Zach Galifianakis | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend
Team Coco
0:03 Hi, my name is Zach Galifanakis and I
0:06 feel Zach Galifanakis about being Conan O'Brien's friend.
0:11 I have to say I feel up Zack Galifan.
0:15 You don't seem up.
0:21 Hey there and welcome to Conan O'Brien needs a friend joined by Sonum Obsian.
0:26 Hi.
0:26 And um wow, let's let's bump it up a little bit.
0:31 I wish you were I wish you were a voice on Siri and you're just like, "Hi,
0:37 there'd be no follow-ups for Siri.
0:39 What else can I help you with?" Forget it, Siri.
0:42 And uh David Hopping, you're a cheery chap.
0:45 Hello.
0:45 Good to see you.
0:45 You, too.
0:46 Sona, you asked me to do a lot of favors and I want to talk about this.
0:51 What?
0:51 Yeah, you do.
0:51 You ask me to do a lot of favors.
0:53 It's Can you do this for me?
0:54 Can you do that for me?
0:55 You know, it's Armenian this week and it's Armenian that week.
0:58 Can you do a thing for me?
1:00 And it's sometimes I want you to know that it's a little much.
1:03 You take advantage.
1:05 Can you do a blurb for my book?
1:07 Can you also write an intro then an outro?
1:09 I mean, what's going on?
1:10 Do you see me and just see a doormat?
1:12 Is that what you see?
1:12 Oh my god.
1:13 What if I get you a doormat and instead of saying welcome,
1:16 it's just my face cuz you walk all over it all the time anyway.
1:23 That's so unfair.
1:24 I'm so mad.
1:25 I hate asking you for favors.
1:27 I know.
1:27 Well, you don't hate it that much.
1:30 I'm sorry.
1:32 I'm How could you hate it that much?
1:34 Cackling so long.
1:35 You're like a bird saying, "I hate building a nest."
1:37 How many times do I tell you Conan agreed to do something for me?
1:40 Like, guess what?
1:41 I'm an owl saying I hate hooding.
1:48 I sure hate it.
1:50 Hoohoo.
1:52 23 hours later.
1:53 Hoohoo.
1:54 I sure hate it.
1:57 I mean, that's my impression.
1:59 If you were an owl and asking a favor was hooting, you'd be hooting a lot.
2:03 No, it's good.
2:04 It's good for you to explain it.
2:05 I
2:07 hate asking you for favors.
2:08 There are so many things people ask me to ask you that I specifically say
2:13 you filter stuff out.
2:15 Yeah.
2:15 How could there be more?
2:17 What are you talking about?
2:18 Do you know how much stuff?
2:19 First of all, it's your fault because you made me you put me on this podcast.
2:24 People know who I am now.
2:25 I'm attached to you for the rest of your life until you die.
2:28 And so
2:29 please.
2:29 That's not for months.
2:31 Oh, come on.
2:32 But it's it comes with I'm sorry you did it.
2:35 It's it's your it's you.
2:37 It's your fault.
2:39 You're a speech champion.
2:41 Oh, come on.
2:42 Uh listen, I listen.
2:45 I don't begrudge you anything.
2:46 And Yes, you do.
2:48 I do.
2:48 Of course I do.
2:49 I just made it the whole front of the show.
2:52 It's a lot.
2:53 And David, do I do a lot of favors for people?
2:55 You do a lot of favors for everybody, not just Sona.
2:59 Yeah.
2:58 What the David?
3:00 I'm just ask for that many favors.
3:02 You do favors for every You do favors.
3:04 Raise your hand if Conan's ever done a favor for you.
3:07 I actually never Aquaman figurine got stolen from your apartment.
3:10 You asked me to put up posters and I did.
3:13 I never.
3:13 Then when your Iron Man got stolen, I put up posters for that.
3:16 That's right.
3:16 He he offered.
3:17 Then when several hundred of your other figurines were stolen,
3:20 you asked me to call the police for you and I did.
3:22 That's right.
3:22 It was very nice.
3:22 I was just saying I never asked for favors,
3:24 but I know that you would help me out.
3:26 The only favor I've ever asked you for is when you were in my short film
3:28 and you did it and it was So don't say I you never asked me for
3:31 But that was But in 25 years, I've asked you for one thing.
3:34 Can I ask you to be in a movie you made?
3:36 That's a big favor.
3:38 I'm just saying you can't start by saying I never asked for favors
3:41 except for that one time when you did me a huge favor.
3:43 I'm trying to help you in your argument with Sona.
3:45 Why are you attacking me?
3:46 I'm When I see you, I just see red.
3:49 You're like a I'm a I'm a bull and you're a giant red blankie
3:54 that's flopping around in the wind.
3:55 You do a lot of favors for everybody and very I
3:58 don't know that you've ever asked any of us for a favor.
4:00 You know, BaskinRobins famously, I think, had 38 flavors.
4:03 I think I do more than 38.
4:07 That's our whole job.
4:07 Our whole job was doing stuff for you.
4:09 That's our whole job.
4:10 You get paid for that.
4:11 I know.
4:12 I got you your lunch today.
4:13 I ordered you a leave.
4:15 Can we talk about that?
4:17 Yeah.
4:17 Yeah.
4:17 Hey, if people know out there that I occasionally take a leave,
4:21 I don't know what you like to keep secret.
4:24 No, that's a secret.
4:25 I think we've all No one must know of my al leave.
4:28 You know, I that's why I always when I throw out my Alie bottles,
4:31 I always I always try to throw them out in someone else's trash
4:34 can cuz no one can know that I occasionally have some muscle stiffness.
4:38 I don't have time for this bid.
4:39 I'm angry right now.
4:40 I'm so mad right now.
4:41 Are you really?
4:42 Are you done with the Alif thing right now?
4:44 cuz I want to address this accusation you I'll leave it for now.
4:50 Home run.
4:51 Sometimes big things come in small packages.
4:54 I hear that all the time and I think,
4:55 yeah, but what are you what are you talking about?
4:57 Be specific.
4:58 I can never think of an example.
5:00 And then today I thought of one.
5:02 Check it out.
5:03 You may already know this, but Coca-Cola mini cans are now available.
5:07 They deliver big satisfaction in a small package.
5:10 Finally, something that fits that phrase.
5:13 You know, they're available as single serves at a convenience store near you.
5:18 These mini ones are perfect for me.
5:20 And guess what?
5:20 It's not just Coca-Cola.
5:21 Okay, are you a Fanta fan?
5:23 Do you like uh Sprite?
5:25 Do you like Cherry Coke?
5:26 Are you a loyalist for Cherry Coke?
5:28 I do love Cherry Coke.
5:30 I think you're the same way.
5:31 And many singles are available in all these options.
5:33 It's terrific.
5:34 So, take a mini break with Coca-Cola.
5:35 No planning or overthinking required.
5:38 Keep a mini can single in your backpack.
5:40 Stash one in the fridge.
5:41 Yeah.
5:42 You know, you can sneak one under your partner's pillow as a way of saying,
5:46 "I'm thinking of you." That is so nice.
5:49 Yeah.
5:49 If I did that, my wife would be like, "Hey, this is nice.
5:52 You love me.
5:53 You do love me after all." Yeah.
5:56 It's a mini that can bring some big can vibes.
5:58 It really can.
5:59 Oh, okay.
6:00 Coca-Cola mini can.
6:01 Big deal.
6:02 Now available on the go.
6:04 Okay.
6:04 Wait a minute.
6:05 There's too much to unpack here, as the kids say these days.
6:08 I hate that saying, but my wife uses it all the time.
6:10 Um, and sometimes she says it while we're unpacking
6:13 on the trip and then I think, oh, okay, whatever.
6:16 Anyway, uh, let's revisit this uh, later on on the show.
6:20 And, um, get to our next guest.
6:24 Okay.
6:23 My guest today is a very funny actor
6:25 and comedian who starred in The Hangover movies.
6:27 Now, you can see him in the new AMC series, The Audacity.
6:30 And he has a new gardening show called This is a Gardening Show.
6:35 How does he come up with these names?
6:37 He's truly one of the funniest people I know.
6:39 Zack Galifanakis, welcome.
6:46 When I walk into a room, I'm used to people,
6:48 I mean, even pretty big stars are like, "Whoa, it's him." You know,
6:53 and then I walked in today and you
6:56 your heart beats like one beat every two hours.
6:59 You were just sitting there totally unimpressed
7:01 that Conan O'Brien had walked into the room.
7:04 What would you like one to do when you enter?
7:06 No, I have not.
7:07 just seems insincere.
7:09 Whoa, look at that guy.
7:10 What up, brah?
7:11 So good to see you.
7:12 Hey, brah.
7:16 Yes, that's the real me.
7:17 Well, I mean,
7:19 um, we go way back.
7:21 I've known you for many years in a show biz way.
7:24 Early early days.
7:25 You used to come on my show and you were always hilarious.
7:28 And don't look at your watch.
7:30 Oh Jesus.
7:31 What the was that?
7:33 It time is moving slow.
7:36 That's so rude.
7:37 We can cut this short.
7:38 I was trying to compliment him about how funny he was.
7:41 And this is before America had Zach Galifanakis fever.
7:45 Um, this is back when they had Conan fever
7:48 and I lent some of my fever to Zach Galifanakis.
7:50 And then America had the very contagious Zach Galifanakis fever.
7:54 Yeah, I like to call it sizzle.
7:55 I still have a sizzle.
7:57 You sizzled and sazzled all the way sizzle through the late 90s, 2000.
