If You Only Watch One Mindset Video, Make It This | Emma Grede

0:00 I think that we've got ourselves into a really dangerous position when we feel

0:04 [music] like the only businesses that are

0:07 valid are billiondoll unicorns sized and shaped ones.

0:11 There's a lot of different ways [music]

0:12 to do businesses and so I would think are

0:15 the limitations real or are you putting them

0:17 on yourself before you get out of the gate?

0:19 Emma Greed in [music] the house, one of America's richest self-made women,

0:23 having built multiple billion dollar brands and she's

0:26 now the author of [music] Start with Yourself.

0:28 She's here to challenge everything you think about ambition,

0:31 success, and the life you're capable of building.

0:34 You have to [music] get out of your own way.

0:36 You got to make sure that your biggest

0:38 enemy isn't between your own two ears, right?

0:40 You [music] have to say to yourself, "Okay, wait a minute.

0:42 I have these giant aspirations." You got to get off your desktop,

0:45 out of your head, and do something.

0:49 You could go back to the younger version of you

0:51 with all the lessons you know now, [music] what would you say to her?

0:54 I'm going to be really honest with you and say something that's maybe

0:57 deeply unpopular because of where we are in this country [music] right now.

1:03 Very excited about this.

1:05 One of the things I'm curious about is how

1:07 you were able to become so successful with your mindset

1:10 first without having everything growing up in the perfect

1:14 environment because I know you didn't have the perfect environment,

1:17 the perfect schooling, all the opportunities given to you.

1:21 So, how did you develop a mindset that allowed you to have a thriving life,

1:26 thriving marriage, thriving family, thriving health,

1:29 thriving community, and everything else you've created?

1:32 I love that you start there.

1:33 That's like the the best thing that the best

1:35 first question ever because I feel like

1:38 where I come from and the way that I started is so foundational to my success.

1:43 And I often hear people talk about, you know,

1:47 scarcity or childhood trauma or like the stuff

1:50 that happened to them in a negative way.

1:52 And I think for me it was fundamental to the person that I am now.

1:57 First of all, like I come from East London.

1:58 I'm the eldest of four girls, raised with a single mom.

2:02 And so my life was really like from the beginning it was about doing, right?

2:06 There was a role to play.

2:07 Like my mom's the dad, I'm the mom.

2:09 We've got three kids together.

2:10 and my job was to like get them out of the house, make the pack lunches,

2:13 iron the shirts, get them to school,

2:15 by which point I would turn around, go home and watch Oprah.

2:18 So, I missed a lot of school.

2:20 Um, but it's interesting because I felt so capable, you know,

2:23 by like 10 or 11 I could cook dinner for five people.

2:27 And I never thought about it as like, God, this is like such a drain.

2:32 I was like, look how much stuff I can do.

2:34 Like, look how capable I am.

2:35 And I really felt superior to people around me, to the kids around me.

2:39 Yeah.

2:40 I really did.

2:40 I was like, "Look at these.

2:41 They're like playing in the street.

2:43 Meanwhile, I've just cooked dinner for five kids

2:44 and all my shirts are ironed for tomorrow." Like, I really believed that.

2:49 And I think I was lucky cuz I had a mom that really,

2:53 you know, when you come from a place that's like, you know, devoid of hope.

2:57 Like my mom kind of gave me a lot of hope in myself.

3:01 She didn't kind of like gaslight me,

3:03 but she was very much of this idea, you know,

3:05 she was like, "Emy, you're not better than anyone,

3:07 but no one's better than you." And I really believed that.

3:10 I was like, "Oh, okay." So, as I kind of went through my life and I,

3:14 you know, it's like I left where I was from in Plasau,

3:17 by the time I started getting jobs and in England,

3:19 you know, there's such a hierarchical class system.

3:22 I never imagined that any of these kids that went

3:24 to Eaton or Harrow were any better than me.

3:26 I never imagined that because No,

3:29 I didn't think because they had an education and I didn't that they were better.

3:32 I was like, "You've got one thing, I've got some other thing.

3:35 My stuff is going to be all right." Why did

3:37 you believe that though when most people don't see that?

3:40 Because I I think I really knew better.

3:42 I'd proved my capability.

3:44 I had proved that I could like have an idea of what was going to happen.

3:50 And I really in my head had lifted myself out of where I was from.

3:55 Like I was always kind of looking over

3:56 there imagining what could be in my future.

3:59 And also I was a very like my mom again I said she didn't gaslight me cuz

4:03 she was like you can have anything you want

4:04 so long as you're willing to work for it.

4:06 So I was like, I'm just going to be the hardest worker.

4:08 I'm going to do the most.

4:09 And so it's like I had a paper route.

4:11 I worked in a deli.

4:12 I worked in the local shop.

4:13 I sold fireworks.

4:14 Like I did anything to get a buck, you know?

4:17 I mean anything.

4:18 I used to sell like Ralph Lauren and YSL shirts to the teachers at recess.

4:23 I was, you know, I was a hustler in every sense of the word.

4:26 And so to me that like, you know, those dollars that just meant freedom.

4:30 That meant like God there's like something that I can do.

4:33 I can take this.

4:34 I can turn it into this.

4:35 But I never ever thought that I was disadvantaged.

4:39 Like that just wasn't in my head.

4:41 So, was it just your mom at home?

4:43 Yeah, just My mom went to work every day.

4:45 So, she she worked in in a bank.

4:48 She would literally get up super early and she'd

4:50 be out the house by like 7 7:30.

4:53 So, I was really left to my own devices cuz she was not coming back,

4:56 you know, she was going to like bingo after work.

4:57 She was doing what she was doing.

4:58 She needed to relax.

4:59 I was I was left with these kids of mine, my sisters.

5:04 And uh you know it was it was up to me what I was going to do.

5:06 And I I just knew like you could make

5:09 the day great or you could make the day terrible.

5:11 And I was like I've got to make the day

5:13 great because these kids they're vibing off of me.

5:16 Sorry if I don't know this but was your father never around or No.

5:19 So my mom and dad split when I was like 5 years old.

5:24 So my mom had three kids under five when she was 28.

5:28 So when you think about that like she was such a young woman.

5:32 Um, and it was tough for her.

5:34 It was really tough for her.

5:35 So that's why there was never like a, "Oh my goodness,

5:38 do I have to help my mom?" It was like do or die.

5:40 Like of course you have to help your mom.

5:41 Like you've got think you need to get through the day.

5:43 Everybody's got to do what they do.

5:45 Um, so my dad wasn't around.

5:47 He came back in my life in my kind of late teens.

5:51 And he's like he's a great guy.

5:54 You know, in my head I was like it didn't work out between them.

5:57 That had nothing to do with me.

5:58 And so it's like I've done so much therapy and so much work on myself and you

6:03 know looked everywhere for the daddy issues

6:05 but again I never thought that was about me.

6:07 I was like those two didn't work.

6:09 Interesting.

6:09 So you didn't feel like he left you or anything.

6:11 They just let me tell you in no uncertain terms he did

6:15 but it's just that I never that was a verdict on me.

6:18 No.

6:18 I mean listen I could probably have done with the presence of him.

6:23 But you know I had an incredible granddad.

6:25 I had amazing uncles and you know in my book I talk about those people

6:30 that in my life like came and rescued me

6:33 that came and they were my figures and um

6:36 I never missed out on like a male influence and and by the way I mean

6:39 my mom is like five men so [laughter] it was it was totally fine for me.

6:44 I'm curious I don't know if you've shared this but what is the greatest lesson

6:49 you learned from your the absence of your father during that period of time?

6:53 No [snorts] one has ever asked me that question.

6:56 Um, what did I learn?

6:58 You know, I learned, you know, I think I learned about myself.

7:03 I I learned that I was capable

7:06 and that I didn't really need anyone.

7:10 You know, I learned that I think what was

7:13 interesting is I was surrounded by all of these women.

7:16 My nan, my mom's one of four, too.

7:19 So, she has sisters, you know, I had aunties.

7:22 I had like a lot of women around me that seemingly were just

7:25 doing everything and getting on with everything and and moaning about it a lot.

7:29 A lot of [laughter] a lot of kind of, you know, no one was quiet in my family.

7:34 But I learned that women were really unbelievably capable.

7:38 And there was no sense to me that you would miss out

7:41 on something by the lack or the void of a man being around.

7:46 You mentioned beforehand that you've been married for 17 years.

7:49 You got four amazing kids as well.

7:51 thriving business, thriving marriage, thriving kids.

7:55 What did your parents' separation teach you

7:59 about how to have a thriving marriage?

8:01 Well, you know, I think that what I learned from my mom is that that you

8:06 don't make compromises on the type of person and life that you want to live.

8:11 And as I've gone into my marriage, I think I was very clear about that.

8:15 How did that look?

8:16 So I, you know, it's like I've had, you know, quite a lot of boyfriends.

8:20 [laughter] I went, I went around before I found

8:23 the one that I decided to settle down with.

8:25 And I think I was always really clear about

8:27 what type of man I would want to be with.

8:30 You know, I'm a very ambitious woman and it would never have worked for me

8:35 to be with anyone who is anything other

8:37 than that and anyone who accepted anything less

8:41 or wanted you to be something different.

8:42 Yeah.

8:42 Like that was never going to happen.

8:43 And so I think that in everything I do,

8:45 I have really high standards, but I have high standards for myself.

8:49 I have high standards for everyone around me.

8:51 And so when it came to like looking for a husband, my standards were high.

8:54 I was like, I'm cute.

8:55 I know what I'm doing.

8:56 Like I'm a good, you know, like I can I can make it work.

8:59 I don't need anyone for anything.

9:01 And so I think when I was looking and thinking about, you know,

9:05 boyfriends ever in my life and certainly whoever I was going

9:08 to settle down with, I I kept those standards really high.

9:12 I was not going to settle.

9:13 Like I was never going to settle.

9:14 And the funny thing is, you know, I met my husband when I was what, 24

9:19 and so relatively early by today's standards.

9:23 Um, but I knew immediately I I knew that that was the man I was going to marry.

9:28 Wow.

9:28 Really?

9:28 Yeah.

