my God, for the I mean, obviously I've grown way,

29:53 way past that but the longest time when someone asked me like,

29:56 What do you want in a man?

29:58 Like what’s the first 3 things?

29:59 I'll start off with height.

30:02 Like who was I?

30:03 What was that?

30:04 You know, I still want to talk, I don't get me wrong, but it's not.

30:08 It's not like the criteria on the top,

30:10 it’s not number one, you know, it's number 4.

30:13 4 is still pretty high dude.

30:14 4- of all the qualities, 4’s still pretty high.

30:17 Okay, 5.

30:19 OK, let's, let's go backwards here because you are not trained in dance.

30:23 You taught yourself to dance, right?

30:25 Oh my God.

30:25 Yeah, Oh my God, yes.

30:27 Which is pretty crazy.

30:28 It's so crazy because obviously.

30:30 Because obviously, like a lot of the times when I was teaching

30:33 myself how to dance in my room in front of the mirror,

30:36 it was because like, I don't want my mom to see me,

30:39 you know- -Because she would be upset?

30:40 She she wouldn't be upset.

30:42 She'd be like, “Why are you doing?” Why are you doing time pass?

30:45 Like study, like do something.

30:47 What is this?

30:47 You're just dancing, you know, So it was never something like, “Oh my God!

30:50 My daughter can dance.

30:51 She should definitely take it up as a career.” Nobody said that ever.

30:56 You know, in our families, right?

30:58 So I'd always be like very like low key trying to.

31:00 To hide and then when in my high school or my middle school,

31:04 we'd have like end of the year assemblies

31:07 or South Asian heritage month or African heritage month

31:10 and then we'd like obviously on stage be

31:14 able to perform and celebrate certain, you know, talents.

31:17 And I'd be the first one to dance every time like it's always like,

31:20 Oh yeah, Nora, Nora is going to be on stage.

31:23 That was the vibe.

31:24 And I'd always want to make sure that my mom

31:26 doesn't know that I'm performing in every school assembly.

31:29 But at school I was like the IT girl because I would always be on stage.

31:33 So it was it was a weird time because I feel like I was living a double life.

31:38 At home I'm like, you know, yeah, I'm studying.

31:40 Which by the way, I was very studious,

31:42 like topper in all my classes was not trying

31:45 to like have my parents suspect about anything, you know?

31:50 But my extracurricular is always involved,

31:52 dancing always involve some sort of art and that's where I felt the happiest.

31:57 I felt like...

31:59 My spirit is alive when I was on stage, when I was dancing,

32:03 when I was doing anything that involved drama, acting, music.

32:08 And of course, you know, you're always told that this is not a career to to even

32:13 like look for because you don't make money through this.

32:17 How many people are going to become a star?

32:18 It's like one in a 1,000,000.

32:20 So it was never something I felt was, a conversation I can have with my parents.

32:27 Oh, Lilly!

32:27 I just remembered something.

32:29 -Tell me.

32:29 Oh my God!

32:30 -Tell me baby, -This is crazy.

32:31 So in grade 6, right, one of my teachers felt I had something.

32:37 So she called one of the biggest art schools in Toronto

32:41 and asked for a scholarship for me and she surprised me with it.

32:47 And she's like, all we need is a signature from your parents

32:50 saying that you're allowed to to go to the school and you know,

32:52 we have a scholarship.

32:55 And.

32:56 I went to my mom and I was like, Mama, please just sign this.

33:00 Like I really want to go to the school

33:02 because it's a school for music, art and dance.

33:05 And I was like if I go to the school, I will be a seasoned performer.

33:09 Especially if you start young.

33:11 She did not sign it!

33:13 She did not sign.

33:14 She's like.

33:16 No, like I.

33:17 How dare you even ask me?

33:19 that was the vibe& I lost out on that opportunity.

33:23 My teacher felt so bad.

33:24 She's like, what a shame.

33:26 She's like if you just had a platform and the resources,

33:29 you could really elevate.

33:30 And I think that moment created this fire

33:34 in me to teach myself because I’m like Okay, great.

