Superstore moments that are my Kryptonite

0:00 Maybe.

0:00 How do I get down on the ground?

0:02 Get out.

0:04 Get down.

0:04 Get down.

0:05 Get down.

0:06 Touch the ground or get out.

0:10 Wait, calm down.

0:11 Do what I say.

0:11 Nobody gets hurt.

0:13 This is what I'm training for.

0:14 Now, I'm going to start killing somebody every minute.

0:16 Unless Unless you agree to marry me, Cheyenne.

0:21 Oh, I wonder why.

0:22 Okay.

0:27 Hey, Cloud9.

0:29 Come inside.

0:30 [music] Societyy's a mirage and sex is a prison.

0:35 Yeah.

0:35 What do you think about that?

0:36 It's an interesting tattoo.

0:38 Is that a unicorn?

0:40 It's a horse with a railroad spike through his head.

0:44 I see that now.

0:45 Now, just walk me through some of the features on some of these guys,

0:49 cuz a lot of them are saying they do plaque control.

0:52 My concern specifically is tartar.

0:57 Um, listen up, dirt bag.

0:58 Ow.

0:59 Do you need some water or a mint?

1:02 God, you're just so pretty.

1:03 Are you going to let me go or what?

1:05 I want to, but Amy here is a maniac.

1:07 She's loco.

1:09 Uh, yeah.

1:10 Loco.

1:12 Loco about busting purse.

1:14 [screaming] Condolence cards, huh?

1:21 Bummer.

1:22 Who died?

1:23 Uh, a friend of mine.

1:25 You don't look very upset.

1:26 Probably not that good a friend.

1:28 Can I see a death certificate?

1:39 What?

1:39 It's all coming back to me.

1:40 It's like riding a 4-tonon bicycle.

1:43 You hear that?

1:44 That's the sound of victory.

1:46 No, no, no, no, no.

1:52 Hey, uh, can I ask you a question?

1:53 Yeah, sure.

1:54 What's going on?

1:55 Uh, which of these headphones would you recommend?

1:57 Personally, I like those.

1:59 So, uh, to welcome our new employees.

2:05 Welcome.

2:06 Welcome to Cloud9.

2:08 This is my jam.

2:10 I'm just basically looking for an everyday brush.

2:12 You just kind of that workhorse, you know,

2:15 that's in the collection that I can know

2:16 I'm just going to put in the minutes with.

2:23 I'll be right back.

2:24 Excuse me.

2:27 I have some questions about bristle density.

2:33 I think this does something.

2:36 Should I have a belt?

2:38 It's a tiny little needle.

2:39 All right, just do it.

2:42 I'm I'm really sorry.

2:43 Each member of the winning team takes home $100.

2:49 I could really use that money.

2:51 I've been saving up for one of those 3D ultrasounds.

2:53 You know, the one where the baby's all like,

2:56 "Let's go over some basics." You're going to take your mag.

2:59 The black part is actually going to go towards the back of the gun.

3:07 It's him.

3:07 It's him.

3:08 Go, go, go.

3:11 Hey, we just want to talk.

3:14 Stop.

3:15 That's one of our carts.

3:16 That's one of our carts.

3:17 What?

3:18 Who cares?

3:20 What are you doing?

3:24 Who cares?

3:25 I care.

3:27 Hey,

3:28 that is Cloud9 store property.

3:30 [music] She's getting away with me.

3:42 Sizzling in a fashion forward take on Cloud9 Nightwear.

3:48 Work it, Matteo.

3:50 And now we have Glenn rocking the don't let him near your children collection.

3:56 Oh, shake what the good Lord gave you, Glenn.

4:00 And here's Myrtle carrying a bicycle tire.

4:04 My only regrets are the times I overthought

4:06 things and didn't go for what I wanted.

4:08 There you go.

4:09 I mean, why fight nature?

4:10 We're all just animals, right?

4:14 I think this one is good for tartar.

4:17 Tart tart?

4:18 Nope.

4:19 It's tartar.

4:21 No.

4:21 Tart tartar.

