3 Secrets From Psychology That Make People Respect You

0:00 Leaders anticipate, losers react.

0:05 [music]

0:05 What is the number one factor between success and failure for most people?

0:10 I would suggest to you is their energy.

0:13 Low energy equals low results.

0:15 I don't care who it is.

0:17 High energy, you will keep pushing through till you find the result.

0:21 There's three skills to master if you want to do well in any market,

0:26 if you want to change your financial world,

0:28 if you want to change your relationship.

0:30 First fundamental to master to master your life is

0:33 you have to become very good at recognizing patterns.

0:38 [music] If you recognize patterns, you will not be fearful anymore.

0:42 When you know what patterns are, your fear disappears.

0:44 Things become predictable.

0:46 What gives you the advantage in life?

0:48 What's the biggest advantage?

0:49 Anticipation.

0:51 Anticipation is the ultimate power.

0:54 If you can anticipate where things are going,

0:56 if you can anticipate what's happening in the market,

0:58 if you can anticipate what's going on in your relationship,

1:01 you're going to do really well.

1:05 How many of you have ever played a video game against a child?

1:09 Why are they so superior to you in these games?

1:11 Is it because they're younger, smarter, faster?

1:15 No.

1:17 It's because they played this game before.

1:19 Anticipation is power.

1:21 See, they go and you're reacting.

1:23 They know the first bad guy's on the left cuz they played it so many times.

1:26 Next bad guy's here, next bad guy's here.

1:27 They know.

1:29 So, there's no fear.

1:30 And there's no reaction.

1:32 And they anticipate.

1:35 Your greatest gift to yourself would become brilliant at recognizing

1:39 patterns cuz anyone you know that is masterful at something,

1:42 who's extraordinary, it's cuz they just see patterns you don't see.

1:45 You see it as chaos.

1:47 They see this as, "Oh, I recognize this pattern." Everything is patterns.

1:51 And the biggest patterns are you emotionally.

1:54 There's patterns of what we focus on, patterns of what we feel,

1:57 patterns of what we do.

1:58 If somebody is really, let's say, overeating, there's a pattern to it.

2:02 They don't overeat every moment.

2:04 They overeat when they get frustrated or lonely or bored.

2:08 There's a pattern.

2:09 You can change any pattern once you know what it is.

2:11 But when you think it's random,

2:12 like I just can't control myself, it's a problem.

2:15 Many of us think we are our patterns.

2:18 Well, it's hard to change yourself, easy to change a pattern.

2:21 So, the first skill to master is recognizing patterns.

2:24 Second skill is learning to utilize patterns.

2:28 There's tremendous opportunities in the marketplace.

2:31 It's during times of the massive pessimism that you

2:34 earn the most if you can keep your head straight.

2:36 But you have to recognize the pattern and use it.

2:40 You know, I used to be frustrated trying to get into some of these, you know,

2:43 some of the best, there's only a few of the very best in the world,

2:45 private equity opportunities.

2:47 And you know, these guys have produced unbelievable returns.

2:49 And it's like, you know,

2:50 my name would get me in, I'd get a little piece of it, but not a meaningful one.

2:53 And then I studied and found the pattern of the very best.

2:56 Now I own 80 different private equity firms, not the fund.

3:00 I own the firms.

3:01 I get the two and 20 on 80 different ones, some of the biggest on Earth.

3:05 And once I learn what they're doing, I just do the same thing.

3:08 But I didn't just recognize it, I used it.

3:10 But the most powerful thing is when you get to the third stage,

3:13 and that's what some of you already doing,

3:14 or you wouldn't be the best in your business.

3:16 And that is you start creating patterns.

3:20 Now you're no longer at the reaction of things at all,

3:22 or even responding, or just using.

3:24 Now you're making things happen at the level you want.

3:26 It's kind of like in the beginning to learn to play piano,

3:29 you probably play someone else's pattern, someone who's figured it out.

3:33 And you play enough of those things for enough years with enough emotion,

3:36 and then one day you wake up and you start playing

3:39 your own music cuz you have different level of mastery of those patterns.

