Open Tabs Is Back and Tickling Bert’s Brain | Open Tabs #39
Bert Kreischer
0:00 The guilded age is if you are white and not a billionaire, you[ __][ __] suck.
0:11 Can we just start with this one, guys?
0:12 It's a new episode of Open Tabs.
0:14 This is where I show you all the tabs that I've opened.
0:17 These days, it's just on Instagram.
0:19 Although, there's a couple things that I'll bring
0:20 up as I remember them and I'll pull up.
0:23 And this is I'm sharing this with the Birdie Boy Production team.
0:27 Um, these are the things I've learned that I'm
0:28 obsessed with that tickle whatever the[ __] wrong with me.
0:32 And I have notes.
0:33 I have notes.
0:34 I want to start with I have a fear of clowns.
0:36 Okay.
0:37 But I realized I don't have a fear of makeup.
0:40 Oh, okay.
0:41 I always thought it was the makeup on clowns.
0:42 I couldn't kiss a girl who ever wore lipstick.
0:44 Like if a girl put on puts on lipstick, I'm like, that's you.
0:49 Okay.
0:49 Like heavy red lipstick.
0:52 Yeah.
0:52 Oh, I get it.
0:53 Sensation thing.
0:53 Do Asians wear lipstick?
0:55 Not really.
0:56 Now, you guys aren't cool with makeup, are you?
0:58 No, we do minimal makeup.
1:00 Yeah.
1:00 Well, unless you're a geisha.
1:02 Oh, yeah.
1:02 Unless you're like Kabuki, Geisha.
1:05 Yeah, they go[ __] hardcore.
1:06 Was that like a little bit of white face?
1:08 What about Drewuski's white face?
1:09 Did you watch Oh my god.
1:12 I haven't seen it.
1:12 I haven't seen it.
1:14 I haven't seen it.
1:15 I haven't seen Drewuski.
1:16 All I saw was Matt Refe came after anyone who made fun of him.
1:19 And then Whitney sent me a video of her baby doing dishes.
1:22 And then I said, "Is that Kevin Hart doing Druski?"
1:25 Doing the Druski white face.
1:27 She never replied.
1:29 Oh
1:29 yeah, Whitney.
1:30 Well, Erica Kirk came after him and said,
1:31 "If I could if Drewski could do white face, I'm like, I could do black face."
1:35 Oh my god.
1:35 Please let Erica Kirk do blackface.
1:37 Please, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE.
1:39 ERICA KIRK, my name's B Chryser.
1:40 I will help you with the accent.
1:41 I will do every part of this.
1:43 OH MY GOD.
1:43 IF THERE IS A WOMAN OH MY GOD.
1:45 I WOULD[ __] love Erica Kirk to do blackface.
1:50 I would[ __] love.
1:52 What would be great is if she if that opened up if Here's the deal.
1:56 Like Drew Ski started with White Face, White Face, right?
1:59 And when he did the he did the NASCAR guy.
2:02 Yeah.
2:02 Yeah.
2:02 The like hillbilly guy.
2:04 Yeah.
2:04 And it was so good that part of you was like
2:07 he I mean I don't like I didn't really know what
2:09 Drew did before this, but like he's a pretty good actor.
2:14 Yeah.
2:14 Like he's like he can
2:16 he commits.
2:16 He commits and he gets into character.
2:18 He's as good.
2:18 He could be on SNL and crush it.
2:22 Yeah.
2:23 Um
2:23 and then when he did Eric I've been seeing her Erica Kirk when he did Eric Kirk.
2:26 Everyone said it's awesome.
2:27 It's awesome.
2:28 And then so he pulled up receipts cuz Erica was like,
2:31 "Well, he's black." And then Druski was like, "Well, my grand
2:34 Who is she sharing that with?" "Well, he's black."
2:37 The world.
2:39 Um and then Drewi pulled up receipts of his fully white grandfather be like,
2:42 "I'm a quarter white.
2:44 I can do it if we want to talk[ __] 243 in me at for me.
2:49 If I got No, for me if I got any black, I would love
2:52 get the pass.
2:54 There's zero chance.
2:55 I know.
2:57 I you know I it's I remember a time when blackface was not frowned upon.
3:03 Oh yeah.
3:05 Yeah.
3:04 I remember there's a 30 Rock episode and Will Forte is just doing it casually.
3:09 Yeah.
3:09 It's not even really like a a a bit really.
3:12 He was just in blackface.
3:13 No, there's I I'll pause on this.
3:16 That's all I'm seeing.
3:17 So, we're talking about makeup.
3:18 We're getting to Steam Power Giraffe in a second.
3:21 And by the way, I hope to blow this band up.
3:23 I I'm They are good musicians.
3:26 I I don't Whatever the thing is with me that of the thing
3:29 I like um this tickles a little bit of it.
3:33 Now, I love I I'm obsessed with I'm
3:40 obsessed with everyone searching for fame on the internet.
3:44 Everyone's searching for a brand or a title
3:47 or a video that works so they do more of it.
3:49 I love that.
3:50 And we're going to dig into some of those.
3:52 Like a like a woman who finds an angle that if she sits that way,
3:56 people notice it better and then she does that for all.
3:59 I love all of that because a lot of that's the collective unconscious
4:02 of them wanting to be famous but not saying they're wanting to be famous.
4:05 I I love that.
4:06 And because it's a little bit
4:07 of disingenuousness and then they're portraying it.
4:10 They don't even know what they're doing.
4:11 It's almost like watching a kid make a cake in a Betty Crocker and going like,
4:15 "You can't eat that.
4:16 You're going to get sick.
4:18 You're not doing it right.
4:19 Just say you want to be famous.
4:21 Don't try to lie to us and say you want to be famous." Here's my question.
4:25 What if they came on Bcast would they have to be they would come?
4:29 Oh, hold on.
4:30 Hold on.
4:30 We haven't gotten to Steam Power Giraffe.
4:31 First of all, Steam Power Giraffe is different.
4:34 They a second the makeup's on.
4:36 I understand that they have a brand.
4:38 They have a band.
4:40 They have an angle.
4:42 They have something they're into.
4:43 I understand their nuances.
4:44 I understand everything about them.
4:46 I get all of it right here, right on the face.
4:49 I get all of it.
4:50 They're not going to transition into country artists.
4:54 That's never gonna happen for Steam Power Giraffe.
4:56 The thing that and I mean this and I want to just say this
4:59 in all three of them.
5:00 The thing that
5:04 that turned them on as kids that's that hooked them like an imprint.
5:09 They got imprinted.
5:10 I remember hearing when you know when Louis got in trouble someone was
5:14 talking about sexual imprinting and you don't get to pick what imprints on you.
5:18 If you like to get tied up,
5:20 some[ __] happened to you as a kid that you saw that and that turns you
5:23 on and then all of a sudden that's your thing and you can't[ __] help that.
5:27 It's the Wonder Woman thing.
5:29 That's his
5:30 That's mine.
5:30 That's mine.
5:31 Is the tie up.
5:32 Was Wonder Woman a big part of like your childhood?
5:35 Linda Carter to this day is a[ __] queen.
5:39 Yeah,
5:38 she is so beautiful.
5:39 She is so beautiful that I Googled the $6
5:41 million man because that was around the same
5:44 time cuz I always wanted to be him because he seemed like he had access to her.
5:47 Well, I Wonder Woman.
5:49 Great rack, great body.
5:51 Yeah.
5:51 The most the cutest smile in the world.
5:54 Brunette.
5:55 Did not see that coming.
5:57 Really?
5:57 No, but she's a brunette.
5:58 That's true.
5:59 I feel like that era was very blonde.
6:01 Mhm.
6:02 Very blonde.
6:02 Everything was blonde.
6:05 Yeah.
6:04 Uh Linda Carter's absolutely gorgeous.
6:07 And but you can't pick your imprint.
6:08 Wonder Woman's an imprint on me.
6:10 Yeah, I was with the dominatrix uh a long time ago
6:13 for a TV segment and she kind of based on my age
6:16 told me what I'd like and then gave me a bunch
6:18 of videos and they all[ __] worked and I was like,
6:20 "Wow." Now, having said that, I can't change that about me.
6:26 And that's the thing I like about a celebrity.
6:28 Like Eminem got imprinted with hip-hop.
6:30 He's never doing anything but hip-hop.
6:32 As popular as country music may get,
6:35 he's never going to do a country album cuz he's Eminem.
6:38 He's Eminem.
6:40 He's That's his[ __] thing, right?
6:42 I dig that.
6:44 Well, I'm never I'm never going to release a music album.
6:47 And if I do, it'll be comedic in nature.
6:49 Even when I tried to be cool, I was always comedic.
6:52 I I I was a fool.
6:54 When you see me try to be cool to this day,
6:56 I still look foolish because I'm a comedian at nature.
6:59 This is why I love Steam Power Giraffe.