9:29 Straight like I I first day like first moment

9:31 like the first moment because what what will come what I should tell

9:34 you is that my husband turned out to be my first ever investor.

9:38 So when I met my husband, I actually started working for him

9:43 and his business partner and after about six months,

9:45 I spun out into my own company

9:47 and they were my first investors pre- relationship, pre-marriage.

9:51 But you knew when I knew your boss when I met him

9:54 I knew when I met him on the day that he he wrote

9:57 something down on a piece of paper which was my deal that I

10:00 would be going into this company index like here's your equity share,

10:03 here's your profit share, this is what your base salary would be.

10:06 I still have that piece of paper.

10:07 Come on.

10:07 No, I swear to God.

10:08 You have it framed?

10:09 I No, I don't have it framed, but I have it in a little book in my office.

10:12 I know.

10:12 It would have been so good.

10:14 Just a little reminder.

10:15 It was a very low offer, by the way, which I negotiated.

10:18 But yeah, I I I really um I really loved him.

10:21 I did.

10:22 Yeah.

10:22 So, enough to keep the piece of paper.

10:24 So, you met him.

10:25 He made this offer, but then it

10:26 wasn't until later when you started dating, right?

10:28 Yeah.

10:29 It was like about a year and a bit later.

10:31 Really?

10:31 But you knew in your mind for a year,

10:33 oh, I'm here.

10:34 This is my guy.

10:35 Yeah, I had a, you know, again, these things are always complicated.

10:38 They're never straightforward.

10:39 He had a girlfriend.

10:40 I have a boyfriend.

10:41 I'm not that girl.

10:43 Something inside of you intuitively, you're like,

10:44 I was like, that's my guy.

10:45 It's just a matter of time.

10:47 Wow.

10:47 Yeah.

10:48 Yeah.

10:49 That's interesting.

10:49 That's interesting.

10:51 So, you knew that the relationship you were

10:54 in wasn't meant for you long term at that point.

10:57 Yeah.

10:57 And that's a really hard thing to say because I am I'm a relationship.

11:01 I've done that, too.

11:01 Yeah.

11:02 I'm a relationship person.

11:03 I think often times, certainly with me,

11:06 like I'm a person who cooks the thing before they move to the thing, right?

11:10 I'm like I'm a risk taker in business,

11:13 but in my personal life, like I ain't messing around with that.

11:16 I'm going to make sure I'm good there before I take away from here.

11:20 Clean space.

11:20 But yeah, but intuitively you were like, "Oh,

11:24 this is not the guy I'm supposed to be with.

11:26 I'm supposed to be with someone else." Like intuitively, like you knew.

11:29 Yeah.

11:29 I knew.

11:30 Gosh, isn't that interesting?

11:31 Most women say that they know

11:33 on the day of their wedding whether they're supposed

11:35 to be with that person or not or if it's going to work out or not.

11:37 It's like, yeah, looking back,

11:38 I knew on the aisle that something wasn't supposed to work out.

11:40 I mean, I I would never see I'm the I would be the runaway bride.

11:43 Like, first of all, I just never even get there because any doubt

11:46 that I have like I'm so attuned to listening to myself that now,

11:51 you know, it's like if I got like a weird feeling,

11:53 I'd be like, do you know what?

11:54 I can't do this interview and I'm so sorry to waste your time, but I'm out.

11:57 Like, I don't I don't go against lock the doors.

12:01 I don't I don't go against how I feel like ever.

12:05 When was the last time you went against

12:06 your intuition where it didn't work out for you?

12:08 And there was there something such a big enticing carrot that was like, "Wow,

12:12 there's this big money-making opportunity,

12:15 but this person is just something's a little bit off,

12:18 but I'm going to let that slide and then we'll let's move

12:21 forward with the deal." And then did something blow up in your face?

12:24 When I was kind of late 20s,

12:29 somebody very prolific came to purchase my company and I wanted to sell.

12:34 I was a seller.

12:36 And I knew that it wasn't right and I was proven right 10, 15 years later.

12:43 Did you end up selling my intuition?

12:44 I sold the business but not to this person.

12:46 And I was absolutely right not to sell it to that person.

12:50 And the only reason I say it is cuz there

12:52 were other people involved cuz usually I'd be like sure

12:55 there were other people around that situation.

12:56 But for me, I was looking so much to get out of that business

13:00 and to have a new chapter in my life and I was like this ain't it.

13:04 But when was the last time you went against that intuition?

13:07 I don't know that I do.

13:08 And I tell you why.

13:09 Because that comes from a place of real privilege, right?

13:11 Like I don't need the money.

13:14 I don't need to make sacrifices.

13:16 I'm, you know, usually the the boss or the leader in the situation.

13:21 So, I don't need to sacrifice my integrity

13:24 or my decision- making to to go somewhere.

13:27 I mean, listen, there are things that I say no to all the time.

13:31 But also, like, I'm wired not to be a people pleaser.

13:34 Like, it just isn't in me.

13:35 I can sense that about you.

13:36 Even as a kid before I had choice, like it just isn't my makeup.

13:39 It's just I'm not wired that way.

13:41 Until maybe like four years ago, I was wired to be a people pleaser.

13:44 You were?

13:44 until about four years ago when I

13:46 actually learned about boundaries and confrontation and just

13:49 like saying no to people and being like no I'm not gonna do this.

13:53 It's also part of where I come from.

13:55 Yeah.

13:55 You have that you have that energy.

13:57 You don't you don't say things to make people happy,

13:59 you know, and it's like and also you're judged.

14:02 It's not even like just the toughness.

14:03 It's like you would be judged for actually like not

14:07 doing what you meant and not saying what you mean.

14:10 So in that way it's like I am just like hardwired to tell you the truth.

14:15 I wish I would have met you like 15 years

14:16 ago and like not had to suffer for so long.

14:19 You know what I mean?

14:20 It's like I was wanting so much to kind

14:23 of keep the peace and not speak up that I

14:25 would just like betray myself over and over to like

14:29 please other people until about four or five years ago.

14:32 And my wife was actually the one who was like that I

14:35 just watched her just confront people and just be like, "No,

14:38 I'm not doing and and no and no." In a kind way,

14:41 not like a mean way, but I was like, "Wow, that's really inspiring."

14:44 You know, it's so funny because I um I remember

14:47 I interviewed Melody Hubson who is like my business hero.

14:50 You talked about in your book, your mentor, your business mentor.

14:53 I'm I'm like obsessed with Melody.

14:55 And she says something beautiful, you know?

14:56 It's like you can be honest, you don't need to be brutally honest.

14:59 Yeah.

15:00 And I love that.

15:01 You don't have to be mean about it, but you can be really straightforward.

15:04 And I think that one of my like superpowers

15:07 in life is like no one's ever left guessing around me.

15:09 No one's like, "I wonder what Emma's thinking.

15:11 You know what I'm thinking." You can tell that right away.

15:13 It's like Yeah.

15:14 It's like I've told you my face has said it.

15:16 I'm going to have a conversation with you in the moment.

15:18 I ain't waiting.

15:19 And that is also just about like I don't want to carry stuff around.

15:22 I don't want to suffer.

15:24 Like I am a person who is really really straightforward.

15:26 What you see is what you get and you're going to get it straight away.

15:29 Like it or not.

15:30 I think you've mentioned twice by now in this conversation

15:33 that you grew up not needing someone specifically like a man.

15:37 I think you mentioned maybe some around

15:38 that like I was strong enough or independent enough.

15:40 I didn't need someone to make it in some way.

15:42 I can't remember exactly how you state it.

15:45 Where would you be if you weren't in a beautiful

15:47 marriage though you not that you need your husband

15:50 but in some ways we need other people to experience

15:54 beautiful moments of life and to experience more love and abundance.

15:57 M

15:57 so I guess I'm I'm asking not questioning you but asking like where is that line

16:02 of not needing someone but also needing other

16:06 people to create those moments in your life.

16:09 So I love that question because I'm somebody that really thrives in community.

16:14 Like it's like I have my people like my ride

16:17 or die and make no mistake like I need my husband.

16:22 Like my husband is somebody that I think is my best friend and he's the person

16:28 that I find the most interesting on the planet and I still really fancy him.

16:32 Thank God.

16:33 Um and and I really need him.

16:36 I think that I don't when I say I don't need anyone,

16:41 my expectation on people is never that they will be everything to me.

16:46 Like I haven't set Yens up to be like all

16:48 the things that I need because I need different things

16:51 from different people and it's like I have like

16:53 a bunch of girlfriends and I have the people that I

16:55 work with and I have my sisters and I have

16:57 my family and I have my husband and my life

16:59 is like a tapestry of all of these different things

17:02 that I've created around me and I need all of them.

17:06 I need everything.

17:08 I need all of it.

17:09 And I love that because I am somebody

17:11 that like like I'm a real life person, you know?

17:14 I want to be in person with you.

17:16 I would like give the phone up tomorrow.

17:19 You know, I am an in-person person.

17:21 I want to do things.

17:22 I want to be in the office.

17:23 I want to chat with you for 3 hours.

17:25 It's like I have zero time for like nightclub chat,

17:28 you know, frivolous conversations.

17:31 I want to go straight in, all in.

17:32 Tell me everything.

17:33 Like, tell me about your wife, the kids, the thing, the thing.

17:35 Do you know what I mean?

17:35 Like that's what I care about.

17:37 So, I am a person who needs those relationships.

17:41 And that's what makes it so difficult when you

17:43 move away from home because you move and you lose,

17:48 you know, the kind of price of opportunity is familiarity.

17:52 Do you know what I mean?

17:53 You lose everything that you feel so good and that makes

17:56 you tick and that makes you you to some extent.

17:59 And so I feel like those sacrifices and those trade-offs,

18:02 while they've been important and amazing for my success,

18:06 I have given something in order to get that back.

18:09 What have you given?

18:10 Well, you've given up.

18:12 Like, you know, the, you know,

18:15 familiarity is an interesting thing because when you're somebody like me,

18:20 I don't want to like I don't want to do new people all the time.

18:23 Like, I would rather, you know, it's like I'm invited to a lot of things.

18:27 I don't want to go.

18:28 I want to like, you know, I I don't want to go.