33:38 The door closed and I'm not going to have those resources.

33:41 I’m going to create those resources for myself.

33:43 Let's go baby.

33:44 I'm sorry to hear.

33:45 That's really sad.

33:46 It's so crazy.

33:46 My mom is a great person by the way.

33:48 I'm just saying.

33:49 She's amazing.

33:51 She's just old fashion, you know?

33:53 Yeah, She knows completely.

33:54 No judgment to any parent here.

33:55 Everyone’s trying their best She's like,

33:57 why is this not the law school paper then?

34:01 Was there any shame associated with dancing?

34:05 Oh, yeah.

34:05 With everything.

34:06 I remember because I'm a dancer too.

34:08 I was a trained Bhangra dancer growing up.

34:11 Yes.

34:11 And to get my parents to get me to dance was a big hurdle.

34:15 Girls shouldn't dance at people 's wedding,

34:16 especially girls shouldn't be hired to perform people’s wedding In their minds,

34:19 that's a very special.

34:20 It’s besharam (shameless) Exactly.

34:21 So that was a really big thing.

34:22 It wasn't even the dancing necessarily.

34:24 It's you can't be a girl and be hired to perform at places as a dancer.

34:29 Yes, yes.

34:29 That’s disrespectful.

34:30 Yeah.

34:30 First of all, I'm the oldest child, so I had to like really deal with.

34:37 The harder part of my an immigrant family because

34:40 I feel like when you're the 3rd child you have

34:43 it so easy cause by that time your parents

34:45 have gone through it all and they don't even care.

34:48 But because I was the first child and we were in Toronto and they were

34:51 so scared that I might end up being

34:55 in situations that they would hate for example,

34:57 like I don't know running off with a boyfriend or getting pregnant at 16

35:01 or you know the, the scary things

35:03 that they associate with the western world when,

35:06 in hindsight, really I was like the best child.

35:09 Like all I cared about was...

35:11 dance and music and, and getting the best grade in school

35:15 and then having like my, my high school friends with me,

35:18 that's all we cared about.

35:19 We never did anything out of the ordinary.

35:22 But of course, in their mind, they create movies and stuff like that.

35:25 With my mom, she was just like, When I was 15 in middle school,

35:31 that was the time all the girls

35:32 started trying to experiment with makeup and like, dress a certain way.

35:36 You know how it is, right?

35:37 And all the cool girls would wear like really like hot stuff like.

35:41 Miniskirts and like, you know,

35:43 the high socks and like kind of Lacy tops and crop tops.

35:47 And I was not allowed to wear anything like that.

35:49 You know, if my mom could put me in a Punjabi suit and send me to school,

35:53 she could have, but we just didn't have access to Punjabi suits.

35:55 But she was very, very strict.

35:57 And I really wanted to look like the other girls.

36:00 So one of my girlfriends was like, here, there's this really cute top.

36:03 You should wear it with like a pair of jeans.

36:05 And it was like, backless from the top and like, super lacey, so cute.

36:09 And I was like, “Okay cool,

36:10 I’ll come to school and change and wear it And I wore it the whole day.

36:14 I was feeling myself.

36:15 I was like, yes, look at me, you know, I'm getting attention.

36:18 The guys are like talking to me and the the popular girls are talking to me.

36:22 And then it was the last class.

36:25 It was biology before the bell rang and I was

36:30 sitting towards the chalkboard and behind me is the door.

36:33 And the door had like a hole like, you know,

36:35 like a round window and like I don't know,

36:38 my spirit told me turn around, turn around.

36:40 So I turned around and my mom's face is right there.

36:47 Why was she there?

36:48 I don't know.

36:50 I think my mom has like the same thing that talks

36:52 to me in my ear that talks to her in her ear.

36:54 And she's sitting in the kitchen at home and her thing

36:56 is telling her “you need to go to school, your daughters do something crazy,

37:00 go and catch her right now!” And she's probably like driving,

37:03 running to me before I like change.

37:05 And she stood at the door and there was only one door to get out.

37:08 Like, how do I go to the bathroom and change, you know, and the bell.