8:01 Did you guys get my sizzle reel?
8:02 I sent it over.
8:03 We got your sazzle reel.
8:04 It's past tense.
8:06 the past tense of sizzle.
8:08 You sazzled back in the day.
8:09 I used to sazzle in the early 2000s.
8:11 No one sazzled like you.
8:15 You're not going to like this, but I uh I adore you.
8:18 I think you're a wonderful fellow.
8:20 Um and one of my uh latest one of my favorite
8:24 comedy uh pieces of uh work is your work on Betwern.
8:30 I think it's absolutely hysterical.
8:32 Thank you.
8:33 Um and endures and I resent you for that.
8:38 Well, that the enduring part.
8:41 Yeah.
8:41 Why?
8:41 Why are you resentful?
8:42 It does seem I know you joke about it, but I do think there's a tinge.
8:45 Oh, it's all real.
8:47 Yeah, I do think there is.
8:47 I resent you terribly because you are very funny and you are but but also
8:52 Is it my height?
8:53 Is that what you is that what you wish you were more like me about?
8:57 I do.
8:57 I wish I was closer to the earth.
8:59 My size of my head.
9:00 Is that what you wish you had?
9:02 Parking meter head, parking meter body, whatever this is.
9:06 Is that what you're upset about?
9:08 People try and put time in your head so
9:10 that they can keep their car there a little longer.
9:12 Is that what happens?
9:12 You wish you had a seven syllable last name.
9:16 I do.
9:17 No, you are very funny.
9:20 You're one of the funniest people I know.
9:21 And yet you seem grounded and I don't know how to do that.
9:26 I mean, this guy, um, he is of the earth.
9:31 He seems like he's got it all together.
9:33 Uh, he seems like he emotionally wants for nothing.
9:37 That doesn't seem fair.
9:38 I mean, yeah, I get some chops, but
9:43 but I'm constantly racked with these roing
9:46 season podcast turn into like a one-man show.
9:50 Like, the light should shift.
9:52 We don't need you to talk during this part.
9:54 In fact, you don't have to be here for this.
9:56 You're just here to get it started and then I do the rest.
10:00 Have you listened to the podcast?
10:02 It's pretty much me, yammering, and yammering.
10:04 I mean, you're really taking the floor here.
10:06 I am.
10:07 But I appreciate all that stuff.
10:08 I'll be serious for a second and then we'll go back to my oneman show.
10:12 You are uh hilariously funny and then very I I'm I'm
10:16 hardressed to think of anybody who's been less altered by success.
10:21 you um you just seem like if all of it went away tomorrow,
10:27 you'd be very happy and contained doing whatever you're doing.
10:30 And I love that about you.
10:31 I think that second part is correct.
10:33 I think I feel I I am one of these people
10:35 that feels very fortunate to be working and uh
10:40 but the first part about like having success or whatever being
10:45 known that threw me for a that really messed me up.
10:50 Not in a woe is me, but I just no one ever asked
10:54 me any questions until I was a in a movie with a monkey.
11:01 Yeah.
11:00 So, I just I found that to be odd that switch.
11:06 Yep.
11:04 And I was older and I think I just
11:08 the BS of this this business or whatever is it's always been laughable, too.
11:12 I'm from a small town.
11:14 I have a I I think I have a chip
11:16 on my shoulder when I moved here and I don't know.
11:20 I think that's kind of healthy,
11:20 but I it affected me for a while and I feel kind of embarrassed by it actually.
11:25 But yeah, I remember at the height of uh hangover mania.
11:30 Um I was went to some event someplace and there
11:36 were a bunch of it might have been like
11:38 on Hollywood Boulevard or I had to go into some
11:40 event and there were all these people outside the venue.
11:43 There was like a Spider-Man and there was a Superman, whatever, a Batman.
11:47 And there was a guy who I I thought it
11:49 was you for a second and I thought, "Oh, there's Zach.
11:52 I'll say hi." And then I realized it's not you.
11:56 It's a Zack Galifanakis impersonator with a fake baby and a baby Bujorn.
12:04 They do come true, don't they?
12:05 From the Yeah.
12:06 From the movie.
12:08 And it's so
12:09 I had a moment idea that you thought maybe that was me in the outfit
12:14 that from the movie I had but can I tell you something?
12:16 I didn't clock the outfit right away.
12:18 I just saw out of the corner of my And by the way,
12:21 you were known to promote that movie very hard but and all the sequels.
12:26 But no, I just had a moment of thinking because I know
12:29 you I know that that would have bummed you out to your core.
12:33 That would have Yeah.
12:34 But what you know what's interesting is as a I
12:38 wanted to do this experiment once and I had the wardrobe.
12:41 This was many years after we did the Hangover movies.
12:44 I had the wardrobe sent to me cuz I was
12:46 in Vegas and I wanted it to look like how pathetic it
12:51 was that the actor got into his outfit and was trying
12:54 to get recognized and I did it but no one came up.
12:58 It was so embarrassing.
13:00 Like it no one did it.
13:02 The experiment failed but uh yeah the the uh the hangover was big.
13:06 That was a big uh change,
13:08 right?
13:08 And but I do think it's good for people to hear from you
13:11 that because and we talk about this a lot on the pod, but
13:15 are you too busy to say podcast?
13:17 I am.
13:20 Yeah,
13:19 you should do a doc about that.
13:23 I don't have the tie to do it.
13:27 I'm fascinated by this idea that there's a lot
13:29 of envy about surrounding this crazy weird business and people thinking,
13:36 "Oh my god, that would all your dreams would come
13:38 true." And what I found is that it's a magnifying lens.
13:42 It just magnifies things.
13:43 So if you're insecure, you will become more insecure.
13:46 If you tend to be angry, you'll become a raaholic.
13:50 If you are uh someone who's capable
13:52 of feeling gratitude and appreciate the people around you,
13:55 those things can be enhanced.
13:56 But but I I do think there's a you know,
13:59 maybe so that's a good way of looking at it.
14:01 Yeah.
14:02 But I I was angry about it to be honest.
14:05 I but I I was intimidated by it because I thought as a comedian to not
14:12 be able to observe cuz you had too
14:14 many distractions of trying to hide or whatever.
14:17 It intimidated me and I I got weirded out by it.
14:21 But
14:22 now that I'm old, I like none of it matters and it you know who cares.
14:26 But it's uh it was a change.
14:28 It was a change.
14:29 Yeah.
14:29 I've always tried to picture because I know
14:31 that your success didn't happen right away and I
14:36 knew you for a bunch of years where you'd
14:38 come on our show uh and be really funny.
14:42 Um but the whole thing hadn't quite gelled or clicked yet.
14:47 Uh and then and I was this bus boy at a strip joint till I was 28.
14:53 Yes, I was going to get to that.
14:54 Yeah, you were you were I was and I
14:56 try to picture you in these real jobs in these
15:00 I hope so with with my briefcase.
15:03 Yeah, I do think that's a real job.
15:07 Going to work, honey.
15:09 No, but I had to wear like a Cumberbond.
15:11 It was like a fancy and it was a strip joint.
15:13 Yeah.
15:13 Uh on Park.
15:14 Uh you were in New York probably at this time.
15:16 It was called Stringfellows.
15:18 Yes.
15:18 So I worked there.
15:19 I had a table there.
15:20 Yeah.
15:20 I never saw you come in.
15:22 Thank goodness.
15:22 Um, no.
15:23 I I Yeah, it was a it was and and the guy that I
15:27 moved to New York New York with who we went to college together,
15:30 he was the cashier at the strip joint
15:32 and he ended up being Jimmy Fallon's headwriter, right?
15:35 80 Miles if you know 80 Miles.
15:37 So that's where all the best headwriters come from.
15:40 Um, cool.
15:41 Ain't that weird?
15:42 And well, I'm curious because I'm trying to picture you
15:45 in a situation where you have the comedy mind that you have,
15:51 but you're doing a job like that.
15:54 You're uh,
15:56 you know, you're working at a strip club.
15:59 Um, we say you were a bus boy.
16:02 Bus boy.
16:03 She wearing a cumber bun and and it had a crummer.
16:05 Do you know what a crummer is?
16:08 No.
16:07 It's a little metal stick that you take out
16:09 of your pocket and you get the crumbs off the table.
16:11 Oh yeah, for uh Wilt Chamberlain.
16:15 If Wilt Chamberlain had I think it I think he came came in a lot.
16:20 Maybe it was another 7 foot2 legend.
16:25 His name was Will Chamberlain.
16:26 He was 7'2 in tall, but it wasn't that Will Chamberlain.
16:30 Yeah, this guy was an accountant.
16:35 Yeah.
16:34 And a very good one.
16:36 Were you funny at that job?
16:38 And I bring it up because I know
16:40 that when I did jobs that weren't comedy related
16:44 early on, I was deadly serious to the point
16:47 where when they found out later on, oh, I just got a job writing.
16:50 I'm leaving.
16:51 They said, how you there's no way you're a comedy writer.
16:55 Cuz I was just dead serious.
16:58 Never made a joke.
16:59 Just did my work.
17:00 That makes sense.
17:01 I think it it comes with maybe being depressed.
17:03 I don't know.
17:03 What was your situation?
17:04 Uh the strippers were not nice to me at all.
17:08 I was really intimidated and the men in that went in there
17:10 were not the men that I would want to hang out with anyway.
17:13 So uh it was a weird situation.
17:16 I don't remember trying to be funny.
17:17 I'm sure with the others with Miles that was working there.
17:21 M I'll tell a story.
