Shane Gillis & Theo Von | Funniest Podcast Moments | #1

0:06 it's almost like you know some birds when they after they've

0:09 flown for a long way they'll like vomit right when they land

0:12 it's uh I don't want to it's something like a seagull

0:15 or something there yeah you know some birds can fly almost 1100 miles

0:19 before they land right but there's some when they right when they

0:21 vomit they land will you look that up yeah I see defensive

0:25 vomiting that turkey vultures do yeah I don't know about when they

0:28 land def defensive vomiting there was a Phil a Phillies fan defensive

0:32 vomited on a kid one time really at a game yeah

0:35 the guy in front of him was talking[ __] and he puked

0:37 on his son during the baseball game defensive that guy a turkey

0:42 ball dude yeah that's a Cracker Barrel baptism right there dude yeah got

0:46 puked on at a baseball game cuz your drunk dad with one[

0:50 __] lens in his glasses was mouthing off dude there's way there's

0:56 way too many fights at these games these days or do you

0:58 think we're just recording them now that's what it is I don't

1:00 know there's always been that many fights we're there has always been

1:03 that many fights but it's so easy to get in a fight

1:05 at a sporting event yeah cuz you want your team to win

1:08 so bad and then there's a guy next to you like

1:10 clapping hard for the other team well people also some yeah that's

1:14 true so I hate him I can't control this game but I

1:17 can[ __] that guy up oh that's a good point you know

1:19 I might be losing by 30 out there but right here I'm

1:22 about to win this going to be a moral Victory I'm going

1:24 to get arrested after the loss yeah I'm going to be I'm

1:27 going to vomit on this guy's fat son vomiting on a kid

1:34 is so funny well just be like this game's not go well

1:40 there's no video is that the kid it's the guy who did

1:42 it it's from 2010 there's no video Legend dude he does have

1:45 one lens I knew it Matthew yeah he does he got one

1:49 lens he has one lens you're right Matthew Clemens Phillies fan vomit

1:55 vomit man vomit man a superhero I guess he threw up

2:01 on a cop and a kid damn wasn't just wow on a spree

2:05 yeah it says right there what filet a Phillies fan Matthew

2:09 Clemens did was enough to make himself sick and us too

2:13 for that matter but at least now he admits it wow good

2:16 friend we should call him sometime H and I and I and I

2:19 always had a I was oh we're allowed to drink these yeah

2:21 we can drink these man that's sparkling do you mind this is

2:24 sparkling water you want flat I don't know why I thought

2:26 this was this is out drinking take flat was coffee it's water

2:31 liquid death water yeah where's this stuff from Flint I don't know

2:36 probably actually a good call here we got a question that came

2:41 in right here from some young gentleman right here oh nice D

2:44 what's going on Theo what's going on Shane my name is Cody

2:47 from Houston Texas and uh my question for Shane is uh what

2:52 advice would you give to an aspiring young comedian who has no life

2:56 skills and delivers pizza for a living please tell me gang

3:03 gang you should give him the advice well you got to get

3:08 canceled bro I think true to start yeah bro you do something

3:12 you uh you know do something a little edgy do something deliver

3:17 a pizza yeah that's shaped like a uh illegal symbol from German

3:21 symb on it yeah deliver a pizza somebody did that they did

3:26 yes oh damn with pepperonis dude I saw it really I saw

3:29 it somebody got in trouble for this oh damn please look up

3:32 swasa pizza oh D please Google that dude yes look at that oh

3:38 man and the irony is it's made out of pork isn't

3:42 it so that's a double on Tandra right there man that's bad

3:46 news um yeah that that is a bad news Pizza Little Caesar

3:52 fires two workers you know how it went oh I've talked about

3:58 you know how it went they one dude was like I can't

4:01 wait for him to pull this out of the oven and see

4:03 that I ruined it and the other guy just must have pulling

4:05 it out not even[ __] looked at it thrown in a box

4:08 shipped it then the other guy's sitting there like yo what'

