a tour of my slightly mediocre animal crossing island

0:00 so like just about every socially anxious

0:02 20-something who's been recently trying to escape

0:03 the realities of the adult world and retreat back into the simple pleasures

0:07 of childhood i've been playing a lot of animal crossing wild world was

0:21 actually the first game i ever played on my nintendo ds light i would

0:24 like play it at dinner i would play it in my room once

0:27 i found out that i could lie to my mom without going to sleep

0:30 and just stay up playing my nintendo ds tragically i sold my ds

0:34 a long time ago um i would have loved to do like a retro nintendogs

0:40 pokemon diamond animal crossing wild worlds tour but some rando from ebay now

0:44 owns all of my games but a couple months ago i got myself

0:47 a switch and the new animal crossing and um let me tell you i

0:50 was obsessed with this game for a couple months eventually i reached a point

0:54 that i didn't even really enjoy it anymore i was just like chopping trees

0:58 over and over again for three hours in order to pay off my house

1:00 debt to a monopolistic raccoon with a dad bod feeling bad about myself because

1:04 my island didn't live up to the perfect five star islands that took over

1:07 my instagram algorithm which side note i think it's hilarious how literally

1:11 in a video game that's supposed to be

1:13 relaxing we've still somehow managed to recreate

1:16 unrealistic beauty standards eventually i ended up paying off all of my debts

1:20 and reaching the maximum house size and then i kind of lost the plot line

1:22 of the game because what's the point of life if there aren't greater

1:24 material possessions to consume and then spend years paying off debt for am i

1:29 right ladies so anyhow my animal crossing island is not the most perfect right

1:33 now i have a four star rating because isabelle is kind of a hard

1:35 ass isabel really said no to great inflation and also because i need

1:39 to have a bunch of fruit trees for uh money purposes on my island

1:42 and i refuse to just replace them with other objects but i think

1:45 i did some cool things with it so let's check it out also if

1:51 you're like actually a child who was just searching for animal crossing tours

1:54 and came across this video please don't watch this there's a lot of adult

1:57 language and references so yeah click on another video and come back here

1:59 in like 10 years when you're grown up but i hope you find the animal

2:03 crossing tour you're looking for and you're very cool animal crossing is a great

2:06 game i hope you enjoy your childhood okay hello and welcome to my slightly

2:11 mediocre animal crossing island named toasty by the way i tried to match

2:18 my animal crossing character's outfit so first off i thought i'd show you

2:22 around my house because honestly my house looks a lot better than my island

2:25 um and oh would you look at that my house has cockroaches so

2:29 it's just like my apartment in real life you guys know i got

2:31 like one cockroach in my apartment but i heard an even more horrifying story

2:34 from my friend who lives a couple blocks away he said that he

2:39 was drinking his coffee and he looked at the bottom of the mug

2:43 and there was just a huge cockroach sitting there anyway so i'm not going

2:47 over to his place anymore if that happened to me i would just throw

2:51 my body in the trash it makes me feel grateful for my one cockroach

2:55 that was on the floor and not in my dishware wow hashtag blessed anyhow

3:00 here is the hallway area it's kind of awkward to decorate because it's such

3:04 a large space and it has all these doors but i really liked how

3:06 the cherry blossoms floated down on this wallpaper so i kind of just built

3:10 around that went for kind of a white theme pop some fountains in there

3:14 i don't know upstairs we have my bedroom which is kind of just

3:17 a virtual version of my real-life bedroom there's a lot of light green pink

3:20 floral themes kind of a weird amount of wallpaper although i can only

3:24 dream in real life about having molding that's the school on the walls since

3:27 this room is so big i try to split it up with like

3:29 a couple different rug areas and corner themes i have a dressing corner i have

3:34 this kind of like chilling guitar playing corner i have a little artsy

3:38 area and a bed with like a bunch of crap by the bed which

3:41 i guess is accurate to my real life bedroom and of course this absolute

3:45 unit of a stuffed animal back downstairs and off to the left i put

3:50 together this little sitting room that honestly is my favorite room in the house