7:01 It's and we're here to tell you about our March 15th,
7:05 2026 show in Mesa, Arizona at the Piper Repatory Theater.
7:13 And now we have a big old high five.
7:20 Hey, I hear there's also VIP tickets available so you can meet us.
7:24 WHO TOLD YOU THAT?
7:25 UH, the the show people did.
7:28 Oh, okay.
7:28 Oh, those people know what they're doing.
7:30 We'll let it slide this time.
7:31 All right.
7:32 So, come out and see the robot band Steam
7:34 Powered Giraffe at the Piper Repatory Theater in Mesa, Arizona.
7:38 That's at the Mesa Arts Center.
7:40 That's March 15th, 2026.
7:43 That's Art Center.
7:44 Howdy.
7:45 It's us, the band Ste, and we're here to tell you about our I love it.
7:52 Whatever thing they do, I I'm so fascinated.
7:56 Now, their music is legit good.
7:58 Obviously, they're artists.
7:58 They're, you know, obviously they're kids that studied in band.
8:02 They know how to play the instruments.
8:04 They they are well, you know,
8:06 it's like when you when you see this, there's a lot that goes into that.
8:10 You know, that's just you don't just pick that up.
8:12 Now, this one of their Yeah.
8:13 Like a song of theirs.
8:14 Uh, sure.
8:15 Now, I want I just real quick before we keep going,
8:18 I just want to let Steam Power Giraffe know.
8:21 Never I hope you're watching.
8:23 Never do this ever again.
8:25 It's me, David Michael Bennett from
8:26 Stop.
8:26 Stop.
8:27 Stop.
8:27 David Michael Bennett.
8:28 I don't ever want to see you without makeup on ever again in your life.
8:31 I understand that you run this page and I understand the makeup's a lot, buddy.
8:34 Commit to the[ __] art.
8:36 Commit to the[ __] brand.
8:37 You're Steam Power giraffe.
8:38 I can't see you as Jean Simmons.
8:41 I need to see I need to see you.
8:43 You broke my heart.
8:44 You broke my[ __] heart.
8:46 I now
8:48 take this down.
8:48 Take it down.
8:49 Please.
8:49 Please.
8:50 Please take it down.
8:50 You can't do this.
8:51 Just put the[ __] or put a mask on or like or like just put the glove up.
8:56 Hi.
8:58 Oh, okay.
8:59 Let's listen to their music real quick and we'll blow up Steam Power Giraffe.
9:02 I think this is probably it.
9:10 Oh, this is Chapel Road.
9:12 Do they only cover?
9:13 They have their own.
9:14 Doesn't matter to me.
9:14 But do they have original stuff?
9:16 I'm sure they do, but it's You know what?
9:18 It's like, hey, I wouldn't mind a couple covers in their show.
9:22 I wouldn't mind to like go in and watch them.
9:26 They're doing like legit He's got a great voice.
9:31 This is like a legit uh music video that they have.
9:34 I like the Android vibe.
9:36 I do too.
9:37 He does commit to it, too.
9:38 Like all the movements obviously.
9:41 Can I tell you the most the most mysterious?
9:42 It's not just face paint, though, cuz he's bald.
9:44 It is true.
9:45 Yeah, it's
9:46 got to go all the way back.
9:47 No, this
9:48 Okay, we're getting Okay.
9:50 No.
9:50 No.
9:50 I'm in.
9:53 I like he's got a great voice.
9:59 Let's see.
9:59 Would they do birthdays?
10:03 Oh,
10:06 I would love to have them.
10:07 I mean, the problem is like I should see if they can come on the cruise.
10:14 Hi, we're Steam Power Giraffe and we'll
10:17 be performing on the Fully Loaded at Sea.
10:20 I love it.
10:21 I[ __] love it.
10:23 I love I I I my the most mysterious one is the black guy.
10:29 Well, yeah.
10:29 So, so like here's the deal.
10:31 I have I have white kids.
10:33 David comes from a white family.
10:35 Uh that's lead lead steam power giraffe.
10:38 When his dad sees this, his dad goes, "Oh,
10:40 David's up to his magic, his tricks." But the black guy,
10:44 he comes from like when they're at the picnic or the barbecue and they're like,
10:49 "Darnell, what you been up to?" and he's like,
10:51 "We're in steam powered giraffe." You know,
10:54 there's someone like, "What the fuck?"
10:56 Or his dad, someone at the picnic is like,
10:58 "Hey, what's Darnell up to these days?" And then the dad has to say,
11:03 "Shit, couldn't get whiter." So, but and by the way, Darnell right now is like,
11:08 "Is that his name?" Oh, I don't know his name.
11:11 He's probably like, "That's not true at all."
11:14 But there is like culturally culturally uh steam steampunk.
11:19 I think this is steampunk, right?
11:23 Adjacent.
11:22 Steamp punk adjacent.
11:24 Uh, like kink adjacent has never been like huge in the black community.
11:29 That's[ __] fascinating.
11:30 Unlock something.
11:31 I think it's I mean,
11:33 how cool would it be if you got a rapper who was into, you know,
11:35 who's into steampunk?
11:37 Who?
11:37 T.
11:37 Payne.
11:39 Really?
11:39 Yeah, that makes sense.
11:40 He had that whole outfit that one time
11:41 on like Coachella or something that was really steampunk.
11:43 Well, he when with the not to blow your spot up pain,
11:47 but like when when uh CO came out, he had a full-blown leather mask made.
11:53 Oh, cool.
11:54 That was like intense.
11:56 I think I I remember that.
11:58 Yeah.
11:59 Yeah.
11:59 It was like a[ __] intense
12:00 like a co mask.
12:02 Yeah.
12:02 Yeah.
12:02 All right.
12:03 Steam Power Gira Giraffe.
12:04 We should probably mention their tour dates.
12:06 Um Saturday, April 4th at the California Center for the in Escandido.
12:12 That's like right around the Next week,
12:14 Escandido, Mesa, Arizona, Saturday, March 15th.
12:17 That already happened.
12:18 April 4th at the top that has all of them if you want to read it.
12:21 Uh, tonight.
12:22 Oh, yeah.
12:23 Last night.
12:24 No, that's May.
12:25 May in Milwaukee.
12:27 They're lit literally touring October 23rd uh in San Francisco.
12:33 Good for them.
12:34 I'm glad.
12:34 Pontiac, Michigan, May 28th, May 1st in New York City.
12:39 Well, we should look to see when you if any of your dates match up citywise.
12:45 I would love to have them on the podcast.
12:47 Would they come in full makeup?
12:48 Uh, well, I will not have them and not in makeup.
12:51 There's no reason to.
12:53 41K.
12:52 You either have Steam Power Giraffe or you don't.
12:55 You have David, Beth, and Darnell.
12:57 But that goes back to your clown thing.
13:01 No, it's I think clowns are different than makeup because I loved Kiss as a kid.
13:09 I loved Kiss and I did not and I do not like clowns.
13:12 I never associated Kiss as a clown.
13:14 I think when was the last time clowns were actually seen as like happy and fun.
13:17 I think so.
13:18 Someone told me the reason you have a fear
13:20 of clowns is because you can't trust them.
13:22 You know they're lying.
13:24 Yeah.
13:24 You know, they're like, "Hi." It's like magicians.
13:26 That was a phobia that was Do not get Leanne started on
13:30 magician magic.
13:30 Really?
13:32 Yeah.
13:31 Well, you know it's not real, right?
13:33 I do,
13:33 but I want to know how they do it.
13:35 You and Leanne.
13:36 And they can't.
13:37 And so, and they just I just need them to tell me.
13:40 Is it like an an[ __] out of me?
13:45 I I I'm at the intelligence level.
13:48 I just go I get it.
13:49 I believe
13:51 I'm at the perfect intelligence level.
13:53 I think I'm my brain is is the perfect brain for Hollywood
13:57 movies cuz I don't know who did it until the end.
14:00 Like I'm like on Six Sense I was like at the perfect
14:03 moment that they wanted you to figure out he died.
14:06 That's when I figured it out.
14:08 And then and then I'm dumb enough where some movies don't
14:10 make sense and then I really like we watched uh Donnie Darko.
14:13 Did I tell you this?
14:15 Oh,
14:15 we were we watched Donnie Darko me and the girls one Halloween.
14:17 We all sat up and watched Donnie Darko and I
14:20 said this is one of my favorite movies and I've
14:22 watched it maybe a hundred times and they're like really
14:25 and I was like you guys are going to love it.
14:27 And at the very end, Isla goes, "So,
14:28 what does that mean?" And I said, "Well, that's the beauty of it.
14:31 No one knows what that means.
14:32 The movie is up for interpretation.
14:35 You can't tell what the point of it is." And George goes,
14:37 "That's not it at all." And I went,
14:39 "What?" She goes, "It's time travel." And I went, "It's time travel." She goes,
14:43 "You didn't know this was a time travel movie?" I go,
14:45 "No." She goes, "Yeah, that's why he smiled.
