i baked myself a cake so i wouldn't cry on my birthday

0:01 [Music] Come here.

0:33 There we go.

0:34 It's my birthday tomorrow.

0:36 And I've been known to cry on my birthday.

0:38 I feel like every year on my birthday, I have a depressive episode.

0:43 And I'm not being dramatic.

0:44 I'm not just throwing around the term depressive episode.

0:47 Like, I fully have a depressive episode.

0:49 I I wouldn't say that that happens every single year,

0:52 but it's probably happened for like 10 of my birthdays.

0:55 I don't know.

0:55 There's something about my birthday that just makes me depressed.

0:58 It makes me depressed.

0:59 It makes me uncomfortable because I shockingly

1:02 don't like being the center of attention.

1:04 I don't like when people go out of their way for me.

1:06 Like I can't remember the last time I had a birthday

1:08 party because the thought of people clearing their calendar for me.

1:13 The thought of people getting an invite

1:15 to my birthday party and being like, "Gh,

1:16 I don't really want to go to this, but I guess I'll go cuz

1:18 like I need to be nice." The thought of that I just can't handle.

1:21 And so I'd rather just not have a birthday party.

1:23 I can barely even remember the last time I did anything fun on my birthday.

1:26 I really don't celebrate my birthday.

1:29 It's just not my thing.

1:30 But to be honest, I'm sick of it.

1:31 I really want to enjoy my birthday this year.

1:33 And listen, I'm not throwing a party or anything.

1:35 I don't even really know what I'm doing tomorrow to celebrate,

1:38 but I just don't want to be depressed tomorrow.

1:40 I don't want to experience the existential

1:42 dread that I normally experience on my birthday.

1:45 So, I'm really trying to start it off on the right foot.

1:47 And today, my birthday eve, I thought it would be a positive,

1:52 uplifting activity for me, to make myself a [Music] cake.

2:04 Uh, let's make a plan.

2:07 First, we need to figure out flavor profile.

2:10 Let's think.

2:11 Almond, like almond extract, that type of stuff.

2:15 I like lemon.

2:16 I like vanilla.

2:17 Actually do like peanut butter.

2:19 What else?

2:19 I like berry flavored stuff.

2:22 What are like cake flavors?

2:24 I guess I like chocolate.

2:27 I'm not like No.

2:28 Yeah, I like chocolate.

2:30 I'm not like obsessed with chocolate though.

2:31 Like I'd rather do something more vanilla.

2:33 Okay, I'm crossing this out.

2:34 I don't want that.

2:35 I also don't really want to do peanut butter.

2:36 I'm more in this world.

2:38 Okay.

2:38 Well, this is actually kind of great.

2:39 These flavors all go together.

2:41 Like I could do a lemon berry cake with almond vanilla frosting.

2:45 I could do a lemon almond cake with vanilla berry frosting.

2:48 So, okay, we're I feel good about flavor.

2:50 Now, we need to discuss design.

2:52 What is this cake going to look like on the inside?

2:55 Okay, I think we're going to do cake frosting cake.

2:58 Now, the question is, do I do a three layer cake or a two layer cake?

3:02 Uh, I say it and do a three layer cake.

3:05 Kind of fun, but that's a lot of cake.

3:07 Three layer is so much more impressive.

3:09 Actually, I'll do three layer cake.

3:10 Frosting and then cake.

3:12 Now on the outside we have more frosting.

3:15 I honestly think for the cake maybe maybe like lemon almond.

3:19 And then I think the frosting on the inside should be vanilla berry.

3:25 And then I think the frosting on the outside should be just vanilla.

3:29 And what color should it be?

3:30 Okay.

3:30 Now we have to pick out the color because

3:32 the outside like you know you want it to look cute.

3:34 What comes to mind immediately is like mint green.

3:36 You know what?

3:37 Mint green with red writing.

3:39 I love a pop of red.

3:40 I love minty green with red.

3:42 It's like a cool vintagey vibe.

3:44 So, it'll be mint green for This is going to be so much work.

3:49 It's totally fun.

3:50 I have nothing better to do today.

3:51 Classic piping around the top and bottom.

3:53 I just like love that look.

3:55 Classic piping.

3:58 It's my plan.

4:00 Now, let's make a grocery list.

4:06 [Music] 6 99 59 999 [Music] 5.99.

4:55 I guess let's just do this thing then.