4:11 you do with that pizza he's like dude it's out it's all

4:15 it's tracking tracking watching it like oh[ __] it's at their house

4:19 dude yeah who are they what's their look at their name

4:23 look at their day oh[ __] Goldstein you know[ __] dominoes what

4:29 the the[ __] you're like is it BG or BG which one

4:33 is it oh man that is a freaking insane so yeah the dude

4:39 opening that I'd be so happy if I got home opened

4:42 a pizza I'd be like holy[ __] dude the dudes at Little Caesar

4:46 are[ __] wild now they're wilding out man uh look there's

4:51 the two workers oh wait no that can't be the two workers it

4:56 has to be you think they they just put two random

4:59 could be the victims Caesar in Ohio fired up are we now

5:08 that we're talking about this little Caesar says we're deeply disappointed

5:12 by the actions but bring up Little Caesar this guy looks a little third

5:17 reichy I think oh for sure and look at them musini

5:20 the guy definitely no it's which no these are the victims oh

5:26 these are the victims they rece his wife Misty oh I love[

5:35 __] these aren't funny jokes and shouldn't be made it's true they're

5:40 kind of funny jokes I mean it's you don't think it's

5:42 a funny joke putting a squas on a Little Caesar's Pizza I mean

5:45 I think it's obviously a funny joke dude it is funny it's[

5:49 __] funny yes I agree it's a fireball right and this is

5:52 the owner of Little Caesars holy[ __] dude he's got a Roman

5:56 haircut yeah that is holy[ __] Cesar bro that's the drawing that's

6:01 why bring up the drawing it is I think that is him

6:05 it's him wow Haskins died that yeah[ __] that sucks yeah yeah

6:12 pedestrian that sucks man walking down there damn getting hit by a[ __]