14:48 He went back and he laid in his bed knowing
14:49 that he would fix everything by just dying." And I went,
14:54 "Wait, this is Are you serious?" And she goes, "Hold on.
14:58 You've seen this a hundred times and it's your favorite movie
15:00 and you didn't know what it was." And I was like,
15:03 "Donnie Darko's that time travel movie.
15:05 Shut the[ __] up." Do you remember that movie that was out?
15:07 I forget the name of it,
15:08 but it was the same where like the woman could speak alien.
15:13 Oh, Arrival.
15:14 Yeah.
15:14 Yeah.
15:14 And then at the end you're like that was a whole So the aliens come down,
15:20 they have to learn to communicate with her because they need water or something.
15:24 and the gift that they give her for giving
15:26 them this hu the huge resource that Earth has.
15:28 I believe I might be wrong.
15:30 They teach her how to like experience time, not in a linear way.
15:34 And so then she can just basically she has this superpower after.
15:37 Speaking of water, I'm trying to I'm trying to hit my macros in water.
15:41 Stacy, did you know it's 16 ounces every hour practically?
15:44 I did know that.
15:45 But you did you know that that is actually 19 ounces?
15:48 Uh if you hit your macros in water, it's for me it's 100 flu 150 fluid ounces.
15:53 How do you figure out?
15:54 And the only reason I'm doing it is because I got blood work back
15:57 and my thickness of my blood hasn't changed
15:59 a ton and I'm on crazy blood thinners.
16:03 Are you on creatine right now?
16:05 No.
16:05 No.
16:06 No.
16:09 Okay.
16:07 But but uh Oh, hold on.
16:09 Let's I I'm dying.
16:12 I'm dying to I'm dying to deep dive.
16:15 Wait, you're on blood thinners, but your blood hasn't thinned?
16:19 So, is that mean that you still have blood clots?
16:22 I don't know.
16:22 I actually I shouldn't be telling you this.
16:24 I I haven't talked to a doctor.
16:26 I just got my numbers.
16:28 I got my numbers back and I looked at it and it didn't look great.
16:33 But I was like but I noticed that I hadn't and and I
16:35 ran into a guy on the beach who said are you drinking water?
16:38 And I went not really.
16:40 I drink a lot of coffee.
16:41 And he was like that's the worst thing to drink.
16:43 Dehydrates you.
16:43 And he was like you got to be drinking water.
16:45 Water is actually does more than anything.
16:48 And so I in the last two days I've drank 150 fluid ounces.
16:53 First of all, you're gonna pee two times in the middle of the night.
16:57 Yeah.
16:56 No matter what, you're gonna just pee.
16:58 Uh you're you feel dizzy towards the end of the night
17:01 when you're trying to catch up on the water.
17:03 You And um and but here's why I say this, okay?
17:06 I got in the two bears that just came out or it's coming out.
17:09 I go after John Barrenthal, okay?
17:12 In a fun way.
17:13 I hope that everyone understands that what sometimes a comedic angle can be fun,
17:19 you know, like and and it's it's a foe angry, but he shits on nappers.
17:26 He's like, "Yo, if you nap, I won't[ __] with you.
17:28 I don't got time for a nap.
17:30 If you while you're napping, the world's going on.
17:33 I want to play this for you.
17:34 I just want John I want this.
17:36 Please do me a favor.
17:37 Clip this out.
17:38 Send this to John Barrenthal, the great actor and pretty solid dude,
17:43 friends with Joey Diaz and I would imagine would be a great
17:46 friend of mine if we didn't have this real problem in napping.
17:52 Federra claims to sleep around about 12 hours.
17:54 He does that with about 10 hours at night and about a 2-hour nap during the day.
17:58 Um Usain Bolt, the famous sprinter,
18:01 um he slept somewhere between 9 and a half to 10 hours a night.
18:05 I believe one of the world and he takes naps strategically during the day.
18:09 Um, one of the world records that he broke,
18:11 he'd only been awake for about 35 minutes beforehand after
18:14 sleeping and then came out and broke a world record.
18:17 Um, they all know the power of of sleep and they use it.
18:21 You know, the basketball player LeBron James sleeps uh 12
18:24 hours as well and we work with all of these athletes.
18:27 So, sleep is probably the greatest legal
18:29 performance-enhancing drug that few athletes are abusing enough.
18:32 Roger Federra claimed the wait the the basketball player LeBron James.
18:37 Thanks God you cleared that up for me.
18:40 Are are you nappers?
18:43 Yeah.
18:42 Uh I get anxiety about it.
18:44 I can't like settle down.
18:46 But I try to nap.
18:47 My brain just keeps going.
18:48 I cannot nap.
18:51 I I nap.
18:52 I know.
18:53 So[ __] hard.
18:54 I nap hard, too.
18:55 It's like in the middle of the day I just need to It's my fuel.
18:59 Like you think eating is your fuel,
19:00 but I need my nap and then I'll finish the day out really well.
19:04 How long do you nap?
19:06 Like 30 minutes to an hour.
19:09 Yeah, I can nap.
19:09 I can nap 4 hours.
19:10 But you know that when where were we in Florida?
19:12 And when Leanne and I shared a room because of your sleep divorce.
19:17 Yeah.
19:16 And she laid down to take a nap and she just does this.
19:20 I know.
19:20 And she sets a timer and she sets goes like this.
19:24 And then like five minutes later, literally five minutes.
19:27 And then she's like, "Okay."
19:30 Whoa.
19:30 It's crazy.
19:33 Vampire.
19:32 She And she can't nap in the dark.
19:34 She doesn't.
19:35 No.
19:35 It was like bright.
19:36 She likes all the lights on.
19:37 She doesn't want any She She doesn't like napping in a bed.
19:41 She loves to nap on a couch.
19:42 She like, if she gets in a bed, it depresses her.
19:45 I like to turn all the lights out, get in a bed, and pretend it's night time.
19:50 Go to sleep.
19:50 I[ __] love I did it yesterday.
19:53 We got back from the beach and I went into my room
19:55 and I took at 6:00 I took an hour nap.
19:59 Does it[ __] you up later?
20:01 Were you up?
20:01 I went to bed at 9:30.
20:04 I can't nap.
20:05 Baker hates it that I can't.
20:07 I dream in my naps.
20:08 I nap when I'm on the road.
20:10 Every day is the exact same.
20:12 Identical.
20:13 I wake up whenever I wake up.
20:14 Usually I sleep about 10 to 12 hours every night.
20:17 Every night I sleep 10 to 12 hours.
20:19 I wake up.
20:21 We go do an activity.
20:22 I get coffee.
20:23 We do an activity.
20:25 Uh we come back to the bus around.
20:27 Now, it's been changed because on my blood pressure,
20:30 I only say I'll caveat this.
20:32 I'm going to give you the old schedule, then the new schedule.
20:34 Um we What the[ __] on your on your laptop?
20:38 Oh my god.
20:38 On my keyboard skin.
20:40 Okay.
20:41 Okay.
20:41 Never mind.
20:42 So, I I go I I go uh we do an activity.
20:45 I have coffee.
20:45 We do an activity.
20:46 I come back around four o'clock.
20:48 I lay down for a nap and I sleep until like 5:30.
20:52 I wake up at 5:30.
20:54 I go to the gym.
20:54 I work out until 7.
20:56 I come into the bus at 7.
20:59 Old bus.
20:59 I take a shower in the bus from 7 to 7:30.
21:04 Uh first person's been on stage 15 minutes.
21:06 I get dressed.
21:06 I walk on stage.
21:08 And I did it the other day with Ruby uh Setnik
21:10 who came out in the road with me and she was like,
21:14 I've never felt better in my life because
21:16 a nap and a workout that late in the day,
21:19 it almost resets your entire you feel so[ __] good.
21:23 It's like a separate day.
21:24 Yeah.
21:24 And now I've had to stop working out so close to the show
21:27 because I'm having blood pressure issues with it being so low.
21:31 Like lately it's been like god 102 over 59 after a workout
21:37 and I and I get a little dizzy going on stage.
21:40 Yeah.
21:40 So I've been trying to work out earlier in the day
21:42 and then do my nap up into the show.
21:44 But man, I nap on the road.
21:46 I sleep easily 12 12 to 14 hours a day.
21:50 That what interests me about that is you famously have FOMO.
21:53 And I would I would imagine I get this way.
21:56 I'm like I don't want to sleep.
21:57 I want to I want to experience life.
22:00 And it's not like a I'm going to grind.
22:01 I I just want to be awake.
22:03 Yeah.
22:03 FOMO disappears in Cedar Rapids, Iowa.
22:07 You're like, "Wow, what should I do?" And you're like, "Nothing.
22:10 It's[ __] 10° outside." Yeah.
22:13 There's nothing to do.
22:14 I can go into the arena or I can go
22:16 to my bus and watch a documentary about tarpon fishing or cigar rolling.