17:22 I think I've told this story hopefully not here before,
17:25 but um it's a fractured media.
17:27 No one's heard it.
17:27 Go ahead.
17:28 And no one will.
17:28 Uh, but Miles and I Miles and I were getting ready for work.
17:36 There was a snowstorm in New York.
17:37 It was a blizzard.
17:39 I'll never forget.
17:40 And it was in the mid '9s.
17:42 Um, and I'm putting my Cumberbutt on.
17:46 Miles had just lost $1,000 from the register.
17:49 It's it's mafy owned or was, I think.
17:52 And um, so he was so worried he had to go in and face the music.
17:57 He'd lost this lost it.
17:59 He wouldn't have taken it.
18:00 He lost it.
18:01 So, I'm putting my Cumberbun on and as I'm looking over,
18:04 I lived in his closet and I look up
18:07 and Miles is tying his shoe and he says to himself,
18:09 didn't want me to hear it,
18:11 knowing he had to go face the music, "This is worse than Bosnia."
18:17 Bosnia was going on at the time.
18:21 Yeah.
18:19 And that's what he compared.
18:23 And I'll never forget how wrong dramatic he's not wrong.
18:28 He's not wrong that owing Stringfellows $1,000
18:32 is worse than anything that happened in Boston.
18:34 Well, if you know that the mafia may
18:36 have and then what happened I think what happened?
18:39 We go to work and the feds came in.
18:42 They closed it down that day and that was it.
18:45 A mysterious tipped call came in.
18:47 Yes.
18:47 From a bus boy.
18:50 Yeah.
18:52 That's friendship.
18:52 Yeah.
18:53 But uh no, I was I was very serious at that job, I think.
18:56 Yeah.
18:57 We shot a bit once in Houston at like 2 in the morning at a strip club.
19:03 We'll be right back with the world's worst brager.
19:07 Yeah.
19:07 We were there to shoot some piece.
19:08 And so I'm there.
19:10 I think we were just trying to figure
19:12 out because my show in Houston at the time,
19:14 this is like 199596, aired at like 3:00 in the morning.
19:18 So, I went to places at 3:00 in the morning to figure out if I could
19:22 see anybody watching our show and and who's
19:24 up and watching TV at 3:00 in the morning.
19:26 And that it ended up being very funny.
19:28 I went to a bus station.
19:29 I went to an emergency room and I went to a strip club.
19:32 And you walk in and you see these beautiful naked women and you know
19:38 just my my head turned into a jukebox cartoon where all the cherries come up.
19:43 It's like ding ding ding ding ding ding ding and coins came out my mouth.
19:45 I was like L like all the cartoon stuff like steam coming out my ears.
19:49 I'm I can't believe it.
19:51 Within 15 minutes we had a problem with the camera and I'm we're trying
19:55 to figure it out and this completely naked beautiful woman who would have been
20:00 my fantasy in every way of 16 completely naked not wearing a stitch
20:04 of clothing comes up and starts to talk to me and I'm like I'm sorry.
20:08 Can you just give us some room?
20:10 Uh I got a we we got an issue with this camera and I'm kind of You mean who?
20:14 Me and you and your balls.
20:15 No, no, me and I am not that polite to my to my balls.
20:22 I imagine you were there by yourself.
20:24 You said, "Can you give us some room?" Yeah.
20:26 Pardon me.
20:26 Testicles.
20:27 Uh, no.
20:28 I have a very uh different relationship with my testicles.
20:32 But I No, I was remember being kind of irritated like, "Can't she step back?
20:36 We're trying to fix this lens." And I
20:38 was realizing that, oh my god, you get inured.
20:40 You get used to this this right away.
20:44 Like you're in there for 10 minutes and suddenly it's like,
20:46 "Come on, naked, gorgeous woman.
20:48 Can you GIVE ME A BREAK?
20:50 WE NEED TO GET THIS SHOT." And behind
20:53 the scenes there there's nothing like the women are
20:56 talking about how much they hate the men
20:58 that they have to like they they you know.
21:00 So it's not it's not thrilling backstage.
21:03 It's a whole different scene.
21:04 So that's where cuz strippers love me.
21:06 They just love me.
21:09 Oh.
21:08 Huh.
21:09 What?
21:09 I just I think I'm the one guy that when I go into a strip club,
21:12 they're just like, "Wow, I love him."
21:15 Conan, when is the last time you've been in a strip club?
21:19 1969,
21:20 right?
21:20 I was 6 years old.
21:24 Right.
21:22 I was conceived at one.
21:28 We won't go further into that story.
21:30 You know what I didn't know?
21:32 I Why did I not know that you were you were at Saturday Night Live?
21:36 You worked at Turnit Life for a very that two week.
21:39 Don't they do a twoe trial thing?
21:41 Sometimes
21:41 they do or I I heard I I don't know that's not how I came in.
21:45 But I remember thinking that we were on a two-e trial.
21:47 My writing partner Greg Daniels and I thinking it was a two-e trial.
21:50 But then later on someone said no,
21:53 you weren't a two-e trial, but you were a twoe trial.
21:57 I honestly when I got there, I thought I was I thought I got hired
22:00 as a cast member honestly because I had auditioned twice, right?
22:03 and and I was told, "You're gonna go and be a feature person." And I said,
22:07 "Great." And I got there and they said, "No,
22:09 you're you're actually gonna write." Which either way, it didn't matter to me.
22:13 I was just so thrilled that I had that opportunity.
22:16 It was um it was it was a tough two weeks.
22:23 Yeah.
22:22 Because the table reads, um I think even if you're, you know,
22:26 no people there, the table reads can be kind of brutal.
22:28 Y I just remember I wrote a sketch and it was
22:33 you could only hear the air conditioner in the room.
22:37 Yeah.
22:36 And I mean I've been like that on stage, you know, so I'm kind of used to it,
22:41 but there it was just and I remember
22:43 for some reason I was sitting next to Tina Fay
22:46 and I just remember her patting my shoulder
22:48 in a very calm not even not in a sarcastic way.
22:51 It was really calming and I'll never forget that.
22:53 It was actually meant a lot to me but it
22:55 was rough but I was thrilled to be there.
22:58 Yeah,
22:59 but you don't know what you're doing when you get there, right?
23:01 Like
23:02 it takes a second to figure it out.
23:04 And um it's not
23:08 so many shows I've worked on since and I, you know,
23:10 obviously loved my time at SNL and was so formative for me.
23:18 But I've very much liked working in late night all those years
23:25 because it felt like we were all working together a little more.
23:29 You know, there's so much show to fill.
23:31 There's for years it was, you know, 5 hours a week you've got to fill.
23:35 So, no one's there's no elbowing for room or real estate.
23:39 Do you know what I mean?
23:40 There's just if someone has a good idea,
23:41 everyone's like, "Oh my god, that's great.
23:43 Let's do it." No one's That's a really funny idea,
23:46 but I'm not going to laugh because
23:47 and and that's so SNL definitely much more competitive.
23:51 I don't know if it's like that as much anymore.
23:53 Might not be because when I went back to host I I noticed,
23:55 oh, it seemed much more um loose and friendlier.
24:02 Not that it wasn't friendly in the be when I was there for writing,
24:04 but uh but yeah, it was an honor to to do it.
24:07 I I I didn't have any bad feelings about it except for, you know,
24:10 the tumble weeds going across the the writer room.
24:14 Yeah.
24:14 And that feeling of when you put a sketch
24:17 in, if it's not working at read through,
24:21 you can see everybody flipping to see how many pages this is.
24:26 So, you'll have that moment.
24:27 You're not supposed to do that.
24:28 I do that all the time at table.
24:33 I'm always like, do I have any more parts to this scanning for my name?
24:38 You know, you know what's you're bringing something
24:41 that popped in my head and I don't know if you and I have ever talked about
24:44 this connection and maybe he doesn't want us to, but
24:48 uh Tommy Blotcher wrote on Conan, right?
24:50 Yeah.
24:51 Tommy, one of my favorite writers of all time.
24:52 Yeah.
24:53 I think he happens to be the funniest person I think I've ever met.
24:56 Like he's that
24:59 funny.
25:00 And I knew that he left your show
25:02 to go write on for professional wrestling, right?
25:07 Yes.
25:06 He um he worked with us back in the '90s and I knew him through Andy Richtor
25:11 from Chicago.
25:12 Probably from Chicago.
25:13 And he brought and for a while Tommy didn't say
25:16 anything and he was super quiet and I just thought,
25:20 well, I wonder if this guy's going to work out.
25:22 I don't know.
25:22 And then um he revealed himself in the writer
25:25 room and on paper to be the funniest guy.
25:29 I gave him a shout out on Stern once because I was on Stern and Stern was kind
25:32 of talking to me about so you must just
25:34 hire like Harvard Lampoon guys and I said no.
25:38 He was like a army guy.
25:39 Yeah.
25:39 I said one of the funniest guys I've ever one
25:42 of the funniest writers I've ever known I don't think went to college.
25:45 Are you talking about Tommy?
25:46 And I was talking about Tommy and he said who is that?
25:48 And I said Tommy Blotcha.
25:50 Um so he uh really brilliantly funny guy.
25:56 He he his he's he's on a level that I I
25:59 mean the same level I would put you on which is
26:01 this we used to do this bit back and forth to each
26:04 other where it was just really this just the dumbest person right
26:09 and cuz Tommy's really good at dumb and and it would be like uh
26:12 what about drinking coffee or something
26:14 like it was always the most obvious
26:16 and it always filled up follow with or something.
26:19 Yeah.
