Honest Game Trailer Doom: The Dark Ages

0:00 The following is rated S for spoilers.

0:04 [Music] From the developers of just four IPs since 1993 that are

0:13 really just the same game with a different genre to murder in.

0:16 And also orcs and elves.

0:18 Where's that reboot?

0:19 Comes the pre-sequel that boldly asks the question, who wins?

0:23 The armies of hell or one big angry boy?

0:27 Doom.

0:29 The Dark Ages.

0:31 Play the video game equivalent of popping bubble wrap with a sledgehammer

0:36 as once again the most driven man in the universe

0:39 goes to hell where we'll get a glimpse into another chapter

0:42 of his gothass saga back when he wasn't afraid to accessorize.

0:47 I know the rule is no capes, but he was killing it in his Farquad era.

0:52 Some of you may die, but it's a sacrifice I am willing to make.

0:57 Then embody his angry, detached hands,

1:00 and direct his void rage against demons, the makers, and physical media.

1:06 Cuz killing demons is way more fun than facing your own.

1:09 Cheaper than therapy, and he just has a way with words, you know.

1:14 [Music] They're here balling back.

1:20 We'll meet you at the exit.

1:21 Return to Argentinur.

1:24 Wait, that sounds familiar.

1:26 carrying out the tireless work of Doomg guy.

1:29 Oh boy, here I go killing again.

1:31 But this time, you dropped acid at medieval times.

1:34 Otherwise, everything is pretty much the same as every other game,

1:37 where you're the only one confident enough to kill demons despite missing

1:41 a million bullets against demon security worse

1:44 than the PlayStation Network and Twitter combined.

1:47 Except for the added bonus that everyone presses like a stripper at Renfair.

1:53 All hail King Nips.

1:56 Follow Doomguy's quest to not just be a Doom guy, but a Doom man,

2:01 where he'll stop killing demons just for fun and starts killing to save

2:05 princesses from castles as knockoff Bram Stoker

2:09 Dracula tries to harness an ancient McGuffin.

2:12 And Doomg guy saves the day again with the power of shotgun and bashing

2:17 things with a metal plate in the usual epic battle of good versus Cthulhu.

2:24 I mean, why not?

2:26 But is made slightly more interesting because everything looks like it

2:29 came straight out of a heavy metal comic with sticky pages.

2:32 All right, PC modders.

2:34 I want Doomg guy riding a dragon in a bikini

2:36 with his massive knockers out, and I want it now.

2:39 Get ready to harness the power of what it feels like to be three linebackers

2:43 in a trench coat and the absolutely hectic gameplay of Dark Ages as the prequel

2:49 takes away his ballerina dancing shoes to replace

2:52 it with more bashy bashy as you

2:55 parry more than a no- hit Dark Souls run with a gun pointed to your head,

2:59 balancing, never letting go of the fire button and putting

3:02 your shield up when you see the green attacks.

3:05 still expecting you to scroll through your Bass Pro

3:07 Shop arsenal of weapons and a shield that has

3:10 a go- go gadget amount of gimmicks in game

3:13 play that feels like it's returning to its roots,

3:16 but also feels like you're playing DDR while being attacked by a swarm of bees.

3:22 Dance, you fat.

3:25 Confront the toughest enemy that you've always faced in these games.

3:29 Your terrible sense of direction as you explore the many buttholes

3:33 and sphincters of the different dimensions

3:35 you're thrust into, where you'll spend 20%

3:37 of the time killing all the baddies and the other 80 just

3:41 roaming around for the single crack that let you into the secret area.

3:45 All right, then keep your secrets.

3:47 Then traverse with some of the new added modes

3:49 of transportation like flying around on your dragon shooting stuff like

3:54 you're playing Star Fox and riding a giant mech playing

3:57 Punch Out through giant demons to just reach the other side.

4:01 Oh, that was supposed to be combat.

4:03 So, I guess just the dragon then in a pretty run-of-the-mill

4:07 Doom exploration with some Spyro and Power Rangers popped on top.

4:11 Although, you never see Spyro spit fire into a giant

4:13 demon's mouth and explode them from inside out.

4:16 You know, Spyro could take some notes.

4:20 So, rev up that shield somehow and get ready

4:23 to rip and tear like it's the first time.

4:27 No, no, no.

4:29 In a return to form,

4:31 where whether or not this is a good thing mostly depends on if you

4:35 like being a hummingbird with a chainsaw

4:37 that might be lacking in some departments,

4:39 but is metal enough for you to enjoy it like it's meant to be played.

4:44 brain off in a four locoinduced mania.

4:48 I mean, come on.

4:48 You fight in a giant mech against Robo Cthulhu.

4:51 If you look at it that way, this game is basically Citizen K.

4:56 Starring Guts in the 22nd Century.

5:00 The Octoie really needs Novvic Kane.

5:04 Lady Gaga.

5:06 Hey, what's under that veil?

5:07 Hotness.

5:09 Stillwood, a politician, Robocop in Florida, Cyber Crusher, Agaton,

5:16 thine balls on thy chin, and the rest of the exploding meat.

5:22 Legend of Doomgy: Tears of the Kingdom.

5:27 With as epic as everything is, we sometimes forget Doomguy's humble beginnings.

5:31 Mostly the fact that he goes on an unending

5:33 massive death parade because they killed his pet bunny.

5:35 I mean, really, he was the OG John Wick before John Wicking was even a thing.

5:39 My bunny demands bloody retribution.

5:42 Tell us what you'd like to hear in my epic voice in the comments below.

5:47 I am unfortunately the hero of ages.

5:52 I still can't get Pokémon cards.

5:55 20% of Georgia is lost to the bears.

6:00 I never get any of those read comments.

6:04 It's the banana man, the daywalker.

6:11 [Music]