3:54 i really like how this like rug all the dark wood came together

3:58 obviously the obscene amount of plants i

4:00 think i stacked about every single potted

4:02 plant i have in the game back here over to the left we have

4:06 this music slash recreation slash billiards room

4:09 slash room that just holds a bunch

4:11 of random objects that are a similar color scheme so they look nice

4:13 together i am such a hoe for herringbone wood flooring i desperately want

4:17 it in my own apartment but since i can't change out the floors obviously

4:21 i've just been projecting onto animal crossing and then to the back would you

4:25 guess it it's a kitchen that is in the same color scheme and has

4:28 all the same furniture as my other two rooms for some reason my timmy

4:31 and tommy just refuse to sell me new items so every single time

4:35 i go to the store it's like the same set of furniture items

4:38 that i've gotten before i've logged in for like weeks at a time

4:41 and just never gotten anything new timmy and tommy will just not sell me

4:46 any of the actual kitchen furniture so all of my counters here are dressers

4:50 that have been turned around this table is two lecture hall desks that i

4:54 combined it kind of gives me ye oldie game of thrones vibes like somebody's

4:57 gonna get murdered at a wedding or like their sister in this room

5:02 and then downstairs i cannot believe by the way in this game they make you

5:06 pay like two million bales to get just a basement but i guess

5:10 in animal crossing much like real life when you get super rich money doesn't

5:14 really matter anymore and you just are trying to find something to spend

5:17 it on if only animal crossing had a little mini game for tax evasion

5:20 then i think we could capture the full experience anyhow as you can

5:23 probably tell i really recently upgraded my house so i don't have a whole

5:26 lot of stuff in here yet i was trying to find the right items

5:29 to turn it into like a 50 shades of grey sex dungeon but it

5:32 turns out for some reason in this game made for like 12 year

5:36 olds they don't have a whole lot of bdsm themed objects so i'm filing

5:40 a formal complaint with nintendo but in the meantime it kind of just

5:43 looks like this now to the great outdoors one of my favorite new features

5:47 of new horizons is the fact that you can customize your house i absolutely

5:51 love how my house looks um as you can tell i use this game

5:54 a lot to kind of like project my dreams for homeownership into a video

5:58 game so if i did buy a house this is what i want it

6:01 to look like um just baby blue cottage core vibes much like in real

6:05 life i also uh constantly have an inbox of texts that have gone

6:10 unread mostly from my mom um yeah one day i'll clean out my mailbox

6:13 but not today so let's start over yonder over the bridge i've been watching

6:18 a lot of fargo recently so i've been practicing my minnesotan accent oh yeah

6:21 that's the only thing i can say i can say oh yeah and that's

6:25 it here i made a path out of alternating colored hearts when i

6:28 was deep in the animal crossing instagram algorithm i saw all of these super

6:32 cool path patterns online but in order to borrow other people's patterns you

6:37 need to pay like five dollars a month to nintendo in order to like

6:42 use the wi-fi features not in this economy no sir although maybe

6:45 in this stock market because apparently the stock

6:46 market has become completely detached from real

6:48 life also i kind of have a moral objection to in-game app purchases

6:53 because uh you i paid for the game i'm not gonna pay you more

6:56 money i tried to get creative with the free patterns that came with the game

7:00 and create you know little checkerboard these little hearts um i don't really

7:03 know what the point of all these hedges are i was just trying

7:05 to use up space on my island because this island is so big

7:09 to the left i am preparing for christian girl autumn with this pumpkin patch

7:13 honestly like every single year i get more and more of an autumn hoe

7:17 and don't even get me started on fall fashion just you wait till

7:21 i pull out my blazers it's all over for you anyhow here's my pumpkin

7:24 patch i've been pretty much buying

7:26 every single like spooky halloween themed item

7:28 from the store possible so i put this random giant pumpkin table over here uh

7:33 because i didn't know where else to put it back over to the right

7:37 through this bamboo forest we have

7:38 a little chinese restaurant and this was actually

7:41 inspired by lin on youtube she made a little dim sum restaurant that looked

7:46 like this she even made a menu and used a podium as a little

7:49 hostess stand which i thought was the cutest thing dim sum and bao

7:53 in particular have always been my favorite

7:54 food my hometown growing up didn't have

7:56 a dim sum place so once per year my parents would take me

8:00 to this like child study at johns hopkins where we got paid like fifty

8:04 dollars for me to answer like three hours worth of questionnaires about um like