22:21 I watched a documentary on cigar rolling.
22:22 I'm amazed at how massively boring the cigar industry is.
22:28 Maybe it needs a little something.
22:29 Well, you know, most cigar guys, first of all,
22:31 and I mean this like I've watched all like
22:34 so there's B I should open up this movie Handrolled,
22:39 but let me just get through the sleeping.
22:42 I think when you think of countries like Spain and Mexico who who literally
22:49 implement into their society like things shut down at 3:00,
22:55 the whole city shuts down and doesn't open until like 5:30.
22:59 And then you're like,
23:00 "What am I?" When you're American and you go there, you're like,
23:02 "What the fuck?" But when you do that for a while and you're like,
23:06 "Oh, it's time to take a nap." Heaven.
23:07 That's That's where FOMO disappears.
23:09 Where you're like, oh, the whole city shut down.
23:11 M no one's doing it's almost like it's like not to like be shitty but like
23:16 you'd think there'd be some Spanish billionaires that would
23:18 be like you know I just stop siesting
23:22 everyone goes to sleep and I just do a little
23:24 extra work and I get two hours extra work every day.
23:28 You know, it's like Marky Mark wakes up or Mark Wahberg wakes up at 4 a.m.
23:32 and there's got to be a Spanish movie star that goes
23:40 the rich in foreign countries are so different.
23:43 I feel like like the ultra wealthy
23:45 like there's this I I will agree 100% on London.
23:49 Like I have envied the the generational wealth in the UK my entire life.
23:57 My entire life I was looking to find I I was figured it wouldn't be hot.
24:01 She wouldn't be that hot cuz you like the hot
24:03 British chicks are always like lined up to a duke.
24:07 It's it's like always like adjacent families.
24:10 But like I was always like four weddings and a funeral
24:13 when they all go to the[ __] guy's country house.
24:15 I was like get me one of those experiences.
24:18 So, uh, let me explain something to you about generational wealth.
24:22 Okay?
24:23 So, wealth works this way.
24:26 There's the people that make it.
24:28 There's the second generation who follows in their father's steps.
24:32 And then there's the third generation who blows it.
24:35 That's how it works every time.
24:37 The Strose family is a perfect example of this.
24:40 Are you familiar with Stros?
24:41 No.
24:42 So, this is I I should pull up the documentary on YouTube.
24:46 It's so[ __] good.
24:48 But they I mean even if you see a picture of these I this is it brewery.
24:52 In 1985 the Stro Brewery demolished its own birthplace.
24:56 The family had just borrowed $500 million
24:59 to acquire a competitor and the combined company
25:02 had no room for the 135year-old Detroit facility
25:05 where Bernhard Stro had once sold beer doortodoor out of a wheelbarrow.
25:09 Ready?
25:10 From a wheelbarrow.
25:12 That's how much I've watched.
25:13 Wheelbarrow.
25:13 I've watched this over and over again because because the Strose family,
25:18 Bernard Stro, created a beer.
25:20 I think back, this is right around the time
25:22 when German brewing became popular because German brewing needed they
25:26 had done it done it in caves and refrigeration just
25:29 showed up and they learned how to make this beer.
25:31 But what the mistake this family made was what's[ __] fascinating
25:38 too is the brands they acquired cuz they were a local brewery.
25:43 Stros was and then they acquired a bunch of local breweries
25:46 that if you travel as much as I do, you recognize in Michigan
25:51 around the country like Reneer.
25:53 Have you heard of Reneer Brewer?
25:56 Yeah,
25:55 the cheap stuff.
25:56 Let's see.
25:58 Is this Schlitz?
25:59 Oh yeah, they changed their branding too.
26:02 Hold on.
26:03 Let me see if So Millerite came out.
26:05 So Millerite came out in the 80s here.
26:08 This is pretty interesting.
26:09 It's that new
26:11 Miller Lightite launched nationally in 1975 became the most popular
26:16 new product in the history of the American beer industry.
26:20 The tastes great less filling campaigner was later described as arguably one
26:25 of the greatest advertising campaigns of the past 30 to 40 years.
26:28 So now this is when what happened with beer companies is
26:34 they put more money into marketing than they did making the beer.
26:40 Oh yeah.
26:40 So like Budweiser shows up puts $350 million into marketing
26:45 and takes off and what all of these breweries
26:47 were like small local breweries in their places.
26:50 I think St.
26:50 Louis was Budweiser.
26:52 Uh Kors was Colorado.
26:54 By the way, get into the Kors
26:55 documentary if you're into Nazi th symp sympathizers.
27:01 Really?
27:00 The Coors The Kors is I, by the way,
27:03 I I kind of want to hang out with the Coors family.
27:05 They're[ __] They are old school American money,
27:09 but um but Stros I want and what Stros did is they decided to market,
27:15 but they just didn't.
27:17 Light beer would constitute% of the US beer market by 2002.
27:22 Oh, such great
27:23 and Bush spent an is the king of everything.
27:26 Guys, guys, hang on.
27:27 How much have I watched this documentary that I'm quoting this doc?
27:30 So, you don't need to watch it.
27:31 I can just tell you what I learned.
27:32 Yeah.
27:32 Okay.
27:32 Well, you act it out.
27:34 But I wanted to show you a picture of the Stro family that blew the cash.
27:38 What year was this?
27:39 The third generation.
27:40 Oh, it's got to be uh I think it's in the '9s.
27:44 And what they do is they sell a company.
27:46 There's 33 family members that had to split a hund00 million dollars.
27:52 And so you're talking about they had basically
27:54 used the Stros Brewing Company as a bank.
27:57 They were basically like uh just can I get more money?
28:00 Can I get more money?
28:01 Cuz none of them learned none of them learned
28:03 how to brew beer or to work in the company.
28:06 There were just too many of them.
28:07 And then no one ever there's so many examples of this.
28:10 And now the the hottest one.
28:14 If you want to talk about a badass[ __] company,
28:18 you guys are I could give you a hundred[ __] guesses and you're never
28:21 going to guess the company that Don't look at the thing that blew it.
28:28 That is the best company because of the guy that started it.
28:32 Is it blown?
28:34 Is it a Korean company?
28:35 It's still around and you[ __] love it.
28:39 American American company.
28:42 American uh I think I can't find the YouTube.
28:46 Uh oh, you hang on one second.
28:49 Oh, Campbell.
28:50 Campbell soup.
28:52 Really?
28:51 A scientist.
28:52 Back in the day, they were selling soup cans.
28:55 32 oz.
28:56 They were 32 oz, right?
29:00 Mhm.
28:59 And this was your soup.
29:00 Soups were very popular back in the day.
29:02 They were almost really
29:03 When did they When did they start?
29:05 I would say they still are popular.
29:06 Uh I 1800s.
29:08 Everything's 1800s.
29:09 Guilded area.
29:10 Gilded Age is like the most[ __] fascinating time to be around.
29:14 The guilded age is if you were white and not a billionaire, you[ __][ __] suck.
29:19 I don't know how you I don't know how.
29:21 So, as a matter of fact, I bought uh 50 silver coins from the guilded
29:26 age for luck and they burned in my bus.
29:30 So, but so anyway, Campbell Soup, the guy's a scientist.
29:34 He just goes, "Uh, these cans are pretty big.
29:38 What if we took the water out?
29:39 And they're like, "How the[ __] are you
29:40 going to do that?" And he was like, "Dehydration?
29:42 We dehydrate it a little bit.
29:43 We take the water out.
29:44 We just have a concentrate.
29:46 Sell the soup cans half the size.
29:48 Shipping's going to be better." And then they just tell them, "Add water." Like,
29:51 "How much?" And he goes, "A canful." And they're like,
29:54 "I could work."[ __] makes money.
29:56 So then he makes so much money.
29:57 He says, "Here's the deal.
29:59 I'm going to set up my company so that no one can[ __] with this company.
30:03 No one none of my heirs can sell it.
30:06 No one ever.
30:07 It's going to be ingrained in them.
30:10 And so this company is so[ __] interesting.
30:13 Different people selflessly, including a lesbian.
30:16 I don't know why I had to say that, but one
30:18 of them's a lesbian clearly as I watched the documentary three times.
30:22 Including a lesbian, they just continued to
30:27 drop whatever the[ __] they were doing and go, "Now I'm running Campbell Soup."
30:30 And like they had great lives.
30:32 One was a[ __] hunter in Colorado and he was hunting every day
30:35 and he had a farm and a ranch and that's what he wanted to be.
30:37 And they're like, "Just so you know,
30:38 we need you to[ __] come run Camp Soup." And he's like,
30:41 "All right, everything's over.
30:42 I'm a Campbell Soup guy." One of the dudes,
30:44 one of the most[ __] interesting ones is
30:46 like his I think his name's Larie or something.
30:49 But he he he runs the company for his his time.
30:52 Then he goes, "Yo, I don't want to I don't want to put my money into a trust.
30:56 I don't want to lose my money.