26:19 Or something.
26:20 So one night Tommy's had to spend the night
26:22 at my house and we were both working together.
26:24 We had to get up early the next morning for work
26:26 and he's in the next room over and it's 7:00 in the morning.
26:30 I'm up and I'm just kind of ba basically waking up
26:33 and I hear Tommy say under his breath as he's waking up,
26:36 "What am I awake or something?"
26:40 And I fell in love with him.
26:41 I fell in love with him.
26:43 Yeah.
26:43 Yeah.
26:44 And I used to beg like he would make me
26:46 laugh so hard like I didn't want to leave him.
26:48 It was so he he This is one of my proudest happy moments.
26:52 He for I would do all these riffs in the writer
26:56 room that outrageous over-the-top where I would almost play this over-the-top
27:02 host who's incredibly abusive and I would come into a room
27:05 and someone would start to talk and I would say play.
27:08 Yeah.
27:08 But I I remember at a time I was on this jag of saying like,
27:10 "Why don't you ho have a big tall glass
27:12 of shutup juice?" And um it was just a really stupid
27:15 childish put down that I was doing and I would
27:18 do it whenever someone was taking a swig of something.
27:20 I'd be like, "Oh, a little more." Just after they had pitched something,
27:23 I'd be like, "Oh, a little more shut up juice, huh?
27:25 Wet the whistle with some." And um they Tommy left cuz he
27:31 was going to go write for professional wrestling and he told me,
27:35 "Hey, you got to tune in.
27:36 Um I wrote this for The Rock." He's
27:39 taunting one of his opponents and he tells him,
27:41 "Why don't you go have a tall glass of shutup juice?"
27:45 And I was so thrilled and I watched it and sure
27:48 enough the rock was like hey I'll tell you something
27:50 and he's got like he's like maybe you should just go have
27:52 a long glass tall glass shut up juice AND AND THEN
27:57 THEY CUT TO PEOPLE in the arena and they're like holding
27:59 their HEADS LIKE THE ROCK GOT HIM AND THEN I think
28:03 the following week someone had a sign that said shut up juice
28:07 and I was in heaven.
28:09 No one knew.
28:10 I didn't care if anyone knew that was me or not.
28:12 And then those are the kind of things that make me uh super happy and sure.
28:17 So so Tommy
28:19 um
28:19 one of the funniest such a funny guy.
28:21 I'm curious like you and these other jobs.
28:23 It's interesting to me that which I totally understand
28:27 you're not being the Zach Galifanakis that people would know.
28:32 You're just grimly doing your job and trying to do it well which would describe
28:36 probably you and I mean I know that you were a nanny for a while doing
28:40 I was a house cleaner cleaning department in New York for a couple years.
28:44 Uh yeah I was pretty you know I'm a pretty I'm pretty quiet I
28:48 think and then the comedy scene kind of maybe broke me out of my shyness,
28:53 I think, uh, somewhat as I performed more.
28:56 I got a little bit more comfortable with that stuff.
28:58 But, uh, yeah, those jobs will humble you.
29:01 I mean, I I I moved to New York wanting not my I
29:06 didn't want my parents to have to like send me anything, right?
29:09 Uh, and they never did.
29:11 And I was pretty independent, but my father,
29:14 he would send me things in the mail.
29:15 I'm like, I go run to the mailbox.
29:17 Oh god, I hope this is food.
29:19 I hope this is food.
29:20 and then open it and it was always irregular underwear
29:26 and just open it in the post office like it was light.
29:30 I mean maybe he was sitting maybe potato chips but it was always irre irregular
29:35 valuable was wrapped in it you know I don't know
29:39 irregular underwear.
29:40 Yeah it's it's cheap.
29:42 My dad was cheap.
29:44 I want to talk about Mother's Day.
29:45 You came to mind.
29:46 You're a mom.
29:47 I'm a mom.
29:48 I'm the uh godfather to your two boys.
29:50 Yep.
29:51 Maybe the most important adult figure in their lives.
29:54 Oh, okay.
29:55 I don't remember there being a godfather's day.
29:58 Well, it's a good there's a good point.
30:00 There should be.
30:00 But that's not what I want to talk about.
30:02 David and I wanted to get you something and so I thought, hey, you know,
30:05 we're big fans of Macy's and Macy's online gift guide has
30:09 some great ideas and so I asked David to check that out
30:12 and come up with some notions for you.
30:15 Well, that's really nice.
30:16 Thank you, David.
30:17 Of course.
30:18 It's my money.
30:18 Well, thank you, David.
30:19 I mean, he did the leg work.
30:21 My money.
30:21 And you're going to be happy because we didn't get you just one thing or two.
30:24 We got you three things for Mother's Day.
30:27 All right.
30:28 I was afraid.
30:29 I was afraid this would spoil you uh
30:31 getting three things cuz next year you'll be like,
30:33 "No, I want four." But anyway, David.
30:36 All right.
30:36 If I can have your attention to the screen.
30:37 The first thing for Mother's Day,
30:38 we got you a Michael Kors Nolita large hobo shoulder bag.
30:42 Michael Kors, you know, that's good stuff.
30:44 Yeah, I like hobo stuff, too.
30:45 I feel like you need a big bag.
30:46 I do have a lot of things to carry.
30:49 And also Sona likes to go to a restaurant and maybe take a few rolls
30:52 or a dessert and sometimes a salt and pepper
30:54 shaker that'll fit nicely into this Michael Kors bag.
30:58 Next up, we have the Oracle Jet Automatic Espresso Machine by Brevel.
31:02 That is nice.
31:03 Brevel.
31:03 Uh, great machine.
31:05 And look at that thing.
31:06 It's gorgeous.
31:07 Make any any coffee you want.
31:09 You're cool with this cuz this is 2000 with it.
31:11 I have the card.
31:12 He's cool with it.
31:12 Thank you.
31:12 Thank you.
31:13 Thank you.
31:13 I didn't know it was that much,
31:14 but I don't even say that much cuz that's brevel.
31:17 That's quality stuff.
31:18 That is good stuff.
31:19 I don't even drink coffee, but I just want it.
31:21 Well, also, wouldn't that look cool on your counter?
31:23 It would.
31:24 And also, doesn't your husband doesn't tack coffee?
31:26 He does, but he doesn't drink like fancy coffee until now.
31:29 Until now.
31:30 And the third thing, we got you a Mezz 10.1 in digital calendar and photo frame.
31:35 Yeah.
31:35 He asked me, "How big should it be?" And I said, "Do they have 10.1 in?"
31:39 And he said, "Actually, they do."
31:42 That's so spicy.
31:43 You can sync um you know Conan's calendar if you want to know what he's up to.
31:46 If you want to know what I'm up to, which you
31:48 don't seem that interested in these days and I still employ you.
31:50 It's weird.
31:51 And I still have access to all that information.
31:53 I just choose not to look at it.
31:55 These are great gifts.
31:56 These are all for you for Mother's Day.
31:58 Well, thank you.
31:59 Or does she choose one?
32:00 Oh, I we said all three.
32:02 Thank you, David.
32:03 Kind of think next time I I didn't say yes to all three.
32:06 A lot of parameters.
32:07 I really didn't, but you could use common sense.
32:09 That's always the best parame.
32:11 It's Mother's Day.
32:12 So, no, I want you to have these.
32:14 And um and a big thanks to Macy's.
32:17 They've got this great online gift guide.
32:19 And David, thanks to you for doing what I probably should have done on my own.
32:23 Yeah.
32:23 But I'm too entitled.
32:24 Keeps me employed.
32:25 All right.
32:26 Uh there you go.
32:26 Let Macy's be your guide to gifting for Mother's Day.
32:29 Shop now, online, or in store.
32:31 I also think there's something to I used to think about this a lot.
32:35 When people get to know me and know my rhythm, this will be a little easier.
32:40 And I think that would be very true of you.
32:42 I mean, I always thought you would come on our show back in the day and people
32:47 didn't know you and you'd sit at a piano and you would tell these great jokes,
32:53 but you never winked.
32:55 You never, you know,
32:57 shot them a look like you never ingratiated yourself with the crowd.
33:01 You just completely went in and they had to accept you as you were.
33:06 And I think you have to do that for a while
33:10 in order to have people meet you halfway.
33:12 I think that's a I think you're right.
33:14 I also think if comedically I should say only.
33:17 I've always thought it's more interesting if you're just doing a standup
33:21 bit like that to have kind of a disdain for the audience.
33:24 You know, I I I never was like, "Hi, I'm going to tell you something like that.
33:28 Friendly.
33:28 All right, let's tell." See, standups come out like,
33:31 "What's up, Miami?" God, that's a lot of you want to know how Miami is doing.
33:38 Um, Miami concern or interest.
33:41 I respect the audience,
33:42 but I I I the the relation now performers have a performers
33:47 have a real relationship with the audience via social media that
33:51 that too I've never participated in.
33:53 I I don't that's a weird I don't know how to do that.
33:56 Yeah.
33:57 I think the um it's called you have
33:59 something that I'm not too familiar with called dignity
34:04 and a high
34:05 tell you a lot of stories that would go against that.
34:08 Well, I mean we've talked about it.
34:10 I won't go into it, but I do think
34:12 that was particularly helpful to you when you did your famous
34:16 uh uh Between Two Ferns uh interview with Obama because
34:22 you're the only person that that gave him I mean,
34:26 you know, I know that this in any way was just you doing your comedy,
34:31 but you were so rude as that person and it's hilarious.