8:08 my drug usage and sexual activity which were all like non-existent at the time

8:12 and we did that like every single year for my entire childhood i

8:16 remember there was this one question in the study that was have you

8:19 had oral sex in the past year but when i was in high

8:21 school i didn't actually know what oral sex was i thought it was just

8:24 like kissing on the mouth because i guess i was like that's sexual

8:27 and it's oral so when i was 16 i wrote like a question mark like

8:32 i kiss somebody on the mouth if that counts so i'm sure the research

8:35 assistants had a good laugh at that one anyhow um yeah i had

8:38 to do this like weird child study thing and then afterwards as a treat

8:41 my parents would use the money that we got from the study and we

8:45 would go out to dim sum in baltimore and um it made kind

8:47 of the invasive questions about my life as a child worth it in retrospect

8:51 i realized the story kind of makes it sound like my parents secretly sent

8:54 me to therapy as a child but i swear it was like actually just

8:57 this longitudinal study of like child

8:59 growth and development anyway just niche ashley's

9:02 childhood things okay if we go up this ramp here i made another little

9:06 room basically in animal crossing i

9:09 don't actually really understand how you're supposed

9:12 to decorate outdoors so i mostly just

9:14 resort to like building little fenced in areas

9:16 and decorating them as if they were a house so here i put

9:19 together this kind of like bondage-themed bedroom

9:22 that's the only thing that these beds

9:24 with bed posts remind me of i'm like y'all are into some kinky

9:26 to the left beyond this little outcropping

9:29 we have my two animal crossing boyfriends houses this house belongs to jacques

9:33 who is this pretentious little french hipster

9:36 bird who reminds me of the hipster boys in silverlake who used to nag

9:39 me i'm honestly so impressed with how

9:42 accurately the animal crossing designers have captured

9:45 this type of personality like jacques does not say hi he says hey jacques

9:50 wouldn't call himself sexist but he does say you're not like other girls

9:53 and you're actually kind of cool and then over here we have an absolute

9:59 sweetheart real animal crossing hubby material this is sherb as far as i can

10:02 tell all he does is sleep eat donuts and look adorable but that's okay

10:07 with me he calls me burrito which i think is very sweet um

10:10 yes we are getting married in the spring out front i made this recreation

10:14 of the lacma lampposts i love how they look at night and they're perfect

10:18 for taking outfit pics for my animal

10:20 crossing characters budding instagram career as i

10:22 mentioned before i pretty much only know how to decorate the outside

10:25 by creating little rooms so i kind of created this wall of trees around

10:30 this cabin area put together a bunch of cozy furniture a fireplace some books

10:34 to read some arm chairs to smoke a cigar in drink some whiskey talk

10:38 about collecting mafia money you know that type of stuff and to the right

10:42 there is this little heart-shaped lake which

10:43 actually i didn't make myself my island

10:45 just came with a perfectly heart-shaped lake and that is really just um

10:49 the beauty of mother nature back down this ramp this is kind of back

10:52 where we started i kind of just have some wild territory of trees

10:57 honestly i kind of like leaving parts of my island undeveloped because from like

11:01 an economic standpoint you're able to earn so much money off of foreign fruit

11:05 that every couple days i can just shake all the trees on my island

11:07 get a couple hundred thousand bells and be well on my way to paying

11:12 for the randomly overpriced things in this game this is back where we

11:16 started at my house and now let's explore the right side of the island

11:19 now this part of the island is where things start kind of going

11:22 downhill and getting just like really random i kind of ran out of ideas

11:25 at this point and i got kind of fed up playing this game

11:28 i started having sex again so that i didn't feel the need to take

11:31 out all of my sexual frustration on a cartoon animal game over here i

11:34 put together a little concert hall so i have some instruments up there

11:38 and then i put together a bunch of lecture seating to create a little auditorium