30:57 I want to be He denounces his citizenship.
31:00 moves to[ __] I think this is the same company.
31:03 I've watched a lot of companies.
31:04 He might have worked for Strokes, but but Campbell Soup is[ __] fascinating.
31:10 And they've got a trust where three family members run the majority of things.
31:14 And now their kids are running it and their kids like I will never look
31:18 at Campbell Soup the same way knowing
31:21 that this guy started this company was like no.
31:23 And but I think there's a tragic story here because because oh
31:28 this is the by the way what's his name the chairman
31:32 I love all these YouTube channel names Toad was dead but was not
31:37 three dissident families holding about 17% of the stock
31:42 filed papers with the securities and exchange commit.
31:45 Let's get to the lar.
31:49 Is this him?
31:51 Oh, this lesbian signaling.
31:53 That's the lesbian.
31:54 Was identical.
31:55 Only the scale had changed.
31:58 Chapter 10.
31:59 The horse woman.
32:00 Is that That's her.
32:02 Oh, yeah.
32:05 Valentine.
32:05 Jesus Christ.
32:06 Hold on.
32:06 Tell me this doesn't kind of look like her face.
32:09 Tell me.
32:11 Jesus.
32:10 Hang on one second.
32:12 One second.
32:12 I would be so mad if that was me.
32:15 She is
32:16 Wait, tell me that doesn't happen.
32:26 You got to do a side by side.
32:28 Wait, hold on.
32:29 How do I
32:30 do a screenshot?
32:32 I can't I can't make it happen FAST ENOUGH.
32:35 I THINK I[ __] UP MY OPEN TABS.
32:37 I can't How do I get out of here?
32:39 Does Gary Valentine and her look identical?
32:45 Where was Gary Valentine?
32:46 I lost
32:46 in another It was in another uh window.
32:51 window.
32:50 Gary Valentine look identical.
32:54 SO got to see it again.
33:01 I got to see it again.
33:02 Hold on.
33:03 Gary Valentine.
33:05 I need this to happen faster.
33:07 Can you do a
33:08 a screenshot?
33:09 Hold on.
33:10 Just look at this.
33:12 They have the same smile.
33:14 Wait, they have the exact same smile.
33:21 If you just zoomed into the smile.
33:23 Zoom into Gary.
33:24 I can't.
33:24 I'd say I'm I'm[ __] Anyway,
33:26 Campbell Soup Company is a pretty[ __] interesting company.
33:29 One of my favorite cigars is a brand called Padron.
33:33 Mhm.
33:34 And George Padron, I think, is my age.
33:36 He doesn't look my age.
33:37 You got to see him.
33:39 He texted me.
33:43 Um.
33:44 Jeez.
33:44 So cute.
33:47 Scared.
33:46 I just got to go to YouTube.
33:48 Everything is YouTube and Instagram for me.
33:52 Same.
33:52 Hey everyone, Anthony here.
33:53 And today,
33:54 by the way, Anthony is so much like me.
33:56 If me and Anthony did a podcast about cigars,
34:00 we'd be fighting for airtime.
34:02 He's a He's a talker, which I love.
34:04 But I love because he's filled with information.
34:06 But look at Jorge Padron.
34:08 Look at that cigar.
34:11 Do you think we're the same age?
34:12 Him and you?
34:14 Yeah.
34:15 Tell
34:16 George, welcome back
34:17 in a suit.
34:17 People always look old.
34:18 Thanks, M.
34:18 It's nice to be here back at older than you.
34:20 He looks like it was pleasure.
34:24 Sorry.
34:24 So, you know, you and I go back.
34:25 He's my age.
34:26 We graduated Florida State at the same time.
34:28 Really?
34:28 No[ __] Yeah.
34:28 I was just texting him with the other day.
34:30 What George Padron did is he took his dad was pretty much a small company.
34:35 It was a local company in Miami and he grew it and he grew it at a crazy rate.
34:40 And now Padron is one of the biggest cigars.
34:42 By the way, there's like four.
34:43 This is what all I could and I'm
34:45 having a really hard time doing research on cigars.
34:48 On the next fully uh fully fully open tabs on the next open tabs,
34:52 I will have a full cigar breakdown and we'll all smoke cigars.
34:56 Um I've never
34:57 You've never smoked a cigar?
34:58 I've never smoked a cigar.
34:59 But we will we will do a full breakdown of the cigar families.
35:02 Apparently they're four apparently.
35:04 And I'm by the way I understand what I'm about to say.
35:07 It's run like a mafia, right?
35:09 You can't get in.
35:10 You can't get out.
35:12 It's once big cigar big cigar is crazy.
35:16 There's only five fields in Nicaragua that you can or five
35:19 cities in Nicaragua that you can grow tobacco leaves in.
35:23 So basically and they own those territories.
35:27 And then I mean obviously you can get
35:28 Honduran leaves and but like right now from what
35:30 I'm learning the Nicaraguan leaf and and this is I know I'm I I know I
35:35 don't know what people think about me online
35:37 or you watch my standup or whatever but this is
35:40 my favorite thing to do is deep dive a subject and they get really into it.
35:43 And by the way I'm my my facts are always off but Jorge Padron's my age.
35:47 He goes graduates Florida State gets his MBA.
35:50 Him and his dad split it.
35:52 His I keep saying Jorge because that's how it's spelled.
35:54 George Bone his reaches out to his dad.
35:56 By the way, you're talking about his dad, I think,
35:58 was like a a Cuban immigrant who worked
36:00 his whole life and just got big in Miami.
36:02 Was not like a billionaire and was like, "Dad,
36:04 I'll pay for half my NBA if you pay for half my NBA." And he did it.
36:08 He got his NBA in a year and a half.
36:09 Then came back down to Miami and was like, "I have big ideas about this company.
36:12 I want to restructure this company.
36:13 I want to I want to grow this company." And his dad was like,
36:16 "You're the you're the college kid.
36:18 Do what you do." And he[ __] blew this company up.
36:21 I mean, Pedrone is my favorite cigar,
36:23 but I've known about Padone for a long time.
36:24 mostly cuz I'm from Florida.
36:26 That's the other crazy part is all these families I know the dudes families.
36:31 I know uh like uh like Carito is from Tampa.
36:35 He lived from Eore that all they all lived in Eore City.
36:38 Tampa had the connect through you know what we're going to do
36:42 a cigar uh open tabs where we'll learn about open tabs.
36:48 Nobody knows how old he is.
36:50 We're hyped.
36:50 Wait, he's described implying his birth year was 1968.
36:57 Yeah.
36:58 All right, let's go to the very beginning.
36:59 Okay,
37:00 now we got about sleep.
37:01 We're going to flow fly through this.
37:03 I don't know what is what's is the right time for a facelift, guys.
37:07 I meant to send this to Leanne.
37:09 I didn't mean to send this to the group.
37:12 I'm kidding.
37:13 Two friends now at 50 and 51 that have all done it.
37:16 And I have to tell you, they look[ __] amazing.
37:18 I'm not going to lie to you.
37:19 And I like keep going like this.
37:20 What really do you think is the right age?
37:22 Because I feel like you wait too long, you're lifting an entire face up.
37:25 I agree.
37:25 Truly, Terry, what is the good age?
37:27 This is the answer to this question.
37:29 If you look in the mirror and you take you
37:32 your thumb below in the neck and you take your middle
37:35 finger above on both sides and you pull it back
37:39 and you look in the mirror and then you let it go
37:42 and it looks significantly better.
37:45 Okay, hold on.
37:46 Hold on.
37:47 Oh, hold on.
37:47 Hang on.
37:48 You okay?
37:49 You go, Sandra.
37:52 No.
37:52 Fine.
37:52 Perfect.
37:52 It didn't even move.
37:55 Sandra.
37:55 Sandra.
37:56 Hang on.
37:56 Get a C.
37:56 Do you have a camera on Sandra?
37:58 Do it again.
37:59 Do it again.
38:03 It doesn't move.
38:04 No movement.
38:04 Doesn't move at all.
38:05 Let me see.
38:05 Stace.
38:06 Hang on.
38:08 Like here and here.
38:09 Yeah.
38:10 Whoa.
38:12 No.
38:12 Don't smile.
38:12 You got Look sad.
38:15 Look.
38:16 Look into the camera.
38:17 Oh, this one then.
38:18 And Bert can't see me.
38:22 It's not that.
38:22 You're not ready.
38:23 You're not ready.
38:23 It's not that bad.
38:24 It's not that bad.
38:26 Mm-
38:26 What is it?
38:26 Under here?
38:28 Mhm.
38:28 Now you're making your eyes look Oh, don't do eyes.
38:30 No.
38:30 No.
38:30 No.
38:31 No.
38:31 It's like this.
38:32 Wait, how do I go like up here?
38:34 Like you're like lifting your cheeks almost.
38:37 Like that.
38:38 You don't need it either.
38:39 No, you're not.