34:40 Because I don't think anyone's talked to certainly a sitting
34:44 president or even in this time, no one's talked to
34:48 podcasters that have had the president on now,
34:50 they don't do their court gesture.
34:51 They don't do it.
34:52 They just they suck up to him.
34:55 Yeah.
34:54 So the comedians
34:57 that have had that are podcast that have
34:59 had Trump on, that's they're not doing their job.
35:02 Yeah.
35:03 Yeah.
35:03 They're that's not the job of a comedian.
35:05 You are to challenge.
35:07 You are to make uncomfortable.
35:08 You're not to sit there and fake laugh.
35:12 Y that is not the job of the court jester.
35:14 Yeah.
35:14 Period.
35:14 So there is a difference.
35:17 People were actually somebody yesterday was talking to me about
35:19 that about you know political influence through comedy and all that stuff.
35:23 I I'm more interested in the comedy first.
35:26 Me too.
35:26 You know yeah and whatever their whatever their motive is fine.
35:32 But you but but the comedy has to come first.
35:35 I remember when um I interviewed Hillary Clinton
35:38 and I could tell she didn't want to be there.
35:39 And I totally get that.
35:41 I I get it.
35:43 But before we had set that whole thing up, they they wrote back, "Well,
35:46 you can't bring up those emails." And I go, "Well,
35:48 we don't have to do the interview." I totally That's fine.
35:52 We won't do it.
35:55 Yeah.
35:54 When you tell powerful people, no, it's crazy.
35:58 They were like, "Okay, we'll do it.
35:59 Well, you can ask because it's not that important to me
36:03 to do it the way they want to do it.
36:06 You have to if you're going to come in a comedy,
36:07 you got to the way we want to do it.
36:10 Also, what a I I I see this all the time
36:13 and I've seen it for years and years and years and years.
36:16 People not understanding that if they go to the supposedly
36:19 vulnerable place and have a sense of humor about it, it is magical for them.
36:25 People see they have a sense of humor.
36:27 They see that they can take a joke.
36:30 I mean, no one walked away from your interview with Obama and thought,
36:32 "Wow, you really showed him." He got to be hilarious.
36:36 He sat there and entered your world of, you know,
36:41 um, being intentionally ignorant about who he is,
36:43 what he does, cutting him off, um, being insanely rude,
36:48 and gave it back to you in equal measure.
36:50 and you looked at you like this is a great piece
36:52 of comedy and I know it reflects well back on the president
36:57 and our current president would do well to understand that to understand
37:02 that you know if he let himself be the butt of the joke
37:06 it's humanizing I know it is impossible
37:07 you wouldn't do it with him it would it wouldn't work
37:09 it wouldn't work I I I have I'm just saying in an alternate universe if we're
37:14 talking about a different human being they would see
37:18 I think I think at the that uh
37:20 that there's this misconception that oh the media just
37:25 wants to go after conservatives um and they don't
37:28 understand that everyone benefits when they laugh at themselves.
37:32 That's right.
37:33 Period.
37:35 Yes.
37:34 Everyone wins.
37:35 Yes.
37:35 If you laugh at yourself,
37:37 it humanizes you and like pherommones are released and humans think that's
37:42 a good human who and and when you refuse to let that happen,
37:47 that's not projecting strength, it's projecting weakness.
37:50 I agree 100%.
37:51 But there's also there's also the math
37:55 of comedy to me sometimes where the punching down
38:00 that the rights seems to do some and I don't want to get political here but the
38:05 that's not as funny to me as taking on the powerful like the math of it
38:12 doesn't work for me
38:14 like to take on some pe marginalized people make fun of that listen
38:19 I'm all for humor I can defend it but that mathematically.
38:22 So you that's why you don't see a lot of comedy that comes out
38:27 of the like the I mean the right you just it's hard to do.
38:31 I don't I'm not saying suggesting you cannot.
38:34 It's just difficult to do because of the dynamics.
38:37 Yeah.
38:39 Yeah.
38:38 Greg Gutfeld.
38:42 What a hilarious guy.
38:46 You got him.
38:47 I don't know they'll show up to work again.
38:49 Um,
38:51 I always love imagining these people being completely unhinged
38:55 by a comment on a podcast or, you know,
38:58 someone did a sketch about them on SNL and they're just completely unhinged.
39:02 I'm sure
39:02 they can no longer That's all for That's all for clicks, though.
39:08 You know what I mean?
39:08 It's It's fake.
39:10 That's boring.
39:10 The whole the whole everyone commenting on everything.
39:15 Yeah.
39:15 And everyone has to um wait did Sabrina Carpenter just slightly misspeak
39:22 at a performance uh at Coachella or does can we make that into something?
39:28 Yes, we can.
39:30 And then she'll apologize and I think she's a fantastic performer.
39:34 She makes a lot of people happy.
39:36 I actually don't think she did anything wrong.
39:38 She couldn't hear what the person in the audience was saying.
39:41 There was no harm, no foul here, but people got a 24-hour news cycle out of it.
39:46 And it's just I mean, strange, you know.
39:49 The the other thought that too is it's interesting.
39:53 Um people from the right or whatever you want to say,
39:56 they're always like, "Shut up entertainers,
39:58 you're just entertainers." And I kind of get
40:00 that because I'm from the south and you know,
40:03 but I always think Yeah.
40:05 But you guys say that to us entertainers, but you elect the entertainers.
40:12 Yeah.
40:12 Clint Eastwood, Donald Trump, Arnold Schwarzenegger,
40:15 Fred Thompson, Gopher from the Loveboat.
40:18 I mean, I could go.
40:19 His name is Fred Grandandy.
40:20 I could go on and on.
40:22 Sunny Sunny Bono.
40:23 I mean, little it goes on and on.
40:25 So, it's always interesting to me that they point that out,
40:29 but then they they fall then they they're
40:32 the ones that hire or elect the entertainers.
40:36 Yeah.
40:37 Yeah.
40:36 I think even more so than the other side, so I don't know.
40:39 It's very uh very odd all of it.
40:42 But it was a good run.
40:44 Oh, no.
40:46 We're wrapping it up.
40:47 Are we calling it?
40:47 We're calling it.
40:48 Well, 250 is a good time to call it, you know, um Yes.
40:52 250.
40:53 200.
40:53 I don't feel any Is anybody celebrating?
40:56 I think they're going they're going to Well,
40:58 there's plans to build giant monuments.
41:00 Uh I think the triumphal arch was going to be uh for the 250th, I think.
41:05 Okay, good.
41:05 We just got to get that thing built.
41:06 This is going to sound controversial and I don't want to.
41:12 When Trump did that Jesus thing, I was the turning point for me.
41:15 I was like, I kind of like him.
41:20 Oh,
41:19 like him.
41:20 Oh, you you Okay.
41:23 What do you think?
41:23 think am I off?
41:25 No, I think you're off.
41:26 He wasn't Jesus.
41:27 He was a doctor.
41:28 Well, he Yeah.
41:29 His excuse was, um, those Yeah.
41:31 I was a doctor who wears a robe and a red sash and has like a light behind him.
41:39 He was a Red Cross.
41:41 Oh, man.
41:41 Uh, he's a very good nightclub comic.
41:44 Uh, I was watching your gardening show and I want to mention
41:49 this cuz it's called This is a gardening show and one of the
41:54 like title.
41:54 Yeah.
41:54 He was up all night thinking of that title and um
41:57 actually we spent about 400 titles back and forth.
42:00 Oh, really?
42:01 Between two farms.
42:02 I mean, it was like, you know, all these play on words.
42:06 It was so then then the producer emails me and goes,
42:11 "The first thing you say is this is a gardening show." Yeah.
42:14 Why don't we just call it and say,
42:15 "Okay." But yeah, that's that's how we got to the title.
42:17 Well, you you know what I I love cuz I've known for years that you
42:21 hang out on Vancouver Island and then to get to see you in your habitat
42:27 is very cool.
42:27 I mean, first of all, it's beautiful, but getting to see you,
42:31 I I I knew that you were a very uh sort of an outdoorsy guy.
42:36 I didn't know specifically how important gardening was to you.
42:40 The show is really funny and you get to be you
42:43 obviously cuz you are you and there's no fixing that now.
42:47 But the but just getting to see you in that world, I totally get it.
42:53 I I you you like to get up in the morning and tend to plants.
42:57 I love it.
42:58 I I It's strange how much I mean I've been always been a hobby.
43:02 It was been my hobby, I guess.
43:05 Um for 20 plus years, but now that I have some some space,
43:10 I've been building a a a garden.
43:12 And I I just do I mean I have uh
43:14 a hundred little pumpkin seedlings in my greenhouse right now
43:17 that when I get back to to Canada I'll put
43:19 in the ground and that'll probably produce 200 pumpkins for the year.
43:23 I that kind of stuff.
43:25 It's I I can't tell you how much I love it.
43:28 It's it's a feeling
43:31 that I feel like as humans it's part of us but we got away from it.
43:36 Yeah.
43:35 We we we dis because because
43:37 technology and convenience has overtaken everything.
43:40 where pushing buttons is soulless.
43:43 There's nothing there for me.
43:46 And I I wanted to do this show for several reasons.
43:50 One, you know, when you watch documentaries about where we are climate wise,
43:54 you hear there's 64 harvests left.
44:00 Okay, maybe that's not true, but what if it is,
44:04 right?