37:13 Rings at 3:00 and it's 2:50.

37:14 And those 10 minutes was like the most scariest 10 minutes of my life.

37:17 I'm like sweating.

37:18 I'm trying to think what I'm going to say to her.

37:20 How do I get through?

37:21 Everyone's going to laugh at me.

37:23 I'm going to go through that hall of shame,

37:25 you know and that's exactly what happened.

37:27 That is exactly what happened.

37:29 She shamed me in front of everybody.

37:32 Yeah, OK.

37:33 That's really interesting to me because I have to, I have

37:35 to just comment on the fact that you dress super sexy.

37:40 I don't.

37:40 I mean, I don't give.

37:41 Eventually they give up.

37:42 I wish you the like I think my mom came

37:45 around where she was like its not about the clothes,

37:47 it really isn't about the dancing or what you aspire to be.

37:52 It's about your personality and how you're brought up.

37:55 So I think eventually she realized after seeing my growth

37:59 and listening to my story and meeting a lot of people,

38:02 she realized she brought me up well The ethics,

38:05 the morals, the principle, the faith, all of that is intact.

38:11 So when you know your child.

38:13 Has the right foundation.

38:15 Everything else is.

38:17 Superficial.

38:17 It doesn't really matter what you wear, you know what I mean?

38:19 Like I'll walk around in a crop top, but I'll never.

38:23 I'll never hurt somebody.

38:24 I'll never cheat somebody.

38:25 I'll never lie to somebody.

38:27 I'll never, you know, scam somebody.

38:31 I have so much love in my heart and respect for my elders.

38:34 I take care of my mom, I take care of my family.

38:37 These things are so important as you get.

38:39 Older, you start to differentiate between what matters and what doesn't matter.

38:43 And I think our culture has something to do with that because like, for example,

38:48 in Moroccan culture, similar to brown culture,

38:50 if someone like steals, you'd be like, oh, like.

38:54 He's just lost, like God will like forgive him.

38:58 He'll be fine.

38:59 He will figure it out.

39:00 We'll talk to him.

39:00 You know what I mean?

39:01 But if someone doesn't dress a certain like way

39:05 or doesn't follow the religion or something like that, you go,

39:08 Oh my God, like he doesn't pray and Oh my God, look at how he dressed.

39:11 She dresses.

39:12 We, we give importance to the wrong thing.

39:15 We forget that one can still find themselves

39:18 and be an individual because it's all about individuality,

39:21 how you carry yourself.

39:22 But as long as their heart is clean.

39:24 And their intention is clean.

39:26 That's all that really matters.

39:27 And it takes a lot of life experience to settle at that and understand that.

39:31 And I think my mom went through so much and saw me go through someone so.

39:36 And become what I am that she's also

39:38 understood it's about here, what is in here.

39:40 It's not about like wearing right?

39:42 I think it's honest.

39:43 And I love that.

39:44 I love what you said.

39:44 I think it's about redefining what it means to be a good girl.

39:47 Even for most of our lives, we've been taught a good girl dressed a certain way,

39:51 speaks a certain way, sits a certain way.

39:53 Don't get me started.

39:54 And then you realize that actually,

39:56 like a good girl is someone who's honest, who works hard, who's kind.

40:01 Concept of a good girl, we got it all wrong.

40:04 This is all just image.

40:05 It's like ‘Samne’ (in front), she's in the front,

40:07 but what’s ‘Peeche’, what’s behind is a whole different story.

40:10 At least if you're real samne frontal se like in the front,

40:15 then you could be real from behind too.

40:17 Do you know what I'm trying to say Like whatever you.

40:21 Whatever you see is this, I'm never going to put up a front

40:24 so that I feel like that's the good girl concept where you're real,

40:29 you're true to yourself.

40:33 And whatever you dish out like to the people is what you have,

40:36 what you do at home.

40:37 It's not like what I do at home is different than what I do outside.

40:40 I am who I am.

40:41 And I think the concept of me run like dressing a certain way

40:44 at home and then running away from home and going to school and changing that.

40:48 It was a turning point in my mind where I was like, no, this is wrong.