38:40 Okay.
38:40 Okay.
38:41 You ready?
38:42 You ready?
38:45 You don't need one.
38:45 No, you don't need one.
38:46 No, you don't need one at all.
38:47 Yeah, I know.
38:49 this guy, his his wife is a real housewife, right?
38:52 I don't know.
38:53 I think here's my problem with with plastic surgery.
38:57 I've So, I'm struggling right now with my hair
39:01 loss in that I think the blood thinners or whatever.
39:04 I feel I feel or maybe it's because I've lost weight and now I'm not looking
39:08 at my fat body and being sad and I'm looking for something to be sad about.
39:12 And I feel like my hair loss has accelerated.
39:15 And I I was like, am I going to be the guy that gets uh transplants?
39:21 And but the problem with hair transplants is, and I'm I'm not saying names,
39:25 but I know a few dudes that have hair transplants.
39:28 And unless their hair is done, it looks weird.
39:32 You mean weird?
39:33 Like unless like someone does their hair for and then like first a stylist like
39:38 Oh, I thought like their hair is like[ __] No, no, no.
39:41 like unless they've gone through hair and makeup
39:42 and it's and very few of them like Steve Burn's
39:46 the only guy that I know that has had hair
39:47 transplants where it looks where I'm like I'm like
39:51 that was a[ __] great call Joel Male's look[ __] amazing.
39:55 Okay, Joel Male too Joel Male Steve Burn there's some good ones.
39:58 So, I don't want to name the bad ones,
40:00 but like also it's like I don't want to be the guy that gets
40:03 hair transplants and then also keeps losing his hair and has to get more hair
40:07 transplants and more hair transplants and more
40:09 hair transplants and all of a sudden I
40:10 don't have hair behind my head and I've got to grow like a long mullet.
40:13 Well, what did your mom's dad What was his hair?
40:18 Cuz that's where you get it from, right?
40:19 Let's Google him.
40:21 That's where you get it from.
40:22 I wonder if there's a picture of my maternal heard your maternal grand account.
40:26 I can't I can't confirm if it's right or not, but I've heard that, too.
40:29 No, it is.
40:30 That is it.
40:30 Your maternal grandfather.
40:34 Maternal
40:34 maternal grandfather.
40:35 So, your mom's dad.
40:37 Abraham Abraham Hobson.
40:39 That's my Oh, yeah.
40:40 That's
40:40 Is that That's your balding pattern.
40:42 That's my That's my grandfather.
40:43 Dr.
40:43 Abraham Hobson, known friendly known to friends as the flying dentist,
40:47 died Friday in Binmar Hospital.
40:49 He was 53.
40:52 Whoa.
40:52 Whoa.
40:52 53.
40:53 Did you outlive?
40:55 Not yet.
40:56 Not yet.
40:57 November 30th.
40:58 The Carters.
40:59 Six more months.
41:01 An oral surgeon.
41:03 And Wow.
41:05 Why was he the flying dentist?
41:08 He flew helicopters.
41:10 Oh no.
41:11 He founded the Go patrol.
41:13 So that was really big in Tampa is
41:15 the helicopters that would tell you about traffic.
41:18 Oh yeah.
41:18 He created that.
41:20 Holy[ __] A traffic reporting service supplying information.
41:23 So, basically, I'm I'm paraphrasing it.
41:26 And by the way, remember,
41:27 I don't know as good about my family as I do the Campbell right now,
41:33 right?
41:32 Um, but I think my dad, my grandfather would fly himself to work in a helicopter
41:38 or fly my mom or to school in a helicopter.
41:41 Yeah, I remember Gigi saying that.
41:42 Yeah.
41:42 And then and then he would call in to the radio station and go,
41:47 "Hey, there's when he landed, he was like,
41:48 "There's traffic on this by the Skook." And then they go,
41:51 "Hey guys, don't take the skook.
41:53 Dr.
41:53 Hobson just saw traffic by the skook." And so then isn't that crazy?
41:58 Yeah.
41:58 Tell me that's not Bur Chrysler energy right there.
42:00 Yeah, that is
42:01 like But except I would have been like,
42:02 "Hey everybody, it's the Flying World Sergeant.
42:06 Hi, this is Steam Power Giraffe." Uh the he
42:11 also the treasure of the Continental Thorbird Racing Association.
42:17 Great.
42:16 Um he went to Temple.
42:18 He had one daughter and eight sons.
42:21 Yeah.
42:22 Yeah.
42:21 He survived by his wife, Helen, who is going to live another[ __] 50 years.
42:29 That's crazy.
42:30 She lived another 50 years.
42:31 Another life without him.
42:33 And by the way, 53 is young.
42:35 How'd he die?
42:39 Stroke.
42:39 Yeah.
42:40 Isn't that crazy?
42:41 Yeah.
42:41 But look at that hairline.
42:42 Look at that.
42:43 That's a cool picture.
42:44 Can I tell you the craziest thing?
42:47 I've worn those glasses.
42:48 My mom saved them.
42:50 Oh, really?
42:50 I was going to say you have glasses that look just like
42:52 No, my mom saved his glasses
42:54 and I I now that I look at those glasses, I was like when I was a kid,
42:58 I'd find them in her thing and I'd put them on from time to time.
43:01 They were his glasses.
43:02 He was blind.
43:04 Um, so that's my grandfather.
43:05 I don't know how we got on to this.
43:07 Your your cousin male pattern bald.
43:09 All right, let's get All right.
43:10 Oh, I'm going to be bald.
43:11 Is that what we all wanted?
43:12 Facelift.
43:13 Yeah.
43:13 Yeah.
43:13 Yeah.
43:13 Facelift.
43:14 Let's get Okay.
43:14 Let's Let's Let's cruise.
43:16 Uh, this is just something wine.
43:19 Oh, this is something I think I could totally get into.
43:23 Miniatures.
43:23 Is it miniatures?
43:25 Yeah.
43:24 I made a 112 scale model of the wine
43:26 celler in the basement where John Benny Ramsay's body was
43:30 Oh,
43:32 no.
43:32 That's amazing.
43:34 Wait, I am really into this.
43:36 Is this miniature crime scenes?
43:38 Is it miniature crime scenes?
43:40 I forgot why I liked it.
43:42 I forgot why I liked it until right now.
43:45 I feel like Drew Barrymore in the first 50 dates.
43:47 I was like, "Oh, that's right.
43:48 I do love you." Oh,[ __] It's a miniature crime scene.
43:51 I am.
43:52 I need to follow.
43:53 That's amazing.
43:54 Oh, this is the basement where John Benet Ramsay was murdered.
43:59 Have you been to that house, Stace?
44:01 No.
44:01 It's in uh or hand painted.
44:05 Yeah.
44:05 I 3D printed the paint cans and light switch.
44:08 And I wanted everything
44:10 to look worn murder manager weathered like
44:12 it does in crime scene photos and videos.
44:14 Oh man.
44:15 So, I spent a lot of time painting
44:17 and distressing everything so it looks like the parents.
44:20 What do you
44:22 No, I expected her hands to be fatter.
44:26 Like just being real.
44:28 And I And I don't see a wedding ring.
44:30 A long time.
44:31 Oh no.
44:32 There's definitely not a wedding ring.
44:33 Log grabber.
44:34 At what point is this offense?
44:36 Like what's the what's the worst crime you think you could recreate?
44:39 Blanket and some gifts.
44:41 That's not a great one.
44:42 This one's pretty bad.
44:43 Yeah.
44:43 I mean, this is something weird.
44:45 I remember
44:45 Oh my god.
44:46 Is she going to put like a Christmas present?
44:48 The toys.
44:49 30 years later, her death is officially unsolved.
44:52 I mean, this is you.
44:54 You can't sh You're not supposed to share that with people.
44:58 No.
44:58 If that's the thing you're into, you're like,
44:59 that's like going, "Hey, you see what I jerk off to?"
45:01 And you're like, "What?" You're like,
45:03 like it's like he put she puts her foot in her puss.
45:05 But does she do more of that?
45:06 Is that her thing?
45:07 Is that her handle?
45:08 Does all those things
45:09 crime scenes?
45:10 I got to go.
45:10 I got to see.
45:11 Look at these guys.
45:12 They must be such big rappers.
45:14 They took a private jet from the Uganda to the UK out the window.
45:21 No, wait, wait.
45:21 I'm so sorry.
45:22 They have the one private jet that is silent and inside.
45:26 Yeah.
45:26 Look at the picture outside the window.
45:30 Look what the
45:32 Wait, it's the sunset in one.
45:36 Yeah.
45:36 And blue sky in the other.
45:38 They are heading east, guys.
45:39 They're heading east.
45:41 Tell them something.
45:43 This is classic business.
45:45 First class.
45:46 They tell me, "How much do you hate your car?" Cuz I move with dollar every day.
45:53 Don't this me,[ __] We are outside Miami, Florida.
45:56 Yeah.