6:16 car on a highway like that especially you see it coming

6:20 you know I don't think you do you think I don't know

6:23 I would just imagine when you're trying to cross a street and you're

6:25 like that thing's far away I can dude they come up

6:27 quick on so fast the couple drinks nobody hits their horn iut

6:35 that's a my they're not sing they're just beeping those two big

6:42 headlights it's just you feel something start to press into the side

6:45 of you that's all you ever that's all it is and you

6:49 get you ever see someone get hit by a car cuz you

6:50 go up in the air high as[ __] yeah shoes fly off

6:53 your shoes fly off it's[ __] crazy you go long you go

6:56 straight like a[ __] it's a titly wink it's for you go

6:58 up and just that it's bizarre oh do you see that thing

7:01 with the mayor do you see that thing with mayor with the mayor

7:04 of New York no it's a um oh yeah this is

7:09 it right here do you see this so Eric Adams he

7:12 teaches what was he saying they're teaching kids how to they're teaching

7:15 parents had to search your kids' room to find drugs and gun

7:18 stuff get you see this you can look at a jewelry box

7:20 a jewelry box of this nature maybe a simple jewelry box

7:24 but if you look through it closely you don't know what your child

7:26 may be hiding for instance a gun that's from the state

7:29 of New York government was like make it's scary as[ __] hold

7:33 on hold on start it over they do that music is crazy

7:39 scare the[ __] out of these people it's like it almost seems

7:42 like a um like the story before Castle Vania starts like

7:46 on a video game jewelry box a jewelry box this is opening menu May

7:50 simp box but if you look through it closely you don't

7:53 know what your child may be hiding for instance a gun look

7:57 at picture frames behind them cameras try to determine what's what's taking

8:02 place behind a picture frame you can find bullets you should always when

8:06 your child bring video game that's where you find bullets in video

8:09 games look through it to see look through his naag you might

8:12 find a grenade in addition to a book something simple as a crack

8:18 pipe something simple as a as a baby dog what great

8:21 is kid baby doll but also it could be a place

8:24 where you can secrete or hide drugs secr this a mayor that's

8:30 unusual like a pull like this with a button is a perfect

8:33 invitation to hide something and I felt something bumpy I will reach

8:37 in see what it is just look bro you guys have got

8:43 to SL stop man you guys have to see this I mean

8:45 it just that's unbelievable look at this where's wait where's the cocaine

8:49 at hi cocaine you can look in the jewelry box a jewelry

8:54 box I like it more than just books go to jewelry

8:58 Bo just look see what's inside your bookcases book this is like

9:03 black clue call me[ __] Colonel Mustard look behind this picture

9:09 of your cousin what's that a eightball some suppositories he's like oh look

9:14 in look in this baby doll what's in there a shank

9:17 a picture of Andy dof frame it's a good kid I mean he's

9:21 got guns and a printer yeah oh it's a nice room yeah

9:25 it's like oh oh look under that Nintendo switch oh what's that bam

9:31 it's a 12 gauge and some tramad doll now and lers

9:35 he got a lot of guns dude um that's pretty awesome that's

9:38 pretty awesome man he's a good I like him Eric Adams yeah

9:43 he seems funny yeah seems good yeah I think he obviously seems

9:47 down Earth he's willing to do that yeah you know because

9:50 that seems like it could be like a sketch you know they somebody

9:53 think that was a sketch dud you think who where's that from no

9:56 that's real it feels like Reno that's real that's old though

10:01 I don't know how that has to be old there's no way

10:03 New York it was tweeted out like this week and that's why

10:06 it got the rounds I don't mean to punch holes in it

10:09 cuz if that just came out that looks like it's from 20

10:12 years ago it looks like that was yeah check your son's invisaline

10:15 case he may be hiding uh shotgun shells or just bullets bullets

10:21 yeah look behind that autograph picture of Katie Perry oh what's