3:43 You start to take your version of that put it in.

3:46 And that's the process that we really need to go through.

3:48 So, once you understand these patterns,

3:51 you don't have to be fearful about something.

3:52 You just know what season you're in and what to do.

3:57 So, in order to do that, there's certain patterns that I want

4:00 to take you through today that can help you maximize your results.

4:03 Energy is the base of everything,

4:05 and most of us have very low energy because since COVID,

4:08 our society has changed so much.

4:10 People don't even want to go to work.

4:15 And so now the base level of energy in our society is so low.

4:19 The lower your energy level, the more life looks terrible,

4:22 the more overwhelmed you get, the more stressed you get.

4:26 [music] When you're really in a great place,

4:31 when you have a really high energy, our energy affects everything.

4:36 And most of us we're like fish in water, we don't notice it.

4:40 When you're in a high energy positive state,

4:42 do you perform at a higher level or lower level?

4:46 You treat people better or worse?

4:47 Do you enjoy your life more or less?

4:50 So, it's intelligent to be in a positive state.

4:57 You're just afraid of trying [music] and failing.

5:00 I'm okay with that.

5:01 I'm not telling you what to do.

5:03 But how's it working for you so far?

5:05 How happy are you in this process?

5:07 Sometimes the most important things we leave out cuz we're so used to it.

5:12 It's just like like I said, like fish in water.

5:15 But think about that.

5:17 Energy is actually a habit.

5:20 You can change your energy in a millisecond with no sleep and with no food,

5:24 but it requires a demand in your body.

5:29 You'll discover you feel better and better.

5:30 It becomes addictive in a good way.

5:33 And whatever the season, if you're going to maximize your results,

5:38 if you're going to maximize your enjoyment,

5:40 if you're going to maximize your impact,

5:42 you have to master one skill, the skill of leadership.

5:44 What is the skill of leadership?

5:49 Influence.

5:50 What makes somebody a leader is one thing, their ability influence the thoughts,

5:56 the feelings, and the actions of another person on a consistent basis.

5:59 If you're able to do that in a positive way, you're a positive leader.

6:01 You do it in a negative way, you're Hitler.

6:05 Because influence can come for positive or negative purposes, right?

6:08 But if you and I are going to be people of influence,

6:11 we have to understand something.

6:13 We usually good at influencing people who are like who?

6:16 Ourselves.

6:17 So, here's the problem.

6:18 Most people only good at influencing people like themselves.

6:21 You're good with that kid, but not so great with the other one.

6:24 Why?

6:25 Because in order to influence someone,

6:29 you need to understand what already influences them.

6:32 I'm going to say that again.

6:33 In order to effectively influence someone,

6:36 you have to know what already influences them.

6:38 So, we have to understand each person's influence slightly differently.

6:42 But there are two universal things that influence.

6:44 And if you know these, you can influence anybody.

6:46 And what are they?

6:47 Two forces.

6:48 Number one is the state that that person is in in that moment in time.

6:53 The mental emotional state.

6:55 If somebody's in a pissed off angry state,

6:58 are they likely going to behave very different than if they're feeling playful?

7:01 Of course, you know that.

7:02 But interestingly enough, if you can get a totally different

7:05 answer from someone in a totally different state.

7:07 So, the first thing it does that is states we want to influence ourselves,

7:10 we have to change our state quickly.

7:17 If we want to influence others, change state.

7:18 I'm going to show you multiple ways to do it.

7:19 And then long-term, what influences people is what we

7:23 call their blueprint or their model of the world.

7:27 That's another way of describing we all have a set of beliefs, a set of values,

7:31 a set of expectations about how we should be, about other people should be,

7:36 how people should treat us, how we should treat others.

7:38 What influences people the most?

7:40 Is it what you say?

7:42 Is it how you say it?

7:44 Or is it the state you're in when you say it?

7:47 When you use more of your creator's gifts,

7:50 the gifts your creator gave you, you get to experience more of those gifts.

7:53 It's that simple.