18:30 I want to be with somebody that I care about,

18:33 who cares about me, and talk about that thing that happened.

18:36 You know, it's like that's just who I am.

18:38 And so I think when you leave where you're from, a little piece of you

18:42 kind of, you know, falls away because like I don't have

18:46 that same connectivity with all of the people that I love.

18:49 I had to give something up to get something else.

18:53 Interesting.

18:52 And so that's there's a real cost to that, you know.

18:56 I feel like mentally and in the world,

18:59 you've been achieving greatness since you were a young kid.

19:02 from, you know, having multiple jobs to running

19:05 your siblings lives and managing all these things and also

19:08 having a positive mindset along the way to transitioning

19:12 into the business world and being extremely successful.

19:14 And in your book, you have a quote on page 70 that says,

19:17 "The ascent to greatness is rarely pretty and you'll learn

19:21 the most from failure." Since we're on the school of greatness,

19:24 what is the thing you failed the most that has taught you about greatness?

19:29 First of all, I love the name of this podcast.

19:31 It's so good.

19:32 I stole the manga there cuz I was like,

19:34 I want to drink from the school of greatness every damn day.

19:37 I was like, let's go take it.

19:38 You know, the reason I tried to include all of the mistakes

19:43 and all of the failings is because they have been in hindsight,

19:47 right, so hard when you're in it.

19:49 But of course, they've been the places

19:51 where I've grown and everybody knows that.

19:53 And I have kind of retrained my mind at this point

19:57 to look for the fear to look for the moments where

20:01 I might not come out on the other side in the best

20:04 way because I know that that's where all the growth is really.

20:08 Yeah.

20:08 like and it's a really difficult thing to do because specifically for women

20:13 I think that we are sort of engineered in a way where

20:17 our emotions can take so much about decision-m and what I talk about

20:20 in the book is how I or one of the reasons I think I've

20:24 been able to build this life is because I've been able to manage

20:28 my emotions not that I've got rid of fear or guilt or sadness

20:32 or anger or any of the things I feel but I've trained myself

20:35 to understand what is useful and what is going to get me somewhere.

20:39 And so when I think about all the failures,

20:42 I don't look at them as like an assault on me and my character.

20:46 I'm like, that was just a moment where I had something to learn and and life

20:50 had something to show me and I had to go through that terrible time

20:55 to get on the other side.

20:56 I couldn't have this without that.

20:58 And so now I find myself going, what scares me?

21:01 Like what am I really scared of doing now?

21:04 because I am 100% sure that's where

21:07 the next like moment of greatness is coming from.

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22:16 Your home might be worth more than you think.

22:19 Find out how much at airbnb.com/host.

22:24 I mean, you talk about this, you know, managing your emotions on page 17,

22:28 you say to reap the benefits of your gutbased intuitions,

22:32 which we were talking about, and to use your emotions in a healthy way,

22:35 you need to learn how to modulate and manage them.

22:38 So, what is the first step then to managing your emotions in an uncertain world?

22:43 Yeah.

22:43 Isn't that difficult?

22:44 Because it is so uncertain.

22:46 And I find that, you know, for me, like my default emotion was always anger.

22:52 Really?

22:52 Yeah.

22:53 Where I come from, it was like the first thing.

22:56 I wouldn't get sad.

22:57 I would didn't feel like, you know, like I felt angry

23:02 about what?

23:03 Everything.

23:03 You know, also because that was what was around me.

23:06 You know, I come from a really blamy culture where it was like,

23:09 you know, I can't get a doctor's appointment.

23:10 They're not picking up our trash.

23:12 These people taking our jobs.

23:14 The weather is miserable.

23:15 And and it was this blamy culture where

23:18 everyone was angry about everything all the time.

23:21 And there were moments in my life where I've really blown

23:24 up and been so mortally embarrassed like like to the point

23:30 where I felt like the pits of the earth I've been

23:32 like how can I ever recover from this blow up like

23:37 from something you said or did or emotionally I did

23:39 and said way I've behaved how I've acted like yeah

23:43 and I I mean I went I put myself in anger

23:46 management counseling just for Oh yeah like when I was 19.

23:50 Absolutely.

23:50 I was like, "This is not this is not going to serve me."

23:53 You put yourself in it.

23:54 Oh, yeah.

23:55 Something bad must have happened to put yourself in it.

23:57 Oh, I talk about in the book.

23:58 It's my most embarrassing moment ever.

24:00 I um I just like I think I can be as a as a kid,

24:06 I I didn't understand that there was another way.

24:09 There was nobody that ever explained to me that you could take a deep breath,

24:15 that you could go inside yourself, that you can have an emotion and that there

24:21 can be some detachment from who you are.

24:23 I thought that was who I am.

24:25 Who I was the emotion was you.

24:27 I thought it was me.

24:28 I thought that I am that person.

24:30 And so I'm experiencing this emotion.

24:33 No, no such thing.

24:33 I really believed that's who I was and I only had that.

24:36 That was my default mode.

24:37 And so when I, you know, it's like when you know better, you do better.

24:41 But I had to go out and find that because it wasn't presented to me in that way.

24:47 Wow.

24:47 That's fascinating.

24:48 It's kind of like when my I kind of had my turning point when I was

24:51 around 30 years old because I had a lot of anger inside of me as well.

24:54 And I think it's I felt like I

24:56 was being taken advantage of most of my childhood.

24:59 And all of a sudden the anger just came out kind of in every area of my life.

25:04 And my friend was like, I don't want to hang out with you anymore.

25:06 I got I got in a physical fight on a basketball

25:08 court actually in the main streets of West Hollywood

25:11 and um in a pick a basketball game that had nothing on the line.

25:15 A physical fight in your 30s.

25:16 That's it.

25:17 I was just I was 29.

25:18 Maybe I was 29.

25:19 So almost 30, but I got in a fist fight with someone.

25:22 And I remember walking back into like my apartment

25:25 and looking in the mirror and just like

25:27 looking myself in the eyes in the mirror shaking

25:30 and being like I don't recognize who I am.

25:33 Like what who am I?

25:34 What am I doing?

25:35 like I'm a grown man getting out of his fight over nothing over nothing.

25:39 Nothing.

25:40 And I could have like really done something bad, you know?

25:43 Thankfully the guy was okay afterwards,

25:45 but just never know where that emotion could

25:48 lead if you don't learn to like address it.

25:50 Yeah.

25:51 Right.

25:51 And so that's pretty insightful that you did that at 19.

25:54 No.

25:54 And I I've learned that over the years, you know,

25:57 because I think anger is one that for me

26:00 I was able to get a grip on and understand, but it's still there.

26:06 Yeah.

26:06 Yeah.

26:08 Right.

26:07 You still you still have to like take a breath.

26:09 Still there and you don't have to go that far to find it.

26:12 But there are all of these very unhelpful emotions.

26:15 And I think the older I've got, the more I've understood,

26:18 you know, what would I do if I wasn't really scared?

26:21 what would I do if I didn't feel guilt?

26:24 And so, so much of what I'm talking about in this book is like

26:27 figuring out like a vision for yourself and an idea of who you are.

26:32 And I think that as a kid, I had a strong feeling that where I was from

26:38 wasn't who I am.

26:39 I was like, I am not supposed to be here.

26:41 This is not the rest of my life.

26:43 I belong somewhere else.

26:44 There is better stuff for me.

26:46 And I was like, what can I do?

26:49 what is within my reach to get me out.

26:51 And that for me was work.

26:53 Any type of work.

26:54 I was like, get on a train and go into town

26:57 and find a way that you can physically get away from this place.

27:01 And in the beginning, it was just that the distance.

27:03 I was like, if I get on a train and go for an hour,

27:05 I'm far enough away that I can be somebody else.

27:09 Wow.

27:08 And I really I remember the thought of that.

27:11 like you know I just could you know in in London

27:14 we had the tube map and I was like if I

27:16 go from this zone all the way into this zone I'm

27:19 so far away that I can be who I'm supposed to be.

27:22 Did you not feel like you could be who you were supposed to be at home?

27:25 No, it was too difficult really.

27:27 There was so many responsibilities and I was, you know,

27:30 I was already set up to be mom to, you know,

27:34 my sisters and um it was so I had to be really tough

27:40 and when I understood that that toughness

27:43 was causing me to be unnecessarily angry,

27:47 I was very clear about the correlations.

27:49 I was like, I have to get out of here.

27:51 I have to be out of this place where I'm

27:54 in constant reactive mode and I have to choose my choice.

27:58 And that's when I started to think, oh my goodness,

28:00 like that's not the woman I want to be.

28:02 Like for me it was Oprah, right?

28:03 I used to watch Oprah on the TV.

28:05 And you have to go back, you know, if you go back 25 years ago.

28:09 She introduced all of this stuff to the culture that we take for granted now.

28:12 It's like no one was talking about mindfulness, meditation, gratitude,

28:16 like that was she introduced that stuff certainly to me.

28:20 And so I was like, "Oh, I want to be that type of woman." I was like,

28:23 "She," I didn't know anyone like that.

28:24 I didn't know a woman who spoke like that.

28:26 And of course, she was a black woman.

28:27 And so for me, I was like, "I'm going to be like Oprah.

28:30 I'm going to be that woman.

28:32 I'm going to say intelligent things and I'm going to have a lot of money

28:36 and I'm going to be like graceful and I'm still going to be strong,

28:40 but I'm going to do it in this like really beautiful

28:43 feminine and this and that."

28:44 Yeah.

28:44 And I was like, "That's it.

28:46 That's the blueprint." Like she's she's got it, you you know,

28:48 and in my head I was like, she's also making a ton of money.

28:51 Like, cuz you used to see in the newspapers

28:52 that Oprah's done this and she's done that.

28:54 So, to me, I was like, okay, I'm going to model that behavior.

28:58 I'm going to like read everything that she says and I'm going to speak how

29:02 she speaks and I'm going to do this gratitude thing and I was writing down,

29:05 well, you know, I had nothing to be grateful for really,

29:07 but I was like, I'm going to find the things.

29:09 And so, I found a way to vision a life for myself.

29:14 And still now I think about that because I think there's so

29:17 much in our culture and in society for you to measure yourself against.