10:25 that that's a Gatling gun and some oxies oh you you think it's

10:30 just your child's retainer case but open it up and Bam it's

10:34 an indentured servant and some Quay luds yeah we tried I know

10:39 we tried for a while to get a real Amish or uh

10:42 somebody semi Amish on here and we couldn't do it I was

10:45 at a I was at a football game in Indiana there's

10:48 a lot of them in Indiana and Ohio too and they uh

10:51 these dudes were just on rum Springer[ __] tailgating with us wow

10:55 and they were getting wrecked dude damn and they were jacked from all

10:58 the[ __] work oh yeah just getting ham just idiots they D

11:03 oh they could build a bird housee with their tongue the Amish

11:06 they'll build a damn they were like and they speak

11:09 with a crazy accent really I can't even do it I don't know

11:12 they call us the English oh wow yeah I didn't know

11:16 that so they don't look at so do they look at themselves

11:19 as even like I mean I guess they look at themselves as human

11:22 yeah and they look at themselves as religious but they don't look

11:25 at themselves as like English or anything no they think we're

11:29 the English and they're the I don't know what the[ __] they are

11:32 Germans damn yeah they're wrong yeah just wrong across the board

11:38 for some of the women did y'all see some of them um nice

11:41 babe it's rare but if you if you see a hot Amish

11:44 chick it's like damn that's my queen yeah she in a beautiful

11:48 flowery dress yeah no one's touched her oh what a sweet angel

11:53 stinks like hell you think they smell good or bad no they

11:57 smell bad oh yeah they do smell bad I hope that well

12:00 yeah they're not going to care oh yeah they don't smell great

12:05 yeah there's something kind of Ro I feel like there's some sense

12:07 of romance about it um yeah for sure cuz you I think

12:10 you always romanticize like a woman with a pale of water

12:14 and you know and you you can help her hey I'll be you

12:17 know yeah let me help you I'll build us a boat

12:19 or something you know like I feel like and you can almost you

12:22 could use anything to get some excitement you could be like

12:24 hey let's you know have you ever done this and you just

12:27 do like the douge form or something you know you just do

12:29 like something like have you ever done the soldier boy you just

12:31 do something like that just yeah you do something crazy that they've

12:34 never seen they've never even seen you're incredible this is going

12:39 to be a hit this is a hit yeah this is a it

12:41 could be anything[ __] hit yeah so boy yeah that even if

12:45 you just do this dude smash hit and they're like oh

12:48 my god I've never thought of doing that yeah yeah yeah I just

12:52 think some of the ways you could hit on Amish women would

12:55 be insane dude or if you did this thing you know like

12:58 oh you know they might burn you they might burn you you

13:02 might get lit up you do the soldja boy they might burn

13:04 you they might be like that's witchcraft yeah that's true we're not

13:07 having that here my one friend used to like if you[ __]

13:10 with him at all he would scream like if you like grabbed

13:12 him or something he'd be like Shane get off for the last

13:15 time like you'd get you in trouble if you[ __] up

13:18 at all oh D it's very funny you can still do

13:20 that as an adult yeah you can you can you can be

13:22 like get the[ __] off dude I told you it's like I didn't

13:24 touch him yeah dude that was fun being a kid like that was

13:29 fun being a kid when somebody's getting in trouble oh man there

13:32 was so many little levels to it oh you cuz you were

13:35 free now someone else is in trouble so you can just be

13:37 like [Laughter] oh the teacher got to be like everybody settled

13:44 but you're charging her up she's like yeah you are in trouble dude

13:48 everyone knows you're[ __] dude the worst was when you got

13:52 in trouble it was like such a defeating feeling you felt everybody's eyes

13:56 were on you I would like cry cuz I'd have cuz I'd

13:59 get in trouble I'd be like yo my dad's going to[ __]