4:57 Okay.

4:57 The cake recipe and then the frosting.

5:02 We're going to go like this and trace around.

5:05 We need little circles.

5:06 There we go.

5:07 There's like going to be like 15 sticks of butter in this cake.

5:10 So, if it doesn't taste good, I don't know.

5:15 I am a little bit frightened that I forgot an ingredient because I

5:19 made this like whole elaborate grocery list and then I forgot it at home.

5:26 Also, I'm a little concerned because the recipe calls

5:29 for 8 in pans and my pans are all 9 in.

5:33 So, I'm hoping that doesn't become an issue.

5:36 This is such a messy experience.

5:38 Baking is very me.

5:39 Oh, too much.

5:41 I need to be more gentle.

5:43 That was kind of hard.

5:45 Hopefully, it gets easier from here.

5:47 This flour I'll use in the cake.

5:49 Can I get this into here?

5:51 That's fine.

5:52 Okay.

5:52 Now, I'm going to put these in the bottom.

5:56 I'm like kind of tempted to skip this step cuz it's kind of high maintenance,

6:00 but I think it will add flavor.

6:03 How do I put this thing on?

6:05 How does it work?

6:09 How do I lock the bowl?

6:11 Ah, voila.

6:13 Sorry.

6:14 Sorry.

6:15 Okay, that's good.

6:16 The recipe calls for some chopped almonds on the bottom of the pan.

6:23 Now things get real.

6:24 Oh, wait.

6:24 I need an apron.

6:29 It's my cheese apron.

6:31 What are we doing?

6:32 Come on.

6:33 342 baking soda.

6:35 Baking powder.

6:37 Half teaspoon salt.

6:38 Boom.

6:39 That was a little bit heaping.

6:40 Whisk.

6:40 Wait, I actually need to think about this.

6:42 My butter needs to be soft and my eggs

6:46 need to be room need to be room temperature.

6:49 Honestly, it's so hot out right now.

6:51 It's like 85°.

6:52 I'm going to put the eggs and the butter

6:54 outside for a little bit cuz it's so hot out.

6:57 I'm getting over a cold.

6:59 I had a horrible cold last weekend.

7:02 So, no one should be eating this cake

7:04 but me because I just coughed into the bowl.

7:06 I haven't opened a carton like this in like 15 years.

7:10 So, vintage.

7:11 Buttermilk.

7:12 Cup and a quarter of buttermilk.

7:14 It calls for vegetable oil,

7:15 but I feel like if I use olive oil, it'll taste better.

7:18 People love olive oil cake.

7:20 I love olive oil cake.

7:21 Should be fine.

7:22 It should be fine.

7:22 Okay, it's telling me to do half of a teaspoon of almond extract.

7:26 I'm not going to lie.

7:27 I might do a full teaspoon.

7:29 Sorry.

7:30 Whoops.

7:30 Where's my lemon extract?

7:32 Where is it?

7:33 One tablespoon.

7:35 I know I should wash these.

7:37 I have to wash these.

7:38 Okay, hold on.

7:39 It did not sound fun to wash them, but I'm glad I did.

7:42 My conscience feels better about that.

7:44 I don't know what the best way to do

7:45 this is without almost grating your finger off.

7:48 I keep almost grating my finger off.

7:49 I feel like whenever you zest citrus for a pastry,

7:53 like it has to be good cuz it's so high effort.

7:55 I mean, this is going to be like a chic cake.

7:59 I hope my workspace is not looking good right now.

8:02 It's a mess.

8:03 I'm shockingly type A in my life.

8:05 Like, I'm very organized except for when I'm cooking.

8:08 This is unlike me and it makes me uncomfortable,

8:11 but I just can't do it in an organized fashion.

8:13 I just can't.

8:14 Approximately 14 cup of lemon juice.

8:18 Fresh.

8:19 1 and 1/2 stick of butter.

8:22 Okay.

8:23 Add eggs one at a time.

8:27 I'm moving it closer to us.

8:29 Oh my god, I spilled my lemon extract.

8:31 I'm a mess.

8:32 I need help.

8:33 Okay, wait.

8:34 I need to fix this situation.

8:35 It's too messy in here.

8:41 A little bit here.

8:42 Okay, I need to keep cleaning.

8:46 Looks kind of gross to be honest.

8:47 You know what?