29:21 And I am always very careful that I'm

29:24 measuring myself up against the things that I want,

29:26 the vision that I have for myself, the type of mom I want to be,

29:29 the type of leader I want to be,

29:31 the things that are important to me, my principles, my values,

29:34 and then I can have fear and guilt and disappointment,

29:37 but not against somebody else's idea of what I should be.

29:41 Interesting.

29:42 This is fascinating because when I was 13,

29:44 I begged my parents to send me away to a private boarding school.

29:47 You did?

29:47 I begged them.

29:48 They did not want me to leave.

29:49 No.

29:49 Who wants their 13-year-old to leave?

29:51 But I grew up in such a environment, you know,

29:54 that was just didn't feel emotionally safe for me, you know?

29:58 And so I I was I ran away essentially, right?

30:02 And I wanted to get out and I couldn't get out fast enough.

30:05 And I I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting

30:08 to get away from your environment or wanting to run away.

30:11 Uh for me, I needed to run away for certain reasons for my emotional safety.

30:16 But eventually, I couldn't run away from myself later.

30:20 Like I stepped I was still running away internally,

30:23 spiritually, emotionally, psychologically, right?

30:25 Chasing and running away to try to fulfill something.

30:28 It doesn't mean it's right or wrong, good or bad,

30:30 but it's just what I did to survive until I had to come back home to me.

30:34 What was the thing you were running away from the most?

30:37 And when did you feel like you came

30:38 back home to you to emotional safety within yourself?

30:44 I think that what I was always running from was

30:49 a future that looked like all the stuff that was around me.

30:53 I was scaredless that I would end up like all the women

30:58 I could see crying over some guy that left them,

31:03 devastated that someone had cheated on them, left broke and alone.

31:08 You know, I could see that despair all around me.

31:13 And I was like, that can never be me.

31:15 That can just that can never be me.

31:17 And also I saw a lot of women, not my own mother,

31:21 but they were at the mercy of the partners that they had, right?

31:25 So when he was up, they were up.

31:27 New car, new curtains, lovely stuff, you know, all great.

31:31 But then when that went away, it was it was gone.

31:34 You know, you had a drunk husband and, you know,

31:37 no money and the car goes and the woman's just like,

31:40 "What happened?" And I was like, "No way." Like no way could that ever be me.

31:46 And I saw it in my own family

31:47 and I saw it in the people around me.

31:50 And so that was like a fear of mine.

31:54 And so for me working and having this idea

31:58 of my life was like that was going to be my escape.

32:01 That was like that's my plan.

32:02 That's my get out plan.

32:03 And then I get to decide and I'll create the the buffer and I

32:08 will be in a position where it doesn't matter who is around me.

32:12 Like I'll be good.

32:13 And to the point where that still shows up in my life today.

32:15 My husband laughs all the time.

32:17 You know, I have my own lawyers.

32:18 Like we have we have a family office and we have our companies and we have,

32:22 you know, like business managers.

32:24 And I still have my own separate lawyers that will

32:27 look at my stuff because I'm like, I get it.

32:30 I love you.

32:30 We're together.

32:30 We're going to do everything.

32:31 And he's like, but you know that you are just like paying through the nose.

32:34 Our lawyers are your lawyers.

32:36 And I'm like, yeah, but you know what?

32:37 I don't know.

32:38 I don't want to be one of those girls.

32:40 You know, you never know.

32:41 You never know.

32:42 So it's in there still in there.

32:44 Deep down it's there and it ain't going anywhere.

32:47 Still worried.

32:48 Still worried.

32:49 So you still got to start with yourself.

32:51 You're still doing the work.

32:52 I'm still working.

32:54 Did [laughter] you guys uh do a prenup before?

32:56 Uh actually we did a postnup.

32:57 We discussed it and then you know

32:58 with wedding arrangements we never got around to it.

33:00 But the nut is there.

33:01 Oh yeah.

33:02 It was fully fully fleshed out and negotiated.

33:05 And it's actually a really funny story.

33:07 We were in a restaurant and it turned out

33:09 that a very famous agent and her husband were

33:12 sitting close to us but we couldn't see

33:14 and watched our whole negotiation and every time I ever

33:16 see this couple they're like oh I'm your prenuptual

33:21 arrangement dinner we heard the whole thing and they

33:24 were cracking up and went home and like why

33:25 don't we have why don't we have a prenuptual agreement

33:28 but you probably I mean were you making the m a lot of money then

33:32 so that is a great point no it at that point uh we were very uneven.

33:38 So my husband had started his business journey in his kind of late 20s,

33:43 early 30s and he was doing way better than I was.

33:47 But you know, I'm always going to bet on myself.

33:49 I was like, it's a matter of time.

33:52 Tik Tok, I was like, just wait.

33:54 So no, I went in and negotiated like I was already who I am today.

33:58 Yeah, that's interesting.

33:59 What a [laughter] psycho.

34:00 Now I think about it, I'm like, what was I being so hard ass about?

34:04 I had absolutely nothing in the future when I have this salaried.

34:07 I had a company that I owned a piece

34:09 in and a I was a salaried person at that time.

34:13 So I was really betting on my future.

34:14 You didn't have a big net worth or anything at the moment.

34:16 You not at that time?

34:18 Absolutely not.

34:19 Maybe a year's worth of savings or a few years maybe or something like that.

34:21 I had very little and was spending um I was I've never ever spent

34:27 beyond my means cuz I'm seriously frugal and I know the price of everything.

34:33 And when I say frugal, it's like I love nice things.

34:36 Like don't get me wrong because my people will be out there going,

34:38 "What is she talking about?

34:39 She's better on this.

34:40 We just went to Chanel.

34:40 She's a liar." Um, but I am very mindful of money and it's still

34:46 I still understand how much every single

34:49 thing costs and the value of everything.

34:51 I think that's what makes me good at my job.

34:53 You know, it's like if I am expecting

34:55 a customer to spend $150 on a pair of jeans,

34:58 they're going to be worth every one of those 150 bucks because I

35:02 have a I have an understanding of what it takes to make 150 bucks.

35:06 So, it's like I'm fully I'm fully still in relation to what things cost.

35:11 If you go back to the younger version of you

35:13 with all the lessons you know now and all the work you've done

35:16 and we're all work in progress for for the rest of our lives,

35:19 what would you say to her?

35:21 like the girl who's there taking care of your siblings

35:23 and the father's not there anymore and you're kind of helping your mom,

35:26 you're parenting your mom and parenting yourself.

35:28 I would say to her what I said,

35:31 which back in those days I used to be like, it's all going to work out.

35:36 Like I really knew and perhaps I'd made an unfair

35:39 correlation in the work piece of it, but I was like,

35:42 if you are just a good girl and you work really hard,

35:47 it's all going to work out for you.

35:48 Wow.

35:48 like and I really believed that

35:51 and I still believe that.

35:53 Do you believe that you would have been able

35:55 to accomplish the results you have staying in your home environment?

36:00 No way.

36:02 Really?

36:01 No.

36:01 And I say that in two ways, right?

36:03 Because for me, home environment is one sort of East London and two England.

36:08 You know, I'm going to be really honest with you and say something

36:11 that's maybe deeply unpopular because of where we are in this country right now.

36:16 And we all know the underbelly of it, right?

36:17 I'm not going to sit here and say that we aren't in a really tumultuous time

36:21 and there isn't an underbelly to where we are and that America has a lot of

36:27 around it.

36:28 Having said that, you know,

36:30 I look at myself and I think I

36:31 am the living breathing embodiment of the American dream.

36:35 There is nowhere on earth that in eight or nine years you can

36:39 come to and have the kind of success and trajectory that I've had.

36:42 Wow.

36:42 And so as difficult as things are right now,

36:46 you have to look at me and go, "Wow, this country is kind of amazing because

36:50 of the people and the communities and the way that you're um allowed to come

36:55 into a system and be successful within that system.

36:59 So what worries me about where we are right now is that you

37:02 would take away the single best thing that this country is all about.

37:07 like that you would erase the very thing that makes you America.

37:13 Like to me it's unfathomable because I look at it and I'm like

37:17 damn this place is good.

37:19 Don't get rid of that.

37:20 Do you know what I mean?

37:21 and it would be like me without hair or I don't know like not good you

37:26 know like not a not a vibe like you you need that in this place cuz that's

37:30 what makes it so amazing like that that fabric

37:34 of the place coupled with those people

37:36 that are here and the way all

37:38 of that works together like that's the magic of America

37:41 where were you in your business or financial

37:44 aspect of things before coming to USA I was doing pretty good so I had bought um

37:50 I had created and sold two companies before I came here.

37:53 So I started my first company in my kind of mid20s

37:56 and that was a 12 year build before I eventually sold it.

38:00 I sold it to IPG media and in the middle of that I got involved in this kind

38:05 of blog platform thing like they were bloggers

38:07 not influencers then before we even had that language.

38:10 Um where I aggregated the ad sales and sold you know like the the ad

38:15 sales of a group of fashion bloggers and I also sold that company.

38:19 So, I had done pretty well, not well like I am now,

38:23 but I had made tens of millions of dollars.

38:26 And I was like, to me, I was rich rich, you know.

38:29 I was like, um,

38:30 you know, I didn't feel done, but I was very much like I've done the thing.

38:34 You know, it's like I've started something, I've built it, I've sold it.

38:38 I made a lot of mistakes.

38:39 You know, I had offices in London, in New York, in LA.

38:42 I closed in LA.

38:42 It's like I did all of the things.

38:45 Um and and that made it actually even harder because I was living,

38:49 you know, I had a house in London.

38:50 I had a beautiful house in the country,

38:52 the the dream of England, you know, and um get away on the weekend.

38:56 Yeah.

38:56 You know, [clears throat] take my two beautiful kids to my country house.

38:59 I thought I was like Kate Middleton, you know, like Queen of the Castle.