14:01 me up for this now he would never like actually[ __]

14:03 I'd get like slapped yeah but I'd get in trouble in school

14:07 a lot and every time I'd be like dude do you guys

14:09 understand I'm going to get[ __] up for this yeah like stop

14:12 giving me these detentions yeah for like farting yeah I'm going to get

14:16 hit yeah I'm going to literally get hit for this and they

14:19 had no problem with it they were like yeah maybe you

14:21 should stop faring you sure are yeah our principal I remember we

14:24 could still get beaten at school oh really and I remember getting

14:27 spanked by the man Bill Brady and I saw him at a funeral

14:30 recently and he seemed like a nice guy I was actually kind

14:32 of glad he was the guy that Spang me at the time

14:34 I didn't know who he was as a as a as a kid

14:36 I didn't he can't look in his eyes and get

14:38 an idea of him but as an adult I was able

14:40 to just look in his eyes like oh man you're at the funeral

14:42 was it the come guys funeral dick draw no no no

14:47 it's not that guy man thank God funeral yeah this guy yeah

14:52 this was a oh this fell that passed though he had we'd

14:55 been in a hot tub I've told this story before this is

14:58 I like how every one of your stories like yeah I remember

15:00 this as a kid now he has since passed like well yeah

15:03 he passed bro but oh everybody dies man that I know really

15:07 glad that uh that I got to come sorry it took me

15:09 so long to come man no I'm I've heard that before not

15:13 that you were don't worry about it brother it happens to all

15:18 of us sometimes sometimes you can't and that's fine true hey

15:24 bro let me autograph this uh rocket Jersey for you get out

15:28 of here okay first reports of the tunnel surface in late 2023

15:32 after a homeowner had called authorities

15:33 about a suspicious noises in his neighborhood

15:36 and that's drling isn't it I think I think of hearing noises

15:39 under your house Jewish guys it's just somebody listening to modest Yahoo

15:47 like he what's going on you can't tell anyone you can't

15:49 be like dude I swear to God there's Jews under my[ __]

15:51 house dude I know there's Jews down there no one's going

15:55 to believe you yeah they're like dude you mean you need to put

15:58 down the[ __] internet the Jews aren't everywhere like that you mean

16:01 underwriting your mortgage or what are you talking about they're like no

16:04 they no they're[ __] in there I hear them they whisper however

16:09 following excavation of a trench

16:10 for the project um simultaneously a construction

16:13 project was in progress to install new Plumbing in the 770 um

16:18 however following excavation the underground tunnel

16:21 had been discovered the tunnel had

16:23 reportedly been worked on during nights for an unknown amount of time

16:25 stretching the tunnel to a nextd door building women's sex ction Ah

16:31 that's nice yeah meet me in the[ __] tunnel [Laughter] babe that's

16:37 good that's crazy dude and that's Orthodox Jew is that Orthodox Jewish

16:41 people it appears so yes those people are wild man we had

16:44 a garbage man on right and from New York and he said

16:47 the worst people that he came across were Orthodox Jewish people dude

16:54 New York yeah he said the kids would come out and tell

16:56 him to just go[ __] himself and flip him off they

16:59 look at them they getting rowdy with the they were getting rowdy

17:01 during Co I think I heard maybe those tunnels were so they

17:04 could continue to go to synagogue during during Co because they they

17:09 locked that down right that's what you know that's what the media

17:12 is saying well that right right and by the media we mean

17:18 them so here's the guy coming out of the great look

17:21 the guy coming out of the great is one of the most antiemetic

17:23 things I've ever seen in my life dude oh wow oh no

17:31 where is this guy going dude to get a rebate yeah that's

17:36 insane coming out of the great there's no denying that there's tunnels

17:41 that is funny oh yeah it is there's nothing we can do

17:45 about you know we're not trying to be oh I don't think

17:48 we're being bad people or anything because the yeah these guys popped

17:51 up out of a[ __] tunnel anybody com out the tunn so

17:54 funny it's[ __] ins funny when[ __] you ever see the video

17:58 of El Chapo Escape in prison it's great anybody going

18:01 in and out of a tunnel is hilarious he goes into a tunnel

18:04 like behind a toilet he just escapes did you see the one

18:07 there's like some guy in his trailer right and a methed comes

18:11 up through just like the vent in the floor that he has

18:13 like you know like and it's like looking for something it's so

18:17 startling and the guy's like what in the[ __] are you doing

18:20 in here somebody coming out coming out of the floor is[ __]