45:57 Coming.
45:57 Coming.
45:59 Andrew Tate's reach is global.
46:01 I By the way, I You're never going to get me to[ __] on the manosphere.
46:05 I dig it.
46:06 I dig it.
46:06 Can I tell you can I tell you who needs the manosphere?
46:09 Can I tell you what the manosphere is?
46:10 And by the way, have you anyone watched Louis Throw's documentary?
46:13 And I and I understand and just to just to uh
46:17 out of respect to my bros because let me tell you something.
46:20 If I see Andrew Tate and his brother, I dap him up.
46:23 I do.
46:23 I don't give a[ __] I don't give a[ __] The fact
46:26 that the fact that what what they did is still fascinating.
46:31 Like look, I can understand getting in the macro
46:33 of like uh it's annoying or you know,
46:35 it's like it's not representative of whatever, you know, blah blah blah.
46:39 It's not woke or it's not a female,
46:40 but that the fact that they or you know that they
46:44 got that they are a conversation piece is so[ __] fast.
46:49 By the way, that's all anyone I'm showing you in these videos once.
46:52 That's all they want.
46:54 That's all they want is to be
46:56 talked about
46:56 as great as Andrew Tate.
46:58 They don't know that.
46:59 They don't think that.
47:00 They think they're better.
47:01 They have no idea that Andrew Tate is their north star.
47:05 And and and by the way,
47:09 Jake Paul's mind like it it's but if you're being honest with yourself.
47:13 Do you know I mean do you consider yourself manosphere adjacent?
47:18 Yeah.
47:18 Yeah.
47:18 For sure.
47:19 100%.
47:19 Yeah.
47:19 I I have no problem with the manosphere.
47:21 Now listen,
47:22 but you're not in the manosphere.
47:23 No, I'm not in the manosphere.
47:25 But manosphere adjacent.
47:26 I'm I'm Roenphere.
47:27 What is it?
47:28 Rogan.
47:28 Roenphere.
47:29 Is that what Rogan?
47:30 I don't think I don't think people would call me in the Roenosphere.
47:32 Although
47:34 I think Rogan is Rogan in the Manosphere.
47:36 No, I think I think people consider him.
47:41 Manosphere is not just like the T brothers, too.
47:43 I will say this.
47:44 No, no, that's what I'm saying.
47:45 It's like Jordan Peterson and but and then and then
47:48 Well, let's just say let's just say Joe Joe runs an Italian restaurant
47:54 and the manosphere makes pizzas.
47:59 They're right.
48:00 Hang on.
48:00 So, what Manosphere saw was what Joe And by the way,
48:04 I'm not I'm just giving you my perspective.
48:08 Now, I don't want to slight anyone because I know they get
48:11 really upset and then you get on their live stream and then they[
48:14 __] punch you by the big thing they do on the manosphere
48:17 is they pretend that they they text a guy like gay[ __] like,
48:20 "Yo, dude, you're hot.
48:21 You want to meet up?" And he goes,
48:22 "Yeah." And then they pretend he's a pedophile and they beat him up.
48:25 Oh, yeah.
48:26 That's a big thing.
48:26 It's a big thing.
48:28 Well, because you cuz cuz the truth is the truth, right?
48:30 The truth is whatever you see.
48:32 Like I have these stickers.
48:34 This is a fascinating study in in the way the world is today.
48:39 There are these stickers I have from Toy Machine.
48:42 Toy Machine is a I'm going to go right here.
48:45 Uh Toy Machine.
48:47 What's Toy Machine?
48:48 It's a It's a skateboard company.
48:50 Oh, okay.
48:53 And I bought these stickers cuz I found them interesting.
48:57 Okay.
48:56 I've seen that.
48:57 Yeah.
48:59 Mhm.
48:58 Hold on.
48:58 This is the sticker I bought.
49:01 And one of George's friends saw that and was like, "What the[ __] is that?"
49:06 Mhm.
49:05 And I said, "Oh, it's a sticker." She goes,
49:07 "Why the[ __] would you have that?" I said, "Well,
49:09 it's a it's a clan member on a burning cross with a broken Nazis." And they go,
49:15 "Yeah, it's racist." And I went, "No, it's it's actually not.
49:19 It's a clan member burning on a crossing." He's wearing a red tie.
49:23 Yeah.
49:23 Oh, is it?
49:24 That's Trump.
49:25 Oh, maybe he is.
49:26 I didn't I didn't I wouldn't have bought it if
49:27 I had seen the red tie, but but I said, don't you think maybe
49:31 it's probably Yeah, I mean it's a choice to have the tie.
49:32 It's like
49:33 anyway, Toy Machine,
49:35 so we know uh Whitney's husband was sponsored by Toy Machine.
49:39 Toy Machine makes a great sticker of two fists that say Toy Machine.
49:42 I always cut off the one and just put machine and I put it everywhere.
49:46 And so I bought the sticker and they go I go, "No, it's actually not racist.
49:49 It's the opposite of racist." And she goes, "Doesn't matter to me.
49:52 Looks racist." And I went, "So they hold on.
49:55 Just cuz you didn't just cuz you didn't understand what it
49:57 is doesn't make that the truth." Like I was like, "Hold on.
50:01 You're you're 22 years old.
50:02 You saw something you didn't like.
50:04 It bo but that is the internet.
50:06 I doesn't need to be true.
50:08 It just needs to bother me enough."
50:11 Yeah.
50:11 Like I don't care.
50:11 Pedophile.
50:13 But Trump's Epste was on the list.
50:16 Doesn't matter.
50:17 Do you see that Buffy had to defend himself being on the Epste?
50:22 Yeah.
50:23 Right.
50:23 cuz he was in a spam mail or whatever.
50:24 I was in a spam mail.
50:26 I was in a spam mail.
50:28 Yeah, it was for an ad that was like a blast of her.
50:33 Well, Whitney he tried to get tickets to and he really liked Whitney.
50:36 He was a big fan of Whitney.
50:38 Really like Whitney
50:39 which I which may say that Whitney Whitney looks
50:42 Does she Does she know?
50:43 Does she know?
50:44 Oh, 100% she knows.
50:45 Yeah.
50:46 But but just cuz you are wrong and saw
50:49 something that offended you doesn't mean it's right.
50:52 Like that's the interesting thing about what fate that's
50:56 evocative on purpose.
50:57 You're gonna see a clansman in a in a swastika and you're like,
51:00 "Oh, that's bad." And then you look deeper and you're like, "Oh, it's actually
51:03 it's woke.
51:03 It's woke, too.
51:04 It's cool." But but what's interesting is, you know,
51:06 when it comes to the manosphere is they it
51:08 doesn't the guy doesn't need to be a pedophile.
51:10 He just you the internet needs to think he's a pedophile.
51:13 They need to beat him up and then they go, "Good,
51:15 we got one." Does you know, it does it make you feel better?
51:18 It goes back to this conversation I had with Tom a long time ago.
51:21 He said, "How did you ever see Nirvana play?" And I said, "I think so.
51:24 Doesn't matter." And he said, "What do you mean?" I said, "It doesn't matter.
51:26 I I have the memory.
51:27 What do I want?
51:28 If I if I find out I didn't, then I lose the actual memory.
51:30 But right now, I have the memory." And he goes, "Yeah,
51:32 but that's the way a lunatic thinks." Well, that's the way the internet works,
51:36 you know.
51:36 All right.
51:37 Let's see what else we can learn.
51:38 Jean Bernay's crime scene.
51:40 Uh, these are two what I thought were
51:43 gay guys who are looking to start a channel.
51:45 Look at those chest.
51:48 The bell.
51:48 For the full video, go to the bellife.com.
51:50 What is What is uh what are the numbers here?
51:53 They're just doing jackass stuff.
51:57 But I watched all their videos.
52:00 I don't think they're gay.
52:00 I think one of them is married.
52:02 Splash the jackasses.
52:04 All right, let's get Which one works better?
52:06 But it's like this is the thing to me.
52:09 You're doing the hamstrings.
52:12 Oh, why don't you just do the love handles?
52:14 Is that a good angle?
52:15 Do the love handles.
52:16 Is that a good angle?
52:17 Yeah, that's a good angle.
52:18 Are we doing duct tape versus one first?
52:20 Okay.
52:20 Ready?
52:26 That's Sonic Mang.
52:31 All right, hold on.
52:31 I don't I I want to I don't know what the[ __] this is.
52:35 Crush shower review.
52:38 Oh my god.
52:38 Does this guy review
52:41 the
52:40 fast food inside of a shower?
52:42 Crunch taco from Taco Bell.
52:46 I'm going to try to get a baseline for all my later foods.
52:50 Bless you.
52:51 And then do some of the grosser things like the Arby's meat mountain.
52:56 Look at his eyes.
52:57 Need sleep.
52:58 I don't think I think he has inflammation problems.
53:00 Oh my god, he's got two black eyes.