39:03 Um, and so it was even harder to risk it all and leave all

39:08 of that to come into uncertainty and honestly to come to LA which was never

39:12 a place that I fancied you know I was like English people I was

39:15 I'm a Londoner you go to New York you know I thought this was like

39:19 for for the entertainment industry I was like

39:21 who lives there it's sunny all the time it's

39:23 so weird the people are weird you know

39:25 I did I that's what that was my appreciation

39:28 my first year I moved here I did not like LA my first year here get with

39:32 cuz I came from Ohio but then I lived in New York

39:35 City for a while and I loved the vibe of New York City,

39:37 the energy, the grittiness, the realness, the rawness and I was like

39:41 everyone here is fake, you know?

39:42 That was my first interpretation.

39:45 Totally.

39:45 But then after a year I was like gosh,

39:46 everyone's in blizzards all over the world and I'm like look at us.

39:49 This is pretty nice

39:50 with our legs outing ourselves.

39:53 No, and I I understand that cuz to me, you know,

39:56 LA was like in yesterday, you know, I was like the time zone doesn't work.

40:01 I can't call my people.

40:03 What are you going to wear if it's sunny every day?

40:05 So far behind.

40:06 Everyone's already got their next day.

40:08 They're going to be ahead of me.

40:09 So, it was a sacrifice.

40:11 Um, and because I was doing pretty well,

40:13 it was even harder for me to fathom like why?

40:17 Like, everybody around me was like, "But you've made it.

40:20 Like, you have all the things like you want more.

40:22 Like, what is wrong with you?" But to me,

40:24 there was something much bigger and and almost like kind of bigger than myself.

40:30 I you know I'd had these two kids.

40:31 Lola was three months old.

40:33 Gray was about two and a half.

40:34 And my husband at that point was like you know what

40:37 Emma he's like you have in this company in good American.

40:41 He's like you have a tiger by the tail.

40:43 You can do with it what you will but I think that you

40:47 need to be and put yourself like right in the middle where it happens.

40:52 And I was like you launched it in

40:54 I launched it while I was in the UK and it really took off.

40:56 like nobody had the visibility that it would take off like that.

41:00 And so I, you know, with Yenz's encouragement,

41:02 I was like, "Okay, let's go to LA.

41:04 We'll go there for 3 years and then we'll come back to Civilization."

41:08 Civilization.

41:08 Eight years later, and I'm not going anywhere.

41:11 What's been the biggest mindset shift you've had

41:14 since moving from the UK to the USA?

41:17 And what has unlocked for you with that mindset?

41:20 Well, I would say everything has changed

41:22 because the possibility for me here seemed endless.

41:26 really.

41:26 Yeah.

41:26 Because when you get when you come from a place that is, you know,

41:30 London is a big international city, but you know,

41:33 make no mistake, it's still a small place, right?

41:37 It's still in some ways such a locked community.

41:40 And I came here, no one knows my accent.

41:42 Everybody thinks I speak like the queen.

41:44 I do not, by the way.

41:46 I [laughter] am not.

41:46 Your team is like, she doesn't talk like that.

41:49 She ain't talking like the queen.

41:50 But there is no judgment here.

41:51 there is like here is a person like how good are

41:54 your ideas how hard are you willing to work and so for me

41:57 that was very freeing because you come to a place and you're

42:00 like there's no baggage like I am whoever I want to be here

42:03 yeah and people care about results more

42:05 than anything they're not like trying to put

42:07 you in a box I guess if you can create something like the market will decide

42:11 yeah and that and that for me that level of opportunity

42:15 and that shift into thinking you know what I am

42:18 as good as my idea and there will somebody who wants

42:23 to think about this, to fund it, to get behind me.

42:26 And so I guess to answer your question,

42:29 like any limitations that I that I thought

42:32 were attached to what I was doing completely disappeared.

42:36 And I think that I started to think in a much bigger way.

42:41 And America and Americans helped with that.

42:44 They naturally, right?

42:45 Yeah, there's just there's a there's a speed and there is an appetite

42:50 and there's there's a willingness like and also people want to take a bet.

42:54 They're willing to be like, "Yeah, go on then,

42:56 kiddo." Like, "Go for it." You know,

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44:51 Second half of 2025.

44:53 All rights reserved.

44:55 for someone watching or listening that might have come

44:57 from a similar environment where they didn't have the opportunities,

45:01 they didn't have the educational side of things, they didn't have the resources.

45:06 What's a limiting thought around money that is

45:09 holding them back from what they can create financially?

45:12 Well, the first thing is to think that you need a lot of money to do anything.

45:16 M I think that we've got ourselves

45:18 into a really dangerous position when we feel like

45:22 the only businesses and the only ideas

45:24 that are valid are billiondoll unicornsized and shaped ones.

45:29 Right?

45:29 I have a lot of friends and a lot

45:31 of people around me that do incredible businesses.

45:35 Incredible because they afford them a lifestyle.

45:37 They can hire people from their community.

45:40 They're little and lovely with four employees or with 40 employees.

45:43 There's a lot of different ways to do businesses and to have a business.

45:48 And so I would think about is are the limitations real or are

45:52 you putting them on yourself before you get out of the gate?

45:54 And that's something that requires

45:56 an enormous amount of self-reflection and honesty.

45:58 So you have to get out of your own way.

46:01 And what happens is that people really live in their heads.

46:04 You got to make sure that your biggest

46:05 enemy isn't between your own two ears, right?

46:08 You have to say to yourself, "Okay, wait a minute.

46:10 maybe this thing I have these giant aspirations

46:13 but you got to get out of the gate.

46:15 You got to get off your desktop, out of your head and do something.

46:19 And it also you've got to understand that life comes in seasons.

46:23 There are moments like you don't need everything to happen to you right away.

46:27 You don't need it to be the biggest thing.

46:29 You might do something, it goes completely pear-shaped.

46:32 There's another opportunity and another one and another one.

46:34 So I want people to understand that actually you just got to do the thing.

46:39 Have a go.

46:40 get out of your own way and within that you

46:43 can test and change and figure things out and learn.

46:46 Like that's the beauty of business.

46:49 Everything transitions, right?

46:51 Like people imagine that you're going to start a company and that's what it is.

46:54 The truth is Good American looks nothing like it did in the beginning, right?

47:00 Your principles, your reason for being, the problem that you solved,

47:05 your uh purpose, all of that stays the same.

47:08 everything else transitions on the way up.

47:10 So, you have to know that you're going to start with this thing

47:14 and that it's going to change and shift and you're going to change and shift,

47:17 but you got to start.

47:18 That's it.

47:19 What is the thing in your life that you feel like needs a shift?

47:22 There could be a different balance.

47:25 You know what what happens is that um and when I say balance,

47:29 I mean I have been an owner and an operator for what am I?

47:36 I'm 43 years old.

47:38 It's like 20 years, right?

47:41 That's how long we're both 43.

47:43 We What a lovely age.

47:44 And glorious, by the way.

47:46 Um, you know, I've been saying to everyone throughout

47:48 my whole um press run around this book that I'm 42.

47:52 And I did an interview at home the other day.

47:54 My husband was like, "You're when's your birthday?" September 23rd.

47:58 Like, I'm going to be 44.

47:59 I'm not even 43 for that much longer.

48:01 He was like, "Just so you know." I was like,

48:03 "Oh my god, people are going to think I'm lying about my age.

48:05 I'm 43.

48:06 I'm 43.

48:06 I'm 43.

48:07 Um, but your question I um

48:10 the balance the Yeah.

48:11 So, so I think that as your kids get older,

48:15 they require and this is a crazy thing because

48:17 you imagine that they need you when they're babies, right?

48:19 You have these two little precious five-month-old kids

48:22 and you know there's so much that pours into them,

48:24 but actually as they get older they understand things in a different way.

48:28 And so I'm trying to make sure that I get that right,

48:32 that I get like that I can be around

48:34 for the things that are important to my kids,

48:36 not all the things that happen cuz that's not possible,

48:39 but that I can be where I need to be for them and fulfilling my own needs.

48:45 And so it's really just making sure that as my life changes that I'm part of the

48:51 the design changes.

48:52 Do you know what I mean?

48:53 That I am being purposeful and thinking like what is the shape of that?

48:56 What does it need?

48:57 You can't keep doing what you did, you know,

48:59 while you were launching and building this business at the next season

49:01 with your with your kids is what I'm hearing 200% for the longest time.

49:07 And you know, I'm really lucky because a lot

49:09 of what I do isn't in the startup phase now.

49:12 But that is a choice, right?

49:13 You can choose to stay with that mentality or you can choose

49:18 to hire a CEO or a president and shift and change your role.

49:23 And I think again there are seasons,

49:25 there are moments where I've been 200% allin, tunnel focused.

49:30 And there are moments where I've said, you know what, I've just had a baby.

49:33 I'm going to take a minute.

49:35 I'm going to outsource some of this stuff.

49:36 And there's other moments where I have to lean in.

49:38 But I want that to be my choice.

49:40 I don't want that to be dictated to me.

49:41 And so I try to make sure that I'm really mindful and understanding of that.

49:46 Did you I mean I can only imagine the the complexities

49:49 of being a driven business leader while having kids.

49:55 I can only imagine

49:57 the potential maybe judgment but also praise that you might have

50:02 had over the last decade of like wow you had four kids

50:04 and you launched all these billion dollar brands like and people

50:08 either praising you or maybe judging you for what they don't know.

50:11 How did you deal with that judgment of people saying,

50:14 "Well, was she really, you know,

50:15 if she's 200% here in her business, is she really there in her family?" Like,

50:20 how did you navigate that internally?

50:22 I think that I've learned as I got older that I it's,

50:28 you know, like it's just me against me at the end of the day.

50:32 like I really tune it out and I am

50:34 one of those people that don't really let like

50:38 you know it's like everybody's gonna have their point

50:40 of view and you know you've got other parents

50:43 at the school and people that you work

50:45 with and that's why like I'm very clear about what type

50:48 of mother I intend to be like what is really

50:52 important to me like I like the kind of like

50:55 I like to wake my kids up in the morning and I really like to put them to bed

51:00 I don't take them to school every day.

51:02 I don't make their lunches.

51:04 I don't I'm not at the school gates to collect them.

51:07 I don't get to every event.

51:08 If it's a thing that's really important to them, if they're racing,

51:11 if they're in a play, if they're like, then I am there.

51:14 But it's like

51:15 that's okay by me because I have

51:17 my things and I'm only measuring myself against that.