44:04 what you know this is these are there's
44:06 a there these are scientists that are saying this 64 harvests left
44:11 so pe I see some people acting like oh my god what are
44:14 we going to do what are we going to do and then I see
44:15 some people don't care so I don't know I'm just going to go
44:18 with what my gut feeling is which is maybe kids need to know this stuff
44:24 wait till the Russians shoot down the satellites
44:29 it's just a quote from the south I heard
44:31 recently that I was like yeah I believe you.
44:34 I actually believe that.
44:36 That what I believe
44:37 and think about that.
44:40 Yeah.
44:39 Right.
44:39 So all of these I feel like the safety
44:42 might not be there for the next generation.
44:44 So I'm and this is not an altruistic thing I'm trying to say.
44:48 It's just a practical thing.
44:49 Uh our food even if nothing happens even let's say everything stays normal.
44:54 Well our food and where we get it and and how what
44:57 we know about it is um we don't have a relationship with food.
45:01 A lot of us don't.
45:02 Right.
45:02 Right.
45:03 Well, we've been removed from, you think about it,
45:07 uh, birth, death, food, and where it's coming from.
45:11 We're primal parts of our existence for so long.
45:15 I mean, they're just, you know, printed into our DNA as we evolved.
45:19 And then within the last few generations,
45:22 we've completely removed ourselves from it.
45:25 And I'm going to be completely honest with you,
45:26 like I know nothing about gardening.
45:30 I know nothing about where my food comes from.
45:31 I say to David, I want to get that and you were like,
45:34 "All right." And you get it and it comes and I
45:36 shove it in my face really quickly and with great hate
45:40 and um
45:41 but it's the same thing about death.
45:42 Like we're not we're not People used to live and die in their home
45:46 and people used to be there for it and now everything's kind of farmed out.
45:51 So yeah, it's
45:52 but it's a medicine too.
45:53 It's not just It's just not It's not altruistic.
45:56 You do it for yourself.
45:58 Yes, absolutely.
45:59 I mean, I look, I'm a little chubby guy,
46:02 but I love eating fresh vegetables and fruits out of the garden.
46:05 It's like it's it's a high for me.
46:07 It just is.
46:08 So, there's a there's many elements to it,
46:10 but I'm saying it's a medicine to be in the garden.
46:14 Yeah.
46:13 It's healthy to be
46:15 It's also when you talk about,
46:17 you've spoken about this for a while and you mentioned it today,
46:21 the kind of allergic reaction you have to bullshittery of show business.
46:28 Well,
46:28 and and in in some of it,
46:30 um there's obviously great parts of it and then there's
46:32 parts of it which can actually feel like a toxin.
46:35 That's poison and honey.
46:36 Yeah.
46:37 I I I felt this I got a chance um Danny Harrison,
46:42 George's son, invited me to come see George's home,
46:45 Frier Park, and I went and so much of it
46:48 are George Harrison's were his gardens where he grew things.
46:52 And I've seen footage of him
46:54 in various documentaries just tending to his gardens
46:57 and tending to his sunflowers and tending to the things he was growing.
47:00 And I thought, oh, and you know, he Danny said, yeah,
47:04 he told him once, you know, Denny said, "Let's go into town.
47:08 Let's leave Frier Park and go into town." And his father said,
47:11 "Why would we do that?
47:12 Why would we go out there?
47:14 It's insane out there."
47:16 If you look at all the footage of his life in the 60s and 70s,
47:19 it was screaming and madness.
47:20 Mhm.
47:21 This was the antidote.
47:24 Interesting.
47:23 And I think you've experienced being in the nose cone of the rocket and there
47:30 are people who are making a living pretending
47:32 to be you hanging outside of Planet Hollywood.
47:35 That you know that's and like we got to get us a Zack Galanas for the party.
47:41 I got one.
47:42 I got one too.
47:43 Well, bring them both.
47:44 You know, it's such a nice antidote
47:47 to find those places where you can grow apples.
47:54 Well, I I also think it's possible in the cities.
47:59 I mean, when you guys all leave today,
48:00 I want you to pay attention to how much concrete is around you versus greenery.
48:05 Just just just
48:06 just think about it.
48:08 Yeah.
48:08 It's as it's crazy.
48:09 It's really crazy.
48:10 I mean, I think humans biggest mistake was fighting
48:13 nature instead of working with we're going to conquer it.
48:16 Well, no, you're not.
48:18 No, you're not.
48:19 It's going to win.
48:20 And it looks like it's definitely going to win.
48:23 So, you have to respect it and honor it.
48:25 If there's a God that made all this stuff, why would
48:29 why not respect it and the other the things that this God has made?
48:34 That's coming from someone that has no idea if there's a God or not.
48:37 But if there is, why is it the simplest thing
48:40 to respect the earth and the humans and the animals on it?
48:43 Other than that, what is there?
48:47 Yeah.
48:46 I mean, this where humans are going with AI.
48:52 I mean, I guess I don't know if I'm
48:53 oldfashioned or I'm I maybe it's cuz I'm 56 now,
48:56 but I think this whole AI thing and I don't mean for medicine.
48:59 I don't It's got a lot of great things.
49:02 Otherwise though, I think it's another like biblical
49:05 in the biblical term of biting the apple again.
49:08 I just am very afraid of it.
49:12 Yeah.
49:12 Not and not even for show business re I'm not even talking.
49:15 I'm just saying in general I don't trust it.
49:19 Mhm.
49:18 At all.
49:18 And especially the dudes that are designing it.
49:23 Yeah.
49:23 There's a real problem.
49:26 Yeah.
49:26 Because these dudes, how do I say it?
49:32 They have math minds.
49:34 Suck.
49:34 They have math minds.
49:36 You know what I mean?
49:36 They have math minds.
49:38 And that's good.
49:41 But there's very little wisdom coming out of that pocket of the world.
49:44 Almost none.
49:47 Yeah.
49:46 And we're just running.
49:47 All of us are running in that direction.
49:50 The media, the the media loves AI.
49:53 The media loves social media because it causes more of this.
49:57 Yeah.
49:57 I love when CNN they'll have a reporter on going
49:59 they'll do a report on social media and how bad
50:01 it is for someone and then after the report Jake
50:03 Tapper gets on and go follow me on Twitter asinine.
50:08 Have you no self-reflection?
50:11 Well, even how we communicate through text uh there's not a sarcastic font,
50:16 right?
50:17 And people are not good enough writers to to do it through text
50:21 as a comedian to get back lol is really diminishing returns.
50:27 I so I think the way we have let robots do
50:32 this for us has also made us a little bit off.
50:39 Yeah.
50:38 I just do.
50:39 Um, I worry about the lack of human connection with that stuff.
50:43 And maybe I'm maybe it just is not as needed as we think it is.
50:46 I I don't know.
50:47 I I mean, I really don't know.
50:49 But this world, this tech stuff, um,
50:52 has always I've always thought about I've always worried about it.
50:55 Especially when social media came about and MySpace
50:58 and all this when it was done, you could do it anonymously.
51:03 That's a weird start for anything.
51:06 So the weirdos running this thing and good weirdos.
51:09 I don't mean they're all bad weirdos,
51:12 we need to something something there needs to be a guard rail
51:15 and I think politically nothing changes
51:17 in the states until they regulate the internet.
51:20 Yeah, I do think not so we can sit here and talk good luck.
51:25 It could work for both sides, right?
51:26 It just depends on who's going to control it the the messaging.
51:30 But you're I see how people scroll on planes.
51:32 I'm like, that's how people get their new we're we're screwed.
51:36 Yeah.
51:37 I do think I'm always try to be slightly optimistic.
51:41 It's my default setting.
51:43 I do think that if you look at the history of huge technological advances,
51:49 including like the printing press, you know,
51:51 uh and how that revolutionized things.
51:54 In the early days, it's rough going
51:57 uh when people are handed a brand new superpower.
52:01 And we are at the beginning of this.
52:03 And I do think if we survive it, there will be guard rails.
52:06 There will be people that say, "Oh, no,
52:08 you can't have a a kid can't have a tablet.
52:11 We've figured it out.
52:13 They can't have it till they're 14."
52:15 Um, and that's a law, you know, or you can't
52:18 It's like how a city like a city can
52:20 be built and there's like crap in the streets,
52:23 the sewage is all wrong, and then as it ages, they fix the problem.
52:26 You know, we're at the okay corral phase where drunks are punching each
52:30 other through the swinging doors of the bar and landing in the mud.
52:33 People are shooting their guns in the air going kneeha.
52:36 That's where we are.
52:37 But you think it's going to need a regulation to get to there?
52:40 Do do you think the government Yeah.
52:42 Yeah.
52:42 I think it's And I think it's going to do it.
52:44 But you know what it does?
52:45 It comes through just this hard experience and and humans do.
52:49 If they put their hand on the stove enough times, they learn not.
52:53 We need a rule about putting our hands on the stove.
52:56 I hope you're right.
52:57 There's an add there's an addiction there's
52:59 an addiction thing here too that we have it
53:01 that's the other thing is the addiction part and that addiction is designed
53:07 listen you read the read the have you read the Facebook whistleblower
53:11 book uh you need her it's unreal I read it twice it's fascinating
53:18 so they know that they're making it addictive so
53:20 that's the problem I think maybe with the comparing
53:24 it to the old technology sure you're right Think
53:27 the printing press of course it it changed the world.
53:29 Technology is what changes humans the most.
53:34 Political correctness for example has always been in comedy for the last 30.
53:37 It just has.
53:39 The difference is the technology.
53:41 The audience talks back now.
53:44 Mhm.
53:43 And comedians you got to be okay with it.
53:45 That's the only thing that's changed.
53:48 Not
53:49 not political cor that did not for sure.