11:42 here's the main downtown plaza area um just like a ton of flowers

11:47 for no particular reason i saw somebody

11:49 on instagram stack together all of these different

11:52 electronics on different levels in their town and it looked like tokyo it

11:56 was so cool but for some reason when i do it it just looks

12:00 like a chuck e cheese okay if we head downwards i have this little

12:04 pec picnic area over here we have a couple villagers houses now let

12:09 me tell you about these villagers i have been trying to get rid

12:12 of them since april i watched all these videos online for how to get

12:16 rid of your villagers and one of them said if you just build

12:19 a fence all the way around their house and trap them there so they

12:22 literally can't talk to anyone go out and do anything um basically just like

12:26 real life quarantine then eventually they'll get

12:29 fed up and move but these animals

12:33 are quarantined queens they have been completely alone for april may june july

12:38 august september october seven months yeah there

12:42 were work in progress i'm slowly trying

12:43 to break them down maybe if i added some like wildfires and trump

12:47 as president then they would finally give up like the rest of us over

12:51 here we have moe's house moe on the other hand is allowed out

12:54 of house arrest he is just like a cute little cat he kind of reminds

12:57 me of a toddler like a little baby if we circle down here

13:01 through this awkward placement of trees i created a little what would you call

13:05 this like a peninsula i guess i worked really hard to get this super

13:10 symmetrical um and so i think it looks quite aesthetically pleasing if i miss

13:13 this so myself i'm running out of fun ways to describe my island

13:19 this is like half the experience of animal crossing just like kind of waiting

13:22 for your character to run faster across the island across this bridge i

13:27 created well i was gonna say i created an orchard i feel like it's

13:30 kind of a generous way to describe this um it's pretty much just

13:33 a depository for a bunch of fruit trees i created some little stands though

13:37 so maybe if you were getting creative you could imagine it was like one

13:41 of those pick your own fruit orchards i don't know that's really a stretch

13:46 over here we have rolled house rolled is an absolute cutie something about

13:50 his blank ass stare is so adorable to me unfortunately though rolled is like

13:55 a fitness type character so he just always talks about like biceps and working

13:59 out and it kind of reminds me of my ex so i don't really

14:04 like talking to him but i like looking at him which also reminds

14:07 me of my ex i didn't say that that was a joke sorry you

14:11 guys say that i have a lot of plants in my actual apartment

14:14 but oh baby my apartment is nothing compared to this field every so often when

14:19 i need a certain color flower i'll just dig it out of this patch

14:22 patch the hole back up and then in a couple days there'll be

14:24 a new flower that bred there and so i just kind of have

14:27 an infinite supply of plants past

14:30 this absolute pollen fest we have roscoe's house

14:33 roscoe's one of my favorite characters he kind of reminds me of bojack

14:37 in that he's this like old grumpy curmudgeonly horse in order to match roscoe's

14:41 kind of gothic theme i planted all of these black flowers around him

14:45 and next door we have ken i feel like super neutral about him um i

14:49 guess he's fine honestly i don't really talk to my animal crossing characters

14:53 that much like i'll get really attached to one or two but then

14:56 the rest of them i just kind of like run away you know when

14:59 some of the villagers have like something to tell you and they say oh

15:02 my gosh hi and they start like running after you around town honestly i

15:07 think that is the origin of my social anxiety because i just like run

15:10 away from them and keep running until they stop talking to me back across

15:14 the flower field this is where cookie and gayle live from the outside they're

15:18 both just like super normal sweet pink characters except i have the secret

15:22 theory that cookie is like in the mafia or something she is normally just

15:27 like so sweet she talks about fashion school she talks about wanting to be

15:31 a pop star and then occasionally she hits you with a i'm going

15:34 to fashion school or at least that's what i'm saying for tax purposes

15:38 damn cookie girl girl knows how to work a tax code i guess so

15:42 i made this little hidden mountain in the back which is honestly like

15:45 obscenely hard to get to i think i've done a little bit too good

15:47 of a job of hiding it but i made a little secret spa

15:50 area and there's a go board so we can play games you know skinny

15:54 dip just me and sherb if you go around this side there's also

15:58 a telescope so you have a great view of the island and you can watch

16:01 the stars [Music] so yeah that is my animal crossing island thanks for hanging

16:06 out with me i hope this proved to you that all animal crossing islands

16:09 are beautiful and you don't need to compare

16:12 your animal crossing islands to the unrealistic

16:13 instagram standards of animal crossing islands i'll see you guys soon bye you