51:21 Everything else can just kind of drown out.

51:23 And I do try to talk a lot about this idea of tradeoffs because people imagine,

51:29 yeah, you're trading off stuff you don't want to do.

51:31 No, the trade-offs are always things that you really want to do.

51:34 So, you have to choose your life sacrifice, right?

51:36 It's it's a and it's a huge sacrifice.

51:39 And so, again, that's why I like to think about my life in these seasons

51:43 because I think there's a time and a place for me to be allin.

51:46 There's a time and a place where it's like I'm going to be in lockdown.

51:49 I'm not going to speak and see my friends as much as I want to.

51:52 That's the reality, right?

51:53 Something's got to give and it's usually not going to be my kids.

51:56 So, there's other places of sacrifice.

51:59 Um, but I think so long as you choose

52:01 them and you're not impacted by other people's opinions.

52:04 I mean, maybe this is was your British

52:06 upbringing of having kind of thicker skin,

52:08 but how did you learn to not focus on criticism in business,

52:13 success or failure, personal life, whatever it might be.

52:16 It's not useful.

52:17 It's not useful.

52:18 It doesn't serve me, you know,

52:19 like I am not when I say I'm not a people pleaser,

52:23 it's like I'm missing the gene.

52:25 Like I don't care if you liked it.

52:27 Like do you know what I Like in in a in a way I'm

52:30 like I really am so I mean the book is called Start with Yourself.

52:34 Like do you know what I mean?

52:35 But the first interview I did about the book was this wonderful woman.

52:38 She said, "Emma, I can't believe I opened the family chapter

52:41 and it starts with you." I'm like that is so me.

52:44 Like I didn't even think about that.

52:46 But that's how I think.

52:47 Like I am right at the top of my list because

52:49 if I'm not good then no one around me is good.

52:52 And I know that feels difficult to hear from a mother of four,

52:56 but it's really the truth.

52:57 And I believe that like I believe that I can live up to exactly

53:02 the type of woman that I want to be and I can be a good mom.

53:06 I believe that I can, you know,

53:08 do deeply meaningful and impactful work and make a load of money doing it.

53:13 Like I don't think it needs to be either or.

53:15 That's right.

53:16 I write a whole chapter.

53:17 It's both and you make those decisions for yourself.

53:20 Don't be thinking about what everybody else has

53:23 got to say because it will never please you.

53:25 And here's the thing.

53:26 Nobody's watching you.

53:28 You know this.

53:29 Like nobody's thinking about you as much as you're thinking about you.

53:32 So you've got to kind of sit back and go, it's totally fine.

53:36 No, like

53:38 I'm good with me and as long as you're good with you and you can

53:41 lay your head down on the pillow at night and be like, you know what?

53:44 I feel really good about the decisions I made.

53:46 I feel really pleased with the type of person I am.

53:49 Like what else matters?

53:51 Yeah.

53:50 I'm not watching for other people.

53:52 If you could bottle up that, you know,

53:53 gene or lack of gene and sell it, that's that's your next billion.

53:57 That is the idea.

53:59 [laughter]

53:59 Most people,

53:59 we need an Emma peptide.

54:01 Most people are so worried about the opinions of others.

54:03 They're so worried about the one negative comment or one

54:06 negative review rather than the hundreds of positive ones or thousands.

54:11 Yeah.

54:10 That it cripples them and to focus on that one

54:13 thing where it sounds like you don't have that.

54:15 I just don't think it's useful.

54:17 Yeah.

54:17 And I try to focus on the things that are moving me forward.

54:19 You know, I always get these questions of how do you do all of these things?

54:22 How do you have the businesses?

54:24 How do you know have kids?

54:25 Are you a good wife?

54:26 And I'm just like, how do I do that?

54:28 Like, I have a [laughter] set of goals and I say

54:31 no to everything that isn't getting me closer to those goals.

54:35 That's it.

54:36 I have a set of things I want to do

54:37 with my kids and I say no to everything else.

54:40 Like, it isn't that difficult.

54:41 We made it difficult.

54:43 We also have kind of like got into this space

54:45 and place right now where parenting has gone completely mad.

54:49 Parenting didn't get harder.

54:50 The expectations of parenting got harder.

54:52 You know, back in like when I was a kid,

54:55 if we had fresh milk and an apple in the house,

54:57 my mom was like, "Job done." You know, like they'll survive.

55:01 Now, we have to watch every ingredient.

55:03 We have to monitor every friendship.

55:05 We have to understand how our kids are thinking and feeling and playing

55:08 and have we got the right developmental toys for the stage that they're at.

55:11 Like, it's Do you know what it's so much crap as a kid?

55:15 And I turned out like it's not that deep.

55:17 Do I think that your kids should sit and be, you know, like raised by the iPad?

55:22 No, I don't.

55:22 But at the end of the day,

55:24 when we've turned parenting into a another part of our ambition,

55:28 that's failure to me, right?

55:30 My kids need a mom who loves them.

55:32 They need someone they can rely on.

55:33 They need somebody that can give them like a big lovely cuddle.

55:37 And they need like attention and presence from me for about 15 minutes a day.

55:42 There are four of them.

55:44 Then it's over.

55:44 Then they're moving on.

55:45 They're bored.

55:46 They're thinking about something else.

55:47 they're on to the next one.

55:48 And that has to be okay because the spin that we've

55:51 got ourselves in and this idea that we're constantly failing.

55:54 Like that's about as useful as the people pleasing stuff.

55:57 Don't do it.

55:57 Don't do it to yourself.

55:58 I love that you said your friend opened

56:00 up the book to the uh the parenting part.

56:01 It started with you.

56:02 The book is called Start with Yourself.

56:04 And also you end the book with your starting with yourself,

56:07 which I loved I love when you reference to Snoop

56:10 Dogg because [laughter] I love that video when he got me.

56:15 It's the greatest.

56:15 I feel like In some ways, someone could look at that and look at it

56:18 as an egotistical approach, but I was like,

56:21 man, giving yourself permission to acknowledge all the hard work

56:24 that you do or you do or someone does to create that.

56:28 Yes, you can thank the people that supported you,

56:30 but you're the one who had to live with you

56:32 all day long and show up and do all those reps.

56:35 100%.

56:35 And here here's what I know that I have I'm such a team player, right?

56:39 I really do look at myself as like I'm the coach.

56:42 It ain't my job to get in the middle of the game and go and score the goal,

56:46 but it's like I'm gonna be the best I can be for all of my people.

56:49 And leadership is what I happen to be very good at, right?

56:53 It's like that's I am really good at building a strategy

56:56 and bringing everybody along on the ride and saying, "Here's the vision.

57:01 Here's how we're going to do it and everybody come with me.

57:03 Here are the parts that you guys should play." I have to be a great team player,

57:07 but I don't imagine for one second because I don't know everybody's

57:12 little piece of the pie that I shouldn't be the one in charge.

57:14 Not for a second.

57:15 I'm like, I'm the leader.

57:16 I'm the one who's doing this thing.

57:18 And so, it's just I have a great

57:20 appreciation for everybody else and the role they play.

57:22 I just also have that for myself.

57:24 Yeah, that's great.

57:25 Now, I'm curious, Emma, do you feel like you were destined to be wealthy?

57:29 I mean, it would have been a hard life to live

57:33 in the way that I wanted to if I wasn't.

57:35 Let's be fair.

57:36 I think I didn't enjoy being poor.

57:42 I remember of time when all I wanted was to um

57:47 order something from the menu and not look at the price.

57:50 You know, like that feeling.

57:51 I just wanted to be able to like 100%.

57:54 I'll have the burger and the fuagra [laughter] and a glass of champagne, please.

57:58 and not worry.

58:00 Um, and that took a really long time.

58:02 I think that I was destined to I was destined

58:06 to be successful and I have always been focused on making money.

58:12 Yes, I always put money in the center of my plans.

58:16 I never imagined it would find me because

58:18 I didn't know anybody that that happened to.

58:20 And I never was shy about asking for what I am worth

58:23 because I have audacity and I have a work ethic that matches it.

58:27 And so I wasn't expecting anyone to come to me and be like,

58:30 "Here you go, dear." But by the same token,

58:32 I was like, "If I work like this, you better

58:34 be ready to pay me." Do you know what I mean?

58:36 I was like, "And I'm going to take it." So that was the conundrum.

58:39 Like I really thought about money in that way.

58:41 I was like, "Effort in, product out, correlation.

58:44 Like I'm going to like find the money."

58:46 If you don't make money at the center of your work, what will happen to you?

58:52 Well, it avoids you, right?

58:54 And and and again, this happens.

58:56 You know, I I have a husband who's in business and he sits on the phone

59:00 to his guys and they chat and they tell each other like what, you know,

59:04 they're investing in and what money they're putting in the market

59:08 and what crypto thing to do and how they

59:10 paid this lawyer and this like deal that they did

59:12 to structure for the house before they had the money.

59:14 And I'm literally sitting there going,

59:16 I haven't had one of those calls with any of my girlfriends.

59:19 Why not?

59:20 Because still there is some stigma attached to the way

59:23 that we think about money and somehow it's like ew.

59:27 Like she's gross.

59:28 She said money like 20 times.

59:30 I I write in the book that I did um

59:32 a panel and this wonderful incredible woman said to me,

59:36 Emma, darling, it you really speak about money too much.

59:39 And I was like, but the name of the panel is women power and money.

59:43 [laughter] What are you talking about?

59:45 you know, and so I don't think that we

59:47 should avoid subjects when that's exactly what we want, right?

59:51 I think that we have to put ourselves in line to get what we're owed.

59:57 And I don't expect that anybody is coming to save me,

1:00:00 that anybody's going to pluck me from obscurity and go,

1:00:03 "Here's the thing that you want." It never happened to me like that.

1:00:06 So, if you don't ask, you don't get 100%.

1:00:08 Wow.

1:00:09 Do you feel like I was asking you beforehand off camera, I said, um,

1:00:14 do you feel like your last name supported your destiny for having,

1:00:19 you know, greed is your last name?

1:00:20 Do you feel like words have intentions that set us up for a future destiny?

1:00:26 Like you were eventually going to earn more?