40:52 Like if this is who I am,

40:54 I have to be like this and accept it and allow people to accept me.

40:57 This 2 phase kind of lifestyle is wrong, which is what I was.

41:01 I'm not here to advocate for people,

41:03 to do things, just to make the society proud.

41:07 Do what you want to do.

41:09 Be your individual self, accept who you are and be proud of it.

41:13 I think that's what a concept of a good girl should be.

41:15 Yeah.

41:15 I also feel like the world is so quick to put women in binary,

41:19 good, bad, good, bad.

41:19 Like we're nuanced.

41:20 Like your heart is good, you as a person is good.

41:23 You're not going to hurt somebody.

41:24 You're not going to move reckless.

41:28 That's what I feel like good should mean.

41:31 That goes for guys too, by the way, I think like guys,

41:35 we don't talk about guys being good, good guys, good boys enough.

41:40 I think we talk about good girls way too much where I'm like,

41:43 we've forgotten about the guys and a lot

41:46 of the guys have moved so reckless in life.

41:48 I think parents don't focus on raising them on how they need to treat women,

41:53 raising them on how important it is to be gentle.

41:58 With women, especially when they're dating.

42:00 Especially when they're married, when they're having kids with them,

42:04 when they're in the workforce and they're mingling

42:06 with women in the office or wherever they are.

42:09 I think we forget on how important it is to hammer the idea of being good guys.

42:15 I completely agree.

42:16 We're gonna do something fun, OK, Because you're so open and honest.

42:19 OK.

42:19 We're gonna play a little game called TMI.

42:21 Too much information.

42:26 Oh, my God, I suffer from doing that on a daily basis.

42:29 Come to naturally, I'm going to be some prompts, OK?

42:31 And you're going to give me your answers.

42:33 Yeah.

42:33 OK.

42:33 Have you ever asked a man to buy you tampons or sanitary napkins?

42:39 Yeah, pads.

42:40 Yeah.

42:42 I asked my assistant.

42:46 No, but here's the thing.

42:48 So my assistant is obviously from India and you know,

42:51 he is a little bit like old school, right?

42:54 So for me to be like, oh,

42:56 like get me pads from the chemist, you know, he's just like.

43:00 And then he'll come to give it to me.

43:01 But then he'll give it to me like he's giving me drugs.

43:04 Do you know?

43:04 I understand what I mean.

43:06 And I'm always like, kya ho Gaya?

43:08 Like, what's wrong?

43:08 It’s just pads.

43:09 Like, just give it to me, like, openly.

43:11 It's cool.

43:11 It's nothing to be ashamed of.

43:13 So I had to do that with him so many times.

43:15 So he realized that it's actually, like, a very normal thing.

43:18 It's nothing to be ashamed of.

43:20 But I found that really cool.

43:21 Yeah.

43:23 Have you ever given a male a lesson on consent?

43:27 Never really had a problem like that.

43:30 Because remember, they're intimidated by me.

43:32 Yeah, they don't come within 2 feet of you.

43:34 You're like I would if they would come close to me.

43:36 Maybe you know, all right, don't even.

43:39 Yeah about it.

43:40 Yeah, it worked.

43:42 What's the weirdest superstition or ritual you secretly believe works?

43:45 Whether it's like pre performance, pre audition, whatever.

43:49 I probably still have it.

43:50 But like a black tikka behind my ear before I go

43:54 and perform or before I go in front of public- Like an eyeliner?

43:57 Yeah, I'm always like my makeup artist.

43:59 She'll, she'll, she's.

44:00 I don't even tell her anymore.

44:02 She just does it.

44:02 But I do believe that and.

44:06 I'm so superstitiously like I'm Moroccan, Moroccan in India,

44:10 like we 2 countries are so superstitious mixing in together.

44:14 You know, I'm very, very superstitious.

44:16 So yeah, well, there's been, we're working.

44:18 You've been getting no nazar.

44:19 I feel like.

44:20 Yeah, of course.

44:20 That and also prayers, like I'm a very like prayed up.

44:23 Yeah, prayed up.