8:48 I think my butter isn't melted enough because it's

8:51 kind of just sitting there in a big ball.

8:54 But there's kind of nothing I can do about that now.

8:56 So, whatever.

9:01 I just wanted to see what would happen.

9:02 A little more of this.

9:04 It's starting to look like cake.

9:06 It looked chunky for a sec, but the chunk has subsided.

9:10 So, I think you might be fine.

9:14 Most people would reach their finger in there and taste the batter.

9:17 Not me.

9:19 Not me.

9:20 Because I don't want to get salmonella.

9:22 Unlike you freaks dipping your finger in there.

9:25 No.

9:26 It honestly looks good.

9:29 There is not enough batter for three.

9:32 I barely have any left.

9:33 Yeah.

9:33 I mean, it's going to be like a pancake.

9:35 I guess it's a two layer cake then.

9:36 Sorry to who I've disappointed.

9:38 We'll see.

9:38 Look, it's so shallow.

9:47 [Music] Oh my god.

9:53 Oh my god.

9:53 Oh my god.

9:54 Oh my god.

9:54 Oh my god.

9:54 Oh my god.

9:57 No.

9:59 No.

10:00 Oh my god.

10:00 You guys, something bad happened.

10:02 Something bad happened.

10:03 This is crazy.

10:04 Oh my god.

10:04 This is a catastrophe.

10:07 I forgot to add the sugar.

10:09 Wait, where was that?

10:12 Oh my [Music] god.

10:25 I have to start [Music] over.

10:32 I have to start over.

10:34 I forgot to add the sugar completely.

10:36 I was supposed to whip the sugar into the butter.

10:41 Oh my god, I have to start over.

10:43 Oh my god, I'm so upset.

10:46 How did I miss that?

10:47 Oh my god, should I just quit?

10:49 I'm not kidding.

10:49 Should I quit?

10:51 I'm thinking about it.

10:52 No, I can't quit.

10:53 This sucks.

10:56 Okay, start over then.

11:03 [Music] You know, I mean,

11:16 baking is just so high effort and to like make a mistake like that, that hurts.

11:21 Like, I'm sad.

11:22 But you know what?

11:24 We shall not give up when things get tough in this life,

11:27 it must motivate us to get back up and try again.

11:31 And that is what I'm doing right now.

11:32 But my goodness, it's tough.

11:34 Like I kind of want to go to a local

11:36 bakery right now and pick up a pick up a cake.

11:39 But where's the character development in that?

11:42 That is lazy.

11:43 I am not lazy.

11:44 I am going to do this right.

11:46 Okay, I'm calming down now.

11:47 Wait, now I'm in a good mood.

11:49 Yay.

11:49 No, I'm kidding.

11:50 I am still pissed, but I'm coming back.

11:52 I'm feeling better.

11:54 I'm not even measuring this time.

11:56 Oh, I didn't put the blade in.

11:58 Okay, I need to relax.

12:00 Maybe I can be, you know,

12:01 even more efficient this time because I've done it once before.

12:07 Now we can start this again all over again.

12:11 Yay.

12:12 I actually kind of remember the recipe.

12:13 I'm like doing it by heart.

12:14 Okay, I should actually be looking because otherwise

12:17 I'm going to it up all over again.

12:18 The sugar is going in.

12:20 No problem.

12:21 I remember everything's fine.

12:22 It's going in now.

12:24 I cannot believe I forgot that.

12:25 I cannot believe it.

12:26 It's actually crazy.

12:27 But let's move forward.

12:28 Come on.

12:29 Let's move on.

12:30 Let's stop talking about it.

12:32 Doesn't matter.

12:34 Now, this is the part I was dreading.

12:35 I really don't want to zest the lemon again.

12:38 I don't.

12:38 That was my least favorite part, and I I have to do it again.

12:41 Oh, I have to add oil.

12:42 I can start adding eggs to this.

12:43 I'm multitasking a little bit too much

12:46 to the point where it's like frightening me.

12:50 Ow.

12:51 I grated my thumb.

12:52 I have to do some food safety real quick.

12:55 Yay.

12:56 Okay.

12:56 It actually looks so good.

12:59 Look.

13:00 Um, I'll show you later.

13:01 I can't show you right now.

13:02 There's a lot going on.

13:03 I'm going to eat every single last bite of this cake.

13:06 Not one bite of it will be wasted

13:08 because of how much work I'm putting into this.