1:00:30 It's a it's a really funny question because when I um

1:00:35 when I met my husband and my mom said you know

1:00:37 how do you pronounce his surname because I took his name

1:00:41 um and I told her and she said well of course you

1:00:44 were destined for that name and I thought she kind of said

1:00:46 it in a derogatory way and I was like I just

1:00:49 thought it really suited me like it was [laughter] I was

1:00:51 like I'm going to get a t-shirt you know like the Mr.

1:00:53 Men Mrs.

1:00:54 Greedy like I felt totally at ease and comfortable with it.

1:00:56 Um, you know, I still feel like that feels like his name

1:01:01 and I've taken that name and that is our family name.

1:01:04 I'd have been successful if you'd have called me Emma Poor.

1:01:06 Do you know what I mean?

1:01:07 Like I it was always going to work out for me.

1:01:10 That's how I feel.

1:01:11 Really?

1:01:13 Yeah.

1:01:12 But do you feel like anything shifted with taking

1:01:16 that on and like embodying that word or either way?

1:01:19 because I've been a poor kid in you know

1:01:24 plasto which you know so I went back there

1:01:28 two weeks ago and if you see these photos it is so gray and so grim and so

1:01:34 especially in the winter too it's so bad and you know even there I was like

1:01:41 this is not where I'm supposed to be this is not for me

1:01:44 I felt not special I felt like this is just not my end.

1:01:52 This is not where I'm supposed to be.

1:01:54 And to the contrary, when I got a job and went into, you know,

1:01:57 into the center of London and worked on South Molton Street,

1:02:01 I felt like I had arrived.

1:02:03 I was like, "Oh, like these people are more interesting and this place

1:02:08 is much more beautiful." And I would go into, you know, in England,

1:02:11 we're full of galleries and I would go into galleries

1:02:13 and I would go to museums and I thought,

1:02:15 "This feels much more like what I wanted, your environment." Yeah.

1:02:21 Yeah.

1:02:21 And and again, never ever feeling like I was better than anyone,

1:02:25 but better than my situation, for sure.

1:02:27 And and just a willingness to to do whatever it would take.

1:02:31 You know, I feel like I've spent my whole life with my hand up.

1:02:34 You know, I always whenever I speak to people and they say, "Emma, how can I,

1:02:38 you know, how can I get ahead in my job?" I'm like, "Just have your hand up.

1:02:41 Tell I'll do that.

1:02:42 I'll do that." I did everything.

1:02:43 I worked such miserable,

1:02:46 unsatisfactory jobs for ages cuz I was just like, "I'll do it.

1:02:51 What do you need?

1:02:52 I'll go.

1:02:52 Please, may I?" like all the time because I was sure that if I could

1:02:57 just be excellent and show people that I

1:03:00 was excellent that somebody would find me,

1:03:02 that somebody would recognize that there was a skill.

1:03:05 And guess what?

1:03:06 It totally works.

1:03:07 Because when I'm looking at people in my business right now,

1:03:10 I'm like, look at that person being excellent.

1:03:13 The way she packs up the boxes and puts every

1:03:16 bit of tissue so nice and writes notes like beautifully.

1:03:19 I'm like, that's an excellent person.

1:03:22 That's somebody who takes pride in what they do.

1:03:24 Like people notice when you do that 100%.

1:03:28 They really do.

1:03:28 And they notice it in every way.

1:03:30 And so I really believe that if you apply yourself and if you

1:03:35 work really hard and if you don't try to make it a secret,

1:03:38 great stuff is going to happen.

1:03:40 If you try to make what not a secret

1:03:42 that you're up for it, that you want more that you're ready to work hard.

1:03:46 But I again, it's like and I'm willing to do what it takes.

1:03:48 I want you to be with your hand up.

1:03:50 I don't want to have to come and find you out of 500 people.

1:03:54 And that's why I talk so much about, you know, proximity and visibility.

1:03:58 I need you there, right in the office where I can see you, where you can see me,

1:04:02 where you can see how I move,

1:04:03 where you understand the flow of the business and what we're doing here.

1:04:07 I don't want you on a Zoom call.

1:04:08 I'm uninterested like entirely.

1:04:10 And again, people are like, "Oh, but Emma, you're a woman and a mom,

1:04:14 so surely you understand flexibility." Of course I do.

1:04:17 Of course I understand that.

1:04:19 But surely you understand that if you're

1:04:22 really ambitious and you want a great career,

1:04:24 visibility and proximity is essential.

1:04:26 It's not a nice to have.

1:04:28 It's just essential.

1:04:30 Yes.

1:04:29 Let's not set people up for, you know, failure.

1:04:33 It's like just be honest about what is needed.

1:04:35 You want a pay rise?

1:04:35 I need to see you like in the office.

1:04:39 I like I like the attitude.

1:04:41 There's no other way.

1:04:42 I love the attitude.

1:04:43 What is I got a few final questions for you.

1:04:45 I'm Love your questions.

1:04:46 Thank you very much.

1:04:47 What is one question you wish more people asked you?

1:04:52 Like the reality of what it takes because I feel like, you know,

1:04:56 what does it really take?

1:04:57 Oh, it takes like you got to be resilient.

1:05:00 I know that that gets chucked around in podcast land so much,

1:05:04 but what does it mean to be resilient?

1:05:06 Like taking a lot of knockbacks, taking a lot of information that rightly

1:05:13 or wrongly is going to be leveled at you.

1:05:16 And it comes from all places, you know.

1:05:18 It comes on a board level,

1:05:20 on an investor level, from your customers, from your colleagues.

1:05:23 Like, you have to absorb a lot of stuff and you have to go forward anyway.

1:05:29 You have to do it anyway.

1:05:31 And it's every day that I have resistance.

1:05:35 All places, everywhere.

1:05:36 Nobody calls me and says, "Guess what's happening today?

1:05:39 We're selling out.

1:05:40 It's going amazing." Nobody.

1:05:42 Nobody ever.

1:05:43 I only have problems.

1:05:44 My day is a series of problems morning to night and you have to get with that.

1:05:48 And so I wish people could understand like the reality of my life

1:05:53 and how complex it is and how nuanced it is and how many hoops

1:05:57 I have to jump through and how heavy it can be sometimes because

1:06:02 when you have that responsibility like that's

1:06:05 your responsibility that's yours to deal with.

1:06:08 I can't outsource my work.

1:06:09 I can't go could you not do it?

1:06:11 [laughter] It doesn't work like that.

1:06:13 the buck stops with me.

1:06:15 And so I I often, you know, and and I try to be really honest about this.

1:06:20 I try not to sugarcoat it.

1:06:21 And so much in the book,

1:06:22 I had a level of honesty throughout about all the mistakes

1:06:26 and all the things that I could have done differently

1:06:29 and a level of let's just like get real with this because

1:06:34 it isn't how we're presenting it to be right now.

1:06:36 How do you navigate the heaviness and the weight

1:06:39 of all the responsibility that you have?

1:06:42 I guess I kind of juxtapose it with all

1:06:43 the stuff that I've got as a result of it,

1:06:46 you know, and I don't just mean like the the, you know, a house or a car.

1:06:51 I'm like, wow, what choice I have, you know?

1:06:54 I get up really early in the morning, but that's a choice.

1:06:57 I really love what I do.

1:06:59 You know, I really love the work.

1:07:00 I really enjoy like working with products and solving problems,

1:07:06 and I love being around people.

1:07:07 is like you put me in a proto review meeting with 60

1:07:11 people around and trying to figure out what a season's collection looks like.

1:07:15 That's me in my element.

1:07:16 That's to me the single best job that you could have in the world.

1:07:21 And I really appreciate that so much because where I grew up,

1:07:26 people just went to work to pay their bills

1:07:30 and they did mostly unenjoyable work and they got to 5:00 and they were like,

1:07:34 "Let me get out of here." And they went to the bar, right?

1:07:36 Like that's what they did.

1:07:37 That was the flow of their day.

1:07:39 And I'm like my day is I am so lucky.

1:07:43 It's an adventure.

1:07:44 It's it's it's it's a privilege and an adventure.

1:07:47 And I don't take one single thing for granted.

1:07:50 Like not like I opened my fridge this morning and I was like imagine when I

1:07:53 was little or if you had a fridge with all those drinks in there that's great.

1:07:56 And I'm fully having that conversation with me myself like fully.

1:08:00 M so to me it's like I'm so aware of everything that has happened

1:08:07 and you know I always think of this funny story cuz I'm obsessed.

1:08:11 I love comedy and when I was younger

1:08:14 I used to always watch Dave Chappelle and um

1:08:16 and Chris Rock and Chris has this thing where he talks about like when he gets

1:08:20 his first big house and he uh keeps the bag packed at the door cuz he imagines

1:08:24 one day someone's going to be like knock

1:08:26 knock knock you're out and that's how I feel.

1:08:29 I'm like waiting for someone to say, "This is not your life, girl.

1:08:32 Are you crazy?" Like, "Go back." So,

1:08:36 there's an there's a constant like thing for me to always be like,

1:08:40 "Okay, I'm not going to rest on my laurels.

1:08:41 If I get an opportunity, I'm going for it.

1:08:44 If I have [clears throat] uh somebody saying to me,

1:08:47 Emma, have you looked at this?

1:08:48 Is this possible?" Like,

1:08:49 I'm going to go all in because I imagine that all of it can be lost in a second.

1:08:56 Really?

1:08:55 Oh, yes.

1:08:56 Oh, yes.

1:08:56 Yes.

1:08:56 Do you feel like you've made it?

1:08:58 In so many ways I have.

1:09:00 Um because I'm so happy and I'm so like I'm very

1:09:04 aware that I am living the single best moment of my life.

1:09:08 Like I don't get happier than now.

1:09:10 I don't get better looking than now.

1:09:11 I don't get fitter than now.

1:09:13 Like in fact I'm on my way out.

1:09:14 Like it's it's all downhill.

1:09:16 Um but I I I really have an awareness about that.

1:09:19 And so when I think of, you know,

1:09:21 it's like I take a long time off in the summer,

1:09:23 like real Euro style, you know, it's like I go away month, whatever.

1:09:26 Yeah.