18:24 so scary cuz they're not going to come out like smiling they're

18:28 going to come out holy[ __] it's a bunch of[ __] Ninja

18:33 Turtles dude oh is this it yeah Chapo you find the time

18:37 is right Super Mario is right out he's gone dude he's gone

18:48 [Music] wow you got me you got to make it Mexican somehow

18:57 I don't know how to do it um get that's wow dude

19:00 bro how SI how fun would that be to break out

19:01 of prison though awesome how would you do it you think you're big

19:06 no tunnels yeah you get stuck yeah I think I'm in there

19:11 I think I'm[ __] stuck dude I think I go to jail

19:15 I'm in jail there's no getting out[ __] man yeah I

19:18 can't get out[ __] laundry basket's too small yeah but Warden you

19:23 big boss man you look like the big boss man I mean

19:25 obviously you're gonna play him in a bio uh biop biopic uh

19:31 no I think I'm in there how are you getting out damn

19:34 God damn it God damn it dude so and look this goes

19:42 back to no you dare fade that you[ __] just zoom

19:45 in on that big one the one you already have that's biggest please

19:48 if you don't mind let's just get a gander at this fella

19:51 oh Shane I get it get out there bro that's your hot

19:55 air balloon to success right there jump on that thing oh was

20:00 that going the wrong way[ __] I do that all the time

20:07 so ni if I'm feeling bad at the at the gym

20:09 or at home mostly at home it's time that was some Brazilian

20:13 barber shop and they keep tagging me and[ __] really with some

20:17 kid that kid was Brazilian nice uh I should it should be

20:23 out it'll probably just be on YouTube uh and it'll probably be

20:27 like first week of like September around there wow that's soon yeah

20:31 yeah did you feel good about it I did I think it'll

20:35 be good that's cool man we'll see I don't know I now

20:37 watching it I hate it you know what I mean like sitting

20:40 down to have to watch it and try to like they're like

20:43 what joke do you want to use here and it's like they

20:45 all suck I know I look like a[ __] idiot up here

20:50 were you worried about what you would wear on it no

20:52 I wear the same[ __] like every day yeah so it wasn't

20:56 that complicated but I did like spat and get a[ __] haircut

20:59 like right before like right before it I got a[ __] bad haircut

21:04 bad dude I look like a crazy guy like it was

21:11 it was so ridiculous it was just a nervous panic I went

21:14 to like a[ __] I went to a Dominican barber shop

21:18 in Queens the day before I filmed and got like a tight skin

21:24 tight fade on the sides see the worst part of this is

21:27 and then dude he boiled my hair oh what are you doing

21:31 he gave me a full Dominican haircut it looked[ __] crazy oh

21:36 my God they put oil in their hair it's just oil I

21:38 just realized you look like atol Hitler a little bit sorry bro

21:43 I just realized this don't do that bro that's not it sorry

21:49 man you're handsomer than him I think yeah there we go V

21:56 yeah get fired up little scissors did you oh there's a pizza

21:59 I got a slight hit going dude last night you said one

22:05 of my I was thinking about it all day you were like

22:08 wait we were talking about the Holocaust again for some reason were

22:11 we we were a little bit but we were talking about oh

22:14 cuz we were talking about Hebrews nothing B we I think

22:18 we were with a Jewish man we were just discussing yeah how

22:21 uh and then you made a joke if I hope we can

22:24 edit this right if it's bad if you feel bad that I'm

22:27 exposing a funny joke he made okay about uh you're like like

22:32 you'd think there'd be more there's incest in the Jewish Community yeah

22:35 and you're like that I think you were like yeah cuz

22:37 of the Holocaust yeah they were all in the same space yeah that's

22:43 what I thought I didn't know it was very funny and then

22:45 you were like Hitler how far did Hitler live from the Holocaust

22:51 yeah I didn't know been[ __] me up all day really

22:54 it's so funny dude thinking of him you think Hitler commuted

23:00 to the Holocaust like went to work I didn't know man like

23:05 he checked into an office I was like all right things are

23:08 this is good this is what I planned yeah I did I

23:11 think yeah I always oh[ __] cuz I grew up in an area

23:14 of a lot of incests and so when you're around incests you

23:17 learn about other incests you know you kind of you know water

23:20 seeks its own or whatever but so Ari Manis who's my opener

23:26 who's Jewish is always chatting about yeah he told me that a lot

23:30 of incest in the Jewish communities because or I always thought

23:33 a lot of incest in the he said there's a lot of incest

23:35 in Jewish Community yeah he said it so I always thought

23:38 that it was because yeah like the Holocaust people are stuck together

23:42 you have sex with whoever is local to you yes you know

23:45 which is the same reason that they had incest in our community

23:47 growing up yeah or a lot of rural communities Ireland yeah people

23:52 don't want to go that far to have sex bottom line it's

23:56 sad to say but if some but you know but I think

24:00 the Holocaust was maybe in the ghettos before but the Holocaust I

24:04 think they separated men and women right and that's what he said

24:07 and that shocked me but cuz I've read uh I don't know why

24:13 it's so funny I'm sorry no it's okay saying the Holocaust

24:16 is a place is very funny just being like i''d be like

24:21 does he did he go to AIDS like it's not a the Holocaust

24:26 is a thing yeah I it's not a place cuz what

24:28 was that book I read oh S I don't remember it was

24:32 it was freaking good though but but it was about the Holocaust

24:35 but you sticky dick in it huh no Jesus you're just reading

24:39 Night by Eli weisel just like oh[ __] oh man I got

24:45 to I are we allowed to tell these jokes on we're

24:47 having fun I think we're okay I'm saying it you're not yeah

24:49 and I don't think we're nobody saying anything bad we're with Jewish

24:53 people we weren't doing we didn't say anything bad and I I just

24:56 that that's something that I thought I didn't know there's nothing wrong

24:59 with not knowing something true um but yeah and then I didn't

25:04 know like I didn't know I never seen like the charts

25:06 or anything like where did Adolf Hitler live at like did I I

25:09 always thought maybe he lived like out front or something I guess

25:13 I guess I equate it to like slavery or something you know

25:16 and not that it's the same thing but I just equate it

25:18 to like a bad thing and then I think in my head

25:21 I'm thinking oh well the slave owner probably lived on the edge

25:24 of the property I yes in that case the comparison would be

25:28 be like an SS guard yeah while the president you know what

25:34 I mean an SS guard would be like a plantation owner right

25:37 but the president he wasn't like coming down to plantations and being

25:41 like my plan's working right right you know what I mean yeah

25:45 I bet Hitler definitely went that's crazy actually now you mentioned it

25:49 yes I bet he did go inspect like nice can't believe it's

25:54 worked that's crazy this idea you know crazy masterminds this is crazy

26:00 when you put your mind to something just to see it here

26:04 brick and mortar you think was pumped that's[ __] up was like

26:10 holy[ __] man that's[ __] up you think was with his boys

26:13 like every once while you got to just take a step

26:15 back and be like we did it you [Laughter] know that's hilarious

26:21 it sounds like a Louis CK B on definitely Hitler Hitler killing

26:25 him killing himself reminds me of a Hitler just when he killed

26:29 himself he killed himself in a bunker did he with all

26:31 his boys wow and the Soviets were like in Berlin they were like

26:35 oh they about to get he was he was about to get

26:37 caught and he was like you're not going to get me[ __]