13:09 It looks amazing, though, to be honest.

13:11 It looks [Music] delicious.

13:16 Looks good to me.

13:17 Oh my god.

13:19 Wow.

13:19 We're back.

13:20 Wow.

13:20 The batter feels so nice compared to how it did before.

13:24 Sugar is a beautiful thing.

13:26 really changed everything.

13:28 I guess batter looks gorgeous and fluffy.

13:31 I really want to try it,

13:33 but I'm not going to cuz I don't want to get salmonella.

13:35 But I just know that I really want to try it.

13:38 Wow, my counter is disgusting.

13:40 Now we try this again.

13:43 And it fits in three.

13:44 I'm done.

13:45 Yay.

13:46 We did it.

13:47 We're back to where we were.

13:48 Wow.

13:49 One mistake really can set you [Music] back.

13:53 I need a break.

13:55 Yeah, I need a break.

13:56 I need to go sit down.

13:57 Actually, to be honest, there's no time for that.

13:59 I need to start the icing,

14:00 but I'm like emotionally in a fragile place, to be honest.

14:03 I'm in a really fragile place.

14:07 Um, yeah.

14:15 [Music] [Music] I deserve [Music] this.

14:47 Oh my god, I broke it.

14:49 No, but not really though.

14:50 Wow.

14:52 cake.

14:53 Okay, I left my frosting in the fridge for too long and now it is really cold.

14:58 It's rock hard.

15:00 Um, I'm just hitting every roadblock today.

15:03 I swear.

15:04 I guess I'll go put the frosting outside for a little bit so that it warms up.

15:08 Oh my god.

15:09 You know, I think you're not supposed to put buttercream in the fridge.

15:13 I don't know why I did that.

15:18 That was a mistake.

15:19 Okay, you know what?

15:21 In the meantime, I'll prepare my fruit for the filling.

15:24 No problem.

15:25 See, my attitude has improved since the incident.

15:29 Everything's cool.

15:31 Nice and thin.

15:34 I'm going to be honest, it's still a little bit hard.

15:37 Let's see.

15:38 Nope, too hard.

15:39 Maybe I'll warm some up.

15:42 Sounds like a bad idea, I know, but let's just try it.

15:44 I might have to make a new batch, to be honest.

15:48 Okay, I think it's fine.

15:50 If anyone has ever made you a cake from scratch,

15:53 I want you to text them right now and say,

15:54 "You are the greatest person alive." Pause the video and do that.

15:57 If anyone's ever made you a cake from scratch,

15:59 cuz this is the hardest thing I've ever done.

16:02 I don't know why, but it is.

16:03 It's so hard.

16:05 Okay?

16:06 So, text them.

16:14 [Music] What?

16:18 All right, we lost a little bit of cake.

16:23 M.

16:24 Oh my god.

16:25 Yum.

16:25 That's a little bit of foreshadowing for me

16:27 of what the final cake will taste like.

16:31 I've watched so many baking shows, like baking competition shows.

16:34 I have a brand new sense of empathy for those people on those shows.

16:38 I mean, they've had a lot of practice,

16:40 so they probably don't forget the sugar like I did.

16:42 That's kind of a rookie mistake.

16:44 I don't know if that's even a rookie mistake.

16:45 I think that's like just a lack of common sense altogether,

16:48 which is super disturbing.

16:50 Okay, so this one, the almond crust ripped off as well.

16:53 But that means I get to eat it.

16:55 It's sad that that didn't make it on on the cake.

16:57 This is like the best cake I've ever had.

17:01 What's happening?

17:02 Really, what matters is that it tastes good.

17:04 And it does taste good.

17:06 I think I need to make more buttercream now.

17:08 I mean, maybe I have enough for what they call a crumb coat.

17:12 I'm just going to go very gently.

17:14 Just going to do a nice thin layer.

17:16 Okay, now I need to do the sides.

17:18 Like, what is the best practice for that?

17:20 I could Google it, but I'm kind of in the thick of it right now.

17:22 Like, I don't want to Google it.

17:24 I guess just like kind of packing it on.

17:26 That's good.

17:26 That actually is kind of working.

17:28 I mean, I don't know what other way there would be to do it, you know?

17:31 Not too bad.

17:32 We got a cake.

17:33 No one can deny that this is a cake.

17:35 Like, this is definitely a cake.