53:02 Yeah, I think that's um a marker for some sort of uh It's got to be.
53:08 Yeah, that a marker that you should not be eating a cheesy gord.
53:10 I do.
53:11 I got But can I just celebrate him for a second?
53:13 kind of thing.
53:14 What's great is he's definitely got a different take on mukbang.
53:18 Yeah.
53:17 In the shower.
53:18 Yeah.
53:18 Yeah.
53:18 Yeah.
53:19 In a shower, by the way.
53:20 It's I think it's a public shower.
53:22 I I got I I like it.
53:24 I I don't hate it.
53:25 Oh, this[ __] kid.
53:26 I'm going to We're going to deal with him later.
53:29 I love him.
53:30 He's so talented.
53:31 Oh, I've seen him.
53:32 And he's Oh, yeah.
53:37 Look at the guy in the background.
53:39 That's all I can.
53:40 This is I I want him to hear this is how all dreams start.
53:44 And sometimes I think people see this and they go he'll never make it.
53:47 He's doing county fairs.
53:49 All dreams start like that.
53:50 Justin Timberlake started like that.
53:52 Like all dreams start like this.
53:53 I don't remember who this is.
53:54 This guy rocks.
53:59 He reminds me of Reed.
54:00 They make a ton of music.
54:02 these two.
54:12 Okay, let's get out of here.
54:13 What is this?
54:14 When you finally let the drummer count Oh, can I count this song out real quick?
54:17 Oh, I So, I've been I've been in an empty
54:20 place for music in that the m the music
54:23 that I loved growing up is no longer around like
54:25 punk and and and rock like it's no longer around.
54:28 It's just country and I've been living
54:30 in country and hip-hop's gone in my opinion.
54:33 I think hip-hop's gone and and I can't find anything I love.
54:36 That's how I'm landing on Steam Power Giraffe.
54:38 And and then this band, I saw this and I just thought this is kids being kids.
54:43 This is the energy of rock and roll.
54:47 Can I COUNT THIS SONG UP REAL QUICK?
54:52 Give me three times.
55:03 Oh my god.
55:12 There was a video I saw of a drummer today.
55:14 Did anyone see that?
55:17 Hold on.
55:17 Let's see if I can find this.
55:19 How do I search in this?
55:20 Uh, yeah.
55:24 Drum Austria.
55:25 God, he was so good.
55:27 Anyway, let's get through this.
55:28 I'll find that.
55:29 I'll play it again soon.
55:31 All right.
55:31 What do we Okay.
55:32 I love This is, you know, you know, I'm a have a big thing for H.B.C.U.
55:36 cheerleaders.
55:37 This is, first of all, I think this is FAMU.
55:40 Um, and I went to school in Tallah in Tallahassee.
55:43 Famu is in Tallahassee.
55:44 This is, if I'm not mistaken, she this is for her sorority.
55:49 She happens to be the drum the head of the drum
55:52 um head of the band the marching chief drum drum it says here I don't know
55:58 drum major and a delta woman now so this is but this is this energy
56:04 of sincerity with art and like a[ __] throwback to tradition I love All right
56:17 I love That boom boom.
56:34 By the way, there's a better one where she holds a move.
56:37 Blueprint media has to have it.
56:39 There's a better Look at this.
56:40 I love all this[ __] This is This is the better one.
56:44 Okay.
56:46 Okay.
56:46 Watch this.
56:47 This is her.
56:50 This is Get rid of this[ __] thing.
56:52 Watch this.
56:52 There we go.
56:53 Okay.
56:55 Look at the I love Can I tell you what black people are the best at?
56:58 Celebrating.
56:59 Uhhuh.
56:59 Oh yeah.
57:00 Oh yeah.
57:01 This would not be the same.
57:03 Is this like a coronation or something with her?
57:05 I think this is where they announced that she's a She's in the world.
57:15 No difference.
57:16 THAT'S NOT THE WORLD.
57:18 Watch this.
57:20 Okay.
57:21 By the way, stand on one leg.
57:23 Look what she's about to do.
57:26 Yeah.
57:26 Is that the Illuminati?
57:29 No.
57:31 Oh[ __] WHEN I MARCH ON THE FIELD OF EYES ON ME,
57:41 THE WHOLE WORLD ROARING about my place in history.
57:48 RUNWAY TO THE STAGE GUARANTEED.
57:55 I love this.
57:58 YOU GOT TO BE WITH I'M REPPING BS.
58:04 It's a cool outfit, too.
58:06 It's a[ __] sexy outfit.
58:07 It looks like a It's got a revolutionary vibe to it.
58:10 Oh, totally.
58:11 I love it.
58:12 All right, let's get out of there.
58:13 Let me see.
58:14 We got We're going to leave.
58:15 Oh, well, you watch that one.
58:17 This, by the way, Tim Hideker doing Bill Maher.
58:21 See what's going on in Portland with the people up there.
58:24 And uh the it's it's almost the opposite of liberalism,
58:28 which is now an orthodoxy that says what you can and can't say.
58:33 And what Portlandia did was it took direct
58:36 fire at that blew them out of the water.
58:40 It's been a while since we've done the show.
58:43 So, but the show's I mean, not that long ago.
58:45 I mean, it couldn't have been more than four years ago.
58:49 Uh yeah, maybe five years ago or something.
58:51 But we weren't taking aim at anything in Fred in television time.
58:56 That's yesterday.
58:58 Well, we weren't taking dance around it because
59:02 we weren't but we weren't trying to attack anything.
59:04 We were just having a good time and and we were talking more about ourselves.
59:10 Yeah.
59:09 Come on, man.
59:10 You don't listen.
59:11 I I don't want to me.
59:13 Don't[ __] me.
59:15 You and whoever you're doing it.
59:16 Who are you doing it with?
59:17 Carrie Brownstein.
59:18 You and her.
59:19 And I'm I raise a drink.
59:20 If you drank it, I'd raise a drink
59:22 and toast because what you did was you took aim
59:26 and fired at a mentality and a philosophy that's
59:29 that I think is biggest threat to our country that
59:33 No, we didn't take aim at anything since the Civil War.
59:35 They're just silly sketches like they were just like the way that we
59:38 Can I tell you what bums me out?
59:39 I watch that and then I go I know Bill Maher doesn't enjoy it.
59:44 Oh, have you seen this?
59:45 This one's funny.
59:46 And I but I watch it and I go, "Oh, I because I like Tim Hidecker." Yeah.
59:50 And I go I go, "Oh, I'm I'm bummed that Bob
59:54 probably bothers Bill because it is it is kind of funny,
59:57 but it's also f it's, you know, like I I get Are you friends with Bill at all?"
1:00:03 Yeah.
1:00:04 Okay.
1:00:03 It's going to be weird seeing two people kind of mock each other.
1:00:07 Yeah.
1:00:07 Yeah.
1:00:07 A little bit.
1:00:08 Tim's done it to everyone, Tony and Joe.
1:00:10 And every time I see it, it's it's usually good,
1:00:12 but it's like I also I don't because I don't like confrontation.
1:00:15 I get bummed.
1:00:16 guy go a like I know that they're not happy.
1:00:19 Like it's like when they did made fun of Sebastian on SNL.
1:00:22 I think I texted Sebastian like are you okay?
1:00:25 But it was but no one gives a[ __] I'm the only one that's too sensitive.
1:00:29 All right.
1:00:29 This is the perfect looping and we'll end on this.
1:00:31 This is the perfect video.
1:00:32 I'm going to try to make this video in my own way.
1:00:35 I'm going to try to make this this is this is why you get online.
1:00:39 This is the inspiration to I hope tonight at your party you go.
1:00:44 Can I tell you about the stro?
1:00:45 That's the reason you do stuff on the internet is to teach,
1:00:48 learn, and have fun and giggle.
1:00:50 Here we go.
1:01:11 Do it.
1:01:12 Uno.
1:01:35 It's really good.
1:01:36 It's so good.
1:01:37 That's really good.
1:01:39 So, what I'm going to do is I'm going
1:01:41 to recreate this exact video to learn to learn.
1:01:47 Yeah.
1:01:46 And then I'll make my own.
1:01:50 Yeah.
1:01:49 We could easily Yeah.
1:01:56 I'm going to recreate this with permission to party in there instead of three
1:02:01 only in Italian.
1:02:04 Well, I've seen this.
1:02:08 This is I got to I got to stop.
1:02:10 This is This is why I[ __] now I'm like, who?
1:02:13 Wait, who's this?
1:02:14 All right, guys.
1:02:14 I hope you enjoyed that.
1:02:15 I hope there's something clippable in there.
1:02:17 Uh I hope you guys learned something.
1:02:18 And like I said, we'll do more open tabs, uh,
1:02:20 where I just close the tabs that I've opened throughout the weekend.
1:02:24 Uh, thank you to my crew for doing this.
1:02:27 Uh, if ever this gets monetized, I'll just give you guys the money.
1:02:30 Just kidding.