26:42 and he killed himself that's crazy which is pretty funny why

26:47 because at the end he just he just said I'm done yeah

26:50 at the end he was like well you're not even going

26:52 to get me you guys can't get me oh it's so it's such

26:54 a[ __] move yeah but in his defense yeah he was definitely

26:58 going to get[ __] he was going to get in trouble yeah

27:01 at that point everyone was like o yeah what you do dude

27:05 what the[ __] did you do Hitler so dude so CU you

27:08 grew up in the in Pennsylvania man you grew up out

27:11 and were you like an Amish country did you ever have any

27:13 interaction with the Amish there's a lot of Amish around D yeah

27:16 Lancaster that's I I was like 30 40 minutes west of Amish

27:20 country but they're around dude did you ever get approached by him

27:24 because I could see you being like I definitely if I'm Amish

27:27 and I'm a you know I don't want to say a milk

27:29 drinker but if I'm somebody that's close to that UT they knew

27:33 I was getting milk they saw me that guy's Ching milk

27:36 obviously like uh that guy's 8% right there yeah they uh no

27:41 but you'll see them we used to yell at them when we

27:42 were kids what would y'all say be like nice[ __] horse dumbass get

27:48 a car you[ __] idiot he drive past them it was fun

27:53 now I look back on him like that's very inappropriate the crazy

27:56 part is people that yell out like we and you're like they're

28:00 not gay these aren't gay people still that's I mean they're gay

28:04 for woodw homophobic and I don't stand for it yeah that's funny

28:08 driving by an Amish dude in a buggy be like you[ __]

28:11 homo he's got to be like what the[ __] oh dude

28:14 a couple black dudes called me the n-word a couple months ago Dude

28:17 and it was like that kind of brightens your day a little

28:21 I felt you know I was like you promise you know I

28:25 didn't know what to say that's so cool thank you guys like

28:28 say it again man it's cool when you guys did yeah we

28:31 like it my mom came in one time and I remember I

28:33 was touching myself right big surprise and uh she's like what what

28:41 are you doing that's what she said she shamed you yeah she's

28:46 like what are you doing like and I was kind of sitting

28:52 on the bed it was almost like very almost as if like

28:54 in the 1800s you'd wered upon like a a Gody who was

28:58 like a a j like a Jester traveling in the woods and he

29:02 taking off his suit and he's jerking off on by the river

29:05 bank or whatever you know and she's like what are you doing

29:09 and I was like get out and sudden she closed the door

29:13 right she waited like two seconds right I continued mastur B

29:17 she came right back in dude I had a hotel guy do

29:21 this to me like a couple months ago no way really I

29:24 was in Indianapolis a[ __] Indian man walked straight in the room

29:27 while I was jacking off a real Indian guy wow no uh

29:31 from India oh yeah yes oh yeah Hotel yeah definitely and he

29:35 so the guy at the front stood there for yeah he

29:38 stood there for a while oh yeah and I was like yo

29:40 you got to get out of here and then he stood outside

29:43 the door waited like 15 seconds and knocked oh wow I started

29:49 jacking off as soon as he left again I was jering

29:52 off again I hear a[ __] knock I was like dude get

29:54 the[ __] out of here what are you doing the crazy part

29:57 is imagine you walk over there with your wiener still in your hand

30:01 and look through that little peephole you know who somebody else

30:05 someone different than the guy I just screamed at with my[ __]

30:09 in my hand yeah hey get up I was also I I

30:13 was naked laying on top of the maid bed oh I didn't

30:16 even get under the covers it was right when I checked

30:17 in oh that's sad I just stripped down and went straight to it

30:21 you ever get canceled you're get to get canceled you think we'll

30:23 see how this episode does yes this is going all right yeah

30:28 I feel like do you feel like we said anything cancelable no

30:31 that's a good thing about you is it's like I can ask

30:33 you where are we at on the good okay okay good okay

30:37 we're good so far we're good we were getting close with the picking

30:41 up women and beating them to death although that was more me

30:44 than you I'll give you that I was here for the beat

30:46 him to death part was me yeah you said you could

30:48 just go around and pick them up and that you would you

30:51 wished you had lived back then so that you could drive around

30:53 and abduct women my friend said that no you said that I

30:56 don't know if I did oh I said it I believe you

30:59 said it I could have said it but I just I've been

31:03 watching these Ted Bundy things at night and looking at some

31:05 of his art work you know we did really good artwork a question

31:08 came in right here do you want to play this his artwor

31:12 oh he did a lot of artwork Miss loved ones I wish

31:18 I never dissed tell me about the passions that I never

31:21 kissed tell me that the love that we're living in tell me

31:25 how we're loving them we're hugging them if I told you about

31:28 the passion when I'm missing him now she's looking and she's cooking

31:32 that I'm pitching him now she's missing and she's bitching that I'm

31:35 pitching him and I'm missing at the fact i' be lifing them

31:39 smoke high all the time mad Rhymes you know we're doing crime

31:45 just to get paid from time to time ain't ain't really a bad