17:36 I'm going to put this in the fridge so that it can get cold

17:39 and then I can decorate it cuz I think that's what you're supposed to do.

17:42 I'm not I actually literally just remember that from watching baking shows.

17:45 I don't even know if it's 100% [Music] true.

17:58 I am exhausted.

18:00 I am so tired.

18:02 You have to be very gentle as to not

18:04 destroy the structural integrity of the cake.

18:08 This part is anxiety relieving.

18:11 This is soothing.

18:12 No, Dean.

18:14 No.

18:15 Hey, the top looks pretty fabulous.

18:18 There's uh six sticks of butter in this cake.

18:23 Six.

18:24 How does that make you feel?

18:26 Makes me feel a little concerned, but overall pretty good.

18:30 But that is a lot of butter.

18:31 That's a little bit too much butter.

18:33 That it like I don't think you know what I mean.

18:35 Six sticks of butter.

18:38 Eek.

18:38 That's a lot.

18:39 Wait, I just realized it's not my birthday today,

18:42 so I can't eat this until tomorrow.

18:48 Oh, okay.

18:50 Well, I'm taking my time, which is something I have a hard time doing

18:54 when I'm like working on a craft of sorts.

18:57 I I tend to rush things a lot.

18:59 I think that's why I messed up with the sugar today.

19:01 It's kind of an arm workout randomly.

19:03 It's very Pilates.

19:04 Subtle but challenging movements.

19:06 The cake is lopsided and it's looking more lopsided by the second.

19:10 Not to the point where it's going to like fall over.

19:12 So, I'm not going to worry about it.

19:15 I'm not okay.

19:16 That looks great.

19:17 I'm super happy.

19:18 Yay.

19:19 I put it back in the fridge for a second.

19:21 I am allowing myself one cheat.

19:24 I made everything from scratch except for decorating.

19:27 I allowed myself to get pre-made little decorative little squeezy

19:32 things that come with tips that you can screw on.

19:35 Like, listen, am I proud of it?

19:37 No.

19:37 I don't know what I'm going to say on it.

19:39 I I might just say happy birthday.

19:41 I was thinking about saying something funny like happy birthday,

19:44 I guess, or something.

19:45 But it's like what?

19:47 I'm going to do white piping around the bottom to start.

19:49 See, it's nice.

19:51 It's subtle.

19:52 Okay, white piping's done.

19:54 Looks kind of to be honest.

19:55 I need to write happy birthday.

19:57 Ooh, this is scary.

19:59 Should I practice first?

20:01 Yeah, I should.

20:02 I'm going to get a piece of paper.

20:04 Oh my god.

20:04 Imagine if it fell off the table.

20:05 I would I don't know what I would do.

20:07 I don't think either of us want to know what I'd do.

20:12 Okay, this icing is kind of hard to work with.

20:16 Or I'm just bad at this.

20:18 All right, I'll just take it slow.

20:19 I was like, let me get a piece of paper to practice.

20:21 And then I practiced for one second and did a bad job.

20:23 Now I'm like, let's just hit the cake.

20:25 But I can always wipe it off technically.

20:27 Okay.

20:28 Happy birthday.

20:29 Nothing complicated, but I am going to try to do cursive,

20:32 which I can barely do when I'm writing regular.

20:34 So, let's see.

20:35 I'm not even getting everyone be quiet.

20:36 Everyone be quiet while I do this.

20:42 Oh my god.

20:43 I'm not breathing.

20:44 I'm not breathing while I do it.

20:46 Oh my god.

20:47 Stop.

20:48 Oh my god.

20:53 Wow, the end of that went really well.

21:02 Oh my god, it's so in the wrong place.

21:04 It's okay.

21:04 It's charming.

21:06 Yeah, it's a little bit crooked.

21:08 These do not look good.

21:10 I'm trying to put little flowers on it,

21:12 but they look like I have these little almond cookies.

21:19 [Music] [Music] What do you think Congratulations.

21:52 Thank you.

21:53 Another year to [Applause] That's so good.

22:06 Yum.

22:06 That's like perfect.

22:08 That's a great cake.

22:09 I love it.

22:10 Okay.

22:10 Wait.

22:11 Now I want to bake more cuz I I'm happy about my result.

22:17 Can I have an apple cookie?

22:18 Mhm.

22:20 Are they actually nipples?