53:53 It happened many many years ago.
53:55 But what really changed is if someone comes and sees
53:58 you live and they don't like it and you've said something,
54:01 they're going to either videotape it or get it.
54:05 So it's weird.
54:06 It's It's all very strange.
54:09 Yeah.
54:08 But then I see people on their computers all
54:11 the time and like they never do anything else
54:14 and my mind goes, "Well, when the end of the world comes, they're the ve."
54:20 Well, you know what?
54:20 It's soft.
54:21 It's soft.
54:22 Soft meat.
54:22 It's a soft meat.
54:23 So we might need them.
54:26 No,
54:26 we're going to eat
54:27 all the ve up in Silicon Valley.
54:30 We're coming to eat you, boys.
54:32 The way you describe it, we're going to eat very well.
54:36 I mean, I want I want this to happen sooner rather than later.
54:38 But also, we're humans.
54:39 We're animals, right?
54:40 Like, we need to move and think and talk and blah blah blah.
54:45 This is It's too It's too much.
54:49 Yeah.
54:48 It's making people nuts.
54:50 It just is.
54:51 Well,
54:52 I think it's making people mentally.
54:53 I do.
54:54 I think it's making people mental.
54:56 I I do I mean I do things now where I like brick my phone.
55:00 I've I've given people Well,
55:02 there's a device called the brick where you can turn off a bunch
55:05 of apps so that in order to go turn them back on.
55:09 It's called the brick, but you and I use that all the time now.
55:11 Do you have email on your phone?
55:13 I do.
55:14 Take it off.
55:14 It's too late.
55:15 Oh, well, no, you can take it off.
55:18 No, I never I can't imagine having email on my phone.
55:20 It's so like that's asinine to me.
55:23 Uh what about and and you're including text too.
55:25 No text.
55:26 If I knew how to get rid of text, I would.
55:27 I don't know how to get rid of it.
55:30 Yeah.
55:29 We're in a time of overcommunication, right?
55:32 So my brother
55:33 he says on a podcast my brother Well, exactly.
55:36 But my brother's like texting me over Christmas.
55:38 Got those paper towels you asked.
55:39 I don't need you to text me that you got them.
55:45 I don't need that update.
55:48 It's insanity.
55:49 You know, I've noticed too is that someone will text you like,
55:51 "How's it going?" And if you don't text them,
55:54 it's the person who maybe 20 minutes went by and they're like,
55:59 "WHAT THE YOU ALIVE?" YOU'RE LIKE, "I was it was 3:00 IN THE MORNING.
56:03 WHAT'S GOING ON?" Because they're so used to getting an immediate dopamine hit.
56:08 Yes.
56:08 That they forget they're talking to someone who isn't
56:11 walking around looking at their phone all the time.
56:13 So, I get a lot of my texts are, "Did you die?" or something.
56:16 And it's like, "Well, no." I mean, I see teenagers on planes and the mental
56:21 illness that they're doing with their faces.
56:25 Mhm.
56:23 Like changing it for 3 hours staring at a phone.
56:29 Yeah.
56:29 Uh, you know, you're supposed to be bored.
56:31 You're supposed to be.
56:32 It's good for the brain.
56:33 Well, it's actually and really good.
56:35 I remember saying this when my kids were little.
56:38 We got to keep the boring parts because I remember when
56:41 I was I would get so bored when I was a kid
56:43 and that's when my you know we weren't allowed to watch TV
56:47 if there was school the next day um which meant most the week.
56:51 We had none of this technology and that's when my mind started
56:55 to do weird things and that's how I make my living now.
56:58 So you got to God I thought this was going to turn into a masturbation story.
57:03 I think we all did.
57:06 That's what out of the room.
57:09 That's the story's not done.
57:11 That's what I was You cut me off.
57:12 You're right.
57:13 I wish somebody HAD YEAH,
57:16 that is what I was getting to.
57:19 I started doing weird.
57:21 Yeah.
57:21 And then
57:23 Yeah.
57:23 Come on.
57:24 And then I said, "And that's how I make my living." And then I became a writer.
57:29 I became a professional masturbator at the circus.
57:34 Um,
57:34 which is it?
57:35 Yeah.
57:35 Anyway,
57:36 what would you say?
57:37 No, nothing.
57:37 accuse me of murder.
57:39 No.
57:39 No.
57:39 I was going to say, is there a comp is there?
57:41 I don't No, never mind.
57:43 I don't want it to be in that.
57:44 Is there a masturbator at the No.
57:45 Is there Is there masturbation competitions?
57:49 I bet there is.
57:50 I hope so, Eduardo.
57:52 I bet there is.
57:53 I'm not looking this one up.
57:54 No, he just meant Eduardo.
57:57 He didn't even know you had a computer.
57:59 What's going on this weekend?
58:02 Let's just say Eduardo is very skilled.
58:06 Um, it is so lovely to talk to you and you you really are
58:11 a remarkable individual and I wish we could all be more like you and I really
58:17 got my text.
58:18 I just read exactly what you wrote.
58:20 Thank you very much.
58:21 I read exactly what you texted that in there
58:24 and a great lover.
58:25 What the is this?
58:28 You misspelled lover.
58:29 Two V's always.
58:31 Uh, I love I I've been I I checked out This is a gardening show.
58:35 I really like it.
58:35 I especially love when you incorporate kids in it and you're talking to them.
58:39 You're so
58:40 It's the easiest thing.
58:41 I know.
58:41 But you're so funny doing it.
58:43 And also, you're in a series, The Audacity, which is getting raves.
58:47 Uh so, congrats to you.
58:49 That's on AMC.
58:50 And you I mean,
58:52 anytime you're in town, you want to come by and talk to us about anything.
58:57 Tomorrow's not good for me.
58:58 Okay.
58:58 The next day.
58:59 No, I Saturday.
59:01 Starting in 6 years from now is what I meant.
59:04 So, I'll see you there.
59:05 Did you end up Oh, never mind.
59:07 I'll ask you later.
59:07 No, you can ask me.
59:08 Did you end up going to Greece for your
59:10 No, we haven't gone to Greece yet for the travel show,
59:12 but I do want to go there.
59:14 It's the best.
59:14 Would you go with me if I went?
59:16 I I would pay for half of it.
59:18 I would love to go, but I might take my gardening show there,
59:25 okay,
59:24 next time.
59:24 But if you do go, please call me cuz I can
59:26 point you in like I have first cousins that are still there,
59:29 so I can point they can help you.
59:31 You should check out the Parthonon,
59:33 you know.
59:34 Thanks a lot.
59:35 No, they were going to take you to the Hard Rock in Athens.
59:40 And I just I hope there's not a Hard Rock cafe in Athens.
59:42 You know, there is.
59:43 They're better.
59:43 I don't think No, the Greek has to be.
59:45 The Greeks are not They're not They're not capitalists that way.
59:48 Good.
59:48 They're not good.
59:50 They actually during the European Union,
59:52 they got really really They got really hurt.
59:56 Yeah.
59:56 By Northern Europe.
59:58 I've never been to Greece in my life, and I would love to go there.
1:00:01 The best.
1:00:01 They know how to live.
1:00:01 They know how to live.
1:00:02 And so do you.
1:00:03 That's right.
1:00:04 And so do you, Zack Galanakis, thank you for being here.
1:00:09 Um, I treasure you.
1:00:10 I really do.
1:00:11 Those aren't cheap.
1:00:12 Could you put it back?
1:00:12 No, I'll put There's a So, you just grabbed one of our
1:00:15 By the way, I was asking the There's a comment box here, right?
1:00:19 We took it down just for you.
1:00:20 Okay.
1:00:21 Well, we'll put it back the minute you're done.
1:00:23 I'll take it to Twitter.
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1:02:19 Okay, look, there's some bad blood out here.
1:02:21 We have to take care of this.
1:02:22 Yes.
1:02:23 Uh, I brought up Sona that um I do a lot of favors for you.
1:02:27 I mean, I do a lot of favors for everybody,
1:02:29 but um you you get more than your share.
1:02:32 Oh my god.
1:02:33 Let's revisit uh this topic.
1:02:35 Okay, okay, you know, I love you.
1:02:37 I adore you.
1:02:38 You're the best.
1:02:39 But you're you're just this blood sucker that's draining me dry.
1:02:45 You are awful.
1:02:46 You're awful.
1:02:48 You're awful.
1:02:49 Are we getting content or not?
1:02:51 We are.
1:02:51 But you know what?
1:02:52 Every clueless gamer, do you take that game home with you?
1:02:56 Oh.
1:02:57 Uh, I would say no.
1:02:59 Actually, maybe only like half the time.
1:03:01 Yeah.
1:03:01 85%.
1:03:03 85% of the time when you do a clueless gamer for a cool game.
1:03:07 How is he a favor?
1:03:08 Because you get some benefit out of it that's not direct.
1:03:11 That's what I'm saying.
1:03:12 We all get a lot of fun stuff from this job.
1:03:16 All I'm going to say is he does a lot of favors for you,
1:03:18 but you do the greatest.
1:03:19 But you But you But you But you do the greatest favor for him.
1:03:22 You make him cool.
1:03:23 Oh, that's the greatest favor you're doing.
1:03:26 I don't know.
1:03:27 Am I doing that?
1:03:27 You do.
1:03:28 You do.
1:03:28 Yeah, I think.
1:03:29 No, people do get excited when you're a cool person.
1:03:34 Um, and you you know me, yes.
1:03:37 Uh, I'm I guess I'm cool and that I pop a leave every now and then.