7:54 If you want more joy, then think about this.

7:56 You need to do more joy.

7:59 You don't need to focus on the action.

8:01 You need to put yourself in a state where that action happens automatically.

8:05 See, when you're in a certain state, no one has to tell you what to do.

8:07 It just flows, doesn't it?

8:09 You have a great computer, you don't have enough electrical power,

8:11 it's not going to put out what you want.

8:14 So, our state is the most important element.

8:16 So, how do you get in state when you don't feel like it?

8:18 Or if you feel like it, how do you put yourself in a better state?

8:20 Focus equals reality to the individual.

8:25 We don't experience life,

8:26 so the most important skill in life is controlling your focus.

8:31 Most decisions, unfortunately, we do habitually.

8:33 We don't even think consciously about it.

8:35 But if you want to change your life,

8:36 you should be conscious of these three decisions.

8:37 Here's the first one.

8:39 Right now, some part of you is deciding what to focus on.

8:43 Like I said, there's a million things you can focus on.

8:45 What you heard earlier, you could be focused on what I'm talking right now.

8:47 But you're only experiencing what you focus on.

8:49 But there are patterns of focus.

8:51 The minute you focus on something, you feel it.

8:54 And the second thing that happens is you give it a meaning.

8:57 The minute you focus on something, what does this mean?

8:59 Is this the end or the beginning?

9:01 If you think it's the end of a relationship,

9:04 are you going to behave the same way

9:05 as you think it's the beginning of a relationship?

9:08 If you think someone is dissing you, [music]

9:11 or someone is disrespecting you, or someone is challenging you,

9:16 or someone is coaching you, or someone is actually loving on you right now.

9:19 Meaning equals emotion, emotion equals life.

9:24 If you think one thing, you're going to feel one way.

9:25 Think it's something else, you'll feel totally different.

9:27 But your feelings control the third decision, what are you going to do?

9:30 Are you going to smack them?

9:31 Are you going to report them?

9:32 Are you going to give up?

9:34 Are you going to follow through?

9:37 So, these three decisions, what I'm going to focus on, what does it mean,

9:39 and what I'm going to do, affect each other.

9:41 And the meaning one creates the emotion,

9:42 and the emotion affects what you're going to do.

9:45 If you're always focusing on what's missing,

9:47 how will you ever sustain happiness?

9:49 It's actually impossible.

9:50 It's nothing to do with you.

9:51 It's software that won't produce that.

9:53 Many overachievers are so focused on getting the result, and it's never enough.

9:57 It's the next result, the next result, cuz it's never enough.

10:01 Now, I have that overall mindset or attitude, but what I learned was,

10:04 holy it's like [music] being on a hamster on a wheel, right?

10:08 So, if you train yourself to focus first on what you have,

10:12 it puts you in a state of gratitude and from that place,

10:14 there's no scarcity and you're able to do more,

10:16 cuz there's more [music] energy in that state.

10:19 So, you have to train yourself to focus on what you have first and then

10:23 you have a short burst of what's missing to focus on what you want to do.

10:26 If you got nothing and you're grateful, you're rich.

10:28 If you got a billion dollars and you're angry and frustrated,

10:30 your life is called angry and frustrated.

10:33 So, it's a pattern.

10:35 And you can change any pattern you want to change,

10:38 as long as you understand what the triggers are to make it happen.

10:40 So, what I'm suggesting to you is,

10:42 you can change any state by changing your physiology or your focus.

10:46 How many of you have ever felt stuck?

10:50 When it happens, people often get overwhelmed by it, but you can change it very,

10:54 very quickly when you understand a couple of fundamental things.

10:57 Now, when people get frustrated or angry,

11:00 overwhelmed, those states, anger, frustration, etc.,

11:04 are the ones that usually mess up your business,

11:05 mess up your relationship, but we all get through our times.

11:08 But, the ability to snap out of that is priceless.

11:12 If you understand what it does to your brain and body,

11:15 you'll also discover you can not only just snap out of it,

11:17 you can put yourself in a state [music] where everything starts to flow again.