44:24 Love it.

44:25 What's the wildest reason you developed a crush on someone?

44:29 Their height.

44:32 Solely their height.

44:33 What was the height?

44:34 What is the height that gets you?

44:35 So I'm 5’6”, right?

44:36 I'm gonna love to wear heels.

44:39 But I don't know, like, I think I'm,

44:40 I have some trauma because when I see someone who's tall,

44:43 I'm like, it's a man, like, he's masculine.

44:45 And like, my ovaries start to work overdrive.

44:48 Like, I don't know what's going on.

44:50 I'm like, wow, what is this conditioning?

44:52 And then he opens his mouth and it's like, whoa, yeah, yeah, yeah.

44:55 Downhill from there.

44:57 Height always solves so many things, Baby girl.

45:00 Have you ever asked a man out on a date?

45:02 No.

45:04 And I just had this conversation with some

45:06 of my girlfriends who are like, you have to try.

45:09 Like if you find someone who could be a potential,

45:14 just try just DM them or just approach them.

45:18 I said over my dead body.

45:20 Why?

45:20 Fear of rejection.

45:22 For real?

45:24 Like I've accepted it.

45:25 Fear of rejection.

45:27 I just cannot.

45:29 And there's like there was this one guy I saw and I was like,

45:32 Oh my God, like this is like, should I?

45:35 I couldn’t.

45:37 I probably missed out of my soul mate, but I couldn't.

45:40 It’s okay.

45:40 He was probably 5’9”.

45:44 Have you ever lied to protect someone's reputation?

45:47 Yes.

45:47 Yes.

45:48 You're like everyday, all the time.

45:50 It's not even a thing for sure.

45:51 Like if I have to protect someone, I will.

45:54 I'll lie to the cows, come home.

45:56 Especially if like someone close to me, Yeah.

45:58 Have you ever lied to protect your own reputation?

46:01 Well, no, not really, because I don't have.

46:06 Lilly, I don't have a life.

46:08 I just need you to know that like I don't have a life.

46:11 I don't have a personal life.

46:13 Like I'm not someone that dates around.

46:14 Like right now, If I look at my life since I was 16,

46:18 it's only been hustling and working.

46:19 I never partied.

46:22 I've never like had the you know, the college era,

46:27 never experienced that because I didn't finish college.

46:31 I didn't never drink alcohol in my life.

46:34 Never really went on a girls’ trip.

46:36 Never really..

46:37 This is so depressing.

46:39 I've never really done shit like I've just worked.

46:42 If I didn't work in Toronto to make a living and take care of my brother,

46:45 then I worked in India to make a name for myself.

46:47 So I've never really done anything.

46:49 Now I think I'm too famous to do anything so.

46:52 I don't think.

46:54 I had to do like I had to lie to protect

46:57 my reputation cause I've never lived life on the edge like that unfortunately.

47:06 Speaking of girls and guys, I want to ask you about your new song,

47:09 which, by the way, is a BOP.

47:10 Oh, “What do I know”,- “Just a Girl (what do I know?) Yes, yes.

47:13 What was the impetus behind this song?

47:15 So it's so funny because, when they made me hear the song,

47:19 So Justin Tranter wrote it and he's like a very big writer,

47:24 Grammy Award winning writer.

47:26 I said I heard it and I was like, wow,

47:29 I can really connect to these lyrics in so many ways.

47:33 Being a star, I understand the idea of not getting your flowers.

47:40 And then when you're around and you're killing it, you get so much of hate.

47:43 And then when you disappear and you're gone, that's when everyone is like, oh.

47:47 We’ve really loved her and like, we need to give her flowers.

47:50 And I'm not saying that I'm going through that myself,

47:52 but I when I study a lot of these icons that I follow,

47:55 I realize that a lot of them have a similar story where when they were around,

48:01 they were receiving so much of hate

48:03 and backlash and controversy, after controversy?

48:06 And then when they leave, whether they die or they retire or they

48:11 move on, then everyone wants to be like, oh,

48:14 you know, there's so iconic and their music and this and you know,

48:18 blah blah and I'm just like, why are we like this?