1:03:41 Uh, I also drink a lot of water with it.
1:03:43 You got to make sure you flush out the system.
1:03:45 But that's a recommendation that's on the bottle.
1:03:48 But, um, wow.
1:03:50 Oh, no.
1:03:50 But I mean, between my al leave use and your um coolness factor,
1:03:56 I think we make a good duo.
1:03:57 I I don't think they're favors.
1:03:58 I think you are paying me back.
1:04:01 What?
1:04:03 Oh, yeah.
1:04:03 For all the So, that means I don't have to pay you financially.
1:04:07 No, you should still do that.
1:04:08 But I also I I don't know for something.
1:04:10 You know what?
1:04:11 I don't resent these favors for you.
1:04:12 I like doing it.
1:04:13 And I will say, look, I needed a segment.
1:04:16 So, I came out swinging.
1:04:17 Yes.
1:04:17 And it worked because you got really mad.
1:04:20 And also, is there some truth in it?
1:04:22 Probably.
1:04:23 Cuz in most my bits, there's a little bit of truth.
1:04:25 This is my nightmare.
1:04:27 And I do a lot of favors for people.
1:04:28 We do.
1:04:29 Um, and we have to do a favor persona today, for instance, at the end of this.
1:04:33 Oh, is that true?
1:04:35 Yeah.
1:04:35 What's happening today?
1:04:36 Uh, we have to I don't want to r That's right.
1:04:38 We get to do a persona.
1:04:40 You know that I like doing things for the Armenian community.
1:04:42 You know, I like doing that.
1:04:43 They're the ones You took me to Armenia in 2015 and leave you there.
1:04:48 You know, that was the plan.
1:04:49 The plan was to leave you there and then I was like, "Shut the door.
1:04:51 Shut the door." And the pilot didn't shut the door fast enough and you squirted
1:04:57 into the plane and you were like, "Where it back?"
1:05:01 But the plan was to leave you there.
1:05:03 Well, thank you for doing that.
1:05:04 But you shone a light on my beautiful homeland.
1:05:07 And since then, you've been kind of an honorary Armenian.
1:05:11 They're very excited.
1:05:12 You know what I will say?
1:05:13 Armenian people are always very happy to see me.
1:05:16 Yes.
1:05:16 and they say and I say inch and then they
1:05:19 say lm and we have like a nice thing going.
1:05:22 So that's always nice.
1:05:23 I meet a lot of them in steam rooms.
1:05:25 I don't know what that's all about.
1:05:26 Several times I've been in a sauna or a steam room and the naked
1:05:30 men in there have been Armenian and we have a nice chat about Armenia.
1:05:33 Okay.
1:05:33 Oh, that's nice.
1:05:34 That's a nice See, that's the thing.
1:05:36 If you hadn't taken me to Armenia,
1:05:37 I don't think you would have been getting as many asks.
1:05:40 And I filter a lot, but there are some that I
1:05:43 And we're doing one today, which is important.
1:05:45 one today and it's because it's for an important event.
1:05:47 What is it?
1:05:48 It's the Armenian Heritage Walk Gala in Philadelphia and I'm MCing it.
1:05:52 And uh Oh, you MC a gala?
1:05:54 Oh, you're going to I'm going to Philadelphia.
1:05:58 Oh, I see there's a benefit and you're going to be up there saying,
1:06:00 "All right, our next auction item of that kind of thing."
1:06:02 No, no, it's going to be like honoring people who helped them do it.
1:06:05 It's this it's this permanent installation by the Philadelphia Museum of Art.
1:06:09 Do you have jokes written?
1:06:10 I'm not you.
1:06:11 I don't I don't Well, we know that, but I mean, what about
1:06:14 the bar is really low?
1:06:16 No, but you got to have some material.
1:06:17 You can't You can't MC a gala and not have material.
1:06:20 That's true.
1:06:21 What kind of jokes do they like?
1:06:22 I haven't I haven't written anything yet.
1:06:25 When is it?
1:06:25 Soon, right?
1:06:26 It's like really soon.
1:06:27 Okay, you have to write material.
1:06:29 Maybe I would help you another favor.
1:06:31 But let's You can't offer to do something and then say you're doing me a favor.
1:06:35 I can say yes to things and then resent them because that is my true hobby.
1:06:39 that you are.
1:06:39 I say yes to stuff and then I resent it.
1:06:41 Um, you know, we got to think of some jokes, you know, about I have some
1:06:46 like what about pomegranates and I don't want to tell you.
1:06:49 I'm nervous.
1:06:50 Let's hear it.
1:06:51 I think Well, um, one of the honores No, this is stupid.
1:06:55 I can't.
1:06:55 Come on.
1:06:56 Yes.
1:06:56 No, we know.
1:06:57 We have to now.
1:07:00 One of one of the honores is an Armenian man who's an astronaut.
1:07:03 He's And so I'm going to say, you know, within the last six months,
1:07:07 we've had one of the greatest moments in space
1:07:09 when Katy Perry went up for 10 minutes.
1:07:12 That's a good joke.
1:07:12 It's a misdirect.
1:07:14 That's a good joke.
1:07:14 It's a misdirect.
1:07:16 That's a good joke.
1:07:16 Everyone's going to think I'm talking about explain to me how a misdirect works.
1:07:20 Yes.
1:07:20 This is what comedy is.
1:07:22 Conan O'Brien.
1:07:23 No, but you know what?
1:07:23 I think that's a funny joke.
1:07:26 Okay.
1:07:25 You know what's another good joke?
1:07:26 I is added to every Armenian name, right?
1:07:29 Yeah.
1:07:29 So, you could say uh there's some
1:07:31 other great uh uh celebrities who are Armenian.
1:07:34 Um Katie Perryan.
1:07:37 Um you know, uh Tom Cruzian, John Travoltian.
1:07:43 Yeah.
1:07:43 Okay.
1:07:43 You know what I mean?
1:07:44 Yeah.
1:07:44 I mean, this is a good Sabrina Carpenterian.
1:07:49 I mean, you know, you could go into that whole thing.
1:07:53 Okay.
1:07:52 Uh and you could list a whole bunch
1:07:54 of celebrities real names before they shorten them.
1:07:56 You know what I'm saying?
1:07:57 Yeah.
1:07:57 Okay.
1:07:58 I like that.
1:07:58 I O'Brienian not so good.
1:08:02 It didn't roll off the tongue.
1:08:03 And also there's already a lot going on with your last
1:08:06 few jokes about some of the other the true famous like Dr.
1:08:09 Kavorian Aron honores.
1:08:11 So I'm coming up with bits for each one.
1:08:13 I'm going to kill it at this Armenian
1:08:15 gala even more than your previous uh host Dr.
1:08:18 Kavorian.
1:08:21 God, right?
1:08:24 God tune in.
1:08:25 That's a good joke.
1:08:26 He killed people.
1:08:27 I know.
1:08:28 Okay.
1:08:28 I know.
1:08:29 Yeah.
1:08:29 He's the pride of the Armenian people.
1:08:31 Don't say that.
1:08:32 Did he drive around in a van and do it?
1:08:33 I forget how he did it.
1:08:34 You know what?
1:08:35 Nowadays, euthanasia is not looked at as poorly as it was before.
1:08:39 He was a Well, his name was Dr.
1:08:42 Death, and he drove around in a van.
1:08:44 But yeah, you're right.
1:08:44 He was a pioneer.
1:08:46 No, ending people's lives is all cool now.
1:08:48 Um, they wanted to end them.
1:08:49 They were all, weren't they all terminally ill?
1:08:52 All right, you're taking us down a dark road.
1:08:54 I'm going to kill it up here.
1:08:55 I'm going to be Armenian host who kills it.
1:08:57 the fastest since Dr.
1:08:59 Kavorian.
1:09:00 That's funny.
1:09:01 That's a good joke.
1:09:02 Oh god.
1:09:03 And then you say, by the way, other, you know, famous and then it's Dr.
1:09:06 Perry.
1:09:07 You know what I mean?
1:09:07 You know, the singer Sea Casian is a good one.
1:09:13 I mean, we're coming up with good material right here.
1:09:15 You're going to kill at this thing.
1:09:16 I know.
1:09:17 Oh, I could come out as a character.
1:09:20 What?
1:09:20 Yes, I could be a character.
1:09:21 I could come out like as an old Armenian lady and then,
1:09:24 you know, and I do a character.
1:09:25 That won't be offensive at all.
1:09:27 Can I hear you?
1:09:28 Can let me hear your old Armenian lady.
1:09:30 Oh, hello.
1:09:31 It's nice to be here.
1:09:33 I I dried the apricots and flattened them and now we're eating them.
1:09:37 I knew it was going to be whatever.
1:09:38 And it would kill and guess what?
1:09:40 I'm going to fly out.
1:09:41 I'm going to write this material and I'm going to do this on the on the gala
1:09:44 and then I'm really going to resent you and say it was a fair.
1:09:47 Of course, there's that old saying uh those who
1:09:50 are given much are expected to give much.
1:09:53 Um, and it's clear that I've been gifted with some divine powers and uh,
1:09:59 so I must uh, spend my time on this earth um, doing favors for Sonia Obsessian.
1:10:04 I think that's the rule here.
1:10:06 But um, you know, I love you.
1:10:07 You know, I care about you.
1:10:08 Do you do you as a bit I do.
1:10:11 Oh, that's nice.
1:10:12 Well, thank you.
1:10:13 I love you too as a bit.
1:10:14 Love you as a bit.
1:10:15 Bye.