4:22 Tartar.

4:23 Tartar.

4:24 Tart.

4:24 Tartar.

4:25 I This all just sounded like gibberish.

4:26 Let me Let me just take a run up on it.

4:28 Um I like my fish with tartar sauce.

4:31 It's still weird.

4:33 Hey, Emma.

4:36 You You've been in here a while.

4:38 Is Is everything okay?

4:39 I'm fine.

4:40 Can you get my mom?

4:42 Uh you know, your mom is actually with our boss right now,

4:46 and I don't want to get her in trouble.

4:47 So,

4:47 can you please just get her?

4:48 Uh, you know, Emma, whatever it is, you can trust me.

4:52 I promise you.

4:53 I got my first period.

4:56 I'm going to go get your mom.

4:57 This is it.

4:58 The baby's coming.

5:01 [screaming]

5:05 All right.

5:06 That's nice.

5:06 I like that.

5:07 I like that.

5:10 Oh, okay.

5:11 Yeah.

5:11 This is it, guys.

5:13 It's coming.

5:13 This is the moment.

5:15 Oh.

5:15 Um, the contraction stopped.

5:21 Oh, that's um Huh.

5:23 It's Braxton Hicks.

5:24 I guess it's false labor.

5:27 I guess I should put on my pants now.

5:33 Hi.

5:33 Would you like to take a picture for Stratus magazine?

5:36 That sound fun?

5:37 Hey, what are you deaf?

5:41 Oh my god, he's deaf.

5:43 I need help with my toothbrush selection.

5:49 Toothbrushes.

5:53 You work here.

5:58 Interviewing for assistant manager Fernando Aino.

6:04 Do you want to?

6:09 [music]

6:11 Are you ready, Matteo?

6:13 I'm I'm sorry.

6:13 I I just offered the job to Amy.

6:16 I I didn't know you were interested.

6:22 Oh, I see.

6:25 Congratulations.

6:28 Thank you.

6:32 Oh, wow.

6:34 Oh wow.

6:35 Do I have that?

6:40 Wall to wall, brother.

6:41 Oh no.

6:43 Yeah.

6:42 Oh gosh.

6:43 That's what that is.

6:44 Happens to the best of us.

6:45 There's celebrities that have too much tartar.

6:49 Okay.

6:48 Lionel Richie.

6:50 No.

6:52 Yeah.

6:51 This stuff is $2500.

6:53 That's like half of both stack.

6:56 Plus a car seat and a crib and daycare and just keeps coming.

7:03 Dang, I don't have to get hit by so many cars.

7:07 Maybe we should save some of our wedding money for the future.

7:11 Huh?

7:11 Yeah, you could do that.

7:14 You do have to make some sacrifices when you're a parent.

7:17 I mean, your whole life changes.

7:22 Bo, you look weird.

7:25 Yeah.

7:26 Hey,

7:26 but I think it's great that you guys are starting to think about being here.

7:38 I was going [music] to say responsible.

7:41 So, um I'm just going to come out and say it.

7:45 You know, I think I deserve a raise.

7:49 Absolutely.

7:51 Really?

7:51 Yeah.

7:51 A big one.

7:52 Would you be willing to tell people about that?

7:56 Am I sure?

7:57 Yeah, I'll definitely I'll tell whoever you want.

8:00 Yeah.

8:01 Oh my god.

8:02 Hey, I am killing it over here.

8:04 You're only discounting everything 25%.

8:06 Right.

8:07 Yeah.

8:07 Scan, reassign.

8:08 Yes.

8:09 Override.

8:10 Yes.

8:10 Repric

8:12 reduce.

8:14 Huh?

8:13 Reduce 0.25.

8:14 Repric25.

8:15 That would change everything to 25.

8:25 [music]

8:24 Shut it down.

8:26 Shut it all down.

8:27 I know you brought your daughter into work.

8:29 I got to write you up.

8:30 You get it.

8:31 We give you the love and we take away the evil.

8:34 Amen.

8:37 Huh?

8:49 Got it.

8:50 Great day, guys.