48:21 Like why is the society like this where they

48:24 don't appreciate what they have when they have it.

48:26 And I think a lot of that we have that in the lyrics.

48:29 Like they they like hate you when you glow, but love you as a ghost.

48:33 And that's something a lot of people who are in my shoes face on a daily basis.

48:38 I mean, I face that all the time.

48:40 And then I realize wait...

48:41 It's it's really a woman thing.

48:43 Like women really do go through this where we have

48:46 to like conform to the rules of the society and...

48:51 yes, it's a patriotical society,

48:52 but at the same time it's a society where you kind

48:56 of know what the deal is and you have to kind

48:59 of go through the fine lines to get what you

49:02 want and to make a position for yourself in this world.

49:05 When I heard the lyrics I'm like,

49:07 I'm sure a lot of women will will relate to this.

49:10 A lot of women are going to understand that in sarcasm.

49:14 What do I know?

49:14 I'm just the girl.

49:16 We all have to deal with that when we're maneuvering and navigating,

49:19 whether it's in the entertainment industry or if it's in the corporate

49:23 world or wherever the woman is trying to break the glass ceiling.

49:28 We always have to deal with people who will always undermine us.

49:32 And even if you see the music video we started

49:34 off with- Which I love by the way -Thank you!

49:36 We started off with the casting and there's like

49:38 3 men and they don't even care about me auditioning.

49:41 I just throw the script.

49:42 Then they only care about my look and I get hired.

49:44 But that's really sarcasm because it really isn't like that.

49:47 Like we have to move mountains to reach where we want to reach as women.

49:52 And unfortunately no matter how much you

49:55 accomplish people will always find an excuse.

49:58 You know, it's only because she knows this person,

50:00 only because she's hard, only because of this.

50:03 And really, it's not like that.

50:04 But I'm just a girl.

50:05 What do I know?

50:06 That will change the next time I see you.

50:08 But when you saw me at the Vanity Fair,

50:10 by the way, guys, I have to tell you, she's the sweetest.

50:13 I went to the Vanity Fair party this year in LA,

50:16 which was so foreign to me and scary because my team is like,

50:20 no one can go inside with you.

50:21 You're going alone.

50:22 And I'm like, oh, but nobody knows me like.

50:24 It was scary and I felt like I was doing India all over again, by the way.

50:27 And then I walk into this party with so many people and I was so intimidated.

50:32 And she spots me and she takes me under her wing

50:36 and she takes care of me the whole evening like I felt.

50:40 First of all, I felt like a prayer was answered and then I was like,

50:43 yeah, it's like the Toronto girls are helping each other.

50:45 And trust me, if the like if I was on your situation or position,

50:50 I would have done the same thing if I seen you.

50:52 But the fact that you did that for me and I.

50:57 Honestly, in the last 10 years, I haven't really had that.

51:00 Girls in my industry don't really welcome me with open hearts,

51:03 unfortunately, with open hands, unfortunately.

51:05 But to see you as a girl do that was a big deal for me.

51:10 Yeah.

51:11 Never lose the faith in sisterhood.

51:13 Never lose sisterhood is the sisterhood is strong, baby.

51:17 Yeah, I agree.

51:17 And I agree.

51:18 And I want to thank you for taking being so

51:20 gracious with your time talking to me on Shame Less.

51:22 I hope this was a different kind of conversation, It was,

51:25 I hope it kind of gave you an insight of who I am.

51:29 It did.

51:29 I feel like I know you really well.

51:31 I mean, I want to keep getting to know you the next time

51:33 we go to a wild party and I let you live some college days.

51:36 But I you've been so open and honest and I want to thank you so much.

51:39 So thank you for having me.

51:41 I appreciate it.

51:41 Love it!

51:46 Alright guys, I need you to subscribe to this channel immediately.

51:49 We just finished my interview on Shame Less.

51:52 This was one of the most safe space unfiltered

51:54 moments I have had in a very long time.

51:56 Lilly looks like a boss.

51:58 She made me feel so comfortable and I had a blast.