1:09:27 Weeks, I go to Europe and I like, you know,

1:09:29 I really go in because to me like that time you can't get back.

1:09:35 Those summers you can't get back.

1:09:36 My kids are only going to be little for so long.

1:09:38 And so I really try to put a lot in and I'm like a memory maker.

1:09:43 I am crazy.

1:09:44 I will celebrate everything.

1:09:46 Easter, Thanksgiving, Halloween, Christmas.

1:09:48 I love America because you're always celebrating something.

1:09:50 Like I didn't even know what Thanksgiving was 10 years ago.

1:09:53 Now you're doing it.

1:09:54 Let's go.

1:09:54 Christmas practice.

1:09:55 Like I'm like, let's go.

1:09:56 Let's do turkey number one.

1:09:58 But you know, it's like I'm and I do it big.

1:10:00 I go all in and I make the celebration cuz I know that life is so precious

1:10:06 and I'm so excited about it and I am

1:10:08 just like here for like every single bit of it.

1:10:11 So, as much as I love the work

1:10:14 and the and the chase and the and the whole thing,

1:10:17 I'm very um I'm very mindful that I also need

1:10:21 to really enjoy it and there's an awareness of that.

1:10:24 It's a both end like you talk about both and all day long.

1:10:28 Two final [clears throat] questions for you, Emma.

1:10:29 Again, this has been really inspiring and powerful.

1:10:31 So, thank you for opening up and sharing.

1:10:32 Your book is called Start with Yourself: A New Vision for Work and Life.

1:10:36 Make sure you don't only get one copy, but get at least two.

1:10:40 One for you and one for a friend.

1:10:41 give a gift away.

1:10:43 Uh because something you mentioned earlier made me think

1:10:47 about when I started making money for many years,

1:10:51 a lot of people had to buy my meals.

1:10:53 And I remember the first time because you mentioned like

1:10:55 the first time you could like not look at the price.

1:10:57 Oh yeah.

1:10:58 And then you just say, "I'm I want this whatever $50 steak or $100 thing,

1:11:01 whatever." And be like, "And I'm okay and I'm not going to go broke."

1:11:05 I remember the first time I could pay for a friend's meal.

1:11:10 Wow.

1:11:10 And the feeling it gave me of like I'm safe,

1:11:13 like I'm going to be okay and I'm not going

1:11:15 to be broke when for years people had to buy my meals.

1:11:18 And it felt very shameful when I was

1:11:20 in my mid20s and I couldn't pay for my own meals.

1:11:22 Oh yeah.

1:11:23 And so I want to acknowledge you for the journey you've

1:11:26 been on for all the things you have had to overcome.

1:11:31 Even though I know you said like you

1:11:33 knew from the beginning and everything was fine,

1:11:35 I still know that there must have been there was anger for a reason.

1:11:39 Yeah, there was a lot of anger for a lot

1:11:41 of reasons that I know you talk about in the book,

1:11:43 but also that you're probably still unpacking in your own

1:11:46 life and you don't need to share it all here,

1:11:48 but I want to acknowledge you for finding some peace in your heart

1:11:52 because I think you with peace is better you with anger.

1:11:56 Oh, God.

1:11:57 And I think if you with a level of anger could have created what you've created,

1:12:02 I can only imagine what you with all love can do in the world.

1:12:06 Can you imagine?

1:12:07 And so I really acknowledge you for the journey you're on.

1:12:10 We're all on a healing journey forever.

1:12:12 You know, it's going to take time for me, you, everyone.

1:12:15 But I'm so excited to see you in three,

1:12:18 five, seven, 10 years with love continued to be added.

1:12:22 Not that it wasn't as well, but at a whole different level of your life.

1:12:27 [snorts] And I'm just so excited for the difference that you've made

1:12:32 and you will continue to make with that intention living in your heart.

1:12:36 So, I hope people get the Yeah, you're welcome.

1:12:38 Had such a lovely thing to say.

1:12:40 You're welcome.

1:12:41 Me, too, by the way.

1:12:42 Yeah.

1:12:43 [laughter]

1:12:44 Because again, I was driven by I was driven by anger, frustration, you know,

1:12:48 whatever it was, not feeling good enough, all those things to go achieve.

1:12:51 And I did it.

1:12:52 Yeah.

1:12:52 But then I was like, "Oh, but I still don't feel good with me.

1:12:54 Why is there still anger in me or why?"

1:12:56 And then I started to shift and started to do the healing work.

1:12:58 And it's like, "Oh, look what I can create with more love, right?"

1:13:01 You know, it's not that I don't have some of that in me still.

1:13:04 No.

1:13:04 And you need that little bit in you that you have to transform.

1:13:07 Yeah, exactly.

1:13:08 So, I acknowledge you for that.

1:13:09 It's pretty cool.

1:13:10 People can get your book.

1:13:11 Uh, start with yourself.

1:13:13 They can go to your Instagram.

1:13:14 You've been creating a lot more content, your podcast as well.

1:13:17 Thank you.

1:13:18 Uh, emagged.com.

1:13:19 That's greed.com as well.

1:13:22 This is a question I ask everyone at the end.

1:13:24 It's called the three truths.

1:13:25 So, imagine a hypothetical scenario.

1:13:27 You get to live as long as you want,

1:13:29 but then it's the last day on this earth for you.

1:13:31 O.

1:13:32 And [snorts] in this hypothetical scenario,

1:13:35 you create all of your wildest dreams.

1:13:36 All the memories happen.

1:13:38 Life, it all works the way you want it.

1:13:40 But on the last day, for whatever reason,

1:13:42 you have to take all of your work with you.

1:13:44 This book, this conversation, everything you shared in the world,

1:13:47 it's got to go with you to the next place.

1:13:50 So, we don't have access to your content anymore.

1:13:52 But on the final day, you get to leave behind three lessons.

1:13:55 I call it the three truths.

1:13:57 What would those three truths be for you?

1:13:59 I think the first one has to be about who you surround yourself with

1:14:07 because I was um so lucky that I had

1:14:08 such a incredible family unit coming up and I've

1:14:13 seen what that has meant and and the sort

1:14:16 of stabilizing factor that that had in my life.

1:14:20 I felt so loved as a kid.

1:14:22 I didn't have much.

1:14:23 We didn't have a lot to go around,

1:14:26 but it's like there was never a question of whether or not I was loved.

1:14:30 And so the big truth would be that, you know,

1:14:34 how important family is and to love one another and to lead with love.

1:14:40 Like that was just, you know, and I was I can't remember who I was listening to.

1:14:46 It might have been Oprah recently who said

1:14:48 I nobody ever told her that they loved her.

1:14:51 I was like, "Wow." I was told every day,

1:14:55 like every family member in my, you know, they kiss you on the lips,

1:14:58 like it or not, and they tell you

1:14:59 that they love you and they mean they love you.

1:15:02 And I always felt that, and I do the same with my kids every day.

1:15:06 That's beautiful.

1:15:06 So, that would be the first thing.

1:15:07 That's beautiful.

1:15:08 I think the second thing, the truth is that, and I'm learning

1:15:14 this and continue to learn this as I get older,

1:15:17 but I have a great friend, um, Don von Fussenber, and she says,

1:15:21 "The most important relationship you'll ever have

1:15:23 is the relationship you have with yourself." M

1:15:26 and I take that so seriously like how I speak to myself,

1:15:31 how I treat myself, how I think about me and my needs, my wants, my abilities.

1:15:39 And as you get older, getting close to yourself is so important.

1:15:44 Mhm.

1:15:46 And I think that the more of that that I'm doing, you know, I'm not religious.

1:15:51 I have a spiritual practice, but like really getting close to myself

1:15:56 and understanding myself is like probably my best investment.

1:16:00 It's beautiful.

1:16:00 Yeah.

1:16:01 The last thing, the last truth is maybe

1:16:06 that your work isn't what you think it is.

1:16:09 you know, this idea of self- fulfillment.

1:16:12 Like I do a lot of nonprofit work and I'm on the board of the Obama Foundation.

1:16:17 I'm on the board of an incredible organization called Babyto Baby.

1:16:21 And when I think about the sum of my work, not just in the businesses,

1:16:26 but the full sum of it and what I'm able to do,

1:16:29 and I would never be able to do those what I do

1:16:31 in nonprofit world had I not had the commercial reality of my businesses,

1:16:35 but the full sum of my work has been

1:16:37 so important that you have to choose really carefully

1:16:43 where you put your energy as it pertains to your work.

1:16:45 And that's a real truth because I could just

1:16:47 keep going and going and be thinking about me.

1:16:50 And so much of what I'm doing between my podcast

1:16:53 and the book is actually about creating a blueprint and a new model

1:17:00 for people outside me.

1:17:02 Like I didn't write the book because

1:17:04 I thought people care particularly much about

1:17:08 what it is that I've done and how I've become successful.

1:17:10 I think people want to understand how they can be successful themsel.

1:17:14 And so I think about your work and your energy as being so

1:17:18 important and how you use that is like such a big thing for me.

1:17:22 So I would be really mindful about how you

1:17:26 use your precious energy as it pertains to your output.

1:17:30 Amen.

1:17:30 Final question for you.

1:17:32 Again, make sure you guys grab a copy.

1:17:33 Start with yourself right now.

1:17:35 The final question, Emma, what's your definition of greatness?

1:17:38 My definition of greatness, it has to be, I guess,

1:17:43 self fulfillment because I think at the end of the day,

1:17:45 that's what we're all here to do.

1:17:48 Yeah.

1:17:47 Right.

1:17:47 We're here to live up to our highest potential

1:17:51 and I think that that is what I'm trying to do.

1:17:54 It's what I'm on a journey for.

1:17:56 And I think that that's greatness.

1:17:59 Thanks for being here.

1:18:00 Appreciate it.

1:18:00 Thank you, my dear.

1:18:01 [music] What a pleasure.

1:18:02 The one thing that I feel like has helped

1:18:04 me the most is to um be kind to myself.

1:18:07 [music] So I realized that as a mother I when I became

1:18:11 a mom I spent a lot of mental energy beating myself up like [music]

1:18:16 feeling so guilty and when I was working I was beating myself up

1:18:19 that I wasn't with the kids and mentally and when I was with the